shit-i-overheard
Funny Quotes
I hear people say some weird shit. I keep track of my favorites.
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"Well at least if this career path doesn’t work out I’ll have a head start on my drug dealing."
- Braeden R.
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"Racial slurs are still slurs even if they're in another language!"
- Ben R.
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"Let's be honest, we're not known for using logic."
- Jana K.
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"Why is a four year old hanging out with you that's fuckin weird."
- Student at my school
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"We're gonna be all oiled up for this one."
- Ryan S.
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"Trying to lay off the lawsuits this year."
- Nick N.
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"Don’t worry, this is totally OSHA approved."
- Tanner A.
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"Those people don't count, they don't have souls."
- Nick N.
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Bus stranger 1 - "My butt hurts."
Bus stranger 2 - "I can massage it for you if you want."
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"These are my only working headphones. Which I stole. From the science teacher I hate."
- Stranger on the bus
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"I'm afraid of octopuses. Octopi? Actually all cephalopods."
- Julia S.
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"It's like a birthday clown, you never know if you're getting a balloon or stabbed."
- Michele T.
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"Have you seen my magic balls yet?"
- Tanner A.
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"And that's how we do baby dove abortions."
- Tanner A.
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"The great thing about hiring Mormons is that you don't need to worry about them showing up to work high or hungover."
- Nick N.
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"I think that looks good but that's also the opinion of someone who's colorblind."
- Corey M.
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"We'll jump off that bridge when we get to it."
- Nick N.
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