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High Horse by Kacey Musgraves
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happy disables selfie night from ya boi who’s mentally ill and constantly in pain
fighting this shit everyday, (especially today). ily, you’re all so beautiful.
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I am just sad and not in the mood to take a selfie today so I’m using these old ones!!! lol!
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Haven’t been on tumblr in a while and i heard it’s selfie night.
I haven’t made a post here in a while or been super active on here/twitter is because of my mental state due to my health issues.
On Thursday October 11th, i will be having total hip replacement surgery.
I had my first hip surgery in 2009, one again to remove the screws from that one, and one just in April 2018.
I’ll try to keep it short but it’s been a long road. I was supposed to start nursing school in August but had to defer due to my surgery.
This comes after having a chronic illness for almost 6 years that i was almost in remission with and able to go to school, work, and had been doing well (3 years since suicide attempt, 2 years self harm free this year)!
Just another road bump i suppose…
I just turned 22 (!!!) on October 3rd and am hoping this is the year life starts finally looking up for me now that my hip issue seems to be coming to an end.
(Maybe one day i’ll write out a whole life story - it’s been a rough one. Chronic illness, depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, surgeries, emotional abuse, yada yada)
I am extremely anxious for the surgery and have been feeling awful for weeks now because of it.
Maybe @taylorswift will see this and wish me luck?
Anyways, you all are so beautiful and i am so lucky to be a part of this lovely fandom. I’m not super active in it but adore you all.
(Would love to make fellow Spoonie friends btw!)(Also i’m bi 💙💜💖)
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some gross selfies for ya
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I’ve been pretty open and vocal about depression and anxiety. I have suffered from both since I was 13 years old. Along with the depression came anorexia and bulimia. While I still fight against my depression and anxiety every day, I have been in recovery/recovered from my EDs for 8 years.
I haven’t talked very openly about my “invisible disability” of POTs, Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome. In simple terms, I don’t have enough blood volume or blood pressure to keep the blood in my body properly flowing and reaching every part it needs too. The results are exhaustion 24/7, tachycardia, almost passing out every time I stand up and constant headaches along with weird digestion issues and constantly cold feet and hands. It is something that I struggle with every day and there is no cure.
This is my first time participating in one of @swiftiesofcolor Selfie nights
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I took two selfies with my most bisexual shirt.
WARNING LONG EMOTIONAL POST AHEAD: Many of you know I’m bisexual and PROUD. But it’s finally time for me to be completely open about my mental state. Recently my psych and I came to the conclusion that I am bipolar, and it seems to me this is accurate. I’m not gonna lie I’m facing many issues with medication, rapid mood swings that can completely ruin my day and sometimes relationships with people etc. But the hardest was this: People have told me I shouldn’t go into politics because of my mood switches and that I shouldn’t pursue a career as a historian because my bipolar disorder will influence my source-research. I don’t listen to them and I hope I can prove them wrong. Taylor’s post gave me courage and hope that for as long as I want good for ALL people and give my all to make society equal for everyone my bipolar disease will not control me.
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I’m Ashley and I have depression and anxiety and tbh like 20 mins ago I just told my alocoholic father to stop coming around anymore since he only does it every 2 months for 5 mins and growing up he wasn’t always there. It got heated and I’m upset now. I hope everyone else is doing okay tonight 💓
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Do you ever wanna stand in front of a big room full of people who made you feel like an ugly failure whose life wasn’t worth living and tell them they didn’t win bc…same
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