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repentents · 2 years

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INTRODUCTING ... I POUR ALCOHOL INTO THE GAPING HOLE IN MY CHEST. IT DOES NOT HEAL / NOT TODAY / MAYBE TOMORROW.

GENERAL DETAILS.

FULL NAME: weston tobias abbott NICKNAME(S): wes, toby, chef in professional settings AGE: forty DATE OF BIRTH: november 22nd PLACE OF BIRTH: westerly, ri CURRENT LOCATION: westerly, ri — returned officially about nine months ago ETHNICITY: caucasian; german & british hailing GENDER: cis male PRONOUNS: he / him ORIENTATION: questioning RELIGION: lapsed catholic OCCUPATION: executive chef & current owner of restaurant ‘ six oh one ‘ LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: two bedroom flat downtown; he’s hardly unpacked since moving in but at least he has a couch! FINANCIAL STATUS: upper middle class with tendencies to splurge on practical and collectible items alike. SPOKEN LANGUAGES: english, conversational german

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

FACECLAIM: chris evans HAIR COLOR AND STYLE: dark brown, styled in a medium length quiff with tapered sides. EYE COLOR: cornflower blue with flecks of green. EYESIGHT: farsighted, often wears round frame reading glasses to combat such. HEIGHT: 6′1″ WEIGHT: 187 lbs. BODY AND BUILD: well built & athletic TATTOOS: lots of meaningless stick and pokes dotted around the few that actually have some meaning; most notably, his brother’s birthday transcribed on his left wrist. PIERCINGS: none, but he still has a scar from that one time he had a brow piercing. CLOTHING STYLE: moody with classical, slim silhouettes when not adorning his whites in the kitchen. SIGNATURE SCENT: devoted dior sauvage wearer

HEALTH.

MENTAL DISORDER(S): unmedicated anxiety disorder SLEEPING HABITS: constantly tired, hardly well rested; sleeps ‘ when he can ’. EATING HABITS: unregulated but he keeps a somewhat healthy diet. SOCIABILITY: none. do not perceive him. ADDICTIONS: alcoholism, previous history with prescription pill abuse. DRUG USE: irregularly, only smokes weed ALCOHOL USE: frequently but not socially

PERSONALITY.

LABEL(S): the isolato, the crestfallen, the despondent POSITIVE TRAITS: independent, ambitious, imaginative, competitive, reliable NEGATIVE TRAITS: enigmatic, nihilistic, domineering, perfectionistic, penitent HABITS: taking up space for no good reason: sprawling across chairs and couches, leaning in doorframes and against walls, taking his anger out on his line staff, nervous hand rubbing. GOALS AND AMBITIONS: hardly inhibits any current long term ambitions on account of his therapist’s suggestion; for now, wes’ only goal is getting through the day.

FAMILY, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC.

MOTHER: gisela abbott ( 67, alive ) FATHER: elias abbott ( 73, deceased ) SIBLING(S): jaime abbott ( 39, deceased ), mila abbot ( 37, alive ) PET(S): none officially but he’s befriended a stray cat unofficially garbo on account of how many times he’s spotted it rummaging in the garbage bins behind six oh one.

BACKSTORY

TW: child neglect, familial loss, mentions of mental health

the eldest by a handful of months, weston grew up trying to be everything his little siblings needed. their parents are twisted but he would learn to see them1 through rose-colored glasses instead of living in pain. when his siblings fell, he felt it, too, & when they cried, weston was the shoulder to lean on. it’s too much responsibility. his parents fed and clothed them, but he held their mental health in his hands and the truth is he was no better. weston just got so good at hiding behind this mask that he couldn’t seem to tell the difference between himself & party favor anymore, and the fact of the matter is that while weston was quiet and just so different in a way that his parents feared he would be, he blended in like a chameleon.

he was class president & prom royal. that’s the way it’s always been. but all the academic strivings and kodak ready smiles in the world can’t hide the fact that weston was no better. the older he got, the more they could see. his grandmother, first. then his little brother’s best friend. his first love. everything he tried to hide sits in his lap & wes tried to wrestle it into submission and but sometimes it won. they know him but he doesn’t. his eyes flashed golden sometimes when he’s mad enough that he remembers that he’s the one who put the burn stains on the wood floors of his family’s old home, but he’s more human than anyone can ever even imagine.

he was angry in a way they couldn’t be. he liked classical music at prolific volumes and he liked driving his car too fast and wes liked making people regret believing in him. his mother scoffs. says he’s just like his grandmother who she moved countries to get away from, who drank vodka like orange juice, who never could stand the way her daughter liked to lie to herself. his father glances away. asks weston to please turn that down, or please show your ‘ friend ‘ out, or to please stop ruining dinner. when he’s home alone again at age eighteen wes makes them regret treating him like this. and when he’s nineteen when they leave the keys to the porsche in his eyesight. and when he’s twenty-one and him and jaime can’t even make it up the steps to the front door because you’re so wasted new years eve. wes can be angry and vicious and that made him really fucking happy in a way that nothing else does.

but, when his father passes, reality grips wes with a frightening stillness. while his siblings are inducted into the family business and take the helm of the restaurant, wes packed his life away into cardboard boxes and leaves washington for the first time in his life. his first taste of true freedom. freedom, as it turned out, felt an awful lot like being confined as well, as weston shackled himself to shitty jobs to keep a steady flow of money coming in, living in leaky flats with shitty roommates and eating a lot of humble pie as he figured himself out. eventually, he finds his own current and instead of cleaning dishes, he prods the idea that had always lingered in the back of his mind: culinary school. he’d never been the best cook, jaime had bested him at that, but it was something weston could apply himself to, so he latched on.

for the first time in many, many years, weston allows himself to follow through and with this new career set into motion, he took the plunge and quit his day-job the moment that first soux chef check landed in his palms. he spends the next few years embracing this one true freedom — falling in love with girl who he didn’t deserve once, twice, maybe three times, studying things that truly enthralled him, and establishing himself in the culinary field. swiftly rising from soux to executive chef, his name becoming synonymous with splashy ‘chefs to watch for’ writeups and running a world class line staff. though, weston stills for just a moment long enough for life to pass him by at a frightening pace. within the span of a few months he was awarded the james beard foundation award and in the same span, lost his younger and only brother, jaime. as it turns out, old habits thought to be deaded a decade ago have an odd habit of rearing their heads when least needed and so the cycle reinvents itself and lurches onward.

and it’s like being guilty for a crime he hadn’t committed because while weston was innocent in the larger scheme of things, he cannot help but to think that it should have been him. if anyone could bare the weight of the world, let alone keep the family business afloat, it could have been weston. not jaime. jaime should have been the one living his life, and instead he took his father’s place while wes indulged in god knows who or what for the past decade. for now, weston is back in town, picking up where jaime left off: cooking up good food, repaying back a debt he didn’t take out, and trying his very best not to think of all the unpleasant things.

HEADCANONS

renamed barnie’s ( the family restaurant ) after jamie’s birthday on 06/01/83

slipped back into binge drinking after his brother passed

still attends his AA meetings, though he has yet to fess up to not being sober; mostly just attends for emotional validation at this point.

while they weren’t born at the same time, wes and jaime were oft called the “ abbott twins ” growing up on account of how closely they stuck to one another.

currently receiving a bit of pushback following the recent conversion of barnies into six oh one but there still hope of getting both kitchen staff and previous regulars of the restaurant on board with the change.

owns thousand dollar chef knives but has no curtains in his apartment.

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