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shadyworldxx · 3 years

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This is not for you.

This is a post aimed at me and other people who constantly fall into guilt spirals over all the things they can’t do, and feel they should somehow magically be able to do anyway.

For me, and for the others, this is a gentle reminder:

- Posts asking for monetary donations are speaking to people who have money. Not your broke ass, still worrying how to buy food next month.

- Posts asking you to care about [extreme injustice of the day] are speaking to people who have energy to care. Not you, hanging onto your sanity by the fingernails.

And, most importantly: posts telling you that you are horrible/cheap/awful/rude/unworthy/unlikable if you don’t pay/reblog/signal boost/care? Those posts can fucking die in a fire.

TL;DR: Posts asking for shit you are not physically or mentally able to give?

THOSE POSTS ARE NOT FOR YOU.

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shadyworldxx · 4 years

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shit 😱

I can't believe this was passed unnoticed by me..

Acowar chapter 70.

[...]

And then Nesta began screaming. Not in pain. But a name. Over and over.

“CASSIAN.”

Amren reached for her, but Nesta roared, “CASSIAN!”

She scrambled to her feet, as if she’d leap into the skies.

Her body lurched, and she went down, heaving again.

A figure shot from the Illyrian ranks, spearing for us, flapping hard, red Siphons blazing—

Nesta moaned, writhing on the ground.

[...]

Cassian was halfway to us when the Cauldron’s blast hit the Illyrian forces.

I saw him scream—but heard nothing. The force of that power …

[...]

Nesta had known. She gaped up at me, terror and agony on her face, then scanned the sky for Cassian, who flapped in place, as if torn between coming for us and charging back to the scattering Illyrian and Peregryn ranks. She’d known where that blast was about to hit.

Cassian had been right in the center of it.

Or would have been, if she hadn’t called him away.

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I always read this scene thinking "omg he heard Nes calling out for him in a battlefield, that's so awesome"

But... he couldn't... Feyre has the proof, it's marked right there.. he was surrounded by a THOUSAND soldiers... he wouldn't be able to hear her... But he could feel her..

She called him through the bond without realizing it :)

I'm not okay.

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shadyworldxx · 4 years

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Y-E-S ❤️

I Love Nesta Archeron

SPOILER ALERT for Sarah J. Mass’s A Court of Thorns and Roses Trilogy.

With the newly-released title and release date of Sarah J. Mass’s Nessian spin-off, A Court of Silver Flames, I have noticed that the YA fantasy community, or at least a good enough portion of it, has begun to become very vocal about its lack of fondness for Nesta and their displeasure at her being matched with Cassian, who they believe “deserves so much better”. As the self-proclaimed number one fan of Nesta, I have an urge, that will not go unrequited, to dispel the idea that Nesta is a terrible person.

I have to admit, when I first read the series, I disliked Nesta, Elain, and their father an unfathomable amount. I relished in the idea that somewhere, later on in the series, they would each be served a mouthful of the crap they deserved. I would say, in terms of relativity, Nesta was highest on my dislike meter, Elain next, and then their father. Elain having bought Feyre the small tins of paint and Feyre’s father telling her to never come back and live out her dreams were small redemptions in their favor. I admired Nesta’s protectiveness over Elain, but disdained her for so easily having forgone attempting to protect Feyre, because, after all, she was the youngest.

After having read the series three times, and having deliciously bathed in gallons worth of putting-Nesta-and-occassionally-Elain-in-their-place, compliments of our wonderful, and even more scrumptious, winged friends: Rhys and Cass, I have come to the new conclusion about our dear Nesta. As the oldest, Nesta was able to receive the most education out of all three of the Archeron sisters. She learned valuable skills for women in society, making her a suitable match for eligible bachelors—but that was worthless when their family became poor. Nesta had no skills in surviving in a world where you had to fend for yourself. All she knew was which fork to use with salad and how to greet gentlemen. Feyre, on the other hand, had not even learned to read and write, making it easier for her to adapt to their new situation and assume the role of interim head of household while the rest of the remaining Archeron family pondered on a life Feyre had never had the chance to be a part of.

Nesta began resenting Feyre when Feyre successfully began taking care of their family. Nesta was being showed-up by a fourteen year old girl that couldn’t even read, and all Nesta had succeeded at doing was mope around and wait to die. Nesta was ashamed of herself for this, blamed Feyre for her shame, and, in turn, wanted to make Feyre feel it as well—hence, abusing Feyre, I do not excuse it, but I don’t know when the book community decided to cancel characters for being terrible in the past and GROWING to become better people. Nesta also never looked after Feyre like you would hope an older sister would do for their younger sibling because Nesta didn’t feel that Feyre needed taking care of. Feyre could hunt, make money, make food, and anything she set her mind to—she didn’t need Nesta for anything. Nesta took this as a jab, feeling that if Feyre thought she was so good that she could do everything for herself, why should Nesta even lift a finger? Feyre was doing it all and seemingly handling it perfectly fine. Because of this, Nesta preferred Elain to Feyre; for one, Elain needed guidance and someone to follow, which appealed to Nesta’s superiority complex; secondly, Nesta took care of Elain as she did because Elain gave her a purpose, to find someone for Elain to marry off to and care for her in the meanwhile.

Later on in the series, when Feyre shows up to their home as Fae and with part of the Inner Circle, Nesta feels a whirlwind of emotions, which makes her lock up even more than she always did. Nesta is scared of letting people see how weak and frail she is and how she has no real purpose in this world; and she is especially wary of letting Feyre see it because, even though she always resented Feyre, she liked that Feyre admired her for her steely exterior and unbendable will. For one, Nesta was shocked out of her mind because Feyre was Fae, something that all humans south of The Wall were taught to fear; Another thing Nesta felt with Feyre coming back into her and Elain’s life was fear. Nesta feared that Feyre was going to disrupt everything Nesta had achieved while Feyre was gone: getting Elain engaged to Graysen. With Feyre gone and their father on his secret voyage, Nesta was finally the one in charge, the dependable one, the one protecting their family—even if that was only Elain—and Feyre was not only throwing off the balance, but threatening to destroy it altogether.

After having felt like we, the readers, had gone hand-in-hand with Feyre through everything, from the trials Under the Mountain to her neglect by Tamlin, we were angry and enraged that Nesta had the audacity to be so rude to Feyre, who had done absolutely nothing to Nesta all the months she was gone. For heaven’s sake, Feyre hadn’t even made contact with Nesta up until this moment. But, we have to understand, Nesta uses her anger to keep people out and prevent them from seeing how insurmountably weak and riddled with dark emotion she is. Feyre seems to have the world figured out: a mate, a close group of friends, wealth beyond imagination, and a beautiful home; and Nesta is upset that Feyre would want to take away the little her and Elain do have for, what she believes, is Fae business.

After having realized all of this, I loved Nesta with my whole heart—the most out of the whole Inner Circle, Az coming in close, close second. She reminded me of myself: flawed, jealous, wrathful, prideful, and resentful. Feyre seems to be some kind of unnatural super-being—ignoring the fact that she actually is for the sake of my argument—able to overcome everything in her way, making me want to be like her and making me resent the parts of myself that she overcame within herself. Nesta is Sarah J. Mass’s way of letting us know, we can be powerful, strong, courageous women that surprise ourselves with our ability to do anything we set our minds to, as well as being flawed, broken, and distant. We do not have to be Elains: so kind that an other-worldly Cauldron gifts us power out of its sheer amazement at how lovely we are inside and out. We can be ferocious and take power for ourselves, just as Nesta had ripped power from the Cauldron with her teeth as repayment for making her and Elain undergo what they did. Nesta is devastatingly beautiful, graceful, collected, cool, intelligent, determined, curious, wrathful, prideful, resentful, and most of all, humiliated with herself for not being the strong person she wishes she could be. I love Nesta so, so much. I wish her all the luck and happiness in the world.

And, last but not least, something to remind everyone of. In A Court of Frost and Starlight, Nesta behaves outrageously—but this is her way of trying to cope, trying to get some sort of feeling back after having been turned Fae. Her transformation had occurred during the chaos of the battle to save humans from Hybern, and so there was no time for her to take for herself and understand what had been done to her. Once the adrenaline of battle and victory had faded, she was left with a hole within herself in a foreign body, leading an immortal life with an even more foreign power within her. Feyre also suffered from post-traumatic disorder, but in a different way—as all people go through trauma uniquely and individually. Nesta does not want to admit how broken, how weak, how confused she is, and all the Inner Circle wants to do is what they think will make her happy—but they don’t get that she can’t even feel. Personally, I find that everyone, except for Cass and Az, seems to have their own opinion of her behavior without really trying to understand why it’s happening—especially Feyre. I think Feyre has always felt responsible for the well-being of her sisters, and so she does this the most. She has never truly understood Nesta, why she’s so closed off, why she’s so distant, and it hurts her as well, because Nesta is the only sort of mother figure—a strange one I know, but she was the oldest, wisest woman in her life for a long time—Feyre had, as their mother was basically absent and then died. Feyre is also young, so we have to understand that she does not truly understand how trauma can be different for each person, and so she tries to solve this by assuming that Nesta’s trauma may be similar in some way to that of what she went through in Under-the-Mountain. Feyre isn’t doing anything wrong, it’s just a younger sister trying to make her older sister as happy as she is—think Anna with Elsa. Also, Feyre is confused because she would have thought that the beauty and power of the Fae realm would have made Nesta feel better about being Changed, but, as I will dive more in depth below, the circumstances surrounding their views on being Fae are completely different, and frankly opposite for Feyre and Elain/Nesta. Feyre’s seeming misunderstanding and attempts at helping Nesta infuriate Nesta because she feels like some broken doll her sister wants to sew up new so that she can look pretty for the rest of them.

I also want to add that being Fae means completely different things for each of the Archeron sisters. Feyre loves being Fae, and I think it’s because she has associated it with the insurmountable happiness that has been brought into her life after she had Changed: she found Rhys, became strong enough to defend herself and anyone she cared about, was able to paint whenever, whatever, and however she wanted, found a family that truly supported her and loved her and required nothing of her, and was finally able to dream of a future that was only for her, not for her sisters or father. Elain hates being Fae, or at least hated it at first but seems to be adapting to it, because it took away the future she had always dreamed of. While Feyre never really had the chance to dream of anything for herself, Elain did—because, she’s sweet and I also love her, she really didn’t lift a finger until she shoved Az’s knife into the King of Hybern’s neck. Elain was raised in a society where domesticity are the best characteristics of a woman, and it is what she should strive for. She strived to be a loving wife, with a beautiful home to decorate, to have parties and socialize with everyone, and to be the sweet angel her husband came to after a long day’s work. She had that, and being Fae took that away because her fiancé hates the Fae. The man she thought would love her no matter what she was or looked like, hated her. I mean, if that happened to any of us, we’d all have been destroyed from within: she trusted this man with her heart, she trusted that he would always love and care for her—and for her to trust men was difficult because she had trusted her father to always look after her, but he failed her—and then he said he hated her for the abomination she was, for something she couldn’t control. Being Fae took away Elain’s dreams, and so it is not all the pretty, supernatural stuff that we, the readers, would love to be a part of—because, remember that the series was written in first-person from Feyre’s point of view, so obviously we’ll have some bias towards being Fae and her beliefs. Nesta hates being Fae. Nesta demands control over her life, she demands being the one in charge of it. If she’s gonna die, it’ll be because she said so; if she’s gonna eat, it’s because she said so. She will not let anyone or anything control who she is or how she lives her life, and then she was forced to be immortal. Imagine, feeling so lost, so insurmountably despairing, in an immortal body. While she was mortal she could at least wait for death to take her away from the tortures of being poor, cold, starving, and out of control, at least death was something she had decided on accepting, not forced upon her—but as a Fae, she would have to wait hundreds to even thousands of years for merciful death to take her away from all these feelings, emotions, and general environments that she has absolutely no control of and feels she could never truly be a part of. I have not ever been depressed or suffered from PTSD, but from what I have learned, I have heard that it feels like a never ending hole you fall into, where you are consumed by darkness and there is nothing else you can see, and anywhere you are within that hole, you are alone and no one can reach you. Imagine that, but feeling like you will feel that way for the rest of your immortal life.

Last, last thing: Nesta and Cassian are mates. If she had an instinct within her to call Cass from battle just in time to save him from the Cauldron; if her willingness to sacrifice her life so she could die with him because she could not live without him, didn’t convince you of their status as mates, I *clap* do *clap* not *clap* know *clap* what *clap* will.

Anyways, thank you for reaching this point of my fanatic rant over Nesta.

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shadyworldxx · 4 years

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NEVER

Will I ever get over this fucking scene?

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shadyworldxx · 4 years

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truer words have never been spoken!

i have a spot soft for witch hunters falling in love with a witch

#witches #witchhunters #loureid #serpentanddove #shelbymahurin #sixofcrows #leighbardugo #ninaxmatthias

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shadyworldxx · 4 years

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Harvey Reginald Specter is the best man to ever walk this heart and you can’t fight me on this 🥺🥺 he is to be protected and cherished forever and ever ❤️

#suits #harveyreginaldspecter #harveyspecter #darvey #harveyandmike #harveyxmike #pearsonspecter #suitsnetflix #suitss3 #suitsseason3

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shadyworldxx · 5 years

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The Hand, The Eye and The Heart - Review

The world itself is exactly what we can expect from a story like this one. It is a powerful empire set in the past with misogynist rules and a lack of fresh ideas and thoughts. It is without a doubt full of adventure and danger. Its atmosphere is perfect for the story and I quite liked the elements of it that helped put together the story. The plot! It was amazing and I was not expecting to like it so much! It was good, not phenomenal or something I'll be raving about for days but it was interesting. A plot I already knew from Mulan but with a twist of its own. It is the Mulan story the LGBT+ community has been waiting for. The story I've needed and didn't even know. I feel seen and represented within this Universe that is fantasy. Our main character is a non-binary bisexual. Her love interest is pansexual. Zhi is non-binary. He\She is not female or male. He\She is something else. Before this book, I had never understood what that meant exactly and how someone could simply not be male or female. This book definitely opened my eyes. Seeing Zhi's struggle to understand who he\she is and where he\she fits made me realize what that was like. I had never read a book with a non-binary character before and I'm glad I read this one. Wu Jiang almost forgot about him. At first, I was expecting and liking his attentions towards Zhi (kind of reminds me of Tamlin from ACOTAR now that I think of it) and I wanted nothing but to see her fall for him. But as I read on I started to feel a little irritated with it and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. And then I knew. He was courting her without trying to get to know her. They didn't share a single conversation or intimate moment. I try to dismiss it because it was a book and maybe they would share something later on or he would show knowledge of her possessed only by observing. But then Zhi realized that he saw 'her' as nothing more than a fantasy, an object so precious and rare he had to have it. And I knew. I liked how the characters connected with each other and how each one was very much its own self and how they were not similar between them... sometimes an author will be so used to a certain type of characters or more focused on their role in the story that character's personality will lack. But not in this book! I loved the characters! Normally when I read a book, the most important aspect for me are the characters and this book definitely made me happy on that front! There aren't a lot of ships in this book, I'm used to being tons of ships in fantasy books! Romance doesn't take a very central role in the story and that was refreshing to read (although I do love me some romance). I think that the ships we got are well constructed and believable. First we get Zhi and Wu Jiang (after he finds out Zhi's not a boy) which at first seems cute but in reality, he sees Zhi as no more than a trophy, a wife and a mythical being he needs to have. And then we have Yang Jie and Zhi... which is a whole other story! I mean... wow, I was NOT expecting that! Amazing! And throughout the whole book not once do they make a big deal of people liking same-sex people. Like no one bothered if a boy liked a boy or a girl liked a girl. Fantastic! This is the type of society I want to live in... this is what I hope for the future. I want to give it 5 stars but it wasn't a 5 stars read. I want to give it 5 stars for the characters and the relationships, not the plot itself. It was good I loved it, but the 'human' aspect of the story is what drew me. So I ended up giving it like 4.5\4.75 stars out of 5. Pretty good I would say! For me, the strongest point was without a doubt the characters and all the LGBT+ representation. I like the way this story gives power to women. The world itself is against it and puts women in a position of subordinates but the story defies that role. We have a woman emperor. A woman legend. A woman warrior. Woman power. The weakest point for me was the end... I feel that it was a little rushed and that we could've had a few more chapters to see it end properly and in its own time. It was good nonetheless but a little too fast! I totally recommend this book! I was not expecting to like it so much but more than that what really hooked me was how Zhi's non-binary gender was explained and how it opened my eyes and made me realize what it really was.

#thehandtheeyeandtheheart #zoemarriott #mulanretelling #mulan #lgbtbook #nonbinarycharacter #bookreview #booklr #review

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shadyworldxx · 5 years

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❤️❤️

Carla y Samuel son el ship que nunca nadie pidio y no sabia que necesitaba y sin embargo acá estoy, shippeando fuerte porque soy debil, pero es que son hermosos.

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shadyworldxx · 5 years

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