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saltedslugspine · 5 months
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i work at a dining hall at my college and i recently became a supervisor. how did i utilize my newfound responsibility? by controlling the playlist that plays on the overhead and queuing a bunch of ofmd soundtrack songs.
the goal was for people to be like "dang this is a BANGER" and shazam it, and be introduced to *culture*
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saltedslugspine · 5 months
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i went on tik tok awhile ago and liked a bunch of izzy hater comments made in early 2022 so they would get a notification and be reminded of their past
im funny??
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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south park cry log for main four boys - cartman
aaaaaand as we all suspected, in first place is cartman.
why he's crying:
pinkeye: in front of kenny’s grave 
chef aid: chef gets taken away AND there’s no more pecan pie
cartman’s silly hate crime 4000: wanting his mom in prison after romper stomper wouldn’t tell him how to break out
cartmanland: ended up losing his theme park
kenny dies: outside a dying kenny’s hospital door, on the stand trying to convince government to unban stem cell research (2x)
it’s christmas time in canada: turned away by the prime minister and he didn’t get any christmas presents 
the death of eric cartman: thought he died (cried multiple times throughout episode, 3x?)
the return of chef: in the “flashback” not wanting chef to leave twice
imaginationland ii: trying to revive kyle
major boobage: emotional and taking in cats to hide in his attic
breast cancer show ever: annihilated by wendy in the fight
magaritaville: recounting a dream where a video game melted in his hands
pee: emotionally singing a song about minorities in water parks
201: learning he’s half ginger
poor and stupid: he can’t achieve his dream of being a nascar driver
it’s a jersey thing: kyle pushed him against a tree and threatened him
humancentipad: not allowed to get an ipad/in the hospital after being struck by lightning (2x)
1%: his stuffed animal, rumperstumpkin is killed
i should have never gone zip-lining: during the live action reenactment stranded on the boat
cartman finds love: nicole and tolkien broke up
let’s go, let’s gov: no one cares that he infiltrated the nsa
safe space: made fun of for weight
white people renovating houses: heidi is allegedly mentally abusive to him
doubling down: calling heidi apologizing, during montage at park and outside window, outside tolkien's house (4x in total)
no one got cereal: watching satan die
board girls: in office about how girls taking over everything
streaming wars part 1: begging his mom to get breast implants
dickinbaus: being forced to go back to his old house
total amount of crying: 35 times
as always, i am NOT counting fake or happy crying but if i missed anything, comment and i'll see if it fits the criteria! thanks for the love on this series!
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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south park cry log for four main boys - kyle
in second place, we have kyle!!
why he's crying:
chef’s chocolate salty balls: mr. hankey died, crying on and off again. 
korn’s groovy pirate mystery: doesn’t want his dead grandma to walk the earth in limbo after they dug her up
the wacky molestation adventure: writing the letter to castro pleading him to free the cubans
cartmanland: he has a hemorrhoid and cartman got a million dollars and owns a theme park
kenny dies: kenny's dying, hugging cartman outside kenny’s room 
it’s christmas in canada: denied by the prime minister and he’ll never see ike again
free willzyx: saying goodbye to the whale
cartoon wars part I: crashing in the middle of nowhere and failing to stop cartman
the china problem: dealing with the fallout of indiana jones movie, (4x times crying)
sexual healing: fighting with butters at kenny’s funeral for being a sex addict
you have 0 friends: he has no facebook friends and his farm is shrinking
crack baby athletic association: crack babies on commercials
i should have never gone zip lining: while stranded on the boat during the live reenactment.
ginger cow: talking to mr mackey about cartman/after being confronted by stan (2x)
skank hunt: after they destroyed cartman's stuff for no reason
no one got cereal: watching satan die
help, my teenager hates me: saying he just wants to shoot his friends while talking with his dad
total amount of crying: 21 times
i am NOT counting fake/happy crying. however, if i missed any, please comment and i'll see if it fits the criteria.
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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cry counts for four main boys - stan
doing south park cry counts for four main boys, in third place, we have stan!!
why he’s crying:
1. an elephant makes love to a pig: doesn’t want to get in trouble for wrecked house
2. cherokee hair tampons: on the sidewalk, not wanting kyle to die which pisses kenny off
3. kenny dies: being told kenny is gonna die at school, leaving the hospital in tears (2x)
4. it’s christmas in canada: turned away by the prime minister because he didn’t get a christmas adventure
5. preschool: begging shelley for help since he doesn’t want trent boyett to hurt him
6. the china problem: dealing with the fallout of indiana jones movie (crying 3x)
7. ass burgers: depressed as fuck in mr mackey’s office
8. butterballs: mocked by anti bullying president in the bathroom
9. i should have never gone ziplining: stranded on the boat in the live action reenactment
10. black friday: emotionally explaining he wants a ps4 rather than an xbox
11. pandemic special: reached his breaking point at build a bear, just wanting everything to go back to normal
total amount of crying: 12 times
psa: i am NOT counting fake or happy crying but if i missed anything, just comment and i’ll add it in if it fits the criteria
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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cry counts for four main boys - kenny
i did a south park cry log for my third rewatch with our main four (yes ik i am sick in the head) so here it is. in last place, with the least amount of crying, kenny mccormick.
why he's crying:
it’s christmas in canada: turned away by the prime minister of canada
the death of eric cartman: cartman ate the skin off of every single piece of kfc chicken
the china problem: dealing with the fallout of indiana jones movie (cried 2x)
skank hunt: an unknown girl broke up with him
vaccination special: kyle said that no one cared about the broship
total amount of crying: 6 times
psa: i am NOT counting fake or happy crying but otherwise, if you think i missed any, feel free to comment and i'll add if it fits the criteria.
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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south park single episode gags - season 26
and so this series comes to an end!!! (for now)
e1: cupid ye (cartman) needs to take his meds
e2: “dripping in drip”/victim at the end of everyone’s personal brand
e3: toilet paper companies control america
e4: chat gpt detector is old guy with a bird
e5: youth and their mental health days
e6: mr garrison can’t stop rallying
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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season 25 single episode gags - south park
e1: matt damon commercial where everyone lost their money/“what is this, nazi germany???”
e2: token is tolkien token is tolkien
e3: “chitty people”/city people sayings “macbook” “tesla” “bottled water” real estate people photos
e4: melancholy the horse pervert
e5: “bruh”/cartman’s teenager constantly in the bathroom masturbating
e6: butters pinching people
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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south park single episode gags - season 24
- pandemic special: death riding on a tricycle/build a bear obsession/chin diaper
- vaccination special: walgreens as the new “club” with a long line and bouncer/kenny divorce schedule
- post covid: “here in the future…” “we KNOW”/nagging alexa
- post covid; return of covid: clyde’s “fuck yes”/japanese woman on billboard
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saltedslugspine · 7 months
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south park single episode gags - season 23
e1: being fine with locking up hispanic kids but not jewish ones because of certain history
e2: stan’s heavy death metal singing
e3: cartman squealing like a pig running from his shots/“artistic” vs “autistic”
e4: cartman and butters singing about lunch/ “i am a goo man.”
e5: shelly’s “marijuana problem”
e6: “bien gracias, y tu?”
e7: heather’s constant heckling of strong woman
e8: “the spice melange”
e9: cable guys never show up on time 
e10: no one can pass the chain and rope to get to the liquor
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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bree is a lesbian with SEVERE comphet from all the media she consumed before leaving the basement
deal with it.
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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just a little something about chase
i feel like everyone forgets that chase davenport is NOT really a self-centered cocky asshole that he seems to portray himself as, especially in later seasons. he is constantly reminded by his siblings that he isn't, and will never be good enough as them. people don't like him or respect him at school or the island. girls don't find him attractive normally (despite canonical evidence saying otherwise). he quite literally is reminded through cheap jokes that everyone would be better off without him and that he's worth less than the others.
keeping this all in mind, chase has to cope with this in the only way he knows how, by channeling his inner donald davenport and the rest of his narcissistic family to try to prove to everyone (as well as himself) that he IS worthy of respect, kindness, and love. what the other characters and audience sees as egotistical and arrogant behavior, it's literally just him trying to prove subconsciously that he does hold value to his family and everything everyone says/thinks about him isn't true.
look at it this way; chase is constantly partaking in different competitions (talent show, arctic mission, student of the semester, space elevator, baby project, etc) to prove that he is useful and worthy.
i believe he's compensating by being overly obnoxious about his abilities and intelligence (either consciously or not) because he's afraid to be called out on his deep dark insecurities that he possesses.
basically, chase struggles with the defense mechanism of reaction formation and he isn't as self-absorbed/confident as everyone thinks he is so leave my boy alone
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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south park single episode gags - season 22
e1: cartman thinking tolkien won’t let him cheat because he bad-mouthed black panther
e2: the priest as butter’s bff
e3: mr hankey’s ambien addiction
e4: “two princes” playing every time someone puts on the hemp hat
e5: mr. mackey’s beef with scooters
e6: everyone in town being obsessed with red dead redemption
e7: people wondering if they should START to worry
e8: namaste = fuck you
e9: josh in a box
e10: everyone turning to weed to solve their problems
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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south park single episode gags - season 21
e1: rednecks waving the confederate flag to do stupid stuff like swat at a bee or cool down soup
e2: north korea with a personal vendetta against tweek
e3: randy mistaking “indignant” for “indigenous”
e4: mark zuckerberg accusing people of blocking him
e5: top bitch in retirement home with old lady farts
e6: heidi is always late/men say everything but “witch hunt”
e7: "disrespecting the flag"
e8: teresa in denial that she lives in a trailer park
e9: heidi and others taunting kyle for being like his mom
e10: everyone becoming violently sick when it’s revealed pc principal and strong woman are together
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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south park single episode gags - season 20
e1: resurface of giant douche vs turd sandwich
e2: scott threatening to quit twitter at the exasperation of mr mackey
e3:  “my opponent is a liar and cannot be trusted”
e4: boys pulling out their dicks in protest 
e5: everyone being disgusted by cartman and heidi in a relationship
e6: cartman’s mars daydream shifting back and forth from paradise to bad weather
e7: gerald thinking he’s james bond
e8: mr. garrison telling people to suck his dick in graphic detail after he won the presidency
e9: people goading mr. garrison to nuke/not nuke places by calling him names
e10: “never gonna give you up” playing several times
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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south park single episode gags - season 19
e1: caitlyn jenner is a hero and stunning
e2: canada’s wall that they won’t let anyone see the cool stuff behind
e3: “LETS GO CHILD LABOR CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP”
e4: every yelper thinking they’re the chosen one 
e5: whole foods cashier shaming randy for not donating money to charity 
e6: giving money to tweek and craig because they’re gay
e7: cartman mistaking kyle for anyone else in ninja costumes
e8: “crushing puss”
e9: jimmy thinking with his dick
e10: guns being able to solve anything
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saltedslugspine · 8 months
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south park single episode gags - season 18
- e1: redskins logo changes amounting to mere crude drawings
- e2: gluten making your dick fly off
- e3: eric shitting loudly in school bathrooms
- e4: nathan’s snake analogy
- e5: stephen stotch thinking something supernatural is happening with his drone based on believing other people would never do bad things
- e6: randy oblivious again to his drinking problem
- e7: “fuuuuuuuuck you”
- e8: randy’s cock magic routine
- e9: *high pitched* “cartman braaaaah”
- e10: multiple instances of an officer reporting something about black man and chief thinking it’s the setup to a joke
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