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musashi · 1 year

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Regarding the von Karma theory: for what it's worth, I didn't agree with everything but thought it was good. Him suffering from an illness would've explain a lot of the behavior we see in-game. I don't understand why they keep calling you an apologist, though? Like, you never downplayed his actions once so that makes no sense??

i'm just obsessed with knowing why so many people are fixated on this one thing i said in passing? like in my video i spend a good long while talking about restorative justice, root causes of violence and crime, and why i personally like to dissect characters and see if i can puzzle out why they do horrible things. i wrote extensively on things i think could have contributed, how i think he got to that point, and why i think he did what he did. and then when i am like 'lol and imagine lead poisoning' it is presented, in no uncertain terms, as something a little more lighthearted and silly, because literally all it is is a headcanon that i thought about errantly one day and thought 'haha, that'd be funny and thematically beautiful, i like that' i'm not invested in it nor do i even really view it as ~the explanation~ it's literally just a headcanon i like? it exists on the same level as like, if i were to hc his favourite food or that he likes to play golf in his spare time. it is just a headcanon. that i can take or leave. i do not feel strongly about it, nor does it often come up when i am discussing manfred von karma, why i like him, why i think he did all the shit he did, etc.

and yet everyone on twitter is OBSESSED with it? and now people are MAINTAGGING it, vagueblogging me where i can see it?

like, of course i know what's actually going on here: i presented a take that was eloquently phrased and well-sourced, and it's pissing off people who prefer to discourse in 240 characters with snappy retorts, so they are focusing on a headcanon that takes up .1% of my video because it's easy to take out of context and laugh at. but i want them to try and tell me why that isn't the case. i wanna hear them try and explain this dumb shit.

even calling it a "theory" like you did in this ask is a little much for me. i don't care that much about it! it's not important and i don't think it's canon, it's literally just a headcanon i have. that's all. i wish people would stop giving it more weight than it has and obsessing over it, who the fuck cares, i just want to make posts about my silly murder blorbo in peace.

anyways, idk why people are calling me an apologist/defender either! i keep asking them to point out where i did that but no one ever answers me, it's soooo curious that!

i think people are just very uncomfortable with the idea of villains being human beings. they want them to be some unnatural other who were born innately evil, have some "abuser" disease (see: the way people use terms like narcissist and s*cio/psychopath) etc. the fact of the matter is that people who do bad things are just humans who have been pushed via a multitude of internal and external factors to their lowest and are in need of support and rehabilitation and to take AWAY those factors and/or help them heal from them.

but, as i said in my video, new-age puritans on tumblr and twitter are obsessed with "punishing" and othering. they will not acknowledge that they, too, could become violent and monstrous if given the circumstances, and they believe anyone who is so unlucky deserves to be hurt more because of it.

it's so fucking irritating to have to rehash it. i like it when manfred von karma is being a nice awkward vampire dad and giving his daughter pancakes. i also like it when he is looking like a possessed turkey vulture fucking pointing a pistol at all his problems and tasing a child for funsies. i think these things coexist, and here is how i think they coexist. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MAD AND WHY ARE THEY SO INSISTENT ON PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH? THE VIDEO IS AN HOUR LONG I DON'T THINK I COULD'VE BEEN MORE CLEAR AND NUANCED???

#wendy answers #requiesticat #wendy rambles #wendy rants

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otherworldlyoddities · 8 months

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Gordon laid on his back, breathing in the cold night air, feeling the grass underneath him. He was back in his labcoat, but it felt so wrong. It felt like his first day was a lifetime ago. What happened at Black Mesa felt almost...fake now. He felt tears dripping down his face, and he reached up to wipe them off. The stars blurred, the bright pinpricks he had thought about so much now smudged and bright and far too close.

(What have I made?)

Of course there was no answer. He was alone. That just made him cry harder. He didn't want to be alone. He had fought so hard to keep everyone safe, he couldn't be alone now...

"Are you alright?"

Gordon wiped his eyes, realizing Alyx was standing over him. He nodded to beside him. She laid down next to him, and he rested his head on her shoulder. Her arms immediately went around him.

(No.)

"I don't blame you."

"There you two are!"

Gordon looked up at Barney, gesturing for him to lay down too. His old friend did, laying shoulder to shoulder with him. Gordon felt a bit better.

(Thank you.)

"Don't mention it."

Alyx gave him a squeeze in response. Gordon felt good but...he suddenly started crying again, guilt bubbling up in him. No one stopped him from crying, but he felt two strong pairs of arms around him and he wasn't sure how he felt.

(What have I done?)

Alyx sighed.

"You changed things."

(I made nothing. Am...am I just a killing machine?)

Barney pat his shoulder.

"If you were, you wouldn't be feeling bad about it, eh?"

Gordon nodded tiredly, but he still felt...bad. Not empty, but not...good either.

(I feel...like I don't deserve all this. I feel like I just hurt people, even if I don't mean to. It hurts.)

A hush fell over the group. Alyx found her voice first.

"You did what needed to be done."

She took a shaky breath in.

"We all did."

Barney nodded, not looking at either of them.

"We just...did what everyone was too scared to do."

The three fell silent again, unable to speak as each remember exactly 'what had to be done'.

(I didn't deserve forgiveness.)

"Some of those...things used to be human..."

"I had to hurt people, I could have avoided it..."

All three cried gently, quickly abandoning trying to hide it from each other as they all held each other and cried. They cried out all the emotions they kept locked inside so it wouldn't hinder them, all the emotions they thought would be a burden to deal with, all the tears they refused to cry over the years. They cried out all their guilt and all the things they refused to think about. They all cried until they couldn't.

Barney wiped his nose with his hand.

"That was long overdue, eh?"

Alyx and Gordon chuckled just a bit, the mood lightening just a bit. No one let go of each other, just finally relaxing after everything. It was nice to be able to just watch the stars go by.

YES YES OMG THIS IS PERFECT.

Permission to maintag this? The fandom deserves to see it.

#half life

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bluemauve · 13 days

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I'm so sorry you are going through all these shit. I just wanted to ask you a genuine question because I saw your post on my feed how you find ARTHUR annoying in a Lucius ship. I found that so weird. Then I see your account is just talking badly about Harry being weak and etc etc hey, JKR technically says Voldemort can't feel love in the books idc what she says irl but you see, if you go with the canon, then we can't have a lot of things? Bellamort as much as I like the concept, canon made me hate their dynamic. I don't care about tomarrymort. I like Voldemort as a character. I like the idea of him but I don't like the execution in the book (that's why I called him one dimensional), that is why I read about him in fics. As for Harry, I feel you are very mean to him most of the times. He has a LOT of potential and that is what people like to play with, and that what JKR didn't play with and that is what made me ask you Harry who is shown to actually fight and be equal to actual death eaters (not talking about Voldemort) and won many times without any help: it's canon, just read deathly hollows : you somehow call him weak? I feel like he will wipe the floor with baby death eaters. So that was my problem with your account anyway but when I come back here to check if you have replied to me. All I see is hate comments which is horrible and horrifying. I didn't want to be mean to you anyways. And I hate that you are going through this. YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS. No one does and everyone should fuck off. It's your blog, your fucking wish. If they can't be not horrible, then they shouldn't speak. I'm so sorry, hope you have a great day and please ignore them.

it's alright, i think the sudden influx of hate was because i answered an ask about why i dislike tomarry and they reblogged it onto their account, but it doesn't bother me much.

i don't know how you found my lucius/arthur post? 😭😭 i didnt even maintag it whattt thats so funny lol. but yeah, personally, i find arthur annoying. he's so embarrassing... i just get the ick from him, it's nothing serious.

i LOVE lucius he's so cunty frr. not saying he was morally superior to arthur or anything but.. luci's my third favourite war criminal 🥰🥰

i never said harry was weak, i just said that he's not like, super powerful or anything. i don't understand why you zoomed in on me 'hating' harry, when so many other people love and cherish him. i can have a different opinion. i can find him annoying and distasteful at times, it's not a crime. yeah, sure harry could beat baby death eaters but i don't think he could beat some of the pureblood families simply because they are not afraid to use dark magic. they are ancient families. they have their roots and their traditions harry has probably never heard of. just because we see him overpowering DEs in deathly hallows doesn't mean he is super skilled in duelling. the DEs were instructed not to kill him. he is literally just fighting to survive. yes, he can be creative, yes he is smart, doesn't mean he will win every single duel.

if voldemort had allowed it, bellatrix would have slit his throat twice in deathly hallows and boom, series over, close the gates.

i'm not sure which ask you sent me and i don't remember if i thought you were being mean to me, but it's alright, it doesn't matter.

hope you have a great day <3

#anon.ask

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