sorryicantquitequeeryou

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

My 1st time feeling touch starved...

Recently I became touch starved for the first time in my 22 years of life where I have always been like: Touch is something I do because others like it.

It came on suddenly and I was very alarmed because I kinda felt like I was gonna die if I wasn't snuggly held against someone right away. It was horrible and very difficult to distract myself from and since I'd never really experienced something like that it just felt even worse. I tried hugging myself and holding my own hand because I used to do those things a lot without having this intense desire for other people's touch, but it did nothing.

Then I had the weird idea to see if there were like... partner/boyfriend/girlfriend ASMR videos on YouTube. There are! I'm not a huge fan of ASMR but I thought it'd be really nice to have a soft voice in my ear telling me everything was gonna be okay or just talking to me. ...It was very nice.

For the past week, I've now been listening to boyfriend ASMR sleep aids where there's a little talking at the beginning and then just breathing and the sound of rustling the sheets or rain. It has been AMAZING! I feel so relaxed going to sleep!

But it's SUPER weird because I hate sleeping in the same room with other people. I can never sleep well with someone in the room because I always wanna be able to wake up if they need something. I never thought that I'd find this sort of thing comforting. But it's a video, I don't have to worry about caring for a person. That's so nice. That's really telling I think. It's really difficult for me to let anyone try and care for me, and I always wanna be able to care for everyone else if they want me to. So... Listening to a person pretend to cuddle me is nice. I don't have to worry about caring for anyone and I still feel cared for without having to feel like I'm burdening them or being weak.

#sorry's thoughts #not me psychoanalyzing myself #touch starved #late night thoughts #I've found myself really deep in a bunch of guilty pleasures that I recently discovered and they've all taught me a bunch about myself #psychoanalysis #self analysis #guilty pleasure #and most of the guilty pleasures should not have me feeling guilty or ashamed #gotta talk about them in therapy but I'm so embarrassed for no reason omg #things to tell my therapist

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

The most adorable duet (27 October 2023) x

#sorry's reblogs #this made my heart feel lighter

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

abstract and modern art haters are sooo snobby like klein literally Created an entirely new pigment and then painted a canvas in a way where the brush strokes wouldn't be visible. the insinuation that people with no skill could reproduce that is so annoying because unless you are skilled at color mixing and painting you definitely couldn’t lmao

#sorry's reblogs

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

Persona Update Idea (Lore + Design)

I haven't done any art in months really, and this was going to be for a new profile pic but it's not quite right. I still love it but decided not to clean it up too much and just keep it fairly rough. New profile pic is coming soon though

Also, I'm playing around with lore for my persona because I never did that and it's super fun!

Sorry in advance for spelling and grammatical errors, I am far too lazy to go back and fix.

Lore(from the background):

Once upon a time there lived a kind, young soul who saved another. Little did the kind soul know, the one they saved was actually a demon who fed on stories. The demon was saved by melding itself with the young one's very essence. The two becoming one. Now this new soul, half demon, grew up plagued by night terrors. Which gave them two things, one a curse, the other a gift. The curse being insomnia and the gift being lucid dreaming. Alas the soul was unable to gain full control over their dream state and would still get nightmares whenever they fell ill. Even more unfortunate was that the soul became mentally and physically ill. At seemingly random moments, the soul would feel fatigued, lethargic, and bruised all over despite never having a single visible mark or sign of a tracible illness. They battled with depression, anxiety, and more. - Despite all this hardship, the soul remained mainly kind. They loved stories more than most things in life. No doubt, due to the story-eating demon's influence. The soul became someone who craved to create and consume stories in a vast variety of forms. Music, art, books, word of mouth, games, and more. They desired happiness but understood it's counterpart well. Often drawn to the dark, ominous, strange, and eerie just as much as to the sunny, pastel, cute, and fantastical. A contradiction come to life in far more ways than one. A battle against the self. If you were to ask them how they felt about themself you'd get two answers that would always be together and never alone. "I love myself," and "I hate myself." Both equally true.

#sorry's thoughts #digital art #art #creative writing #original character #persona #persona update #persona design #persona lore #finished this at 3am #fantasy character #fantasy art

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

It makes me happy when they listen

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

I get that being called adorable can feel kinda condescending or like... uncomfortable.

So hear me out... instead of calling someone adorable just say you adore them. "I adore you." vs "You're adorable."

Maybe it's just me, but I love this so much more. Also, another option: "You make my heart smile." Because that's how I feel when I feel like calling someone adorable.

#sorry's thoughts #adorable #adoration #i adore you #you make my heart smile #expressing feelings #langauge is so fun becuase all the synonyms make for different vibes #but it's also frustrating because the words could give totally different vibes to different people

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

I'm still stuck in this space and it's been like 3 months. Feels shitty :/

Turn it Off

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

Shout out to that one kid who had a crush on me in second grade and decided to make my life miserable on the field trip to the zoo by licking all the water fountains before I could get a drink. I'm blaming my habit of dehydration on you :)

#sorry's thoughts #idk why i just thought of this #i have no grudge against who this person is now but little me has a grudge against the little them #kids being kids

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

People have written a lot of touchy-feely pieces on this subject but I thought I’d get right to the heart of the matter

#sorry's reblogs #can't ever pass this one up

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

#proof i must be a feline

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

#sorry's reblogs #really uplifting #seretonin

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

So a free tool called GLAZE has been developed that allows artists to cloak their artwork so it can't be mimicked by AI art tools.

AI art bros are big mad about it.

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

[sorryicantquitequeeryou]

I want to say one more thing as a cis person who experimented with labels over the years, questioned my gender, and ended up as cis after all. The trans community did not "indoctrinate" me. I had always been asking these questions, even as a little kid before I knew trans people even existed. Over the years, trans women gave me the courage to explore the femininity I wasted my youth denying, trans men taught me that manhood is what you make of it and that nobody could tell me how to define it, and nonbinary people taught me just how limitless my possibilities were. The only parts of my upbringing that left me "confused" about gender were the conservatives who imposed a vision of gender that my friends and I could not relate to. And when I realized trans identity wasn't something I could claim after all, the community loved me all the same. I am happier, and the world is more beautiful, because of trans people. The human impulse to create and survive isn't going anywhere, and neither are trans people.