snekboisworld

[snekboisworld]

I never told my wife I had an ex-fiancee 

One thing I never told my wife is that I had a fiancee before her. It’s a long story, so buckle up.

It was the year after I graduated college. I was dating my girlfriend, Stephanie, for a couple years and things were getting serious. At the time, I had my roommate, Joey, but he was a Craigslist roommate. We didn’t know each other very well. If you asked me how I knew him aside from Craigslist, the answer is I didn’t. He wouldn’t even tell me where he grew up.

Now, no shit, on the day I was going to propose, tragedy struck. I adorned our apartment with candles and even set up a nice glass display with framed pictures of me and Steph on top. Before Steph came in, Joey walked in and tripped. He actually shattered the glass display and got some in his face. Steph came in a few minutes later as I was on the phone with 911. Fortunately, Steph is a nurse, so she was able to patch him up as the three of us went to the hospital together.

Joey would recover, but he had some issues with glass on his face. He needed some cotton gauze inside his eye, which fortunately the doctors were able to save.

Clearly, I put off my proposal for the time being, but Steph and I agreed to get married. Our engagement was hush hush. Steph’s hours were wonky so she took care of Joey when I wasn’t around. And I should’ve seen the red flags, but I ignored them. They’d hang out together with and without me. They’d be in Joey’s room and lock the door.

One day, I came home and all of Joey’s stuff was gone. He moved out. Steph wrote a note. The note said, “We fell in love and we’re leaving together. Don’t try to find us.”

I didn’t listen and I searched, but true to the note, I couldn’t find them. I’ll never know what happened.

Suffice to say,

if it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I’d have been married a long time ago.

Where did you come from, where did you go?

Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

[snekboisworld]

@onesidedradiostatic

Love dissociating for two weeks and being swept up in midterms, then whenever I open this app all I see is discourse about Vox’s stupid fucking turtle neck 😂 😭

Color is relative. The world is an illusion. Vox has shitty fashion sense. That’s what I’ve learned.

[snekboisworld]

These Media Overlord quotes are a lot of fun to make

[snekboisworld]

Hades Al x Persephone Luci (Pt 4)

Gifts

Prev

[snekboisworld]

⚠️GO S2 SPOILERS⚠️

Fallen Pt 21

Voice of God: ... to say all there is to say.

[snekboisworld]

the “in a 1000 years people will look at your skeleton and know ur birth gender” argument is so stupid because

Why are they digging up a graveyard that’s illegal

They get it wrong like 20% of the time

theyre probably all trans too

queer people tend to like bones I’ve noticed this

why would I give a shit I’m dead

EDIT

some people have made very good points so here

6. Archeologists are smart and know that biogender does not always equal gender, and they can often tell based of clothing what you prefer

7. Many trans people are apparently becoming trees, which rocks

8. Many people are also being cremated, fuck yeah

[snekboisworld]

petition for a SECOND pride month in halloween month

rb for yes

like for yes

both for double yes

[snekboisworld]

He/him pronoun bracelet broke, call that fragile masculinity

[snekboisworld]

reminder to my fellow aros,

being attached to someone ≠ being romantically attracted to them

have a good day!!

[snekboisworld]

My mom: “oh I can’t wait till you grow up and get married and have children”

Me: “Mother you do realize that the only grandkids you’re getting from me are cats.”

My mom: “Oh, you’ll change your mind! You just have to find the right person.”

Me: “Hmmmm… no. I’m going to live in a house filled with books and plants and a minimum of 21 cats.”

[snekboisworld]

"romantic intimacy is essential to developing your foundations in young adult life!1!" what if I hit u with my car.

[snekboisworld]

[snekboisworld]

[snekboisworld]

Every time someone talks about how it's our "purpose" or how we're "meant to" to reproduce, I want to tear my reproductive organs out and slam them down on the table.

#same

[snekboisworld]

“Some aros date!” Yeah well some aros will also rip your head off and dissolve you in acid but your not counting them are you

[snekboisworld]

if I could be cupid for a day I wouldn't shoot people with those fancy love arrows. no no. I'd use just regular arrows

I'm turning your relationship into a Shakespearean tragedy and you can't stop me

[snekboisworld]

My sexual, romantic, and gender identities could all be honestly summarised as "absolutely not, but maybe, in this very extremely specific way that barely makes sense to anyone"