sozotohakai

[sozotohakai]

Also I’m like ??? about that ask reply, I’m pretty sure its not new because its familiar, so it must be an old post, but why is it there as if I posted it after months of not being here and making a single post about being elsewhere??? Tumblr are you okay????

I’ve changed my password just in case, yes.

To anyone still checking or anyone who might find this blog:

I am returning to roleplay, though I’ll be more careful to not overwhelm myself, and make sure to communicate well, so everyone has fun, I am on @goldenheartedfox now, with Allen as one of my main muses, Wei Wuxian and a DAI one too!

[sozotohakai]

Occupies Allen's bed like a kitten x3

He chuckles, knowing all too well Timcanpy is recording because that’s just too cute!

Then there’s a mischevious little grin on his face, and he grabs the covers so he can wrap Lenalee with them. Gently, of course.

Burrito Lenalee.

#crystallizecrimsonbutterfly #messages #fun time

[sozotohakai]

To anyone still checking or anyone who might find this blog:

I am returning to roleplay, though I’ll be more careful to not overwhelm myself, and make sure to communicate well, so everyone has fun, I am on @goldenheartedfox now, with Allen as one of my main muses, Wei Wuxian and a DAI one too!

#update

[sozotohakai]

Hello!

While I feel maybe some of you felt like this might come, I only seriously considered it a few days ago. I’ve come to a decision, and it is that I’ve reached a point that, for all I enjoy the idea behind tumblr rp, I just don’t find anymore the satisfaction I had before. All that I find curious to explore, I can’t find anymore a joy in trying to explore it by rp, and I easily find joy by self indulging in fanfics when the ideas I get call for me to do so.

RP has been a eight eyes page of my life, and I had times where I felt I might close it, but it was always the specific muse that I ended up not finding joy anymore. I was always able to find a new muse. But what’s happened now is that I have lost the satisfaction in the very settings of tumblr rp, and of writing those rps. For all I’ll still find the plots interesting, and I would wish to write, there is no actual calling anymore.

I came to realize there is a lot to a tumblr blog that ended up weighing on me. You maintain your blog, your pages, you feel a need to be somewhat active, for all you might keep yourself to a few partners or threads, you’ll still see, feel there’s more people, you see your dash… Before, I had no trouble with this, and I took joy in sharing, in the public aspect of tumblr rp. That’s exactly what I’m not enjoying anymore, and whether it caused it or it’s another thing that happened to me, I don’t really feel a want to rp anymore. There’s very, very few plots I am still willing to keep, and develop privately where there’s none of the expectations of a blog, and where it’s much easier for us to handle.

I can’t say with certitude I’ll never return, I’m not a “never” person. Or I’m only saying never when I say “I can never know for sure”. But as of today, and until or unless my feelings change, I am closing my rp blogs and I am quitting tumblr rp, and except those very few plots for which I already contacted the muns for, I am not rping anymore.

There was only Allen’s blog and Wei Wuxian’s blog that had remained active, and this means both of them are being closed now.

Obviously, if you wish to remain in touch, you can! Your best bet is discord, as it’s a little easier to handle than IM on tumblr.

And of course, you can still find me, just not in rp blogs. I strongly advise my fanfic blog as your go to place, as I intend for it to the place where I can speak about myself (I have a personal blog, but I intend to have it be reblogs only). Especially if you liked what you were seeing on my rp blogs, and/or my writings and/or ideas; as both the canon au for Allen’s blog and the Noah!WWX ideas will be fanfics.

If you want my AO3 directly, it’s there!

Meet me Halfway to the End if the fic for the exact canon au that is at the base of Allen’s blog, but when it’s comes to Allen’s characterization, a lot of my canon/canon au (and even au) fics remain with the portrayal you have seen me develop. As for Noah!WWX, they don’t exist yet, but I fully intend to indulge into writing for ideas based on the different verses that existed on the blog, and one or two more; I’m rather certain I’ll make a series where each fic cover a specific idea (like “what if he awakens when he’s brought back” and “what if awakens when he’s thrown in burial pounds”).

And while this does mean I’ll get more time and energy to give to fics, what I know is that this really frees me up (especially mentally) when it comes to my original writings. It would mean a lot to me to see you on my fic blog, or checking my fics, and it would mean so, so much if I see you following my writer blog, or checking/keeping an eye on my site. I don’t know if I often said it, but everything on my site is free to read, and my income is the support anyone willingly give via Patreon and/or Ko-fi.

So while it’s amazing when I do get financial support, what matters the most is for readers to find me, and for a secure network to be born. The more people that find me, and the more of those that actually find something they like, the more I can create a secure space. But for that, I can only trust in the curiosity of others, as I share about my writings.

Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been following me, who has interacted with me, if you wish to remain in touch, don’t hesitate to let me know (if we don’t have each other discord yet), if you really don’t like discord or can’t make one, you can still stay in touch on my fic’s blog IM (and inbox messages), as it’s where I’ll be present the most. And I hope I can see you all around, be it my fic blog, or my writer blog and site, or both!

#(reblogging for those that rely on dash and might not have seen) #(i'll likely wont reblog again though) #(i just want to make sure it's been mostly seen by everyone)

[sozotohakai]

An additional note I forgot all about: I will still be checking on Allen’s and Wei Wuxian’s blog for a few days, but I suspect that I’ll end up logged off at some point, so when I say feel free to stay in touch, it’s possibly even better to inbox or IM directly at my fanfic blog (chrisemrysfics.tumblr.com for copy paste and here for link).

See you around, and in any case, stay safe and I wish you the best ♥

#outofhost

[sozotohakai]

Hello!

While I feel maybe some of you felt like this might come, I only seriously considered it a few days ago. I’ve come to a decision, and it is that I’ve reached a point that, for all I enjoy the idea behind tumblr rp, I just don’t find anymore the satisfaction I had before. All that I find curious to explore, I can’t find anymore a joy in trying to explore it by rp, and I easily find joy by self indulging in fanfics when the ideas I get call for me to do so.

RP has been a eight eyes page of my life, and I had times where I felt I might close it, but it was always the specific muse that I ended up not finding joy anymore. I was always able to find a new muse. But what’s happened now is that I have lost the satisfaction in the very settings of tumblr rp, and of writing those rps. For all I’ll still find the plots interesting, and I would wish to write, there is no actual calling anymore.

I came to realize there is a lot to a tumblr blog that ended up weighing on me. You maintain your blog, your pages, you feel a need to be somewhat active, for all you might keep yourself to a few partners or threads, you’ll still see, feel there’s more people, you see your dash... Before, I had no trouble with this, and I took joy in sharing, in the public aspect of tumblr rp. That’s exactly what I’m not enjoying anymore, and whether it caused it or it’s another thing that happened to me, I don’t really feel a want to rp anymore. There’s very, very few plots I am still willing to keep, and develop privately where there’s none of the expectations of a blog, and where it’s much easier for us to handle.

I can’t say with certitude I’ll never return, I’m not a “never” person. Or I’m only saying never when I say “I can never know for sure”. But as of today, and until or unless my feelings change, I am closing my rp blogs and I am quitting tumblr rp, and except those very few plots for which I already contacted the muns for, I am not rping anymore.

There was only Allen’s blog and Wei Wuxian’s blog that had remained active, and this means both of them are being closed now.

Obviously, if you wish to remain in touch, you can! Your best bet is discord, as it’s a little easier to handle than IM on tumblr.

And of course, you can still find me, just not in rp blogs. I strongly advise my fanfic blog as your go to place, as I intend for it to the place where I can speak about myself (I have a personal blog, but I intend to have it be reblogs only). Especially if you liked what you were seeing on my rp blogs, and/or my writings and/or ideas; as both the canon au for Allen’s blog and the Noah!WWX ideas will be fanfics.

If you want my AO3 directly, it’s there!

Meet me Halfway to the End if the fic for the exact canon au that is at the base of Allen’s blog, but when it’s comes to Allen’s characterization, a lot of my canon/canon au (and even au) fics remain with the portrayal you have seen me develop. As for Noah!WWX, they don’t exist yet, but I fully intend to indulge into writing for ideas based on the different verses that existed on the blog, and one or two more; I’m rather certain I’ll make a series where each fic cover a specific idea (like “what if he awakens when he’s brought back” and “what if awakens when he’s thrown in burial pounds”).

And while this does mean I’ll get more time and energy to give to fics, what I know is that this really frees me up (especially mentally) when it comes to my original writings. It would mean a lot to me to see you on my fic blog, or checking my fics, and it would mean so, so much if I see you following my writer blog, or checking/keeping an eye on my site. I don’t know if I often said it, but everything on my site is free to read, and my income is the support anyone willingly give via Patreon and/or Ko-fi.

So while it’s amazing when I do get financial support, what matters the most is for readers to find me, and for a secure network to be born. The more people that find me, and the more of those that actually find something they like, the more I can create a secure space. But for that, I can only trust in the curiosity of others, as I share about my writings.

Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been following me, who has interacted with me, if you wish to remain in touch, don’t hesitate to let me know (if we don’t have each other discord yet), if you really don’t like discord or can’t make one, you can still stay in touch on my fic’s blog IM (and inbox messages), as it’s where I’ll be present the most. And I hope I can see you all around, be it my fic blog, or my writer blog and site, or both!

#outofhost #update

[sozotohakai]

I pity those who are anime only, sure 

- they can see Allen strip his enemy to his underwear 

- and then say he wasn’t the first not the last of his victims 

- blackmail Bak 

- punch Kanda in the forehead to snap him out of a PTSD episode 

- then become the protector of Yulma RightsTM 

- see him headbutt Tim into Cross’s skull 

but they still miss out on Allen’s most iconic moments in the manga, fanbooks and omakes like:

- he purposedly pissed off the mafia so even if one knows about him they shut up

- stole all of Cross’s stuff so he could sell them

- put Lavi in the sickbay with wasabi overdose and then pretended to worry about him

- worked in the cafeteria to work off debts and placed out a tip jar saying “if you pity me give me money”

- stripped with a big smile in a room full of crying adults, saying he doesn’t mind stripping for the extra money while they worry for his future

- HAS MATCHING PIGGY BANKS WITH TIM

- seduced a Komurin so he could send it to its death

#Headcanon #(Allen is a gremlin behind an angel) #(oh he can be a genuine angel but) #(thats what make him so much more gremlin)

[sozotohakai]

On the low side, I did hope to do more replies but my mind is going nope.

On the plus side, I’m happy I managed to write a bit!

#outofhost

[sozotohakai]

cvntagiious​:

        the man smiled widely and nodded his head     “     of course of course. no burying anyone yet     “     he says gleefully before he tucked chengqing in his belt, the instrument secure and avoiding its fall.     “     try to stay awake     “     he advised despite feeling like it was overstated. he took a few steps further back, with his front staring at the stranger before he quickly turns on his heels and speeds up his walking down the hill with agile steps. he was sure he would find a source of water soon, and he reached to his empty water container, already getting it ready for when he found it. 

       as soon as the stream came into his vision, he knelt down on the shore and dipped his container, filling it up slowly with water. only once he was sure it was filled to the brim he closed it up and stood up again, wasting no more time and making his way up towards the direction the other was.

        “      i brought you a lot. drink some and if theres any left ill use it to clean your wounds.     “     he said as soon as he saw the other within his view, but he quickly frowned and ran up to the other as he saw him cough and    .    .    .     was he trying to stand up     ?     “      what are you doing     ?      nonsense. stay down. sit down. dont move. youre going to make your condition worsen     “     he wasnt sure if the other was even trying to move, but wei wuxian was having none of it. 

Relief came briefly as it sounded like Timcanpy had not been seen, then the man was moving closer and Allen felt equally guilty and trapped. He had not meant to worry the other, and he gave him a sheepish smile, but he realized that it would be delicate to keep Timcanpy hidden.

“I...” He started, and clenched his hand, grateful that Tim knew to hide as much as possible in his palm. If he could get him in his sleeve... “I shifted too much,” He settled for admitting, which wasn’t a lie, just... not the whole truth.

When he returned to a better position, he felt Timcanpy slowly nudge into his sleeve, and he knew he had to speak, if he wanted to faint ruffle to remain unheard. He would worry later about his arm, of knowing he did need to clean his wounds, and how to escape showing his left arm.

He had a brief thought that, maybe, it would be simpler to just show it and handle whatever comes, but he had grown too used to the need of hiding.

“At least, it seems that woke me a bit,” Allen joked, which was true, but he had no doubt both of them were aware that might not last. “Just let me drink a bit, and I’ll be fine.”

At least, he could feel Tim had gone into his sleeve almost fully, only the end of his tail brushing into Allen’s palm. They would just have to hope for the man to be distracted just enough soon, so that Tim could fully return into his clothing.

#cvntagiious #Wei Wuxian #(he is so going to either have to show his left arm or Tim get seen) #(or both) #(he just cant hide forever those two XD) #(maybe he can manage to hide Tim but) #(he'll have a harder time trying to keep hidden his left arm) #(especially as he used it to protect himself x'))

[sozotohakai]

"Awhile back you said you would marry me.." The swordsman mumbled, feeling his face starting to heat up. "What if I ask you marry me right now?"

The words took a few moments to register, a light blush having formed at the reminder, only for Allen to blink as his mind processed what, exactly, Kanda had said.

What if I asked you to marry me right now?

His heart skipped a beat, the widening of his eyes and the slight parting of his lips the signs that he had recognized the very fact he was being proposed to.

Kanda wants to marry me.

The look on his face could be called nothing else than pure wonder, surprised and awe mixing before it shifted into something else, silver eyes brighter and growing misty.

One moment, he had been frozen, and the next, Allen threw himself at Kanda, arms around his chest, hugging him close, his face into Kanda’s neck.

“Yes-” Allen gasped, then breathed, body trembling lightly as tears fell when he blinked. But the familiar scent was comforting, he nuzzled closer, feeling something warm bubble in his chest and spread.

No doubt that Kanda could feel the wide smile that formed. Then he pulled back, just enough to look up, his smile so genuine, and so very soft.

“I want to marry you. I will marry you.”

#skyfullofashes #kanda #mail #crossing life #(;w;) #(to not break the mood of the reply) #(i will have you know here that CC and Nea were super silent and very attentive) #(and are now squealing) #(and Timcanpy might or might not have been recording)

[sozotohakai]

Me and @skyfullofashes discussing our ship:

Kanda would most likely caress Allen's cheek before kissing him deeply and parting ways casually like r00d

oh dear god Allen would combust but listen: its even better if Kanda sometimes caress his cheek and sometimes just go for it and also if Kanda sometimes caress his cheek but doesnt do anything else Allen can never know what to expect and everything fluster him Allen vc in background: CHRIS YOU TRAITOR me: you're welcome Allen: flustered face in his own palms, muffling his whines

Okay but that moment I realize no one has any idea about that ask I saved and need to reply to sooner or later.

Allen is whining really hard about it now.

#crossing life

[sozotohakai]

HOW I RUN MY BLOG.

SPEED: I call myself fickle rather than slow or fast. My speed is fully dependent on my energy, but also what else I might focus on. For all I might be super energized one day, I might choose to focus it elsewhere. The trick with myself is to just not force myself, and chances are, I end up having some form of regularity, as long as nothing else piles up on me. In short, unless things demand more attention or I need to rest more, I do tend to write replies at least once or twice a week, although it’s gotten rarer for me to find the energy to do more than two or three replies at once. So I’m doing replies at least once or twice a week, but depending what inspire me, some threads take longer.

REPLIES: I can do short replies, but it’s very easy for me to develop inner thoughts or details of the environment, especially as technically, there’s three NPC always with Allen: Nea, CC and Timcanpy. I don’t always do it, but often, there’s just logic in writing out what Nea, CC and/or Tim is doing or feeling, as it can affect Allen himself. I also love to leave cues for my partners, like a glimpse of Allen’s left hand or a spike of energy, things can be used, your character seeing or sensing things, or not used. I do tend to match reply too, since what you give me will give a base structure of what I can give you, and sometimes inner stuff just take more words.

STARTERS: I found myself loving to do them. I think it started when, in my efforts to feel more at ease approaching people, I would offer to do starters too, especially as I noticed people often took that offer. There’s a part of me that does like to be able to set things up, and in general, I just feel a love for writing starters, and the fact almost everyone seems to enjoy leaving it to me just keeps this cycle of enjoying it. They’re 99% of the time plotted, as I do admit I don’t really  think of starter calls. I do some opens at time, and tend to make new threads out of replies, so notes remain clean, and people can ask me to make a starter out of the idea if the starter itself doesn’t quite work. But, yes, while I don’t often do starter calls, I enjoy doing starters.

INBOX: I’m just as fickle with inbox stuff as with threads. Some inbox stuff are very easy to reply to, and tend to be replied quickly. But some will be like short thread and so I don’t necessarily have the energy to write my muse to reply to the message. I love memes, but I don’t handle well to see a meme on my blog that never got used, so I tend to remove a reblog if I didn’t get a meme. I’ve tried to leave memes and tag them, in the past, but it’s still a work in progress, to reblog memes and leave them here. This is also a big part because I’m fickle enough with everything, so for me, memes are stuff to have fun on the moment, but a day later? I probably don’t have the energy anymore for it. So it just feels too weird to keep memes up, as I mostly use them as “this is the fun I’m okay doing today!”.

SELECTIVITY: I’m both selective and not? I am open to anyone and everything, but I have preferences, so I can be open but choose to not interact, if I can feel I’m not going to have enough inspiration. I look at people rules and about and the general layout of blog, as well as take a quick look around archive to get a feel of the speed, so I always base myself on both what I feel out of the blog, the mun and the muse. As I say in my guidelines, I use follows to show interest, so if I follow you (first or back), you know I have seen your blog, and decided I could see myself interacting with you. I remain open, meaning that you can still approach me and ask for interaction, no matter the follow/mutual status between us! Sometimes I’m just uncertain rather than not interested, and it can help growing certain.

On another note, I’m currently mostly interested in MDZS, which is very ironic but I don’t think I’m the first person who had their muse not be interested in their canon. It’s partly because DGM rpc has been very quiet, I do happen to love when Allen can interact with canon muses of DGM, but I’m not actively looking for them. Meanwhile, I love so very much throwing Allen into other worlds and having people not realize the mess that will follow him eventually (because sometimes even I forget he’s literally part of the core part of a war with the whole world at stake). And MDZS my other fave fandom, ergo: mostly interested in MDZS interactions.

WISHLIST: I have a wishlist tag, which... isn’t on my tag page. That will be corrected very soon. It’s here in the meantime. But yes, I have general plot ideas, which tend to be in headcanon posts, it’s easy to see some that shows up often, but often as I can see these pop up at some point, I don’t make an actual wish out of those. Still, I’ve made a few posts out of some that really made me go “that’s a fun thing to consider” and there’s maybe more I could grab from my hcs post and make proper wishlist post. In general, you can expect I’m always curious to include Allen’s dreams/nightmares, his Innocence, Nea’s presence, CC, Timcanpy, the Ark, or people he knows from DGM.

HONEST NOTE: I’ve realized I’m not as social as I believed myself to be. I’m open, I love to chat and meet people, I adore my friends, but being social is draining to me, never recharging. Any amount of chatting can be draining to me, of course small things are way easier, but the general thing is that I need energy to interact directly with people, be it face to face or chatting online. So you will easily feel like I’m full of energy when I speak ooc with you, because I am always happy to do so, but at the same time, you’ll easily see me be fickle about ooc interactions. Chances are, I indirectly interact too, with ooc posts and my simple presence by any activity I show. There’s just no going against the natural way your energy drains and recharges, so I’ve grown to make sure everyone who interacts with me are aware that’s a thing with me. That, and the knowledge I write both as hobby and as career, so I’m simultaneously always in potential free time and potential creative time. I’m good at handling myself, I’ll know day to day what I can do or cannot do, and it’s just that others can’t really see it for themselves and can only see when I do something that is visible. I could have a very productive day, and no one knows because it’s all offline stuff. Sometimes you’ll know what I’m doing by seeing updates on my fics or my fic blog; and same thing with my original writings. I can only explain all that, both how my social energy is low and easily drained, and how my creative energy cycles between creating and recharging, and has multiple outlets. And then trust anyone that interacts with me or know me to understand all this and know I’ll be back, be it ooc or ic.

On a final note: I’m very, very bad with remembering how long I’ve talked to someone, or a thread has been replied to. My mind goes from “today” to “yesterday” to “a few days ago” to “days ago” and then just... “it’s been some time”. Today/yesterday feel like “its okay, I still have time” and after that, my mind just goes “ngggh when I can!”. Only thing that helps a bit is notification, as without them, I easily forget who I replied or didn’t reply to. To my mind, either I was the last to say something and so I’m waiting a notification, or I have a notification. Because I barely have energy for socializing, I have next to no energy to notice who I haven’t seen a notification from. Sometimes I get my butt to check on people, but I just... my mind just wants to believe people are doing okay or having their own life, and so especially if I can see them on dash, my brain just does not process who I talk or doesn’t talk to on regular basis. It’s narrowed to the notifications I have, and when I have plot to discuss, or see an ooc post. 99% of the time, if I follow you, I am totally aware of you, and I’ll see any ooc stuff, and mentally wish you the best, but I just... never process how long we have or haven’t been talking.

TAGGED BY: stolen from @shuoshuzhe​

TAGGING: Anyone who wants to!

#outofhost #(that makes a good post to link in guidelines)

[sozotohakai]

Hello!

Just a little news post because wow, I’ve poofed away!

It’s honestly a mix of things, I am indeed using firefox now, so there was like, maybe two days of getting used to a whole new settings you know? And then it was that time of the month for me, and I was also a bit overwhelmed by all the news around. My brain pretty much shut down from everything that isn’t pure relaxation, or occasional alone quiet creativity.

I’m better now! For one thing, that time of the month is finished, for another, I’m way more used to firefox. I might try to poke drafts, might be here and there, and same things with people I’m talking to, my brain shut off being social entirely, it’ll soon go back to the usual (which is being social whenever I have the energy) but yes my mind finally went “ping!!” and I came to give some news!

#outofhost

[sozotohakai]

So firefox can apparently have profiles like chrome. There’s half a chance I just. End up using firefox for tumblr (and discord). Or maybe I’ll go like “you know what I like it” and just use it now. Like some stuff I’d still use chrome (youtube, for example), and my chrome bookmarks still exist, but just. Yeah the good thing is that I realize I might as well use firefox too.

I just need to set up some profiles to have all my blogs accessible, and I’m good. Also: yeah I’m on computer writing this uwu

(Also don’t mind me, I’ve put a tag of a closed blog in the post tags because the tracking is derping which is making me twitch XD)

#outofhost #lostrecordsofwhite

[sozotohakai]

Okay so! There was a malware yes but poking around I figured out a root certificate stopped on May 30 and everything is meant to shift to new, and for example my tablet that uses chrome or firefox on computrhave no trouble, so it seems to be my computer chrome that derped. I will be waiting a day or so to see if my computer chrome stops derping, and so I might use firefox until things resolve one way or another. So basically, be it tablet or firefox, I'll be okay XD

(Tbh my main issue isnt that security thing for me, its how my computer chrome does not show the tumblr log in page properly, it feels like, the html derped? But maybe its linked to how on my computr chrome tumblr is not properly certified. But ah well, I have firefox when needed XD

#outofhost

[sozotohakai]

Okay the good news is that whatever happened to my computer, its local. The malwares I detect are always in the local of a profile. I'll be trying to deal with this and I'll keep updated, wish me luck!

#outofhost

[sozotohakai]

Good news: I eliminated malwares.

Bad news: my computer still convinced discord is unsafe and doesnt let me continue (or google chrome doesnt).

Worse, as I cleared out cache and stuff, everything got logged off. I can log back in to everything.... but tumblr because the page is all weird when I go for log in, and blogs still are marked unsafe. I'm on tablet right now btw.

The one thing I noticed is that both discord and tumblr use the same certificate provider. Sites that give me no trouble seem to have a different one.

But yeah, for now I'm only able to access this blog and discord from my tablet. I haven't logged in discord though, as I prefer limiting risks since I'm unsure if this is like, derp sites or actual troubles. 

(I've just scanned my computer again and this time it detected things. So i guess, be careful? Because there was nothing when I had not touched online but I poked tumblr and discord and it detected things again. I dont know whether its safer to log off or stay logged in with my tablet, but for the sake of communication I wont log off, and I'm pretty sure it can be more risky to log off? I'm not sure either if I should change my password now or later. Ah well, I'll be hoping its nothing drastic and just derping sites or computer.

#outofhost