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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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RBB Wrap-Up
The Rumbelle Big Bang is finished! 
By the end, we had nineteen artist/author pairs who signed up for a posting slot. That’s a lotta new fic and art for the Rumbelle fandom! 
This was a looong event, with sign-ups starting on August 18th and posting starting on March 12th. It took a lot of commitment and dedication to see this through to the end. The mods would like to extend sincere thanks to everyone who stuck with us through this process.
All the new content, and the passion required to produce it, just affirms what all of us already know... that our fandom is still going strong, nearly a year after the finale aired.
The RBB Masterlist has been posted, so all the art and fics are linked in one place for you to find easily. We also created a post-event survey. This is your chance to tell us what worked about the RBB, and what needs improvement, so please fill out the survey if you haven’t already. 
And with those two items, we... are... DONE!!
Thanks everyone!
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Rumbelle Big Bang: Masterlist
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This is it. The big one. The one we’ve all been waiting for ... the wrap-up, the one-stop shopping for all your Big Bang goodness. There’s a lot of awesome fic and art on this list. Please don’t stay up until 3am reading :p although I know it’ll be tempting. Do enjoy, although I know you will :)
Team Fic
This is Us - by @worryinglyinnocent: Sold into a sideshow by his father on account of his strange appearance, Rumpelstiltskin has resigned himself to a life confined to a cage, being gawked at by a morbidly curious public. When Belle French arrives at the travelling show, abandoned by her own father, she gives him the new lease of life and determination that he needs to break them both free of their cages and find a new life where their differences will be celebrated, not jeered. [Art by @novaliane-san]
What Needs Mending - by @theoneandonlylittlebird: As soon as his son turns eighteen, Mr. Gold will be able to resume contact without his ex’s interference. When he fails to make a good impression on the new librarian, Gold begins to fear something he has never bothered to care about in the past, his reputation, may be insurmountable. This could cost him not only the favor of the new librarian, but ultimately his son. [Art by @avatoh]
Take Me Away - by @nerdcafeolatra: The faeries were tricksters, powerful beings not to be messed with, and Belle knew that. but the peculiar being that she found inside the fairy circle didn’t make her feel threatened by him at all. In fact, as she became closer and closer to him, not only did she find a friend, she found out more about herself than she ever thought she could. [Art by @nropay-gallery]
Finding Stars, Not Counting Scars - by @fangirlgeeksstuff: Belle French, new girl at school, is immediately drawn to the notorious Rumpelstiltskin, a troubled, closed off guy who has a bad reputation with criminal tendencies. Will Belle be able to get him to open up, or will he carry on in the footsteps of his parents? [Art by @leni-ba]
The Missing Piece - by @ethereal-wishes: Belle French has been raising her estranged stepsister, Milah’s son, since she dropped him on her stoop at two weeks old. Belle is the only maternal figure, eight year old Neal has ever known. Life is simple and it’s good, but matters become complicated when a wealthy businessman, sweeps into Storybrooke, claiming to be the boy’s father. [Art by @virgidearie]
Fine Print - by @prissyhalliwell: A mid-life crisis can be Hell, especially if you’re running the place. When his son falls in love with a mortal, Rumplestiltskin is forced to leave his throne in the Underworld and journey to Storybrooke to break the couple up. Little does he know that this will bring him face-to-face with his ex-girlfriend, the woman he’d run from years ago but had never been able to forget. [Art by @bisexualbelle]
Fragments of the Past, Glimpses of Tomorrow - by @wierdogal: Pan’s cursed had failed. Rumple was dead and the people of Storybrooke are left to pick up the pieces. Eleven months of peace and quiet…that is until people from the Enchanted Forest start popping up in Storybrooke. [Art by @fangirlgeeksstuff]
In a Dreaming Place - by @sieben9: Belle’s mother disappeared eight years ago, and now Belle has returned to sell the old family home in Storybrooke and finally move on with her life. However, she meets Rumplestiltskin, a member of the Fae Courts, who not only seems connected to Colette’s disappearance, but brings his own host of problems into Belle’s life. As reluctant partners (though increasingly attracted to each other), they have to navigate both smalltown life in Storybrooke, as well as the intrigues and mind-bending oddities of the Fae Court to find what they are looking for. [Art by @jackabelle73]
Much Ado About Lacey - by @thatravenclawbitch: Detective Weaver wakes up to find himself in bed with a beautiful brunette named Lacey. Life would be good, if not for the fact that he’d been introduced to Lacey just the day before as the longtime girlfriend of his partner, Detective Rogers. [Art by @desperatemurph]
The Demon Earl’s Deal - by @b-does-the-write-thing: With the fate of Avonlea in the balance, Belle French will do anything to save her village, including making a deal with the Demon Earl of Lonsdale himself. [Art by @rumpledspinster]
Opening Lines - by @emospritelet: After years on the streets, Lacey French is used to taking care of herself, but witnessing a violent crime leads to her bumping into Detective Weaver - quite literally.  He never thought that he needed someone in his life. Until she came hurtling into it. [Art by @evilsnowswan]
A Long Way From Home - by @mrs-stiltskin: Former Britpop musician, Lachlan MacAldonich is hiding from his past on a California farm when his life takes an unexpected turn. Finding himself facing deportation and his own past mistakes, Lachlan meets Belle French, a restless spirit looking for adventure and meaning in a wider world. Maybe they’ll find a way to help each other, and reunite Lachlan with an important figure from his hard-living, partying past. [Art by @virgidearie]
Coleslaw and Daggers - by @darcyfarrow2005: Pink. The mansion of the richest man in town, the fortress of the world’s most powerful sorcerer, the lair of the dark beast, is pink. [Art by @mrs-stiltskin]
Holding On and Letting Go - by @sarashouldbestudying: On a night like any other, Belle French comes home tired from work, and wants nothing more than a good night of rest. Someone, however, shows up at her door: it’s Gideon, the son she gave up for adoption thirteen years before. Shocked but also overjoyed, Belle hopes to finally get a place in her estranged son’s life. His adoptive father, however, is incredibly protective of him; will she manage to convince Mr Gold that she’s not a threat, just a mother that had to make a terrible choice? [Art by @desperatemurph]
Begin Again - by @rufeepeach: Facing a midlife crisis, Mr Gold moves into a Manhattan apartment seeking a new beginning. Downstairs lives Lacey Rose, a beautiful young woman with a mysterious income, a hidden past, and a nose for trouble. Young, brash, and insisting upon belonging to no one, Lacey’s brassy exterior hides a whole different person beneath. A person who, just maybe, is also seeking a happy beginning. Fifty is far too old to begin anew alone, but maybe possible together. Rumbelle Breakfast at Tiffany’s AU. [Art by @ifishouldvanish]
How Do You Sleep - by @ifishouldvanish: When retired Brit rocker Lachlan MacAldonich is threatened with deportation after a DUI, he turns to his estranged wife for help– a groupie named Lacey he married one drunken night several years ago. [Art by @moonlight91]
The Sapphire Queen - by @moonlight91: Forced to live as a hostage after the death of her father, Princess Belle of Avonlea must marry the hidden son of the despotic King Malcolm of Aurum who has some secrets of his own.
Cupcakes and Magical Mishaps - by @idesignedthefjords: Belle’s new baking hobby is halted when she runs out of a special ingredient and accidentally doses her sweets with a potion that the two of them end up ingesting. [Art by @galactic-pirates]
Team Art
This is Us illustrated by @novaliane-san. [Fic by @worryinglyinnocent]
What Needs Mending illustrated by @avatoh [Fic by @theoneandonlylittlebird]
Take Me Away illustrated by @nropay-gallery [Fic by @nerdcafeolatra]
Finding Stars, Not Counting Scars moodboards by @leni-ba [Fic by @fangirlgeeksstuff]
The Missing Piece manip by @virgidearie [Fic by @ethereal-wishes]
A Twist in the Story illustrated by @galactic-pirates
Fine Print gifset by @bisexualbelle [Fic by @prissyhalliwell]
Fragments of the Past, Glimpses of Tomorrow video by @fangirlgeeksstuff [Fic by @wierdogal]
In a Dreaming Place gifset by @jackabelle73 [Fic by @sieben9]
Much Ado About Lacey gifset by @desperatemurph [Fic by @thatravenclawbitch]
The Demon Earl’s Deal illustrated by @rumpledspinster [Fic by @b-does-the-write-thing]
Opening Lines covers by @evilsnowswan [Fic by @emospritelet]
A Long Way From Home manip by @virgidearie [Fic by @mrs-stilrskin]
Coleslaw and Daggers art by @mrs-stiltskin [Fic by @darcyfarrow2005]
Holding On and Letting Go gifset by @desperatemurph [Fic by @sarashouldbestudying]
Begin Again art by @ifishouldvanish [Fic by @rufeepeach]
How Do You Sleep art by @moonlight91 [Fic by @ifishouldvanish]
Cupcakes and Magical Mishaps aesthetic by @galactic-pirates [Fic by @idesignedthefjords]
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Take me away- chapter one
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This is my @rumbellebigbang fic! I paired up with the amazing @nropay for the event, here are the works she did for it!  I hope you enjoy it!
Note: the first two chapters had already been posted, but they were taken down and edited. This is the official version.
Disclaimer: This work is basically an extended Rumbelled version of this story by @linkedsoul . The concept and plot progression belong to her, as well as details such as the places the first half of this story happens. And I obviously don’t own OUaT either :D
Summary: The faeries were trickesters, powerful beings not to be messed with, and Belle knew that. but the peculiar being that she found inside the fairy circle didn´t make her feel theatened by him at all. In fact, as she became closer and closer to him, not only did she find a friend, she found out more about herself than she ever thought she could.
For the first time in months, the young princess was free to run in the forest. To feel the grass on her feet and the wind in her hair. To spin around between the trees and to truly feel free.
Every year on her birthday, King Maurice allowed his wife to take their daughter to spend one week with her Grandmother, in a cozy cottage in the woods. It was always the best week in the year, and when she left, she already began counting days to her mother’s birthday and the other special dates when she was allowed to spend some time in the only place she felt truly home: amongst the trees.
Anyone that knew the princess was sure to have already noticed how longingly she looked at the forest, how she craved for adventure and the freedom she was sure to find in it.
And anyone that knew her mother knew where Belle got it from.
Keep reading
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Post RBB survey
Hey everyone! All the RBB works have posted, the master list will be up soon, and we’re almost done with the first-ever Rumbelle Big Bang. 
We would like you to complete one last survey for us, now that we’ve been through the whole process. We’d love to have your feedback on the RBB…. what worked, what didn’t, would you be interested in another big bang in the future, and what would you like done differently if there is a next time? The survey is completely anonymous, so we hope you’ll feel free to be honest. There’s a comment box on each of the eight questions, and we hope you’ll make use of that option to elaborate on your feedback. 
Before you take the survey, we’d like to explain how some things looked from our end, as mods. 
We’re not sure if all participants fully embraced the collaborative aspect of the big bang. We heard from more than one person that perhaps we should have had a separate due date for the first phase, that the fics should have been 100% done before even doing matches and starting the art creation phase.
We’re not sure if we did participants a service by having such a long creation period, when some comments/discussion indicated that many people did the majority of their work in the last month. 
We’re speaking in generalities here… we know that some people did make full use of the creation period, and were done long before their due date. Some people did collaborate fully with their partners. Still, some feedback indicated that not everyone did. 
The survey addresses these topics, but we wanted to explain a bit first, so you know why we’re asking the questions. Also, if you want to address an issue not covered in the survey, please contact us! Leave comments on the survey, reblog or comment on this post, or send us an anonymous ask! Talk to us! 
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Post RBB survey
Hey everyone! All the RBB works have posted, the master list will be up soon, and we’re almost done with the first-ever Rumbelle Big Bang. 
We would like you to complete one last survey for us, now that we’ve been through the whole process. We’d love to have your feedback on the RBB.... what worked, what didn’t, would you be interested in another big bang in the future, and what would you like done differently if there is a next time? The survey is completely anonymous, so we hope you’ll feel free to be honest. There’s a comment box on each of the eight questions, and we hope you’ll make use of that option to elaborate on your feedback. 
Before you take the survey, we’d like to explain how some things looked from our end, as mods. 
We’re not sure if all participants fully embraced the collaborative aspect of the big bang. We heard from more than one person that perhaps we should have had a separate due date for the first phase, that the fics should have been 100% done before even doing matches and starting the art creation phase.
We’re not sure if we did participants a service by having such a long creation period, when some comments/discussion indicated that many people did the majority of their work in the last month. 
We’re speaking in generalities here... we know that some people did make full use of the creation period, and were done long before their due date. Some people did collaborate fully with their partners. Still, some feedback indicated that not everyone did. 
The survey addresses these topics, but we wanted to explain a bit first, so you know why we’re asking the questions. Also, if you want to address an issue not covered in the survey, please contact us! Leave comments on the survey, reblog or comment on this post, or send us an anonymous ask! Talk to us! 
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Belle’s new baking hobby is halted when she runs out of a special ingredient and accidentally doses her sweets with a potion that the two of them end up ingesting.
                    Cupcakes and Magical Mishaps by @idesignedthefjords
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Chapters: 4/16 Fandom: Once Upon a Time (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Belle/Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold Characters: Belle (Once Upon a Time), Rumplestiltskin | Mr. Gold, Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Peter Pan | Malcolm, Alice | Tilly, Baelfire | Neal Cassidy, Ariel (Once Upon a Time) Additional Tags: enchanted forest, Game of Thrones-esque Summary:
Forced to live as a hostage after the death of her father, Princess Belle of Avonlea must marry the hidden son of the despotic King Malcolm of Aurum who has some secrets of his own.
@ripperblackstaff
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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How Do You Sleep?
for @rumbellebigbang​. Artwork by the lovely @moonlight91​ :)
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When retired Brit rocker Lachlan MacAldonich is threatened with deportation after a DUI, he turns to his estranged wife for help– a groupie named Lacey he married one drunken night several years ago. 
Rated M for the language and alcoholism. 50k bc I don’t know why.
[READ ON AO3]
PROLOGUE
The first few times you were taken to a rockstar’s hotel room, the sight was a little jarring.
Instead of a pristine room with a freshly made bed, you were greeted by a mess. Bottles and cans on the floor, sheets bunched around the foot of the bed, a foul smell of unknown origin.
But then again, Lachlan MacAldonich wasn’t a rockstar. Not really, not anymore.
His hand dropped from where it had been resting on the small of Lacey’s back as they reached the door of room 318. He swiped the card though the reader and thrust the door open, revealing a room with nothing more than a slept-in bed and a single worn outfit strewn across it.
“You ever like, totally trash one of these places?” Lacey asked as she stepped inside.
He headed straight for a brown bag on the otherwise pristine desk, next to one list of TV channels, and another of restaurants in the area that deliver. “Who do I look like?” he scoffed, “Bloody Axl Rose?”
“Eh,” she shrugged. “Axl’s got a cuter nose than you.”
Lachlan swatted a hand through the air. “Fuck ‘im.” he said, and there was the crinkling of paper before he spun around with a bottle of whisky in hand. “Pricks, all of them.”
He unscrewed the cap and took a quick swig straight from the bottle before setting it back down on the desk.
“We ah… we met… him, once, in ah… fuck,” he laughed. “I don’t remember where, but– anyway, you uh… you… wanna drink?” he asked, eyelids drooped and his mouth slack. “There’s ah… whisky, and… whisky?” he boasted with a lopsided grin, swaying a little before finding his balance against the desk.
Lacey nibbled her lip, taking in the state of him. He was more than halfway drunk, but so was she. Besides, he was cute, and she’d already set out this evening fully prepared to make a lot of bad decisions.
Keep reading
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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@ifishouldvanish How Do You Sleep
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Title: Begin Again Rating: T Summary: Facing a midlife crisis, Mr Gold moves into a Manhattan apartment seeking a new beginning. Downstairs lives Lacey Rose, a beautiful young woman with a mysterious income, a hidden past, and a nose for trouble. Young, brash, and insisting upon belonging to no one, Lacey’s brassy exterior hides a whole different person beneath. A person who, just maybe, is also seeking a happy beginning. Fifty is far too old to begin anew alone, but maybe possible together. Rumbelle Breakfast at Tiffany’s AU.
AO3 Link
A/N: Written for the @rumbellebigbang with my artist partner @ifishouldvanish! GORGEOUS accompanying artwork here!
A/N 2: This is another Rumbelle fic where Belle is calling herself Lacey, but I wouldn’t really call this a Golden Lace fic? Maybe a bit of both? 
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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RBB fic: Cupcakes and Magical Mishaps
For @rumbellebigbang . My art-partner is @poca-staks and I will edit as soon as the art is posted. My beta is @avatoh. Thank you for putting up with my shit.
Summary:  Belle’s new baking hobby is halted when she runs out of a special ingredient and accidentally doses her sweets with a potion that the two of them end up ingesting.
AO3link
Rumplestiltskin looked outside the window of his tower and saw the Evil Queen riding away in her carriage. He hoped that she was ready to cast the Dark Curse soon, because he was starting to lose his temper with her.
It was all so much easier to get her to do what he wanted when she wasn’t the Evil Queen and just a girl trying to get rid of her mother, Cora. Oh well, he had only himself to blame for that, he thought.
The Evil Queen had learned well from him and became very skilled in finding someone’s weak point, a skill he possessed himself and she now knew his weak point was Belle. It was obvious to her and now becoming more obvious to him. Before her, The Dark Castle used to be Dark indeed. The curtains were always shut, and the smell of his magic was mixed with a musty and old smell. But with Belle’s arrival, there was a new smell in the castle. Hers, of course, she smelled sweet with a hint of roses. But also with Belle, there came the smell of fresh food being made. It was a hobby that surprised the both of them but certainly kept her busy. At first, it was mostly the scent of burned food, but lately the castle filled with the smell of sugar, cinnamon, fruit, and other delicious treats.
He sighed. He supposed the Evil Queen’s observation was right. But still, he would never admit to the fact that he was getting soft and he was starting to have a thing for his maid. Yes, he was still The Dark One, and her master, but part of him was also wishing that he was her lover as well. So instead of admitting to his feelings like a normal person, the situation had gotten to the point where Rumplestiltskin had to put an enchantment over the castle, to stop it from smelling so delicious and non-threatening. It was difficult to instill fear in the unfortunate souls looking for a deal when the castle smelled of freshly baked apple pie.
Keep reading
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Fifty was far too old to start a new life.
And yet, with most of his old things in storage and his palatial home in Storybrooke left empty and cold, that was exactly what Gold had done.
Well, it was what he would do, just as soon as he could call the previous owner of his new apartment and ask where in God’s name they had hidden the key. Neal would chide him for not having charged his cell phone. Nothing made Gold feel more like a delusional old man than how alien the ubiquitous smart phone still felt.
Swallowing his pride, Gold embraced his only other option: he knocked on the door of the apartment below.
                                                      - Begin Again, by @rufeepeach
Happy @rumbellebigbang day, y’all. I’m dragging myself out from the rubble to post this humble offering to accompany Ru’s delightful reimagining of the beloved classic, Breakfast at Tiffany’s. It’s amazing and you should read it now?
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Holding on and Letting Go
This is my @rumbellebigbang fic, and damn was it hard to write. I never would have made it without my amazing beta @galactic-pirates and my partner @desperatemurph who made this awesome gifset. 
I am posting the whole story on tumblr but you can also find it here on Ao3.
Summary: On a night like any other, Belle French comes home tired from work, and wants nothing more than a good night of rest. Someone, however, shows up at her door: it’s Gideon, the son she gave up for adoption thirteen years before. Shocked but also overjoyed, Belle hopes to finally get a place in her estranged son’s life. His adoptive father, however, is incredibly protective of him; will she manage to convince Mr Gold that she’s not a threat, just a mother that had to make a terrible choice?
Belle kicked her shoes off as she entered her apartment, unceremoniously dropping her purse to the floor next to them. Being tidy was a problem for tomorrow Belle; right now, even the thought of having to change into her pajamas felt like too much work.
She was contemplating whether it would be really awful to sleep in the clothes she’d worn at work when the doorbell rang. She couldn’t think of anyone she knew who could be looking for her at this late hour, and her mind immediately provided her with a number of scenarios involving serial killers. Through the peephole she saw a nervous-looking boy on the other side of the door. He didn’t exactly look threatening, so she resolved to open the door, but she was ready to close it at the first sign of danger.
“Who are you?” she asked, looking at the boy more closely and trying to remember if she had seen him before. He did look oddly familiar now that she thought of it. 
“Are you Belle French?” he asked instead of answering. 
“I asked you first, but I’ll let this slide because it’s written on the doorbell anyway. Yes, I am Belle French,” she answered, eyeing him curiously. 
“My name is Gideon Gold. I’m your son,” he said simply, flashing her a little smile.
Keep reading
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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This is my second gifset for @rumbellebigbang! This time it’s the first scene from @sarashouldbestudying‘s wonderful family-fluff-with-a-speck-of-angst fic Holding on and Letting go [Link to follow]
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Coleslaw and Daggers for @rumbellebigbang.  Art by Mrs.-Stiltskin, story by DarcyFarrow
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Pink. The mansion of the richest man in town, the fortress of the world’s most powerful sorcerer, the lair of the dark beast, is pink.
Only a trickster would paint his house pink.  The god Loki, the Trickiest of Tricksters, folds his arms across his chest as he stands, feet firmly planted on the concrete sidewalk traversing the edge of Mr. Gold’s lawn–Mr. Gold’s freshly manicured lawn, with a riding Lawnboy parked beside the garage and a swing set and a Little Tikes Rider visible in the backyard.  
The King of Chaos chuckles humorlessly.  Oh, a fine trickster this Dark One is, projecting the guise of ordinary family man. A deceiver extraordinaire.   A worthy adversary.  Under Loki’s arm is the latest issue of this hamlet’s news/gossip rag, The Storybrooke Mirror, upon the front page of which is a photo of local businessman/mage extraordinaire Mr. Gold, a. k. a. Rumplestiltskin, a. k. a. the Dark One.  In the photo he stands beside Mrs. Gold, a. k. a. the mortal Belle, a. k. a. the newly re-elected leader of Storybrooke (her inauguration is the article’s subject). Mr. Gold, in his three-piece Dolce & Gabbana, smiles proudly yet sternly in the photo; Mrs. Gold smiles tiredly.  
Scattered throughout the rest of the birdcage-bottom liner are more mentions of their names, Gold more frequently than his wife:  articles about Gold’s activities with the Chamber of Commerce, Gold’s plans to build a new apartment complex, Gold’s donation of a computer lab to the public library—then there’s the odd one, a second-page article about the Dark One’s easy defeat of a flying monkey attack on City Hall.  Second-page? From the placement Loki surmises that flying monkey attacks are no big deal in Storybrooke—or at least, the Dark One’s defeat of them. In the classifieds are advertisements for Mr. Gold Pawnbroker, Gold Real Estate and Gold Rentals. It’s through this newspaper that Loki has figured out who’s the Big Mage on Campus here.  It’s through some subtle questioning (and a bit of flirting with the wait staff) at the local watering hole that Loki has learned Gold’s whereabouts.  
And it’s through his own clever scheming that Loki of Asgard has come to this town after his somewhat embarrassing failure to bring New York City to its knees.  Licking his wounds (and wincing whenever the TV news mentions the Hulk, which occurs disturbingly often) in a Manhattan presidential suite, Loki reassessed his battle plans: where he’d gone wrong was taking a strong-arm approach. How he’d let Thanos talk him into charging in with an army, he’d never know (oh, he has his suspicions:  whenever Thanos is around, Loki’s mind tends to go blank).  A head-on Thorian attack isn’t the God of Skulduggery’s style.  The needle, the pen, the fine point of a deal, that’s more his style. A puppeteer, that’s what he is, using his magic to pull the strings.
Re-strategizing has led the Rightful Future King of Asgard to the only magic-drenched community in Midgard, where witches, wizards, sorcerers, fairies and lesser magic folk abound, just waiting to be turned toward Loki’s glorious purpose, whether by deals or by force.  These folk, he’s learned from their lunchroom gossip, are exhausted from magic fights and nervous for when “the next Cora, Zelena, Pan, Hyde or Hades” will upend their town’s peace again.  They need real leadership, not this paper-pusher they just re-elected.  It won’t take much to bring them crawling to the God of Manipulation’s feet.  A quick, humiliating, public defeat of their most powerful mage will do the trick.
Loki snorts.  The Dark One, the most powerful magic user in all the realms, they think their Mr. Gold is.  The front-page photo says otherwise:  short, skinny, middle-aged.  Not even big enough for a god to wipe Main Street with.  And a pink house and a Lawnboy? The God of Disruption won’t even work up a good sweat.  Without blinking an eye, Loki changes from his Armani to his leather battle gear and transports himself to the top of the garage to study the battleground.
Loki’s mouth drops open in disappointment. He finds his opponent positioned beside a barbeque grill, a spatula in hand, a pair of sunglasses shielding his eyes, and a “Kiss the Cook” apron tied over his three-piece suit.  Mrs. Dark One is setting dinner places at an umbrella-protected picnic table while a toddler in a high chair is blowing and splatting spit bubbles with his grubby little hands.  With a hasty glance over his shoulder to assure himself that his wife isn’t looking, Gold tosses a magic fireball into the grill to light the coals, then proceeds to lay out the hamburgers.  Oh, so the Dark One keeps up this pretense of innocence for his wife, the God of Mischief thinks –as the aroma of grilling burgers tickles his nose and his stomach growls.  Gold’s either very very tricky or… he’s a nerd in sorcerer’s clothing.
Magically transporting himself atop the picnic table (disregarding the dish of Grey Poupon his boots land in) Loki declares himself.  “Dark One!  I am Loki, Savior and Rightful King of Asgard, and the God of Magic and Mayhem!”
The wife grabs a dishtowel from her waistband and swats at Loki’s boots.  “Look out, Mayhem.  You’ve ruined the mustard and you’re trailing wet grass all over my picnic table.”
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Entertained—and not frightened in the least—by the new arrival’s magical appearance, the baby bounces and claps his hands.  Rumplestiltskin merely pushes the sunglasses up onto his head so he can examine the visitor more clearly.  “The new paperboy, I presume?”  Turning back to the grill, he salts the burgers as Loki announces his intentions, rather annoyed by the unfazed reception he’s received so far:  “Didn’t you hear me?  I said I’m Loki of Asgard, a God. Mayhem and mischief and magic.”  
The Dark Cook glances over his shoulder long enough to make a rolling motion with his free hand, urging the god to get to the point.  
Is this feigned boredom another of the Dark One’s tricks?  “I’ve come to conquer this realm,” Loki insists.  “I have powers beyond your wildest imaginings.”
Still intent on his grilling, the Dark One throws over his shoulder:  “I have coleslaw.”
“I will crush you, this very afternoon, and I will drag you, bloody and mewling, down the street that bears your nemesis’ name, and toss your quavering, broken body across the town square for all those who once feared you to laugh as you beg for my mercy.  And then when I’ve stolen every last scrap of magic from your shattered soul, I will finish you off with my daggers.”
The Dark One—Rumplestiltskin is his human name, and Loki will remind him of his puny natural state by using that name from now on—glances over his shoulder at his wife, who’s mopping up mustard and scowling.  “Talks a lot, doesn’t he?”
Belle sighs in aggravation as she swipes her cloth over Loki’s boots.   “Again? I’d hoped our villain-of-the-week subscription had expired.”
“It has been a while since the last attack, sweetheart. We’re overdue,” Rumplestiltskin points out.
Belle comes around to her husband’s side and pokes his ribs.  “Just as well.  You could use the workout.”
He kisses the top of her head.  “It’s because you spoil me, my love.” Annoyed at being ignored, Loki clears his throat.  “Hello, danger over here or have you forgotten?” Belle reaches up to poke Loki’s ribs. “You, on the other hand, need to put on a few pounds. When was the last time you ate?”
Rumple waves his spatula at the grill.  “Look, Lucky–“
“Loki,” the god corrects.
“My family and I are hungry.  Can we do this magic-fight after lunch?”
The baby claps his hands.
“Now Ruuuumple,” Belle says in a warning tone, “you’re not being a nice host.  You know, I bet Lucky’s so crabby because he hasn’t had his lunch yet.”
Loki is flabbergasted by this mild-mannered spousal exchange.  “I appear before you threatening to destroy you and you offer me hamburgers?” Belle shrugs.  “My husband’s an excellent cook.  See?” She points at his apron.  “He has the apron to prove it.” 
Rumplestiltskin twirls his spatula.  “How do you want yours?” Loki sputters. “My—?” “Burger.  Rare, medium rare, medium well—” The god huffs.  “I am here to destroy you and take over your kingdom, you fool.”
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Belle whacks at Loki’s boots with her salad tongs. “Get down from my table before you break something.”  When he’s grounded, she advises, more sympathetically, “You really shouldn’t fight on an empty stomach.  Look, we’ve got plenty:  burgers, coleslaw, baked beans, salad, apple pie and homemade ice cream.  Here.”  She tosses a plastic ball at him.  “Play catch with Gid while I toss the salad.”
With a flick of his wrist, Rumple conjures a beach blanket and plants his giggling son and the intruder in the middle of it.  Befuddled (and just a little bit nervous that perhaps he’s underestimated his opponent’s power) Loki seats himself open-legged on the blanket and rolls the ball toward the baby, who claps his hands before rolling it back.  As the game begins, the god mumbles, “I am a sorcerer, you idiot.  I can move planets, crush stars, summon legions of demons with a single thought.” Rumple shrugs as he flips the burgers.  “Okay.”
“I am a prince.” With his spatula, Rumple points one by one to his neighbors’ houses.  “A queen lives there; she now sells shoes.  Over there’s a former king.  Three blocks down in a walk-up flat lives the Savior.  In a ranch house outside of town you’ll find Queen Snow White and Prince Charming.  She teaches elementary school; he raises sheep.  My wife’s a princess.”
Belle clicks her tongue as she drizzles vinaigrette onto the salad.  “You can’t turn around in this town without bumping into a blue blood.” Rumple continues,  “Frankly I’d have been more impressed if you’d said you’re a podiatrist.  We need one of those.” “I’m a shape shifter.”  Without blinking, Loki changes himself into Bruce Banner (okay, a slight misfire there:  he meant to shift into the Hulk), then when Gideon yelps a protest, he quickly resumes his Asgardian form.  
Rumple snaps his fingers and suddenly Thor stands in his place, the spatula having converted into a miniature Mjolnir.  Looking on, Gid yawns and tosses the plastic ball.
“I always preferred you with long hair, darling, but not that long.  It looks unkempt,” Belle complains, and Rumple changes himself back.
“That’s what I keep telling Thor.”  Loki is growing red in the face, and it’s only partially because the baby has hit him on the nose with the ball.  He tries again to impress.  “I have daggers.” Rumple rolls his eyes, summons his dagger and slices a block of cheese with it.  
Loki persists, “I am immortal.”
“Boring, isn’t it?”  Rumple scoops up a burger and slides it onto a platter.  “Hey, what do you do about the gray in your hair?  I notice you don’t have any.  Magic or Clairol?”
The baby, apparently regretting his misaimed throw, crawls across the blanket and plops himself into Loki’s lap, then reaches up to pat the injured nose.
Belle throws another cautionary “Ruuuumple” over her shoulder.  “That’s too personal a question. Besides,” she stage-whispers, “it’s obvious: he wears a wig.”
“I do no such thing!”  the god sputters.  But his insult cools as the baby leans up to kiss his nose and inquire, “Aw bedder?”
Belle ties a bib around the baby’s neck before kissing his plump cheek. “Good boy, Gid.”  She straightens, a fond smile spreading across her face.  “Say, Lucky—”
“Loki.”
“Would you mind if he sat on your lap while we eat?  He’s taken a shine to you.”
“I am the God of Chaos! I don’t hold babies!”
Belle pats his shoulder.  “There’s a first for everything.  Here.” She ties a bib around Loki’s neck.  “He’s likely to spill on you.”
Before the god can complain further, a cloud of purple magic has enveloped him, and when it clears he finds himself seated at the picnic table with the giggling Gideon securely perched on his knee.  “I’ll fix your plate for you.  Onions on your burger?  Ketchup?  We’re out of Grey Poupon.”  She tosses that last comment out with a blatant glare at Loki’s boots.
“I could conjure—”
“No, you don’t, Rumple.  You know how I feel about magicked food.” She spears up a pickle for Loki’s plate.  “Magicked food is all calories and no flavor, don’t you think?”
“I’m sure I wouldn’t know.”  Loki grabs the baby’s fist just in time to prevent him from slamming it into the potato salad.  As the baby blows a raspberry, the god pushes the potato salad bowl out of reach.  
“Now don’t be rude, Gideon.  I’ll make your plate next.”  She smiles at Loki.  “I have to cut his food into small bites.  Baked beans?  Jello?”  
The god’s stomach growls and he blushes as he relents.  “I wouldn’t mind a scoop of that potato salad, Mrs. Gold. The burgers smell delicious.”
“My own secret recipe.”  With a slight smirk, Rumplestiltskin seats himself across from the god, then cuts one of the burgers into tiny bits.  “I’ll fix Gid’s plate, sweetheart.  You sit down and eat.”
“Thanks, darling.  I am famished.” For such a petite mortal, Loki thinks as he watches her load her plate, she sure can pack it away.  
Suddenly she stands.  “I really do want some mustard.  We have a bottle of French’s in the fridge. I’ll be back in a minute.”  
Politely, the men pop up on their feet as she vacates the table for the house.  Once she’s inside, Rumplestiltskin passes his glowing hand over the pitcher of iced tea and it transforms into a reddish-brown liquid, of which he pours out two glasses.  “Grunhelian whiskey.  I understand it’s a favorite of you Asgardian gods.  Just don’t tell Belle.”
Loki raises an eyebrow (this Midgardian knows more than Loki thought he would).  He thinks about tattling to Belle:  a domestic spat between the Dark One and the Missus could be entertaining.  But after his first sip he decides the whiskey’s almost as delicious as the burger, so he’ll keep Rumplestiltskin’s secret.  As Belle jogs back to the picnic table with a mustard jar, Rumple hastily swipes his glowing hand over the pitcher again, then blinks innocently.  As she seats herself, he pours her a glass, for which she thanks him, then he forks up a bite of burger for his son.  The boy giggles as he clamps his tiny teeth on the fork to yank the meat off.  Loki almost forgets to eat as he stares, flabbergasted, at the incredible sight of this realm’s most powerful mage forking food into a baby’s mouth.  Belle nudges Loki, offering the yellow bottle. “Mustard?”
“No, thank you; I prefer my burgers free of condiments.”
“A purist, huh.  I take that as a compliment to my grilling,” Rumplestiltskin nods. He pushes the platter of burgers toward his guest.  “Have another.”
The meal is tasty and filling, Loki has to admit.  He’s beginning to feel replenished.   Maybe it was a good idea to eat before fighting.  He gulps down the last of his tea, then tilts his empty glass toward his host.  “May I have some more of that refreshing tea, Mr.—ah, Dark One?”
Belle being occupied with her mustard, Rumplestiltskin fills the glass, then passes his hand over it with a wink. When Belle glances up, biting into her burger, her husband blinks innocently again.  Belle smiles at him, a smear of mustard crossing her cheek. Rumplestiltskin reaches across the table and dabs it away with his napkin.
The baby on Loki’s lap grabs up a handful of Jello and pops it into his mouth.  He then reaches up to offer Loki a handful of the green goo.  The god accepts the offering with a weak smile—as a god, he’s quite used to receiving lame offerings.  He swallows, then introduces a topic of conversation.  “What is a dark one, anyway?” Rumple licks up a drop of ketchup before it can escape his bun.  “Kinda hard to explain.  What is a god?” “Kinda hard to explain.” “I suppose I could have ruled a realm or two.  It just seemed like too much trouble.  Hard enough being the town’s primary solver of magic problems.  You’d be surprised how much trouble a town of two thousand souls can get into.” “I was the king of Asgard for a while.  Sort of.  I enjoyed it immensely, except for the ‘help me, Your Highness’ part.  Yeah.  Too much trouble.”   “So why do you want to defeat Rumple and rule Storybrooke?” Belle asks. Loki shrugs.  “It’s what I do.”  “Why?” “To have people kneel at my feet, of course.”
Rumple scowls.  “Sounds like something Cora would say.” “And look where that got her,” Belle points out.  “So Lucky, what else have you accomplished in life?” Loki tries to think, but Gideon’s now stuffing a handful of lettuce in the god’s mouth.  “I led an army.” “We don’t have an army,” Rumple remarks. “I wrote and directed a critically acclaimed play.” Belle perks up.  “Oh, now that we could use.  Regina wants to start a community theater.  It would pay minimum wage but we could cut you in on the box office.” Having watched The Lion King on Broadway three times, Loki understands the concept of box office. “A theater director?” “We could upgrade the title:  King of Thespians or God of Stagecraft or something like that.”
It’s almost tempting.  He did have a lot of fun staging The Tragedy of Loki. But he shakes his head to clear it of the pleasant buzz that’s creeping in.  “Thank you, but no.  I came here to conquer and rule.”
“So unoriginal.”  Belle clicks her tongue.  Then she brightens.  “Rumple, I hate to send him away empty-handed though.  If he really wants to run things in Storybrooke, maybe we could give him a trial run, see how he does.” Rumplestiltskin considers.  “Sure,  why not?  Everybody else has had a turn at being mayor.”  Belle waves her fork in the air.  “I’m on my third term and frankly I’m bored with it.  I’d rather go back to shelving books.” The Dark One suggests,  “Suppose you appoint him Mayor for a Day.”
Loki gapes as his fate cavalierly ping-pongs between husband and wife. “That’s a wonderful idea, Rumple. Then the three of us could spend a day at the beach.” “Fine for us,” Rumple agrees, “but let’s see how he handles the garbage collectors strike, the collapse of the troll bridge, the graffiti sprayed on the sheriff’s office and rising unemployment among displaced royals.”
“Maybe a fresh perspective is just what we need.”  Belle stands, removing a slobbered-on hamburger bun from Gideon.  “All right, young man, now you’re just playing.  Time for your bath.” She cradles her son against her chest, and the men rise again until she’s walked back into the pink house.
“More Grunhelian ‘tea’?” Rumplestiltskin offers.  Loki nods.  In silence they polish off their burgers and the pitcher.  
“Look, you folks have been quite hospitable, and I hate to be rude, but I’ve got a job to do and I mustn’t be dissuaded.”  Loki waves his hand over the pitcher, refilling it.  He pours glasses for his host and himself.  “I am, after all, burdened with glorious purpose.”
“Intent is meaningless, dearie.” Rumplestiltskin nods toward the house, where, from an open second-story window, a lullaby can be heard.  “That’s what means something.  You’ve never been married, have you?”
“Haven’t had time for it.”
“I get it.  Needed to get your career off the ground, make a little money first.”
“Glorious purpose, remember.”
“Remind me, what is that purpose, again?”
Loki’s feeling a little lightheaded and it’s hard to focus.  “I have to prove… something.  To my father.  That he was wrong about me.”  
“Daddy issues,” the Dark One drawls, his speech beginning to be slightly affected by the whiskey. “Let me tell you about daddy issues.”
“Oh no, let me tell you. You know what I found out, the day after I turned 1400?  The man I thought was my father actually stole me. Took me from my people, when I was a newborn.  My real father abandoned me because I was a runt.”
“Mine named me Rumplestiltskin as a way of getting back at me for being born.  And then he dragged me along to every con game, card game and pocket picking he got involved in.  He used me as a distraction, because I was a runt and people felt sorry for me.”
“Odin promised me I’d be king when he stepped down.  Instead he chose my brother—or, rather, the guy he’d claimed was my brother, before Odin told me the truth. But he really wasn’t, because, you know, the stealing thing.”  
“The big, blond muscle head,” Rumplestiltskin says sympathetically.  “I have one too.”  He pitches his voice in a mocking, nasal whine. “Charming!”
Loki helps himself to a refill.  “It was right after he announced that Thor would be king that he told me about that.  Odin lied to me all those years.  He never intended to make me king because I wasn’t his blood.”
“At least you got a childhood.  When I was seven, my father took me to Neverland, then abandoned me so he could magically de-age himself and become Peter Pan.”
“My foster father was ashamed of me, because I was a Frost Giant.”
“My father was ashamed of me because I existed. He said it was my fault that my mother ran off and became a fairy.”
Loki mumbles, “I did have a pretty good mother—foster mother.  That is, until I caused her death.”
“I killed my mother.  Because she kidnapped my son and made him her slave and would’ve killed my wife.”  Rumple shrugs.  “And a whole lot of other people, but who cares about them. Lay a finger on Gideon or Belle, though, and I’ll rip your heart out. Literally.”
“You’ll have to show me that trick sometime.  Assuming I let you live after I beat you to a pulp.”
“You mean, assuming I let you live after I turn you into a snail.  A signature piece of mine.”
“Snakes, that’s my signature piece.”
Rumple magically refills the pitcher, then pours out glasses for the two of them.  “Hey, did you ever try changing sides, becoming a hero?”
“Well. …”  Loki runs a finger through the condensation on his glass, making a little river of it.  “Those roles were already filled.  Besides, Thor made it look so boring, all those push-ups and power shakes and the weight-lifting.”
“You could join the Avengers.  That looks pretty exciting.”
“I thought about joining the Justice League, just to piss off my brother.”  
“I converted, for their sake.”  The Dark One nods toward his house. “Being a good guy is boring, but having a wife and baby who look up to you makes it worthwhile.  But damn it, sometimes it gets on my nerves, the way this town treats me.  They’re always running to me when they have a curse they need breaking.  You know what the last one was?  One of the nuns accidentally cast it:  the Curse of Ingrown Toenails. Everyone in town got ‘em.  Guess who they all came whining to.”  He points to his chest.  “And what thanks do I get for fixing their little problems?  Today’s a local holiday.  Take a guess who it’s in honor of.  It ain’t me, that’s for sure.  It’s Grumpy Day.  The dwarves’ version of Chicken Little.  A dwarf gets a day named after him, but do they ever think to thank the sorcerer who cured their ingrown toenails?”
“My brother gets fifty-two name days every year.  Thor’s Day.”
“They named a street Captain Hook Way.  When Hook married the Savior, three hundred people showed up for the wedding.”
“Would you really want three hundred people at your wedding?”
“No, but Charming could’ve sent a card.  I kinda thought we were bros, at one point.”
“Here.” Loki squints as he stares at his hand.  It takes some doing, and it’s not exactly what he intended—he was going to conjure a jack-in-box, but it comes out as a Jumbo Jack Cheeseburger.  “A belated baby shower gift.”
Rumple looks perplexed, but he accepts the present.  “Thanks.”
“Having a street named after me would be nice,” Loki considers.  “Loki Lane.”
“Same here.  In gratitude for the toenails.”
“Your name wouldn’t fit on a sign.”
“‘Rumple Road’ would work.  Not that I really care for the glory, but it would give my son playground bragging rights.  You know, ‘My dad’s the most powerful sorcerer in the realm so they named a street after him.’”
Loki almost reminds Rumplestiltskin that after their magic fight, there’ll be a new “most powerful in the realm.”  But he’s not so sure that he’s ready for that fight just now; he’s feeling a bit woozy. Besides, a more irritating thought nags at him. “They named a radioactive element after my brother.  What did they name after me? Woodlice.”
The Dark One sighs.  “I miss the old days, when being a sorcerer really meant something, you know.  When people would trade you their favorite cow for a spell to cure a toothache.”
“Yeah. Or when turning yourself into a snake could a rise out of your brother.”
A shout is carried across the summer breeze: “Lucky! Lucky!  Lucky!”
“That’s my wife,” Rumple informs his guest.  “She thinks if she calls a sorcerer’s name three times, your magic will make you appear to her.  An old superstition that I’ve never disavowed her of.  I’d be obliged if you’d go to her.”
“Sure.” Loki ambles, a bit unsteady, across the lawn to position himself beneath the second-story window.  “You summoned me, Mrs. Gold?”
She leans her elbows on the window sill.  Behind her, he can hear the baby crying.  “He won’t go to sleep.  He wants his Uncle Lucky to tuck him in.”
He tries to remember what he came here for, and how fierce he needs to be to pull off the threat.  “Me? I’m the God of Upheaval. I don’t do tuck-ins.”
“Please?” Belle urges.  “He won’t go to sleep without a kiss from Uncle Lucky.”
“A kiss?!”
“And a story.  Just a short one.  ‘Snow White and the Eight Dwarves,’ ‘Emma and the Beanstalk,’ ‘Rumplestiltskin and the Big Bad Bear,’ it doesn’t matter.  He loves them all.  Please, Lucky?”
With a huffed “My name is Loki,” the god swings open the screen door and plods, leaning against the walls, up the stairs to the nursery, where the baby suddenly hushes and begins bouncing on his crib mattress instead.  As Loki enters the room, slightly disoriented by the dancing pink elephants and the prancing white unicorns plastered on the walls, Gideon stretches out both arms, leaving the god no choice but to pick him up, cuddle him and brush away the quickly drying tears.  Belle ushers them to a rocking chair.  “Here, sit here.  You look a little unnerved. When was the last time you had a nap?”
The baby plops himself down hard on Uncle Lucky’s knee.  “Tory,” he demands, then remembers his manners and asks more sweetly, “Tory, peeeeese?”  When the lad reclines his head against Loki’s chest, the god relents. “All right.  This is one my mother used to tell me and my brother when we were small.  It’s called ‘Clever Loki and Crybaby Thor.’  Once upon a time in a land far, far away… .”
Before the story is finished, Gideon is fast asleep, drooling on Loki’s leather.  Not that the god minds—though he’d never admit that aloud.  He secretly smiles as Belle ports the baby to bed.  In unison they lean over the crib, watching the toddler’s tiny chest rise and fall in peaceful slumber.  “You ought to have one of these,” Belle whispers.  “Now that’s a glorious purpose.”  She wraps her hand around his arm and steers him back downstairs.  “Get a job, a place to live—Rumple has some vacant luxury apartments—and I’ll introduce you around.  We seem to have an unusually high population of unmarried young women in this town.”
They find Rumplestiltskin lovingly scrubbing down his grill.  He glances up at them.  “Did you get Gideon settled?”
Belle nods.  “Lucky would make a wonderful babysitter.”  She’s reaching for the pitcher and her husband’s eyes widen in alarm, for his secret is about to be exposed. Loki leaps to the rescue, transporting himself over to the rose bushes. “What kind of roses are you growing, Mrs. Gold?”  She forgets the tea to escort her guest through the garden.  With a sigh of relief, Rumplestiltskin converts the contents of the pitcher to Lipton’s. He mouths something at his rescuer, something that appears to be thanks, buddy.
Buddy. No one has ever called the God of Mischief buddy before.  As Belle stoops to sniff her roses, Loki ponders. “Who would I talk to about that mayor job?”  He’s feeling all soft and warm and hopeful inside.
Maybe it’s just the tea.
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FIVE DAYS LATER
“And we haven’t had a raise in two years!  Do you know how much a quart of milk costs these days?  We need a COLA!”
“What about our fire truck?  We asked for a new truck a year ago.  The truck we have now, we have to push it downhill to get it started!”
“If Gold gets to build a 40-unit apartment complex on the west side, why can’t I build a moat around my house?”
“You think you got trouble now.  Just wait until the Sanitation Workers Union goes on strike!”
“These zoning laws are anti-business and draconian.  Keep up with the times, Mayor!”
“Your predecessor did a weekly story time for the first-grade class.  What are you going to do to support education in this town?”
Mayor for the Day Loki Laufeyson Odinson flips a switch on his desk intercom.  “Ariel!  Ask Granny to deliver a pitcher of Grunhelian tea, immediately!”  Then he lowers his head to his mahogany desk and slowly, deliberately bangs his forehead against the wood.
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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Here is my Rumbelle Big Bang art for the lovely @darcyfarrow2005. Her story, Coleslaw and Daggers, is a fast paced battle of wits and words between the God of Chaos and The Gold Family. Don’t miss this charming and funny tale.
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rumbellebigbang · 5 years
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A Long Way from Home
This is my second manip for @rumbellebigbang, to illustrate the fic A long Way from Home by @mrs-stiltskin. This is a California Solo AU, and my first LachlanBelle manip, hopefully not the last one! :)
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