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the feminine urge to buy yourself a $600 suit and wear it to every single event you ever go to because you're a hot bitch>>>
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I'm bored and homework sucks so here are some of my favorite quotes out of context:
"The magi story is like Jesus Coachella"
"It's either a female or Justin Bieber"
"Disney can suck it" - One of my teachers
"it's either blood or chocolate milk"
"I am testosterone"
"Her hips- HAVE YOU SEEN HER HIPS???"
"I wasn't expecting a giant bald man, I was expecting a hairy mother fucker."
“I’ve been sitting here for two hours, I’ve only written two sentences, and I don’t like either of them.” - my 8th grade ELA teacher
Do you have food? “No, I don’t. And even if I did, I would have eaten it already.”
“OH MY GOD, I’M… PISSING!”
“Do you have headphones? I love you dearly but my ADHD is ADHDing.” - also my 8th grade ELA teacher
"You could coldness not your feet?" - me
"Cows are surprisingly chill animals, given that the whole floor is food." - my INCREDIBLY bisexual pastor
"I didn't fall for you, you fucking tripped me.”
“That truck runs on toxic masculinity” - Bi pastor on the topic of Dodge Ram TRX violently swerved into our lane
“FUCKING BREATH!” “I'M TRYING, BITCH!!!” …… “TRY HARDER!”
“why do people drink milk?” “because one day somebody looked at a cows titties and said “THAT. THAT IS DELICIOUS. I WANT THAT.”” “it was probably a dude” - me, my mom, and my dad (in order of appearance)
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go check her out!
㋡🥀
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"so um I'm gonna minus Devon"
"okay cool"
"you're not gonna ask why?"
"nope, he's kind of dick sometimes, I get it"
"but he's your fiancée...?"
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