#<- burnt out and exhausted and kinda beyond caring abt grammar and english isnt a real language anyway

[leecherish]

1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 10, 12 15, 17, 20 from the deep writer asks <3

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

hmm, right now? might be "the price of growth", it went through a lot of iterations, and i'm really satisfied with the end result! the entire fugo zine was such a nice and pleasant experience, i think i gained a lot from it <3

2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

"a brand new doomsday" is a fairly old fic by now, but it was a very mentally exhausting process to write that one. i needed to dissect my own relationship with grief pretty thoroughly, which is why it remains probably my rawest fic (even though i'm not that proud of it anymore). more recently probably "if not in this life then maybe in the next", although i would rather phrase it as me writing it as a result of being in a dark place emotionally. same with "the eyes deceive". there's a lot of unspoken parts of myself in those ones haha.

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?

oh, all of them! but if i had to pick just one, it would probably be "the eyes deceive". like i just mentioned, i wrote that after the hardest winter of my life, and it can be seen on a lot of its aspects. ofc it's still a fanfiction, not a vent post, but let's just say bruno's "i want to escape from this body... or at least make it my own" came from. a Place

6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

editing hell. i've become pretty proficient at banging out loose first, second and third drafts, but the process of making it consistent and flow well is always a lot of painful and hard work >_< i need to somehow improve myself when it comes to this, because right now, the aspect of having to edit anything over 10k just feels... literally impossible haha.

9. what's your writing process like?

that’s a difficult question to answer. it really depends on various things, such as my mental state, how much time i have, etc... but if i had to simplify and generalize it as much as possible:

get the idea for a fic

write a loose draft of what i want it to contain, maybe some scene fragments or pieces of dialogue that appeared in my head

sleep on it, sit down to refine it, continously adding new details. minimizing the research at this stage, as well as looking for the perfect synonyms. that can come at the editing phase

connect the standalone scenes one way or another. finish draft,

enter editing hell. put on a three-hour piano/post-rock/lofi hip-hop/whatever helps me focus in that moment. suffer. take breaks.

once finished, bask in the euphoria then sleep on it.

proofread it one last time then if i decide to post it, forward it to my beta and then post it to ao3. experience the greatest high of life.

idk if this is useful for anyone sgdshdg if you have any specific questions about my writing process then idk. shoot

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

oh, it’s a great outlet for various things! it helps me to express things i struggled expressing, gives me a place to put the emotions that are difficult to deal with. in other words, it’s cathartic, even if i don’t end up posting it. and most of all, it’s connecting with people. knowing that people read my fics and get something out of it, be that a smile or perhaps even a tear, it’s unimaginable and insanely flattering, not to mention getting comments or fanart! it really made me feel like i left some sort of mark on the fandom and in this world, as sappy as it sounds.

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

hmm i can write basically anywhere tbh. but i do really like having a hot drink nearby at all times!

15. How do you think your writing as improved over time?

hard to say! but i think my unsage of the language improves with every piece i write. i think i particularly improved a lot when it comes to descriptive text and metaphors, i used to be shy with those. and i think i’m better with pacing lately too, although that part is always difficult to estimate!

17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?

WHEW how could i mention just one. receiving fanart blows my mind every time, it’s like, you mean the words i wrote, projected an image into your head??? AND you drew it?? it’s bonkers!! same with people writing comments, i don’t get a lot of them (i doubt any writer my scale does), but i save all of them and occasionally reread them when i need a little pick-me-up <3 but the most memorable interactions i possibly had is when one time i would mention a fic of mine on twitter, and people would go “YOU WROTE THAT??”. it really made me feel like i have reached the people i wanted to reach, and that is such a precious feeling!

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

believe it or not, i can actually feel my writing abilities paying off whenever i’m writing assignments for school LOL. i just do the same thing as i would do with a fic, first i bang out the draft, and then continously refine it... i’m grateful for all the experience i accumulated thanks to writing, it really helps me out in these cases! but most of all, like i mentioned before, it’s the connection that i establish with it, with my friends and everyone who reads my fics. it’s a teeny-tiny community of its own! posting my fics online and having people read them makes me feel heard and understood, and most of all, accepted. sappy again i know, but i wasn’t always given these things during some of my life stages! but it was good to learn that those never last, and ultimately, all of us deserve to make their voice heard etc. cheese cheese cheese

#[booming voice] it's oversharing time #thank you for the asks <3 #my writing #<- idk feels right to put it into this tag. might change my mind abt it tho #if you see any mistakes here no you don't. #<- burnt out and exhausted and kinda beyond caring abt grammar and english isnt a real language anyway