#·· broccolydia / CRACK

[vanbredevoort]

Lydia, my ego is hurt, I need my daily ego boost. I was rejected by this damn woman once again. Imagine I want to settle after 600 years for an HALF elf and she keeps gushing about her godess of darkness instead. Tell me I am pretty

"Lady of Sorrow guides us---

I'm kidding you are beautiful amazing astonishing smart capable regal elegant and what does she know tho, she was in a cult, i smell pyramid scheme right there, BE YOUR OWN BOSS AND BRINGER OF SHADOWS, ASK ME HOW kind of stuff and also did you look at the company she has? a teddy bear with rage issues, a wizard who dies of 1d6 'Being my ex girlfriend's leftovers' damage, a man with daddy and evil-devil-mommy issues, a toad with somehow similar rage issues, a giant who smells of bear crap, and a fucking vampire who doesn't die OR shine with glitter under the sun. preposterous.

also her hair is horrible."

#enidrhena #·· broccolydia / CRACK #( lyd: vicious mockery nat20 let's go )

[vanbredevoort]

did you just call me a bitch

"Words mean nothing. They're constructs. Concepts. They're consensus from species able to form complex sounds and understand their nature through teaching and practice. But that's it, right? They're just sounds. It's air being pushed and pulled, it's tongue and lips forming, deforming and reshaping how the air flows. And the meaning of those sounds depends on your knowledge and the workings of the part of your brain that processes speech-- in one, ten, a hundred years, the same sounds could mean different things. Sometimes close to the original meaning, sometimes the exact opposite. Words don't have meaning by themselves, we give them logic but it's just sounds. Would a rose stop being of a deep red shade, would it cease to smell like it does if we changed its name? Would it-- yes i called you a bitch. best bitch tho. best of bestest prettiest bitch, queen bitch supreme please don't leave me???????"

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #( you can all unfollow me i'll understand ) #( this is the quality of this blog. right there. )

[vanbredevoort]

Philippa 👀: lydia, my sweet girl! i see a big... briiiight future in front of you, a pair of astonishing..... paths yes paths for you and such big massive duo of......... dreams and hopes yes both both, very big very impressive i must touch i mean see them for myself you know they must weight heavily i mean the CHOICES you've made so far, can i cup them i mean see them in full? your decisions yes i meant decisions, silly me, yes, where was i. oh yes tits--- i mean bits, yes, bits of your research lydia, very important, i must squeeze...... squeeze the knowledge i mean right?

yes goodbye lady eilhart

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #( OMG ) #( O M F G ) #( I AM SCREAMING V LOUDLY ) #( i'm sure no matter who or where you are you can hear me screaming bc I AM SCREAMING ) #( i lost it i'm officially broken ) #( nsft i guess????? )

[vanbredevoort]

casually send her a new dagger along with fruits from the valley and a new dress which shows of them boobies. a letter is attached, "use your weapons woman, you got the biggest among us!!!!!"

she puts the dagger on display.

she eats the fruit by the fire.

the fire is the dress.

#enidrhena #·· broccolydia / CRACK #( BIGGEST WEAPONS ) #( I AM D Y I N G )

[vanbredevoort]

kisses lyd on the cheek!!!

i have been blessed by the holy lips thus i will not bathe for the next eleven years as to keep the lipstick mark from the queen on me for as long as i can. i have recieved the kisses of the goddess. the smooch of the cutest pooch. the peck of the straightness wreck.

#draconisa #·· broccolydia / CRACK #( the simping hurts my eyes but nurtures my soul )

[vanbredevoort]

"alcohol is great but have you ever loved and been loved in return?

me neither.

pass the bottle"

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #( kicks up leg lydia is spiralling and SO AM I )

[vanbredevoort]

@fioletowaroza

#fioletowaroza #·· broccolydia / CRACK #·· dash commentary #( ........ L IS T EN )

[vanbredevoort]

tastes good. tastes like evelynn towerdive. tastes like a fully stacked mejais.

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #·· dash comm #( like evelynn calling you DARLING )

[vanbredevoort]

listen, if you want us to succeed with ... the thanded thing, we need some distraction. I am flat as a board. Phil like bigger boobies. show them off just ONE night and I get the scoiatael in. PLEASEEEEEE. I buy you a dagger.

Fine. FINE. I will wear something that shows them off during the banquet, but it's just a ONE time thing, only ONE time becauseiamdyingthatday what? what did i just say? nothing, absolutely nothing what do you MEAN what is that dagger ha ha it's absolutely nothing i'm not going to do anything with it to ensure your safety lady findabair what do you mean ha ha ha ha so i've been meaning to ask, what's a good color to pair with red like blood red?

#enidrhena #·· broccolydia / CRACK #( i thought about apologising for the shitposting but that last sentence makes it up for it )

[vanbredevoort]

why am i listed as Lady Findabair's pet ?

where did it all go wrong ??

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #( shut up and embrace lyd. shut up and embrace )

[vanbredevoort]

Good boy, says Lydia, clearly not holding @siimplewolf at gunpoint at. all.

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #( HE DID NOTHING WRONG says lydia clearly delusional )

[vanbredevoort]

WE DAGGER PALS.

(@shatteredqueen)

dagger pals 4 life.

... short very short lives bc you know we kinda DIED.

leaves running bc pls viego this doesn't mean i'm indulging her don't bring ruination to my hoUSE I HAVE MY OWN OVERPOWERED VILLAIN TO TAKE CARE OF.

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #·· v; radiant virtue / VERSE7 #( lyd: opens door. ruination. proceeds to close door with 2108378 locks ) #( we can hold hands and bond over the D's. by Ds i mean daggers&death )

[vanbredevoort]

can you believe that this is real footage of resurrected!lydia feeding her daughter ???

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #·· v; the experiment / VERSE3 #( IT'S CARNAGE BLOODY FUCKING CARNAGE )

[vanbredevoort]

grabs by the waist

p u s h e s a w a y with index finger

#Anonymous #·· broccolydia / CRACK #( b e g o N E )

[vanbredevoort]

@ofrxvia​  “Sure are mouthy for a woman without one.”

i’m about to end 1 (one) man.

#·· broccolydia / CRACK #·· the beetrot / GERALT

[vanbredevoort]

snarkomancy mentioned you in a post

@vanbredevoort​ DON'T OPEN THAT LYDIA!

“oh, a box! so pretty! and it feels good to the touch... ouch, something pinched me? it hurts. well i guess i’ll die”

#snarkomancy #·· broccolydia / CRACK #tw: blood #OOPS. #THERE SHE GOES AGAIN.MP3