#<- they'll be okay and things Very likely don't have consequences that matter but they've been. Very frustrated and needs to complain a bit

[purgemarchlockdown]

I would like to know more about your milgram oc!! I am. Interested 👉👈 i have no specific inquiries i would like to just Know More

!!! I Would love to talk more about my kid! I wonder how obvious it gets to me how really fucking horrible school environments can be...

(CWs for: Bullying, self-harm, and horribly toxic childhood friendships)

So 011 is a Very Normal (undiagonsed autism) 12 year old (I made them older cause I felt uncomfy...) who is very isolated at school and is utterly terrified of everyone there. They've been bullied for years and no matter what they do it hasn't stopped, they have a few friends though and one of them is Their Victim. Who is their oldest friend and their closet friend

Their friendship isn't exactly the healthiest though, their victim gets angry at them if they're away for too long or if they "ignore" them and can start "testing" them at any moment to see if they really really want to be their friend. And since 011 doesn't Want to Lose them they end up doing whatever their victim wants them to do. This is compounded by the fact that 011 is always worried that they're doing something wrong because...why else would people be so mean to them if they aren't hurting them somehow? So they've gone all their life apologizing for *looks at notes* uh...existing and doing what other people want them to do so they don't hurt anyone.

The thing is...they do actually really do want to hurt the people that hurt them and sometimes this comes out with vague threats and outbursts. It (usually, this is a Milgram Oc after all) stops their since they don't want to go too far. They do however tend to daydream about violent revenge fantasies, though these fantasies usually involve them dying in some way to showcase how truly horrible their actions were and to make everyone who hurt them feel horrible because see! Their actions did have consequences!

This also applies to their victim and sometimes if their feeling really frustrated and upset at what their doing they'll threaten to hurt themselves so that they'll stop. And then The victim apologies and says it's all okay again and they're sorry and they won't hurt them ever again...and then they do it again.

It's very unhealthy but since 011 never likes making people worry and wants people to be happy and doesn't like hurting people (generally speaking,) they never say anything and always makes sure to hide how they feel as best they can. And even though they aren't the greatest at hiding it their basically never willing to admit it.

So we're very much in a situation where we are kinda stuck. With 011 stuck in a horribly toxic friendship where as long as they don't upset Their Victim they will be rewarded with happiness and friendship but also really wanting to upset them because they are really fucking sick of it all. And since most of the bullying is social isolation has caused them horrible trust issues that make them react more aggressively the next time they feel threatened- it just drives them further into isolation...and their victim, meaning the cycle continues ad nauseam.

This all comes to ahead one day, after being really fucking sick of their victim's bullshit. They push them...down the stairs.

Manslaughter has been committed and now they are at Milgram! They are so incredibly fucking scared, and sad, and wants to bite through the bars.

So uh- yeah- my guy! I always get worried I write them a bit too melodramatically but then I remember I can do whatever I want.

#asks #oc nonsense #*writes down all my thoughts* ...yeah I think my guy Does deserve a gun actually

[furiousgoldfish]

why my trauma affects me more than anyone i know...people my age are getting into colleges/jobs and I'm crying and panicking all the time and especially at the sight of work, even tho studying/working isn't that bad

So there could be multiple reasons. It could be that they're having some kind of support system that enables them to have energy to do more things, it's possible they've had some support during the trauma that made it easier to process and survive, or you're possibly operating on different timelines altogether.

Some types of trauma allow people to be buried in work – for instance, when trauma had nothing to do with work or studies, and that areas aren't triggering. Some people overdo their work in order to deal with trauma, so they seem as if they're accomplishing a lot, but in reality, they're not allowed to stop, and they will burn out, and suffer very severe consequences for it.

Some people are able to stay dissociated from trauma for a long time, and do things normally in order to escape from the dangerous/abusive situations, and they will eventually crash down and develop ptsd, and then it's likely they'll have a hard time doing anything from that point on.

It sounds like you're caught in trauma and panic right now, and now is your worst time, when you're terrified to the point where you're paralyzed, and nothing feels doable. This isn't your fault. It's okay to only survive for now, and other people's timelines don't matter, because you're not on schedule to follow, you need to survive the terror and danger of the worst things that ever happened to you. This won't last forever, and if you're able to take time and process it now, it will be very beneficial for the rest of your life. It's also possible your trauma is work/study related, so this is what is the most panic-inducing thing in the world, in which case it's better for you to develop a comfort zone first, and to not force yourself to go thru triggering situations until you feel safe.

It also sounds like you're scared of failure, missing out, losing your future, or somehow being less than, and I can promise you none of that is true.

We're all only human, and we're born to enjoy life, to be with each other, to get interested in whatever we like, to work together, to love and be. Not to follow capitalistic schedules or prove our worth in work or grades or careers. A person can pick up their life and follow a new ambition or interest or job at any age or phase of their life, and this will never stop being an option. You're not in competition with all your peers, you're only subjected to a system that tries to make it seem so.

At some point in your trauma, you'll get some leeway to start new things, to feel unafraid and confident again. It would also help a lot if you have someone to cheer you on, reassure you, and praise you for every bit of progress, support makes it a lot easier to move forward. I wish you good luck, and I'm really sorry for what you're being put thru.

#ask #furiousgoldfish #types of trauma #trauma processing #working while traumatized

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

ooh! I have thoughts on Eridan!

okay so, to me, Eridan ties into this thing that homestuck has going on with a lot of its more morally grey characters... the question of how responsible young people are for their negative qualities and actions, and where the age threshold for personal responsibility is.

the characters in homestuck all straddle this line between being young enough to consider them victims of the forces that influence them, while also old enough to understand what they're doing and how it affects others... especially because a lot of these kids come off as really smart for their age, and very precocious. we've all been through phases in our lives that make us cringe, not because we're ashamed of something harmless, but because we recognize that we had absorbed something harmful, and took longer than we wish we had to unlearn it. it could be as simple as being kind of a jerk in a misguided attempt to seem cool, or as dramatic as actually hurting someone in an attempt to remedy one's own insecurities by putting down others to seem better by comparison... but how far can you push that before people aren't willing to forgive? before people abandon the notion that better guidance and more appropriate role models could reform someone? and it's especially interesting when you consider how old homestuck's core audience might've been when they first encountered this story, and how it affected their perception of the characters if they saw them as peers, rather than as children from an adult's perspective.

so to talk about Eridan, I wanna frame this in terms of his classpect, because it actually goes a long way towards contextualizing his behavior. Eridan is a prince of hope, meaning that he destroys hope or uses hope to destroy... and this can be seen in practically every conversation he has. if Eridan is contacting someone, it is because he expects something of them. advice, or consolation, or a solution to a problem he's having... it's always something. when he contacts Kanaya, he wants her to auspistize between him and Vriska. when he contacts Feferi, he wants her to give him encouragement, and maybe date him when he asks. and in every case, the way he demands these things by being rude, whiny, or self pitying, makes people reluctant or unwilling to give him what he expects. he destroys what he hopes to obtain.

it goes deeper than that though. Eridan has absorbed this ideology of sea dweller superiority from living on Alternia... and he actually takes it way farther than it even makes sense to. the aristocracy on Alternia use the lower class for all sorts of menial work that they feel entitled not to have to do themselves. they might have the ability to freely cull individual low bloods for any reason, but eradicating all land dwelling trolls would leave a lot of unpleasant yet necessary tasks with no one to do them. I don't think Eridan actually wants to live in a reality where sea dwellers have to pick up the slack of doing things like sanitation work, or construction or something... but another concept that is heavily tied to the hope aspect is delusion. Eridan is exaggerating. he's trying to agree with Alternia's ruthless class structure so hard that it's actually kind of absurd. but Feferi calls him on that... she says she thinks that he self sabotages on purpose. because he knows, at least in some capacity, that the consequences of getting what he "wants" would actually be really uncomfortable to live with.

so not only is Eridan's goal to destroy... it is also a false goal that he constantly undermines. and all of his waffling between grandstanding and self pity destroys his romantic prospects, which are what he actually seems to want the most.

if you look at the way Eridan pursues relationships, he actually makes a lot of logical sense, but not a lot of emotional sense. he's idealized the act of perfectly filling the relationship requirements of each quadrant. he wants Feferi to be his matesprit, which is purely based on the fact that she's high enough on the hemospectrum to be an appropriate match in terms of status. he wants Vriska to be his kismesis, and Kanaya to be their auspistice, and there are hints that Karkat might've been someone he was considering for moiraillegience, though it wasn't emphasized as much. and there you go! his goal is specific, but it's based more on ideals than on the actual needs and feelings of the people involved, and it's totally self centered... he always wants them to cater to his own needs. the reason why he gets as nihilistic as he does on the meteor, is because all of his endeavors to achieve these relationships are falling through. he feels like he has no hope of mending his existing connections, because he still only sees them in terms of people either giving him, or not giving him, what he wants. but the rest of their race is dead. as the last twelve trolls in existence, they only have each other as romantic options. and as Eridan gets more and more desperate, he gets more and more demanding, which is the exact quality that drives everyone away from him to begin with, and it culminates in him having a "if I can't have what I want then nobody can have any of their hopes either" meltdown.

to backtrack a bit, I wanna reconsider questions such as, when is a kid old enough to be held responsible for their own negative qualities? like... when are you comfortable with ceasing to blame environmental factors? when are they just a bad person? is it after they've refused a certain number of chances to make better choices? when do they reach an age, or level of bad behavior, that makes you think they can't be helped to reform from these negative qualities? where does an adult lose their patience for the idea that a kid is just a victim of their upbringing?

obviously Feferi is Eridan's peer, but these are basically the questions she grapples with when she talks to Eridan. it's like growing up next door to a kid whose parents have some aggressively wrong-headed political stances. as you grow, that kid might mirror their parents' way of thinking... and by the time the two of you are in your teens, it's hard to ignore how much of a jerk that kid is becoming. but you've seen them at every step of their development. you know where it comes from. maybe theirs is the dominant political belief in the community, even if your own parents aren't like that. maybe you wonder if you would've agreed with them if you grew up under their circumstances. you've felt the pressure, but you haven't lived in it like they have, and maybe if they just had the chance to grow up under different conditions, they wouldn't be this way. and you are aware that you could be an influence on them... maybe they need you to help them see another perspective. you always got along so well as kids. when did things even change? and that's kind of where I imagine Feferi is at when we're introduced to her and Eridan. it's a crossroads between believing that you might still matter enough to them to change their outlook, and the persistence of their ingrained beliefs. it's tiring to do that kind of work, over a long period of time, to minimal results. when is the appropriate time to give up? in this way, Feferi's own hopes for Eridan fade over time. she says at one point that she was mainly acting as his moirail so he wouldn't try to underfeed her lusus and kill the land dwellers that way. she's not sure how serious he is, and she can't take that risk. deep down, I'm pretty sure Eridan knew he was never actually going to commit a genocide... but his need to grandstand, and legitimate belief in his caste superiority, had convinced Feferi enough that she still felt obligated to manage him as though he was a real threat.

these characters are thirteen years old. they're right at the edge of childhood and adolescence... right at the age where children aren't quite so innocent. they want to assert themselves. they aren't mature, so there's a lot of responsibility that they still shouldn't be trusted with yet, but they've become aware enough to feel like that's demeaning, and to want to be taken seriously. in an effort to make people acknowledge them without looking down on them, they'll try just about anything. they don't have the experience to know what they're doing yet, so it doesn't always work in their favor, and that's frustrating. you can see bits and pieces of this in homestuck's characters. like with the way they try to paint themselves as an authority on something, or shit talk each other in order to emphasize their own strengths. it's a really interesting theme, because homestuck pushes some of these young characters really far in terms of how bad the things they've done can be, or how much their lived experiences have taught them that what they're doing is acceptable. they can be really self aware in some ways, and come off as really childish in others. it's hard to know what you'd do about them in real life... and your answer changes depending on your own age and perspective. it's a really cool gray area to poke around in, and homestuck is excellent at it.

wtf I like Eridan now

#when you think about it a lot eridan really was just a misguided 13 yr old

[polkadotpatterson]

*looks at your tags* oh hey! What about PolkaDot Patterson??

thanks for enabling my Dot Rambling lol

favorite thing about them: they are so full of love and once they finally start to admit it and let it show, it's beautiful

least favorite thing about them: they have a bad habit of trying to achieve No Thoughts Only Blaseball instead of actually dealing with their emotions. also the alting was by far the worst two hours of my blaseball experience until the Mechs stopped by to save the day with creative interpretations

favorite line: I just loved watching them pitch, it was always so fun. In particular I will never stop thinking about their 23-inning duel with August Sky in the Season 5 semifinals, I watched it all and it was glorious. On the lore side of things, nothing is more powerful to me than Dot finally having a moment of standing up and defying the gods after feeling helpless against them for so long, desperately clawing their way back into this world no matter what the consequences might be, because maybe once they would have just let themselves be taken but now they have so much worth staying for, and then they do get to stay but it's not easy, they have to deal with all kinds of interdimensional side effects and aren't allowed to play anymore and have to sit back and watch and feel the guilt that they weren't able to prevent Alto from coming here... but they got to stay, they fought for it and they'll always keep fighting no matter how hard it is because it's worth it and they know that now

brOTP: Dot and Workman as QPPs is everything to me. they love each other so much... The entire Patterson-Gloom family is so good. Dot and Workman and Beasley and eventually Alto too once they work through things… love them. Dot honestly just has so many good platonic relationships! They've grown very close to Morse despite their differences, they were a mentor for York before All That Stuff happened, Greer has that one-sided rivalry with them that's been leaning increasingly towards actual friendship, they eventually co-captained with Ziwa, at this point they've become pretty close to Eugenia as well, and I think they actually bonded a lot with Jaylen while they were in the Core together... basically they're starting to become friends with absolutely everyone and I think that's what they deserve

OTP: I would die on the hill of Aroace Dot but I think there are enough people up here with me that we may actually live. I have built a fortress here and I cannot be stopped

nOTP: It honestly makes me uncomfortable to see any shippy content of Dot considering that they’re widely seen as aroace by MT fans. There really isn't enough aroace rep in the world and I don't like that some people just look at a character and go “ok who should I ship them with” when platonic relationships are equally important and meaningful and Enough

random headcanon: okay I've been thinking a lot about coffee lately. Kit has a great headcanon that Dot took over the job of getting coffee for the team after Morse left, as a way of starting to bond with them all more. I think eventually this becomes Dot also getting all kinds of stuff to make coffee at the apartment just the way their friends like it when they come over to visit... and Workman's coffee preference is “anything” so I think Dot is always trying to come up with new and exciting fancy coffees for them

unpopular opinion: I'm extremely fortunate to have been a part of creating a lot of the popular Dot Lore, so I don't actually think I can answer this question the way it's intended to be? One trend that seems unfortunately a bit popular outside the Talkers, though, is people seeing Dot as just That Squiddish Star Pitcher and never bothering to look behind the illusion to the actual person underneath. They're one of the most iconic players of all time and I feel like not a lot of people actually care to find out what they're really like. Every time I see someone say “Dot doesn't have lore” I die more inside

song i associate with them: you may think I have a bunch of Dot songs in my head and though I wish I did, alas, I do not

favorite picture of them: there is so much wonderful Dot art and different designs out there and I love them all so very dearly. special shoutout to every Dot that both Joe and Wires have ever drawn, Kosmo’s art of them pitching, Bells’ art of them in the shell with York looking on from the outside, Aves’ art of little squid Dot in the sweater from the moist zine, and the art that Ang just posted of them and PDZ. but genuinely I could go on forever, I love every Dot I have ever seen

#polkadot patterson #answering moistly #kosmosxipo

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 4

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Saelhen and Looseleaf, following their recent dance conquest, get back on the road to Thunderbrush- and get themselves wrapped up in a blood feud between rival farming villages. Before that, though... something goes bump in the night.

It's the night after the wedding reception, and the party has free rooms, courtesy of Carrid Bronzebloom. Looseleaf and Oyobi remain roomies, Vayen shares a room with Orluthe, and Saelhen insists on a room of her own, as a proper noblewoman.

Also as a proper noblewoman, she searches the room for any and all places of entry or exit, and places some ball bearings in front of them. It's just the window and the one door, so... two spots.

In the night...

A pair of crit fails, on the part of whoever's sneaking into her room at night, and on Saelhen's part to notice them! Saelhen, it seems, meant to sleep with one eye open, but the eyes disagreed on which one it should be, and she dozed off something fierce.

Which means that Oyobi, trancing in the adjacent room (elves don't sleep!) is the only one to hear Vayen bang his shin on something and go "ow!" in the middle of the night. Oyobi, however, has a -1 to int, and fails to recall exactly which rooms her other party members were in.

The next morning, Saelhen notices... that the ball bearings by the door have been disturbed. Even though the door was locked, and remained locked the whole time, someone was able to get into her room and pass the DC 10 dex check to not get knocked over by the ball bearings. Apart from that, though, nothing in her room is out of place or missing. Hm...

On the road, while Looseleaf is distracted buying a quarterstaff from a traveling merchant, Saelhen and Oyobi touch base on the situation in Thieves' Cant.

They're not taking action on this just yet, so they proceed onwards. The tall grass starts to thin out and get shorter- turning to prairie, and then almost scrubland as the climate gets more arid. It's here, as day turns to evening, that they approach a two-story building at a crossroads.

Benedict I. (GM): There's small buildings in the distance on either end of this road- and further up the highway, past the two-story building is a tall black stone tower that seems to be standing in a field, completely alone. As you approach the crossroads, you can see the sign- Wheatley General. And as you approach closer, you can see the vandalism. Some sort of yellowish-white paint has been used to write "EAT SHIT, TRAITOR" across the left half of the building's exterior, and the glass windows have holes in them. Across the right side is similar vandalism, in a more brownish-yellow paint, reading "SWINDLER INSIDE". To the left of the store is a sign pointing off to the left, northwest, reading "<- Barley". And to the right of the store is a sign pointing off to the right, southeast, reading "Wheat ->".

Inside, the place is cleaner than the outside, and fairly well-stocked for a general store in the boonies. At the counter is a very tall and very tired-looking person- either an especially tall human or a very lanky goliath.

(Most of the session is interrogating this dude.)

He tells them that they have rooms for rent, and that they're open 24 hours. Also, he warns them not to visit Wheat or Barley- apparently, they've got some kind of blood feud going on, and there's a lot of hate directed his way for trying to be neutral in the conflict.

Looseleaf: "What... are they paranoid about?" Benedict I. (GM): "Each other, mostly." Looseleaf: "And wwwwwwhy are they paranoid about each other," Benedict I. (GM): "If you go down there, they're gonna interrogate you to make sure you're not sent by the other guys to kill people." "Oh, uh, the killing people." "The murders and stuff." Looseleaf: "OKAY you could have LED with that," Looseleaf says, flipping her antennae forward and backwards. Benedict I. (GM): "They keep, I don't know, killing each other, over pointless stuff." "And getting angrier and angrier about it." "S'why I left and set up here. Tired of it." "Didn't... really help, though." "As you can probably see." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Ah. One of the sad affairs where each death is the next death's cause." Saelhen lowers her eyes. "In my country, we call such things ばかげたナンセンス."

Looseleaf's not sure this adds up. She wants to know why he set up shop in a place he hates, rather than just pack up and leave. His excuse is that his little sister is still in Barley, and he needs to stay here so that she has someplace to go if things get worse for her.

Looseleaf: "Wh- why are you letting your little sister stay in a place where people are apparently regularly dying- you're painting this place up to be a warzone, that's how you're making it sound?" "Seriously, why not just, I don't know, book it for Blacksky. It's not that far a travel from here." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "You assume he can compel her to leave, Madam Looseleaf." Looseleaf: "Or, even the port town upwards the road from here. That's where we're going too; if it's inability to leave keeping you here, we could take you with us?" Benedict I. (GM):"It's... ugh. It's not that bad. Just like... I don't know, they all act like it's not happening, until it does." "Nobody will admit to killing anyone, even if they'll talk all day about how the other side deserves to die." "Too polite for it."

Saelhen declares that she'll confer with her companions on what to do about all this- but the shopkeep insists that he didn't ask them to do anything. It's not their problem, and it's better to not get involved.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Ah, of course. I forget myself in this exotic lands. No one has asked anyone to do anything. Yes, Oyobi? Vayen?" Benedict I. (GM): Vayen has no response. "It... sounds like something should be done, though," Oyobi says. "If it's a monster, I can kill it dead!" The tall guy sighs. "You're Deathseekers, aren't you?" "You're looking for a quest." "But I can't pay, so... just forget it."

Looseleaf is entirely on board with this guy's pitch- why should they get involved?

While they're deliberating, there's a mysterious thump from the back of the store. Thalath asks them to please wait while he deals with the situation- so of course they peek at what he's doing.

Thalath piles up a few armfuls of groceries, and brings them to the backdoor, where, waiting for him, sits... a wheelbarrow. Which wiggles expectantly.

Thalath, unsurprised by this ("...Still the usual."), exchanges the groceries for a sack of coin left in the wheelbarrow, which trundles away, satisfied.

Anyway, this is unremarkable, so the party continues deliberating on what to do. Looseleaf theorizes that the murders are being committed by some unknown monster preying on both towns, which would be far too dangerou-

Oyobi is super down for night-monster hunting, and votes that they interfere. Orluthe volunteers because he just wants to help people (and not because he wants to fight monsters, surely), and Saelhen wants to get involved because getting tangled up in a clan war might provide an opportunity to get rid of Vayen somehow.

Vayen votes to get involved, too.

That... doesn't bode well. But, uh, the votes are the votes! Looseleaf is determined to do this right, if they're doing it.

Looseleaf: Get a sheet of parchment out, start taking notes. "We're investigating apparently now!" is what Looseleaf says. "Now, tell me everything you know about these mysterious deaths." "The great detective Looseleaf is on the case." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Cultural studies," adds Saelhen. "This will make fascinating material for a thesis on standing intergenerational grudges." Benedict I. (GM): "Wh- oh, god. That's- studies? Don't tell me you're from the University..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: Better than deathseekers! Benedict I. (GM): "I should've known when you said "run to Blacksky" and not "run to Oyashio"..." "I mean... I guess they'll know you're out-of-towners for sure." "So you probably won't get run out on a rail." "But... you really don't want to get involved. It's just heartbreak no matter where you look."

They put the screws I mean persuasion rolls to Thalath, and manage to get some information out of him:

His sister's name is Kensa, but if they go around asking about her, they'll know it was him who put them up to it, so please don't

There've been honor killings on and off for a while, but there's been a sudden and severe uptick in killings in Barley over the past year.

Barley's victims are all found in their fields, with four evenly-spaced holes in their chests, in a diamond pattern- and sometimes the bodies go missing.

He doesn't know much about Wheat's murders ("you'd have to ask Sass", but he heard dogs were involved.

There's a new killing around once a week now- usually on the outskirts, not in the town center.

The local authority in Barley is one Malath Kanthalga, cleric of Diamode, who's huge and has four fingers on her right hand.

Looseleaf: "What are the local authority forces like? Who would usually be responsible for handling deaths like this? Is there an Ecumene in charge of this town?" Benedict I. (GM): He nods, and grimaces. "Malath Kanthalga. Cleric of Family, in Barley. You'll be able to recognize her because she's gigantic and only has four fingers on her right hand." "If it's not three, by now." "She's the one in charge of witchhunts and telling people how to live their lives."

Looseleaf puts two and two and a DC 15 Religion check together to come to a conclusion. To the Ecumene of Diamode, which puts family first, losing a child is like losing a finger from your hand. Consequently, under Diamode law: to disown a child, you legally have to cut off one of your fingers. Given that, and what Thalath said about emphatically not being a Kanthalga, it's likely he was disowned.

On their way out, they notice the wheelbarrow trundling towards that weird black tower down the road- and Looseleaf pops back in to ask Thalath about it.

Looseleaf: "What's with the ominous black tower looming over everything in the distance like an evil villain's lair in a storybook," Looseleaf belts out rapidly. Benedict I. (GM):"Wh- oh, that?" "That's just- don't go over there, either." "That's just- there's some crazy torture wizard, stay the hell away if you can help it." Looseleaf: "There's a crazy torture wizard, and he buys groceries from you?" "And... nobody's thought to pin all the mysterious deaths on the ominous crazy torture wizard with an evil tower?"

Thalath seems convinced there's no way it could be the crazy torture wizard in the spooky tower. Reasons being:

you can't torture people if they're dead

he doesn't bother anyone anymore, since people got mad at him kidnapping people and then got mad at him trying to trick people into volunteering

he hasn't been seen in at least a year

he's totally senile and couldn't possibly get away with dozens of murders without being caught

Looseleaf suggests that maybe this guy is dead, killed by one of his own creations, and that monster is responsible for the murders. Thalath doesn't think that's possible either- he's clearly still alive, right? Someone's doing magical lightshows up in that tower every night, and someone's putting sacks of coin in the wheelbarrow in exchange for groceries.

Looseleaf... makes an arcana check to remember something about arcane magic, which I mentioned in our Discord chat:

Benedict: things about the world you would know as common background knowledge: arcane magic- that is, magic built into the world by the gods as part of the system, available to anyone with sufficient training or talent- strains the body somewhat it feels tiring, like physical exertion Farn: is it exercise? Benedict not quite, is the thing unlike physical exercise, which builds up the body's muscles so that you can do things easier over time magical exercise just gives you more of a feel for magic, so that you can do more difficult things with it. the easy stuff never gets any easier- you just have more endurance magic practice is known to shorten lifespans a bit and make the body frailer- a mage needs to work out more and eat better than a non-mage to maintain the same physical fitness it's why wizards are typically squishier- it's not a game balance thing, it's a literal effect of putting in the amount of practice to be a good wizard Farn: and arcanists tend to be nerds so that's often not gonna be a thing i imagine not enough time in the day! Benedict: yep furthermore, the image of a wizard as an old man with a long white beard isn't really a thing in the popular imagination- because physical aging makes you less able to cast magic that strain magic puts on the body can cause actual damage when your body's deteriorated enough and can't handle that strain this is why Dean Variable Velocity is in a wheelchair. she was one of the most accomplished wizards in the world, with raw power that whole cities feared- but she's no longer capable of more than the simplest cantrips due to her advanced age casting big magic would literally tear her apart and has done so in the past, costing her the use of her legs that's why she's an academic administrator, now- she means to pass on her knowledge to the younger generation, who can actually make use of it

What Looseleaf realizes is: if the old man is as senile as Thalath says he is, it's pretty weird that he'd be doing big magic lightshows every night. Maybe impossible! Maybe whatever's happening up there isn't an alive old wizard doing magic!

They report back to their team about their findings.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: "There appears to be a torture wizard in the tower," she remarks. Orluthe Chokorov: "A... torture wizard?!" Looseleaf: "Okay, here's my deductions, courtesy of the great detective Looseleaf's ultimate thinking brain," Looseleaf says. "According to Thalath, there's an evil torture wizard in the tower, yes. Like, an actual, comedically evil torture wizard, which- that makes no sense?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "A torture wizard whom Sir Thalath regards as not at all a viable culprit for these incidents, no less." Looseleaf: "How has nobody come around and dealt with the torture wizard? There's a cleric of Diamode here for crying out loud, and I know that Diamode isn't exactly super big on conquering evil and saving the helpless, but surely having a torture wizard around interferes with family values in some way at least." "I bet Thalath's the real wizard or something. Thalath's a great name for an evil wizard." "And at the end, he's gonna be like, muahahaha, I fooled you all, it was me behind the whole situation, my machinations laid undetected for YEARS." "Guy really doesn't want us going to the evil wizard tower or any of the towns." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "The point Madam Looseleaf is driving at, whilst also recklessly speculating, is that we would like you to keep an eye out for anything..." "Torturous, or wizardly, while we investigate." Looseleaf: "Look, you're the one who wanted us to get into this situation involving people getting killed, and now apparently on top we also have to worry about becoming tortured by torture wizards."

So, to investigate further, they head into Barley to gather information. On the way, they noticed, by the roadside... some old rotted wood and blackened soil that indicates a building burned down there some time ago. Looseleaf reads the spirits of those burned-out foundations and finds that- while it was too long ago to get details- they burned down from a fire that burned hotter than normal fire should've, and... those burnt timbers witnesses, and sometimes caused, death. It seems like there used to be a town at this crossroads, before it split.

They arrive in Barley, and they're directed by a local farmer to the Temple of Diamode, in response to which Orluthe takes off his cap and stole- he doesn't seem to want to be recognized as a cleric of Diamode by actual Diamode clergy. There, they meet...

Malath Kanthalga, clearly a goliath, is handing out pieces of newly-forged plate armor to a queue of farmers. (That's expensive! They wouldn't be buying that stuff if they didn't need it, out here!)

She rounds on the party and gets a very good roll to intimidate them, demanding to know who they are and what they're doing there.

Looseleaf comes up with a clever angle- she wants to offer her services as an animist, to inspect the bodies of the victims and determine how they died- ostensibly proving once and for all that their hated enemy was responsible, is the angle.

Malath isn't opposed to her doing some magical forensics- she seems convinced that it was in fact the town of Wheat that's been killing the people of Barley, and expects the investigation to confirm what she already knows. She refuses to let up on the guard thing, though- safety first.

So, next time... it's time for some fantasy CSI! I've never written a murder mystery in a setting where magic is real before, so this'll be a fun challenge.

#twofaced jewel #tfj log #d&d 5e