#& i have many friends who have never been to a funeral. idk your late twenties are such a time of great variety in experience of your peers | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

we-are-inevitable · 3 years

Text

modern art // javid (ch. 1)

A/N: hi !! so some of you may remember an old songfic i did in march of last year, titled ‘modern art’ after the song “IDK You Yet” by Alexander 23. well, i’ve always thought that that one shot would work great as a stand alone fic, and here we are! i have ch. 1 edited and SO MUCH of it as changed- like, for example, the fic is a chapter fic now !! regardless, i hope you guys like this !!

WARNINGS: depression, anxiety, self-deprecation, past addiction, mentions of addiction, just general Bad Times- pls be mindful when reading !! it’s just very Not Happy rn ADDITIONAL INFO: all characters are in their mid-twenties in the fic. oh also this is probably important but it’s a soulmate au !!

Read On AO3!

tag list: @bound-for-santa-fe @wannabecowboypunk @shippingcannons @yahfancyclamwiththepurlinside @smallsies @deliciouspeachpirate @newsies-is-my-erster

Jack doesn't know what’s going on with himself, but he knows that he could really use his soulmate right about now.

They’ve communicated before. Never verbally, and never enough to reveal who they were. Perhaps they are both just... dealing with some unspoken fears, dealing with the worry of rejection sitting heavy in their chests. Perhaps they both like this mystery- the uncertainty that came with the notes scrawled across their bodies in a handwriting that isn’t their own.

Or perhaps they just aren’t ready to take the plunge. To grow up and face the harsh fact that, as soon as they meet, wherever and whenever that may be, a new chapter of their life will unfold. Consume them. Change anything and everything they’ve ever known or held dear.

They had been braver when they were children, that much was true. Jack remembers staying up late often, writing notes on his skin and watching in awe as the replies appeared. He remembers the giddy rush of trying to quickly wash off the ink on his wrist when they ran out of space to talk, and, oh, how they talked. There were school days when Jack would go to class exhausted, feeling like he’d been walking through quicksand for miles on end, but all of it had been worth it. The exhaustion he felt had been worth being able to talk to them until two, three, four in the morning. Sometimes he regretted it, of course, but only because it was harder for him to focus in class. Never because he was upset at them.

He could never be upset with them.

Even now, Jack remembers a lot about his soulmate. They liked music. They knew how to play the piano. They were into a few video games, even some that Jack had never played, and said that they always tried carrying a book with them wherever they went. Jack remembers that, as a younger kid, they liked Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but also liked analyzing Shakespeare and Edgar Allen Poe and a bunch of other fancy authors that Jack had never even heard of. They were intimidatingly smart, and sometimes, would carefully correct Jack’s grammar whenever he misspelled a word or something- but they were never mean about it, they were just… there. A steady presence that he could count on.

Fifteen year old Jack dreamed of finding them one day. But now, twenty-five year old Jack is losing hope.

He can’t exactly help it. For starters, he and his soulmate haven’t communicated in… well, shit, it had to be nearly a year. Maybe nine months or so, but there’s no way to tell for sure, and even then, their conversations since reaching adulthood have been dull, for lack of a better word. A few positive comments here, a ‘have a good day’ there- it’s all so mundane, and neither of them can be blamed for it. They both have busy lives- or, well, Jack does, at least. His job as a graphic designer is hard enough on its own, but the added pressure of doing freelance work and commissions on the side has been eating away at him for weeks, coupled with debilitating self-doubt and lack of motivation for… anything.

Saying that he’s overwhelmed is the understatement of the century.

There is always another design, another client, another meeting, another deadline, another sleepless night as he stares at a blank canvas and prays for a spark of inspiration from whatever God is listening. Usually his inspiration comes from the world around him- his friends, city life, even the quiet confines of his apartment, but right now... Jack is stuck. He had holed himself up in his room days ago, trying and failing to get out of bed every morning when the time came to work- and thank God that the majority of his work could be done from home. His boss was understanding, too, to an extent.

Still, though, there’s a constant heavy weight on his chest that prevents him from moving most days, and he’s lucky if he even gets up long enough to shower or eat or do literally anything aside from lie in silence and count the cracks in his ceiling.

Nothing had happened to him recently to bring this on, from what he can tell. Jack has always been the happy-go-lucky leader, the man with a plan, the guy who always knew just what to say to motivate others into doing the best thing for themselves, but when that responsibility is reflected back onto himself, Jack feels helpless. There are words waiting to be said, sketches waiting to be drawn, designs waiting to be sent to clients… yet Jack lies there, motionless in his room for three days before he even has the energy, the willpower, to pull back his curtains and allow the sunlight to shine through. There is so much he wants to do, so much he needs to do, but he can't bring himself to do any of it.

In all twenty-five years of his life, through all of the things he’s been through, the ups and downs and foster homes and graduations and birthdays and funerals and therapists and rehab facilities and whatever the fuck else life decided to throw at him, Jack has never felt so worthless, so… lonely. His closest friends are all moving on with their lives. Many have already found their soulmate, have settled down and hidden their rowdy, rambunctious pasts behind skeletons in a closet. They’d all gotten their adventures done and over with in high school and college, and most are moving onto bigger and better things in life. They have careers. Families. Some have children, others have pets, a few have an insane amount of plants to care for.

All have seemingly left Jack behind in the dust.

No one told him when to flip the switch.

No one told him when he had aged out of adventure.

Now, they would never say it, but Jack knows. He knows. Saturday hangouts and trips to the bar had been replaced by Sunday church services and playdates for the kids. Rather than hearing yelling from his living room after his friends had all been teetering just on the edge between tipsy and fucked up, Jack hears the news, and documentaries, and podcasts, and the ghosts of a past life that he still seemed to be desperately clinging on to.

Katherine had been the one to tell him that he needed to grow up, though she didn’t put it in such a blunt manner. No, she’s just.... gently urging him to find a bigger apartment, or buy matching furniture from a place that is not a thrift store, or purchase dishes that weren’t of the plastic Walmart brand. She says it was because she wants to see him in a more professional, "adulty" lifestyle, but he knows it’s really because she can see that he’s a mess.

Deep down, Jack knows she’s right. She’s always right.

He just can’t help but feel cemented in place, dreaming of the past while dreading the new future ahead of him.

Jack never asked to feel so broken for no reason. All of the hope and optimism he had felt as a teenager was gone, lost in a sea of uncertain plans and shitty jobs and bill extensions and canvases dropped onto the floor with no rhyme or reason. And, yes, maybe Jack would look dramatic to someone who didn’t know his situation, but Jack knows what dramatic feels like. Dramatic feels like watching his best friend, Charlie, belt onstage in front of a backdrop that he helped create for the school play. Dramatic feels like laughing at the top of his lungs while walking through a random gas station at two in the morning, joined by Race and Al, all while higher than a kite. Dramatic feels like driving to the outskirts of the city with Katherine, climbing onto the roof of an old building and screaming about all of their stress, their anxiety, their insecurities, just to have some form of emotional release.

Dramatic doesn’t feel like sadness. It’s not supposed to.

Not for Jack.

He had been so… so happy, as a teenager. Proud and defiant and carefree. He was the kind of guy to skate and smoke weed in Central Park until midnight and take a math test at eight in the morning the next day. He was the kid who stood on a table in the cafeteria and came out as bisexual to everyone around him, just because of a dumbass bet that he didn’t even get paid for. He was the boy who wasn’t at all good in an academic sense, but who always knew how to talk himself out of trouble, who always came up with the most ridiculous- or most believable- lies to cover his ass when he needed it, who was always the class favorite, the teacher’s pet without meaning to be.

Jack had felt on top of the world back then, but now he’s struggling to even get off of the ground. The longer time goes on, the more lost Jack feels inside his own life. He feels like something was missing, something big. Something bigger than himself.

When his mother was alive, which now felt like lifetimes ago, she would often echo this old wives’ tale about how it’s best to find your soulmate while you’re younger, just to save them- and yourself- the pain of being alone for a long time. Jack had always kind of believed her; logically, he knew it was true, but he had always told himself that it wouldn’t happen to him. That he would be fine alone, though it wouldn’t be ideal, and that he would have plenty of time for soulmates after he got out and made a name for himself.

He’s starting to think, though, that maybe she was right. Maybe Jack had waited too long to make a move, to make contact again, because now, he just feels nauseous even thinking about it.

Don’t get him wrong, he knows the negative effects of self deprecation and not taking his own mental health seriously, he’s been to rehab before, blah, blah, blah, but, fuck, how could he put his soulmate through something like this? This fucked up state of mind he has now. Jack can’t even imagine talking to Katherine about this, and Katherine had been his best friend for over a decade. He can’t just meet his soulmate now- it’s been too long, he’s too messed up, they won’t like him, they’ll hate him for not trying hard enough, and Jack will just end up alone again, wasting away in his bedroom because no one fucking cares. No one cares. He has nobody.

That’s not true. He has Medda, his mom, his savior, his impulse control, but the thought of telling her that everything is acting up again makes him want to scream. He has Tony, but Tony has Al, and Tony and Al have a kid- a sweet little five year old girl who calls Jack ‘Uncle Jackie’ and takes no shit from anyone. He has Katherine, but Katherine has her soulmate- this dude named Darcy, who Jack doesn’t have much of an opinion on because they just met, like, a month ago, and Jack hasn’t exactly been emotionally ready for a hangout session between the three of them. He also has Charlie, and Charlie has certainly seen him in worse times- like when Jack was kind of hooked on pills for the entirety their freshman year of college- but Charlie has grad school to worry about and Charlie would hate him if he bothered him with this.

Still, there are other people who would listen, probably. He could easily talk to Elmer, or Romeo, or Specs, or Jojo or Finch or Sean or a fucking therapist but that’s just it, isn’t it? If he talks, he burdens, and Jack Francisco Kelly would rather run himself into the ground than be a burden anyone.

So, he makes a vow.

He makes eye contact with his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He’s gripping onto the sink, holding on for dear life, as he stares into his own sunken eyes. He takes in his appearance. Damp, messy hair, falling down to cover his forehead. Pale skin, which isn’t normal at all. Dark circles have taken their place around his eyes, and his smile- one of his favorite things about himself- is… nonexistent.

Distantly, Jack registers himself dumping a full bottle of ibuprofen into the sink. And then, he does the same thing with the bottle of melatonin from his medicine cabinet. The valium follows. He lets the water run for a long time. It's not that he doesn't trust himself- he'd done so, so good in rehab, and he doesn't even feel urges that often anymore- but it's better safe than sorry, especially since he's like... this.

This is not the Jack Kelly he’s used to anymore. This is not the Jack Kelly he wants to be.

But this Jack Kelly is the one who vows not to reach out. The one who vows to only answer when his soulmate is ready, and maybe not even then.

He doesn’t have to wait long, though.

Not when a heart appears on the back of his hand the next morning.

It’s there when Jack wakes up, and, honestly, it almost brings Jack to tears- but not necessarily for happy reasons. Sure, Jack wants to be happy. Who wouldn’t be happy after seeing something like this? A lopsided heart drawn in red ink, right on the back of his left hand- it was the definition of a symbol, of a romantic gesture, and Jack wants so badly to write back, to strike up conversation, to draw a goddamn heart, but… he can’t.

He can’t, and that’s horrible of him, and he knows it.

Right now, though… Jack can’t even work up the courage, the energy, to call his mom.

His soulmate, whoever they are, is going to have to wait.

#if u wanna be added to my tag list just let me know !!#newsies #jack kelly #david jacobs #davey jacobs #javid #javey #newsies broadway #newsies musical #newsies fic #newsies fanfiction #newsies fanfic #livesies #toursies #jac writes #jac txt.

12 notes · View notes

canonicallyanxious · 6 years

Text

long ask meme thing???

Thanks for the tag @towonderland72 <3

O N E

1) Name: Sarah || Nickname: N/A. it’s come to my attention that there are in fact a lot of Sarah’s in this fandom though so i’m debating coining something cute to set myself apart a little. “Asian Sarah”? “vertically challenged Sarah”? “Socially Anxious Sarah”? It’s a work in progress

2) Zodiac sign: Gemini

3) Height: 5’0″ on the dot! || Orientation: i assume this means sexual orientation, in which case bi bi bi [sung to the iconic tune by NSYNC’S hit song. yes, exactly like that, that’s what my sexuality is]

4) Ethnicity: Asian, more specifically Vietnamese

5) Favourite fruit: clementines because they’re easy to peel || Favourite Skam season: Season 3 because i’m a predictable son of a bitch

6) Favourite book: I don’t really have an answer to this question so i’ll just answer with my most recent favorite, which is We Are Okay by Nina LaCour || Favourite flower: don’t really have one?? i’ve never really??? thought about it????

7) Favorite scent: minty smells i guess???

8) Favorite animal: elephants are majestic AF

9) Coffee, tea, or hot cocoa?: i don’t really drink caffeine anymore so i guess hot chocolate is the default? caffeine aside, i love all three of these but hot chocolate would still be my choice i think

10) Average hours of sleep: LOL

11) Cats or dogs?: why not both?????????

12) Favorite fictional character: asking me to choose my favorite child would be less painful tbqh

13) Dream trip: a global tour that includes exactly as many stops as needed to visit all my best internet friends in person. currently destinations include California, England, Austria, Australia, and New Zealand

14) When was your blog created?: late 2010 i wanna say but i didn’t start using it until 2011 [HAHAHA THAT WAS SEVEN YEARS AGO]

15) What do you post about? this blog is extremely multifandom but i’d say the things i post the most about currently are skam, check please, and brooklyn 99

16) Do you get asks on a regular basis? Nah

17) Aesthetic: accidental hipster trash

18) Favorite band/ artist?: two door cinema club, twenty one pilots, grizzly bear, misterwives, glass animals, the xx, etc. ec. as my eternal faves, recently i’ve also been super into brockhampton and tash sultana!

19) Fictional character I’d date: Rosa Diaz, i would have said amy santiago but her True Soulmate is Jake Peralta so

20) Hogwarts house: Slytherin!

T W O

1) Countries I’ve lived in: the united states, i guess france maybe counts but like i don’t remember this part of my life at all so maybe not actually

2) Favourite fandom: n/a they all suck

3) Languages you speak: English, Vietnamese, a spot of French

4) Favourite film of 2017: Coco, Star Wars: The Last Jedi [I’M NOT EVEN REMOTELY JOKING COME AT ME], Moonlight isn’t a 2017 film but i watched it in 2017 so it’s going on this list, i haven’t seen god’s own country but i know it’s going to be my favorite so that’s going on this list too

5) Last article you read: an article about the wonderful American government shutting down :’]]]

6) Shuffle your music library and put your first three songs here:

A Wolf in Geek’s Clothing - The Naked and Famous

Real - Years & Years

Machines Too - Funeral Suits

7) Last thing you bought online: Kindle e-books and christmas presents!

8) How would your friends describe you? idk can i take a poll how would y’all describe me??????? “short” is the only definitive answer i have lol

9) How would your enemies describe you? very loud, very annoying, hm, i’ve also been described as a smart aleck and a kiss-ass and a a very lazy and terrible leader and also an embarrassment in the past which, like, i’ll actually accept tbh that’s definitely right

10) Who would you take a bullet for?: my roommate’s hedgehog named Toph after the Avatar the last airbender character

Tagging: @call-this-a-mask, @boxesfullofthoughts, @hotchocolatenthusiast, @pronouncingitwang, @clarkeskent, and @askybison. love y’all <3

#sure i'll do a thing #??????????

5 notes · View notes

surveystodestressme · 7 years

Text

41.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 2 101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically? i don’t know... it feels good 102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most. i don’t think i have a scale from highest to lowest. i love jack, my parents, my sister, mariann, my brother 103. How many movies have you gone to see this month? a couple 104. If you could have 3 wishes…but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for? my boyfriend to [ass all of his classes, my parents to not have to worry about bills ever again, and my brother to get his life together 105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense? read, sleep, or do surveys lol

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car? a lot lol 107. Have you ever killed an animal? i hit a deer and killed it 108. Have you ever lost someone close to you? yeah 109. What do you think of cloning? it’s kind of cool honestly, i just hope they don’t try to clone humans anytime soon 110. Do you read or watch TV more often? watch tv shows definitely 111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety? it depends what those rights are. 112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive? well he isn’t anything to worry about anymore lol so it doesn’t matter 113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body? not that i remember 114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV? i’ve been on tv for my bowling league. 115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes? nope 116. Have you ever won a contest or competition? i think so 117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don’t know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)? never watched it 118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living? my mothers mum helps old people for a living, my mothers dad works at target. my dad’s parents, i honestly have no idea what they do 119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history? not that i am aware of 120. Is there anyone you trust completely? of course 121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye? a few times 122. How do you feel about women in politics? i think we need more of them for sure 123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool? indoor jacuzzi for sure 124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own? anything that has to do with outer space 125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent? i like to think so 126. Would you consider yourself to be wise? i try to be 127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance? both i think lol 128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person? yeah 129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring? that does not sound like a good idea 130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you? i don’t think i could do that 131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics? A: Nothing to kill or die for… B: Late comings with the late comin’ stretcher… C: I could make a film and make you my star… i don’t think i know any of these. 132. Were you ever with someone while they died? i mean, besides my pets no 133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star? rock star for sure 134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote? yep 135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail? uhhh not that i can think of 136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now? none that i have plans to go to 137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you’ve ever seen? big hero 6 138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving? it really depends honestly 139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished? there’s a lot 140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you? make me laugh 141. About how many emails do you get a day? How many of those emails are junk mail? How many of them are forwards? on my regular email i only get a few a day and they’re usually important 142. What’s your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site? watch youtube videos 143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy? i have no idea 144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country? i wouldn’t be able to do it 145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip? well on just a regular road trip i would take jack 146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable dependable. 147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time? i’m not single and i’m not for sure whether or not jack wants to marry me 148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them? i try not to think like that 149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out? the new Jigsaw movie 150. What is your quest? to get thru life man 151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming? one four year old screaming. i hate kids

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle? i mean, yeah lol. i’m gullible and that shit scares me 153. Who are you the most jealous of? my sister for having her life together lol 154. What is the happiest way you can start your day? waking up next to jack is always an amazing start to my day 155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world? yeah 156. Who thinks that you are offensive? i’m sure tons of people do 157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people? about cats 158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)? no 159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don’t know what it is? - 160. Do you get offended easily? sometimes

161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed? of course i would 162. Do you believe in fate or free will? free will 163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored? i don’t think i’m a boring person and i get bored often 164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain? life can change definitely 165. What changes are you afraid of? the future 166. Are you a day person or nocturnal? i’m a night person 167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)? probably a twenty one pilots cd 168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office? an office, i could never work in one. i can’t imagine how dull it is 169. What’s the coolest job you ever had? the movie theater 170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to? idk 171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress? yeah i used to but now i thin how awful it would be bc there would never be any privacy 172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do? i wouldn’t do that to a person that just sounds cruel 173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like? aries and idk honestly i don’t read up on that kind of stuff 174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you? it didn;t scare me at all 175. Are you in constant fear of death? eh not really. i don’t think about it a lot 176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life? not at all 177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen? i don’t mind either way 178. Are you a fan of any comic books? i like some of them 179. At what age did you attend your first funeral? i was pretty young but i don’t remember how old exactly 180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)? my deodorant 181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom? the internet probably or school 182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from? i never really asked until i was old enough to know 183. What is your favorite band? i don’t have one. 184. What’s the best cheesy 80’s song? i don’t know 185. What’s the best kind of movie to see on a date? something scary for sure 186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater? i prefer the front 187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building? nope 188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free? unless it’s volunteer work, i wouldn’t 189. Candles or strobe lights? candles. 190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much? i have never read the books 191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat? neither really, i don’t think much of anything 192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural? i think it’s natural 193. What do you really want to buy? a car right now 194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love? living in the street with someone i love. money is just an object and means nothing to me. as long as i am happy with the one i love that is all that matters to me 195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help? oh shit idk 196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves ‘one nation under god’? kind of 197. In what sense are you a minority? a woman i guess 198. Are you anti social? kind of 199. Do you photograph well? i think so 200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter? probably not

#bored #survey #questions #quiz

1 note · View note

gaycoruscant · 7 years

Text

91 Questions Tag

Thanks to Liv ( @sixty-seven-protons ) for tagging me to answer this mountain of random facts

THE LAST –   1. Drink: Water  2. Phone call: My friend trying to tell me I was late for a band meeting (yikes!)  3. Text message: Jon, quote: “oh” as said in reference to being decked in front of the emoji movie theater.  4. Song I listened to: “DKLA” by Troye Sivan  5. Time you cried: Idk, Thursday??? Last Wednesday????? Something like that.

HAVE YOU EVER –  6. Dated someone twice: No  7. Been cheated on: No I’ve always been a single pringle 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope  9. Lost someone special: I guess  10. Been depressed: Yeah tb to November when it was real bad  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS –  12. The yellow color of a ripe wheat field in the sunset  13. Forest green  14. Sapphire blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU –  15. Made new friends: Yeah! I went from having friends who were only friends at school to having actual people to hang out with, plus a few more  16. Fallen out of love: I’ve fallen out of crushes  17. Laughed until you cried: Yep. It was with that shittyflute Toxic video. Look it up. It will CHANGE you.  18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not really, no  19. Met someone who changed you: Hell yeah @ my friends  20. Found out who your true friends were: For the most part.

MORE –   21. Kissed someone on your facebook? No I don’t have facebook  22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? Zero, as in I have no facebook and no facebook friends  23. Do you have any pets? My dog Lucy!!!  24. Do you want to change your name? Not really anymore but there was a time where I wished I was named Tara  25. What did you do on your last birthday? Fucking band camp  26. What time did you wake up? 8 in the morning (thanks, band)  27. What were you doing at midnight? Drowning myself in the sweet sweet voice of Troye Sivan  28. Name something you can’t wait for: To hang out with my friends in a few days  29. When was the last time you saw your mother? Yesterday  30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I’d make my good ol’ Texas small town more gay-friendly  31. What are you listening to right now? Wind chimes  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? No.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves? Unwanted questions from family members.  34. Most visited site: This wonderful hellsite

SCHOOL –   35. Elementary: The good ol’ days. My gay self was gay as FUCK back then but did anyone know? No. Did anyone care? No. But I was happy with all my friends and we gossiped and played games like lava monster at recess. Then FIFTH GRADE comes along and, story time! Toxic masculinity (aka my brother) makes a stupid comment that goes “why are all your friends girls” in that stupid prepubescent boy mocking voice and my submissive childhood self gives in and decides to change to be “more like the other boys” and that is where my life went to hell.  36. Middle: OH BOY!!! Puberty + new school + new insecurities thanks to my new friend Toxic Masculinity = a very bad few years  37. High: To summarize: Fuck masculinity I’m gonna be GAY and there’s nothing you can do to stop me from being my feminine self (except force me to hide myself from homophobes)  38. College: A Concept: I go a prestigious high-end Ivy League, 3000 miles away from the homophobes I deal with daily. I get a nice boyfriend and we live a nice apartment together. We love each other very much and help each other in our studies and we support each other’s artistic endeavors. I graduate top of my class and become a well off scientist/poet and we get paid well enough to marry at age twenty-eight and pay off our student loans by the same time. Life is gay. Life is good.

ME –   39. Hair color: Dirty blond  40. Long or short hair? It’s short  41. Do you have a crush on someone? Not right now  42. What do you like about yourself? My mind (mostly). My body? Not so much  43. Piercings? Nah I’m good  44. Blood type: ???????????? Bitch I don’t know  45. Nickname: One friend called me Nowickipedia and it kind of caught on  46. Relationship status: www.pringles.com  47. Zodiac sign: Leo  48. Pronouns: Honestly I don’t care. He/him is what I’ve used most of my life (thanks, assigned gender! 🙃) but she/her is fine and they/them is ok too.  49. Favorite TV show(s): STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS & STAR WARS: REBELS (God I’m such a nerd)  50. Tattoos: No  51. Right, ambidextrous, or left-handed? Right handed, but I text and use my phone with my left hand and all my other right handed family members think I’m crazy.

FIRST –   52. Surgery: None  53. Piercing: None  54. Sport: Flag football fourth grade (see 35, subject: masculinity and a desire to “fit in”)  55. Vacation: Disneyland  56. Pair of trainers: What is this asking? First pair of physical trainers to help me pump iron??? (Actually it’s probably shoes but who calls shoes trainers??)

CURRENT –   57. Eating: Nothing  58. Drinking: Nothing  59. I’m about to: ????? No plans just sit at home all day  60. Listening to: The AC

FUTURE –   61. Waiting for: A horribly sappy romantic subplot to happen sometime in the next ten years  62. Want: To see my friends  63. Married: Hopefully  64. Career: Paleontologist? Astrobiologist? Poet? So many options I need to decide.

YOUR TYPE –   65. Hugs or kisses? Hugs, but only because I’ve never kissed anyone  66. Lips or eyes? Eyes 100000% I wrote a song and like thirty poems about them so….  67. Shorter or taller? Taller probably because I went out in public and everyone was shorter than me and I got a bunch of dysphoria surrounding that so yeah (but honestly it doesn’t matter)  68. Older or younger? I don’t care  69. Nice arms or nice stomach? Both. A nice stomach to use as a pillow and nice arms that can hold me tight.  70. Sensitive or loud? Idk  71. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship. No sex-repulsed hopeless romantic like me is settling for one night of doing it dirty.  72. Troublemaker or hesitant? Idk 73. Kissed a stranger? No way  74. Drank hard liquor? Nope nope nope alcohol is disgusting  75. Lost contact lenses/glasses? No  76. Turned someone down? Once when I was still in the closet and I found out a guy had a crush on me but my homophobic brother knew he had a crush and told me so when the boy finally got enough guts to ask me to homecoming I went into panic mode and said no (sorry!) 77. Sex on first date? Nooooooooooo way. Sex would have to be like seven months in when we’ve gotten used to chillin with each other and got past at least twelve dates.  78. Broken someone’s heart? Maybe. (See 76)  79. Had your heart broken? Oh boy yeah when I had my first crush on a boy (the crushes on girls before don’t count they were influenced by Toxic masculinity) I ended up telling him and I was Devastated™ but is that heartbreak if it’s a crush? Idk.  80. Been arrested? Nope  81. Cried when someone died? See Padme Amidala’s funeral, Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005).  82. Fallen for a friend? The only way I’ve ever crushed on someone

DO YOU BELIEVE IN –   83. Yourself? For like a few days at a time  84. Miracles? Ehh sort of  85. Love at first sight? Yes  86. Santa Claus? No  87. Kiss on first date? Wait until the fourth  88. Angels? @ my friends (mutuals = friends)

OTHER –   89. Current best friend’s name: I refuse to put just one!  90. Eye color: Blue  91. Favorite movie: Jurassic Park, Star Wars: the Complete Saga, Interstellar, Arrival, Mulan

I tag @vanillabeanniall @uswntinharmony @knightcrawlers @rogueleadxr @apple-bottom-dean @solitudeontatooine and any other mutuals I have who want to do this

#Also Troye Sivan if you're out there know that I tag you too #91 questions tag #ask game #@ my friends #@ my mutuals

4 notes · View notes

vam9ire · 7 years

Note

Can I be an ass and say all the musical asks?? If not, just the ones you really want to do.

💖 um yeah you can!!! i didn’t answer a few tho

1. A Song you’re ashamed of liking

honestly i know i have several, but i can’t remember. i’ve been listening to monster by kanye west i guess?

2. Favourite lyrics

i have so many,, so here’s a few off the top of my head

“crawl on me, sink into me, die for me, living dead girl” - living dead girl by rob zombie

“don’t believe in the up, i believe in the dirt, don’t ask me why, ask me why not, no one really knows, why they are alive, until they know what they would die for” - let’s all die - sharon needles

“i asked you why people die, you said we all had a design” - all those friendly people - funeral suits

3. Favourite band/artist

mindless self indulgence or marilyn manson

4. Top 5 Favourite songs at this moment

these are the songs i’ve been listening to constantly lately,

midway - bad bad hats, high enough - k. flay, wonderland - caravan palace, pathos - au palais, life itself - glass animals

5. Latest song that made you smile

mmm i think bad and boujee because my mom and i were in the car imitating the noises

6. An overrated band

twenty one pilots i suppose

7. An overrated song

uptown funk

8. Latest song that made you cry

simple and clean - utada hikaru rip me

9. Artist/band that saved your life

probably los campesinos!

10. If you could see any band/artist live, who would it be

msi !!

11. What song/album/band/artist always brings back memories for you

maybe probably korn because they make me think about my childhood and my dad. also tech n9ne because my mom loves him.

12. saddest song you know

hate for the island or the sea is a good place to think about the future, both by los campesinos!

13. Favourite song to sing in the shower

i don’t ever remember what i sing in the shower. mostly musical soundtracks or adore delano.

14. If you played an instrument in grade school, what was it

i have the musical inclinations of a butter knife, so i never played any instruments in school rip

15. What song would you like to have your first dance to at your wedding

i don’t plan on getting married, but

16. 5 Songs to have sex to

omg

la petite mort - violet chachki, often - the weeknd, desire - meg myers ( hucci remix ), after party - adore delano, two more minutes - jaymes young

18. You’re forced to listen to only one album for the rest of your life, what album is it

pink - msi

21. A song that’s a joke between you and your friends

panda - desiigner

22. A song to jam out to at 4am

the entire repo! soundtrack

23. A song that punches you in the gut every single time

paper scars - lovedrug has been a song that makes me so sad for years now. also heart swells/100-1 - los campesinos!

24. A song that calms you down

recently I - foreign fields !! and any TEED song, like garden

25. A song that makes you feel alive

lawn knives - born gold, marquis marq - stepdad

26. If you could get any lyrics tattooed, which would you choose

so i’ve been planning on getting “a heart of stone, rind so tough it’s crazy, that’s why they call me the avocado, baby” tattooed on me for a year now

27. What band/artist would you get your children addicted to at an early age

passion pit because they’re fun to listen to and their lyrics are neat

28. Can you play any instruments, if so, which

i tried to play the drums once rip

29. If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be

jimmy urine or twiggy ramirez in one of the older manson shows, like on the guns god and government tour.

30. CDs or Vinyls

cds!!! i love collecting cds!!!

31. 25 songs to play at your funeral

lmao i’m just gonna play the 60s batman theme and then my body is gonna be thrown into space

32. What are some song titles that you love

i just sighed. i just sighed just so you know - los campesinos!

34. Can you give me a 10 song playlist on ____

if you give me a topic i could

35. A heart wrenching song

the killing type - amanda palmer or saturn - sleeping at last

36. A band/artist you’re proud of

alaska thunderfuck

37. A song that has a lot of meaning to you

too many my dude

38. A song that reminds you of school

fuckin the cupid shuffle my dude

39. A song not sung in your native language

Dernière Danse - Indila

40. An instrumental song

the traverse town theme from kingdom hearts ddd

41. A classical song

i don’t listen to classical tbh

42. A song with no percussion

maybe i love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers?

43. Something you’ve heard performed live

antichrist superstar - marilyn manson

45. A song from a band/artist that’s from your town/city/state/province

3oh!3 is from denver i think

46. A song made suddenly precious because of a special someone

instead of a song I’m gonna say the band sleeping at last because of you 💖

47. A song made suddenly painful because of someone special

idk if it counts but jukebox hero by foreigner makes me think of my dad and i can’t listen to it or i’ll start sobbing lmao

50. A song that you would rock at karaoke

tell it to my heart - taylor dayne lmao

51. A song you can’t help but dance to

household goods - totally enormous extinct dinosaurs

53. Your 10 song stripper playlist

i only have 5 atm, dtf - adore delano, show off - violet chachki, for your entertainment - adam lambert, if u seek amy - britney spears, party monster - the weeknd

54. Favourite Disney song

mmmm something from mulan

55. A song that starts with the first letter of your name

everybody wants to rule the world - tears for fears and tormentor - skinny puppy

56. A song from an artist still alive

seven wonders - stevie nicks

57. A song from an artist who’s dead

i don’t wanna be me - type o negative or brand new lover - dead or alive

59. A song you love with a colour in the title

progress indigo - dear hunter

60. A song you love with a number in the title

3 libras - a perfect circle

61. A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

white lie - jhameel, walking backwards - leagues

62. A song that needs to be played LOUD

most msi songs, but i’ll say shut me up

63. A song that makes you think about life

tree of life - funeral suits or cake and sodomy - marilyn manson

64. 15 Songs that get stuck in your head easily

fuck,, life is a highway

65. A song that you think everyone should listen to

i eat ass - filthy frank

66. A song that makes you want to fall in love

i wanna boi - pwr bttm, not in love - crystal castles

67. A song that makes you think about ‘him/her’

cutie boots - stepdad, heart swells - los campesinos!, nobody loves me like you - low roar

also most sleeping at last songs

68. A song that you remember from your childhood

dig - mudvayne because my parents used to play it when i was younger and it would calm me down lmao

69. A song that reminds you of you

dramamine - modest mouse, rebel rebel - david bowie, king - years and years

#asks

2 notes · View notes

introisms · 5 years

Text

* wong yukhei. he/him. cismale. ╱ i am pretty sure i saw ashley ’ash’ huang at manon’s party that night. the twenty one year old is in their second year at west bridge studying film. i hear they were at manon’s party because he always went to manon’s parties or out with her/her friends. i wonder if they got the same restricted call as us. will they comply? + worn down denim jackets, messy stacks of dvd cases, bong disguised as a travel coffee mug . ◜ blue. 18+. est. she/they. ◞ ( yogi bae ex connection + extra cirriculars: track team, newspaper, gaming club )

[ P I N T E R E S T ]

bio:

good at running theyre definitely very good on the track team yeah he’s not got the longest legs in the world and also has definitely aged his lungs from smoking too much so he needs someone with his inhaler at the end of the track but thats okay you dont need to worry about that. sometimes he skips meets though has probably been threatened to be kicked off once or twice but somehow managed to keep himself on.

also good at dining and dashing. you guys want to go to mcdonalds? yeah he’s not paying and by the time you realize its either your wallet coming out youll have to catch up with him about a block away. yeah he has sticky fingers and yes he does realize thats its like morally wrong but he does try to say its morrally grey more than anything else

hes easily youre every day burn out if you need someone to give you weed hes your guy at a party hes the first one to offer up a joint and if youre really feeling like it shrooms. he doesnt do anything too hard but he likes to have fun. hes definitely very loud and obnoxious hes always the centre of attention or at least tries to be even if that means he has to do multiple keg stands and spend ten minutes in the bathroom just to go back out there. its not exactly what you would expect because he’s definitely a lot quieter in the day.

he loves movies that are so bad his extensive film collection has it all and then some seriously he has enough dvds in milk crates that he could make a whole new bed frame out of them from texas chainsaw massacre 2 to return of the living dead hes a walking film encyclopedia hes definitely the randy from scream meets much cooler marty from cabin in the woods. yeah he spouts off crazy ass theories all the time yes he listened to 40 hours of true crime podcasts and creepypastas last week and yes he submitted his film history assignment about 30 minutes late because he was too busy writing an alternate theory to the candle cove or some shit.

hes an only child with a single mother she worked her ass off for them since she had him very young and he couldnt be more grateful for the life he was given. he learned how to have fun with the little things and yes he defintiely suffers from the only child weridness but its kind of fun.

loves a good night out while he loves to party he can try and make any dumb situation fun. whether it be stealing a shopping cart and ending up with a broken arm or at the skatepark thats really on you if youre willing to follow him. honestly he lives by a if im going to die if im going to taken down it will be on my own terms by my own hands. or you know youre just going to skateboard over to the 711 get a couple slushies and maybe spray paint a cop car. LMSDLMSLM

runs a conspiracy column on the school news paper offers out advice and started a conspiracy theory that the grading system is backwards hes really just trying to convince that so he can get away with barely making it.

makes bad horror films for class hes really hoping one day he’s going to stumble on the next blair witch except its actually interesting and good and he treats them right instead of making a terrible walking simulator movie with a shit ending.

bisexual and very proud of it hes very flirty and just overconfident in what he does stupid idiot thats all i have to say about him. hes just a goof and a lot of times that shit comes off as super flirting and most of the time it actually is.

makes friendship bracelets. he will just give you one he thinks theyre really cool yeah maybe hes got some vsco girl traits whos seriously gonna clock him for that.

nintendos whore has over 3000 hours in animal crossing new leaf actually planned his own funeral when lucky moved out.

doesnt show up to class sometimes actually a lot of times yeah you know that cliche of a student skateboarding down the hallways to make it ontime from the early 2000′s movies thats him. fell asleep under the bleachers at a track meet and almost got kicked off the team and just said that he had diarrhea

makes too many jokes about jacking off doesnt even mean it most of the time has used it as an excuse to get out of hanging out with people really was just drinking a third can of monster energy drink and dipping a oreo in it to see how far to the edge he could push his body.

loves synth music and movie soundtracks has a playlist of just five hours of vaporwave

doesnt really know what hes doing usually just talks and thats it hes bad for interrupting and talking too much forgets a frozen pizza in the oven and almost got his dorm burnt down because of it.

listens to only emo music and punk music from before 2008 and says vibe check constantly about anything. vibe check

WCS

tinder date/ set ups that either led to something or didnt

good friend who hacked their instagram one night and started responding to dms just funny doesnt have to been anything crude. they do it to each other some nights like just hang out

hookups. good or bad. one night stand or on going.

party friends

they stole your muses bike and they caught them LSMDLSMDLMDSLM

they stayed up one night and tried to fully solve a cold case even went to the library so late that they got kicked out. it was a long night full of energy drinks and crazy theories. they still do this sometimes now.

crushes they can be mutual or one sided i really dont mind. like i said before ash kind of gets crushes really easily and they kind of just dissapear out of nowhere as well but like we could work something out

exes any gender is good uhhh ash probably has never been in a serious relationship other than his high school one after that he was like uuuhhhhh we just dont know anymore dudes.

snuck them into a concert with them and maybe they drank when they were too young and ended up almost in trouble with the cops because they got caught. or just generally they dine and dash together or movie hop or go and do dumb shit together.

someone who they ‘tutor’ hes dumb as shit hes not tutoring anyone but really he just stolen answer to exams for them he doesnt always ask for payment but like usually free weed or maybe buy him a pizza or some shit

been in his films before he covered them in really bad fake blood and its probably a horror comedy

idk maybe a good influence makes him eat like... idk a salad at mcdonalds instead of two boxes of 20 chicken nuggets

share his bad films with him watches movies with him and gets high they made friendship bracelets together and put each others names on them they play video games they shoot the shit and yup thats that

camp friends/childhood friends

party friends

someone who thinks hes annoying as all hell

just friends/crushes/fwb idk

a roommate??? do we do those here i need to read the housing bit again

0 notes