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reallytryin · 1 year
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Luv my brother in law <3
dear Chris girls,
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that is all okay bye
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reallytryin · 1 year
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I love that I’m living for the women of the past.
I’m living for every woman who was made to have a child and a husband before her second menstrual cycle
I’m living for every women who was burned, beheaded, drowned, hanged and tortured for existing out side of the norm
I’m living for every woman who was reduced to a set of ovaries for her husbands use.
I’m living for every trans woman who never got to come out
I’m living for every gay woman who was forced to marry a man
I’m living for every woman who’s body was raped before or after burial
I’m living for every woman who spent years both publishing/ completing her husband’s work and taking care of their kids
I’m living for every woman who’s work has been labeled as that of a man
I’m living for every woman who wasn’t able to live for herself. And so are you.
Happy women’s history month.
Live for them.
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reallytryin · 1 year
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I love 🤭
𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞𝐫? | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
summary steve finds out that falling in love can be really, really easy. you find out what it’s like when somebody wants to take care of you [10.5k]
warnings fem!reader, fluff, mutual pining, getting together, dustins next-door neighbour!reader, sick fic, hurt/comfort, reader is implied to weigh more than nancy, you’re upset one time and steve goes overboard, small s4 spoilers no major plot details, post s3 pre s4, feat. the lunch club, karaoke, rollerblading, sunbathing
𓆩❤︎𓆪
A vast green jungle, so damp the forest floor bathes your ankles in rainwater runoff. The air is thick with humidity and smells green. Earthy, the sweet scent of petrichor tickles your nose, and- 
A shadow distends over the yellow pages of your paperback, dark, eating up the image of the amazon and replacing it with reality – a normal summer's day in Hawkins. 
Steve Harrington stands in front of you, his body blocking the sun and its warm glow. The light throws a halo around his head and turns the ends of his brown hair golden. 
"Watcha reading?" he asks in lieu of ‘hello’.
"Ever read Journey to the Center of the Earth?" you ask him, leaning towards him invitingly. 
You love to mess with him like this, watch his cheeks slowly pink as you bend towards your knees with a demure smile playing on your lips. 
"Yeah, I did. In middle school," he says, trying his best to play it cool, hands pushing deep into the pockets of his pants. 
"Well, it's nothing like that." 
The grin he gets when he realises you're messing with him is adorable. He chuckles warmly and pulls a hand through his hair, looking down at the ground and then up at you again with a bashful pinch to his thick eyebrows.
"You're looking for Dustin?" you ask. You haven't seen your young neighbour since this morning. "He ran off earlier with his huge radio thing." 
Steve rolls his eyes. "Typical. I paid him fifteen dollars," he says, his frustration clear, "fifteen dollars, Y/N, to fix my Walkman like three weeks ago. Every time I come by he's out. Little shit probably hasn't even looked at it." 
You like Steve. He's a great looking guy who's more than nice when he sees you even though you're always pushing his buttons, and his poorly hidden fondness for Dustin is something you find heart-squeezingly attractive. You don't think twice about your next move. 
You stand up from your lounger and have to shield your eyes from the sun, tucking your book under your naked arm. "If you want… I have a cassette player I'm not using. I got a Walkman for my birthday." You don't give him an opportunity to say no as you start for the front door. 
"Are you sure?" Steve asks. You hold the door open for him, standing at the threshold with a grin. 
"Positive. It's collecting dust, at this point." 
"I mean, sure, if that's cool. Just until Dustin gets his act together," he says, pushing past you. His hand brushes your hip. 
"That's cool," you confirm, walking behind him through your open kitchen and living room. "It's on the left." 
Steve pushes into your bedroom. The window's open, breezing around the smell of fresh linens and the hydrangeas in the planter on your sill, shifting the gauzy white curtains. 
The suncatcher hanging from the window sprays rainbow kisses over your walls and posters, your laundry basket full of summer dresses and discarded night shirts. The carpet is freshly vacuumed and plush underfoot as you beeline for your desk. Steve hovers by the door before leaning his weight against your bookshelf, eyes taking it in curiously. 
"Cyndi Lauper," Steve says, eyes on a big poster of said singer with her iconic orange hair and hat. You raise your eyebrows at him, pleased, and he shrugs. "She's famous." 
"You like her?" 
"Nah," he says. "But I'll listen to anything. Except Depeche Mode; sharing a player with Robin all summer has sailed that boat." 
"Yeah?" you ask, kneeling down in front of your desk to dig through the cabinet underneath. You frown, up to your elbow in bric a brac and forgotten trinkets. "It's in here somewhere." 
"Yeah. I mean, maybe not anything. I don't think I have the palate for some of those rock and roll bands. Dustin made me listen to Black Scabbard in the car last week and…"
"Black Sabbath," you correct lightly, pulling out of your cupboard with a relieved huff. 
"Right," he says. 
You look over your shoulder to find him perusing your bookshelf, his hand running lightly over the shiny glass paper weight you use as a book end. He teases the spine of a hardback book curiously but must feel your gaze, turning to you with a sheepish smile. 
"Do you like to read?" you ask. 
Steve wrings his hands held at his hip. "Sure, I don't mind it. Bigger fan of movies." 
"Right, Family Video must get pretty distracting," you say, walking towards him on light footing to offer the dinged-up cassette player. "She's well loved but she works, I swear." 
He takes it from you, fingers brushing the backs of yours. "Thank you." 
You shift from one foot to the other — because oh my god there's a boy in my room — before smiling with teeth. You stop. "You're welcome. Want a drink?" 
"Uh…" 
"I've got pink lemonade." 
"Oh, then definitely." 
You lead him into the kitchen and install him at the kitchen table with two empty glasses. The carafe of lemonade is beautifully cold from the refrigerator with slices of lemon and strawberry bouncing around the top as you pour it. The condensation wets your fingers. 
Steve looks handsome and maybe slightly silly behind your homely oak table, all clean cut and well dressed. You feel bare beside him in your tank top and flowy midi skirt, too much skin. 
"Are you hungry? I make a mean BLT," you say, bringing your feet up onto the chair, knees digging into the table. 
"I'm good, thanks," he says. 
"Are you having a good time of it at FV? They denied my application, but that's 'cos Keith has a vendetta against me for wiping out his score on the Palace's Tempest." 
"You're a Tempest girl?" 
"Everybody plays Tempest," you say. 
Steve gives you a look. "Nerds play Tempest." 
"Fine, every nerd plays Tempest," you allow, rolling your eyes. "Lemme guess, you're a Centipede guy. No, worse! You play Pac-Man. I can tell."
His silence is enough to make you giggle in triumph, elated to have sussed him out so quickly.  
"How did you know that?" he asks finally. 
"You called Black Sabbath 'Black Scabbard'. You're not a nerd." 
"I could be." 
"But you're not." 
You share a steady look over the table. His eyes are bright with mirth, a sleek brown like fresh brewed coffee. You love the shape of them, deepest with the round under eye blanketed in straight black lashes. A red polo stretches across his chest. You find your eyes drawn down the length of his arm to his hand where he's drawing circles around the rim of his glass. He takes it into his hand and you watch his wrist bend, his arm flex as he brings the cup to his lips and a drop of condensation drips onto the table mat. 
"I don't look the type?" he asks after a rough swallow. He sounds almost incensed. 
"No, of course you don't. King Steve," you croon. 
He crosses his arms across his chest and leans back, looking you up and down showfully. "Neither do you." 
He's all charming smiles as he raises his chin and shakes his head, lips stretched up in an open-mouthed smile. 
"Tempest," he mutters in bemusement.
You burst into laughter, quick to defend yourself when there's a pounding knock at the door. You're still laughing as you stand, calling to Steve as you walk to the door, "Tempest isn't even that nerdy! It's the Dragon's Lair dorks you need to watch out for. Oh, hi baby. What's wrong?" 
"You haven't seen Steve, have you? His cars outside," Dustin announces, standing under the porch with his wild curls stuffed under a hat, his pulley cart ditched halfway between your yard and his.
"He's in the kitchen. You want some lemonade? You look frazzled," you offer, brushing your hand over his sunburned shoulder lightly as he scoots right past you.
"Thanks, Y/N." Dustin strides into the kitchen with purpose, glaring at Steve pretty heavily as he takes your seat at the table. "Why are you here?" 
"Fucking charming. I came to see you, Henderson, but you're never home. Too busy finding secluded knolls to radio your girlfriend and play karaoke." 
"Dick," Dustin says, though he defrosts as you fill a glass for him. 
"What do you want?" Steve asks him. 
"Why do you assume I want something?" 
"Don’t be coy, you're not Madonna. It's tacky." 
"Dick," Dustin says again, glaring. 
"Dustin, do you want something to eat? You shouldn't go out in the sun all day by yourself, you know? What if you get heat stroke?" you ask. 
Steve gives you a strange look like he's puzzled with you. You smile back at him, hand coming down on the back of Dustin's chair easily. 
"Steve, I need a ride to Mike's," Dustin says, completely ignoring you.
Steve kicks him under the table. "Manners." 
"Can I please have a ride-" 
"To her, dipshit. Jeez, what's wrong with you? She asked if you're hungry." 
Dustin beams at you innocently, soft cheeks rounding. "No thank you Y/N you're a godsend and I appreciate you very much," he says all in a rush, turning back to Steve, the act entirely dropped. "Now can we go?" 
"Christ, fine. I'm gonna get you one of those rewards cards for being a shithead. This incident would be a double stamp, by the way." 
"Uh-huh," Dustin says. 
The younger teen chugs his glass of lemonade and spins off, calling a thank you over his shoulder. Steve gets up to follow him, your old cassette player held carefully in his hands. 
"I'm sorry about him." 
"Don't be. I've known him his entire life. He's in a phase," you inform him with a small grin, shrugging as if to say, what you gonna do? 
"Long phase. Thank you. For the player and the lemonade." 
"You're welcome," you say warmly, walking him to the door. 
Dustin's already in the passenger seat, having taken his pulley cart back inside. He makes a hurry up motion from behind his window and Steve mutters expletives to himself, giving you one last smile before he trudges off. 
The two boys wave at you through the windshield. You wave back.
When Steve's car has winked from view you take your lemonade and paperback outside again to lie under what's left of the sun. You try your best to fall back into the jungle and conjure its sights and sounds, only you keep finding your thoughts wrapped up around a certain boy's laugh and the face he makes as he does, that startled grin, a fist half raised to his mouth. 
-
"Y/N!" A familiar teen voice accompanied by battering knocking at your front door. 
You pull it open, still in your pajamas, hair a mess. His knocking had woken you up. You'd had about ten seconds to check you hadn't drooled too violently in your sleep before he was calling your name, and so you hadn't bothered getting dressed. 
You wish you had. Dustin stood at the door with Steve Harrington behind him, a happy smile on both their faces. 
You try not to flinch as you throw an arm across your chest subconsciously. "Hi?" you ask. "Is everything okay?" 
Dustin's dressed for the beautiful weather in shorts and a shirt with sleeves so short it may as well be a tank top, a hat perched familiarly over his cute curls. Steve is dressed in a tormenting pair of jeans paired with a denim jacket. Double denim. He looks hot, physically and figuratively. 
"Do you wanna come skating?" Dustin asks urgently. 
You blink at him, pulling the edges of your strappy vest down to cover your navel, plaid bottoms low on your hips – you're a mess.  
"Skating? I don't have one." 
"A skateboard?" Dustin asks, shrugging. "Bring your rollerblades." 
You err at the door, leaning your weight against it as you think. "When?" 
"Now!" he says.
"I don't want to hold you up," you say, aimed more towards Steve than Dustin. 
Steve smiles, hooking cheeks pink with the heat, and is about to talk when Dustin says, "He made me come ask you, he's fine to wait." 
You bite back a smirk at Steve's deer-in-the-headlights expression and nod happily. "Alright. Twenty minutes and I'll be ready. If that's okay?" 
"Totally," Steve says. 
You close the door most of the way and catch a look over his shoulder, finding his pretty friend Robin in one seat and a gaggle of Dustin's friends in the back.
You hear a sharp thwarping sound as you spin away followed by a "What the fuck, dude?" from Dustin and hope that he hasn't tripped over one of your flower pots. You get ready and spend at least ten minutes worrying after your appearance in the mirror before grabbing the skates and jetting into the kitchen. You gather as many impromptu snacks you can find and shove them into a grocery bag, struggling to lock the door behind you in want of a free hand. 
Steve jumps out of the driver's side to open the side door for you. You smile gratefully and dump the snacks and your skates in the footwell before climbing in, an empty seat between you and Dustin’s redheaded friend.
You're saved from the awkwardness of seeing people you've met but don't quite know by their ongoing debate, something about which Bruce Springsteen song is best. 
“It’s obviously Dancing in the Dark. I don’t really know why we’re still talking about this,” Robin says from the passenger seat.
“You’re just saying that because it’s his most popular,” the girl next to you says.
“Things are popular for a reason.” Robin shrugs. 
“Yeah, Max. Plus, popular or not, it’s his best.”
Max scrunches up her entire face. “Better than I’m on Fire?”
There’s a long pause where each child deliberates. Dustin and Mike dissolve into fierce looks. 
“Nobodies talking about Born in the USA,” Steve says into the quiet, eyes on the road but head tilted back.
“Shut up, Steve,” Mike says, looking as exhausted as he usually does when you’ve seen him coming in and out of Dustin’s. Though it's been a while, he hasn't changed. Perpetually done with people's shit. 
“Disrespectful,” Steve murmurs. His eyes flash to the rear view, catching you red-handed as you stare at him. “What do you think?” 
“About what?”
“About Springsteen."
You consider him, his smile, his gaggle of cruel children. “I like Born in the USA,” you say nonchalantly.
“That’s two points,” Steve says triumphantly.
The skatepark is pretty busy because of the good weather. You and Steve end up unpacking your snacks onto a blanket Robin lays out whilst the boys go look for their friend Lucas, who's supposedly already here. 
Max doesn't seem pleased with this revelation, sitting down heavily by Steve's picnic basket. Steve offers her a PB&J from the basket and a cold caprisun and she perks up, but not a lot. You want to spend time with Steve, you're not disillusioned into thinking you're anything but a flower under his attention, blooming and wanting, but Max's sad eyes get the better of you. 
Too late for introductions, you dive straight in. “What’s in the Walkman?” you ask, nodding at the player sticking out of her jacket pocket, the foam padded headphones around her neck. 
“Wild Things Run Fast, Joni Mitchell.” It sounds like a question. 
You’ve struck gold immediately. “I love Joni Mitchell! Have you heard her new stuff?”
Max seems alarmed and happy at once, red messy braids swaying as she lifts her chin. “I mean, only what they’ve played on the radio.”
“Her album came out this October, Dog Eat Dog? I have the cassette if you wanna borrow it. It’s amazing.”
“Really?” she asks. She’s peeling the crusts off of her sandwich, one side at a time, dropping them into the small pile of discarded Saran Wrap. 
“For sure. You’ve heard Shiny Toys?” Max nods. “It’s all as good as that one. Seriously.”
“Awesome,” she says, taking a huge bite of her sandwhich. 
You realise you might’ve come on a little strong and try to backtrack into cool territory again, hand brushing Steve’s ankles as you lean away from the poor girl, smiling sheepishly. 
“My mom loves Joni Mitchell,” Robin says.
“Robin," Steve chides lightly.
“What?” 
You and Steve share a look that’s so familiar it gives you pins and needles in your hands, something small between the two of you clicking into place. Or at least that’s how you feel.
Max has almost finished her sandwich by the time Mike returns. “Are you ready?” he asks her.
She clambers onto her feet and grabs her skateboard from behind Steve. The two walk away, a distance from Dustin and Lucas, who both seem to have acquired a pair of skates each. Dustin in knee pads and a helmet, Lucas without. 
“Why would you say Max listens to mom music?” Steve asks incredulously once they’re out of hearing distance. 
Robin shakes her head, similarly incensed. “I didn’t say that.”
“There were so many other things you could’ve said, Robs.” He sounds less mad and more pitying. 
"I didn't say that! I said my mom listens to her. She does!" 
"Don't take offense. Robin got dropped as a baby," Steve says to you offhandedly. 
You know the best course of action here and you take it – in what world would you make an enemy of a boy you might like's best friend who is a girl? Not this one. Plus, Robin seems super nice. 
"I'm not offended. My mom loves Joni too," you say cheerily, smiling at Robin, unabashed.
You're slightly disappointed when she looks away towards her lap, until she says, "Projections a bad look on you, Harrington. He has, like, a flat head," she tells you.
Steve starts yammering loudly. "Shut up! My head's perfect, you're being ridiculous. Perfectly round and ordinary, thank you." 
"Yeah, I'd definitely say your head's perfectly round," you agree through giggles, reaching for your skates.
You have a funny feeling that a silent conversation is happening as you slide off your shoes and into the skates, lacing up tight, but when you look up Robin's sifting through the accumulated snack pile and Steve's looking the opposite way, towards the kids. 
You clear your throat. "Are you guys gonna skate too?"
"Steve is." 
"I didn't bring-" 
"He's borrowing mine. It's too hot, I can't skate. And I don't have the coordination, anyway."
Steve looks at Robin, at you, Robin again. "I'm not good," he says. You take it for yes. 
Steve gets on his skates and straps out of his denim jacket, exposing the distracting lengths of his arms. He's better than he gives himself credit for, steady on his feet. He knows how to stop and start, and you smile to yourself when the two of you skate off towards Dustin and Lucas, following their journey around the skate park, careful to stay clear of the bowls and rails. 
"You're good! You said you weren't good!" you say to him. 
"I'm not good." 
"You're doing great!" 
He smiles gratefully, the expression at home over his warm features. He's not really a very smiley guy, you've realised, his lips often pulled up into a grimace or a cruel approximation of a smile, sarcastic. It suits him. You go to say as much, eyes eating up every little detail of him. 
"Hey Steve? You should-" and your foot pops over a rock. 
You shriek and throw your arm out towards him. Steve catches you with impressive strength and speed as your leg buckles. You've quickly righted yourself and he brings you to a slow but not quite stop. Stopping on skates is easier said than done, especially old skates with the front guards already worn down. 
"Are you okay?" he asks. 
You've taken his hand without thinking, the two of you widening apart and then coming together like the eclipse of a blinking eye. 
You pull your hand away apologetically, the warmth of his palm lingering. 
"I'm sorry!" you say. 
"Don’t be. Last thing I wanna do is have you crack your head open on my watch. I’m glad you didn’t wipe out." 
"Thanks to you." 
You slow and stop. Steve does the same, the two of you clumsy for different reasons. He watches as you calm your racing heart. 
"Shit, I really thought I was gonna fall. You're a lifesaver." You stare straight into his eyes, their sunlight honey brown, smiling with complete genuineness. He's more than pretty. "Thank you." 
Steve swallows and his smile is warmer, somehow, impossibly warmer. Maybe it's the beautiful weather, maybe it's the beautiful boy. You suddenly feel very, very hot. 
"I think I might need to sit down." 
"Oh, shit," he says, reaching for your arm. You're about to correct his touching – you're not dizzy, just a little nauseous. Only, his hand. His fingers clasped around your elbow, his face fiercely protective. 
You let him guide you back to the picnic blanket. One hand around your elbow, the other behind your sun-warmed back, and somehow his hand is the hottest spot. 
"Are you okay?" Robin asks, shielding her eyes from the sun. The book in her lap slips shut as she straightens. 
"She's okay," Steve says. “Too hot. Budge up." 
Robin moves over on the blanket and throws the basket open. Steve reaches in for a capri sun and passes it to you. It's lukewarm, though the day is so hot it's a relief to drink it. 
"Steve's really good," you tell her after a noisy suck, the orange plastic straw stabbing your lip. You frown down at it.
"I saw you guys whizzing around. Public menaces, both of you," Robin says, though she smiles as she does. You know she's joking. You don't want to think it in case it's not true, but you feel like maybe she wants to be friends. 
"We prefer speed demons," Steve says easily, still kneeling at your side. 
"They should lock you up." 
You snort and almost squirt juice from your nose, spluttering and coughing as you bend at the waist. Steve pats your back less than gently and then more so as you move your hand towards him. 
"I'm okay," you cough, embarrassed at how you must look hacking your lungs out. 
Steve's hand, again on your back, rubs a stern line. "Chill out, Y/N. You can't die before dinner." 
"We're getting McDonald's," Robin supplies. 
"Don't tell the kids," he says, smirking. 
He's still rubbing your back. You suspect you might agree to anything while he's this close. 
"You sound like such a dad when you say shit like that." 
Steve scowls at Robin's words and pulls his hands away, crossing them over his chest. "Don't say that. Babysitter is more than enough, don't you think? Y/N?" 
"An older brother?" you suggest to Robin's extreme delight. 
She laughs. Steve scrubs at his face with both hands until his eyes are red. 
-
Robin's sick and Steve's going crazy by himself, manning the desk at FV with almost no energy and even less enthusiasm. A week since he'd held your hand and he can't seem to stop thinking about it. 
He catches himself staring at his own empty palm and clenches his fist, bringing his eyes back to the door in case someone walks in and he has to pull off the headphones of your borrowed cassette player. 
Steve had discovered a forgotten cassette inside, listening to it out of curiosity the night you'd given him the player and then every night since then. He felt guilty about keeping it without saying anything but he was only borrowing it, he reasoned. He'd give it back when Dustin fixed his skipping Walkman.  
The tape was Van Halen II. And Steve's not stupid, he knows who Van Halen are, but he's never sat and listened through any of their full albums. Now he can't stop, constantly rewinding back to the same song, over and over. 
He does so now, fingers clumsy and too big over small buttons until the first line kicks in, powerful and high energy like a burst of fresh air. 
Have you seen her?
So fine and pretty.
He grins as it plays, thinking of you instantly. Your smile and your legs, the wind whipping at your skirt and exposing stretches of skin he can't stop remembering. You on your rollerblades, the second time after an emergency PB&J, skating in front of him without looking behind you. 
"Don't let me crash into someone, okay?" you'd asked, swaying from one side to the other as you shifted your weight. 
"It'll be too late to stop you if I see someone! Turn around!" he'd demanded, though his fondness had peeked through. 
You'd thrown your hands out. "You'll have to steer me!" 
And so he'd grabbed your hands and you'd laughed like a fool as you skated together, squealing through close calls and bumpy ground. 
He thinks of your hands in his, their weight and size, the magnetic pulse he'd felt between them, how happy you'd seemed to be with him. 
He was harbouring a crush on you. Too old to deny what it feels like to want a pretty girl, Steve wonders if this is entirely a good idea – letting himself like you when the possibility of rejection feels high. You are, as Dustin had promised him, out of Steve's league. "Don't try your luck, dude." 
Steve thought for a second that his thinking about you had summoned your image, your easy walk and the elegant way about your hands and how you held them, in a blue dress with matching strappy mary-jane's, white socks with the ruffle tops. He blinks. No way he could think up anything as pretty. 
You push open the door and grin from across the room, a large tupperware of some type in your hands. His eyes move up from your fingers where they clutch plastic, your wrist, your arms. The puff sleeves of your dress are short and cuffed, similar to the matching ruched neckline that shows enough to make him swallow. A necklace lays in the valley of your chest, a silver chain with a blue flower at the end, small but thick. Five round petals, a cutout missing that shows a circle of your chest beneath. 
"Steve," you say, like you'd been in mid conversation. "Please tell me you have a sweet tooth."
He pulls the headphones from his head and leaves them around his neck, fixing his hair as casually as he can when he says, "Sure, I like candy." 
You set your container down on the counter and crack it open, the rich, buttery smells of its contents quickly filling the room.
"I made penuche for Dustin's mom's birthday, but I made so-" you drag the word out, lips a gloss-sticky 'o', "much of it. I can't eat it all. And she said I wasn't allowed to give it to Dustin 'cos he keeps using the f-word." 
His laugh is startled but genuine. "Not the f-word." 
The fudge is a light brown, almost pink in the neon tinted lighting. It smells divine, and he's saved from an internal debate about what's cool when you push the tub towards him. "Do you like fudge?" you ask him.
He takes one and you take one, and he tries not to look at you as you eat, or when you scratch gloss and a crumb from the corner of your mouth. 
"You’re a modern Martha Stewart," Steve says happily.
"Only on special occasions. Where's Robin?" you ask, elbows braced on the counter and leaning in. 
"Sick. Apparently." 
"Apparently," you repeat, grinning. "What, she didn't look sick?" 
"She talked to me on the phone. She sounded sick," he concedes. "Good things it's Thursday." 
You look around the completely empty store. "This is what it usually looks like on a Thursday?" 
"It's Hawkins. Half the people here get their VHS from the library, the others drive out to Blockbuster. We get about as much foot traffic as an ice cream stand in September." 
"It's 'cos you take too long to get the new ones,'' you say. "No offense." 
"The tone of someone personally victimised by a Family Video wait list." 
"You got me. I've been trying to get the Breakfast Club for two months!" you complain, scratching your chest lazily. 
Steve crosses his arms over his chest until his hands are hidden, rolling his eyes. "Oh, so this is bribery penuche." 
You blink at him and then your lips part in horror, pretty eyes widening. "No!" 
"It totally is. You're trying to butter me up," he says, suave tone disrupted by the need to giggle at his own pun. "Y/N, how could you? Here I thought we were starting to be friends and you're using me for my video store?" 
His mock horror puts you eat ease when you realise he's joking. "I really wanna see that movie," you say dejectedly. You reach for another piece of fudge and bite it in half, your chewing morose. "It feels like everybody saw it at the movies but me." 
"Of course they did. Why didn't you?" 
You glare at him. "I was busy!" 
"For the month it was in theatres?" 
"Yes!" you defend yourself from his teasing. "I have things to do!" 
"Like what?" 
"Like school!" 
"Everybody has school." 
"You're picking on me after I brought you candy. This is so cruel." You don't sound like you've suffered any cruelty. Steve might say you're really enjoying yourself. 
"Sorry, sweetheart."
You glare at his insincere pet name. "Whatever. Oh, hey, how's she treating you?" you ask, eyes on the cassette player. "Steve, you have my Van Halen tape! Thank god, I thought I lost it."
"Right. Sorry, I meant to give it back," he lies. 
You shrug your shoulders. "Keep it however long you want to. It's good, right? Which one's your favourite?"
He pulls the headphones out and rewinds back before setting the player in front of you. You raise your eyebrows at him but click play, and the audio starts abruptly, loud and mid quality. 
Yes, it's love in the third degree. 
You grin, head bobbing, eyes flitting to his with approval written all over your face. You don't seem to hesitate before you sing along under your breath, high pitched but quiet.
"Ooh, baby baby. Won't-cha turn your head my way?" 
He feels a little enchanted by you, that same magnetism he'd felt between his hands, can't believe how pretty you are and how sweetly you move. You laugh at yourself as you sing the next line, an intense, almost theatrical look upon your face. Like you're swooning.
"Ooh, baby baby. Ah come on! Take a chance, you're old enough to-" You flare your eyes at him and nod, mouth open encouragingly. 
He won't join in, no matter how electric he finds you. You roll your eyes and your shoulders roll in a half-dance as you hum along to the chorus. 
Dance the night away. 
"You're no fun, Steve," you complain, giggling. 
"You're enough for the two of us." 
You peer over the counter, still moving with the music as you ask, "What were you doing? Before I came in?" 
"Looking through the computer at what's late being returned. Riveting, extremely hard work." 
"Do you get, like, secret intel on what new movies are coming in?" 
"Sure we do. Wanna see?" he asks. 
You creep around the counter and stand by his side. He scrolls through the system and translates acronyms for you. "This is the coming in," he says, drawing a line down a list of movie names. "These are what's being moved back to the headquarters."
"Headquarters," you repeat, leaning in to see the screen more clearly. You browse the new titles idly, slipping closer and closer to the computer. 
"You'll burn your retinas." 
"Invaders from Mars, Youngblood, Black Moon Rising," you list thoughtfully. You turn on your heel. "I don't know any of those. You got a chic-flicks section?" 
You're really close. Steve looks at you, this close, this pretty, his hands itching to touch you. He leans in and your arms fall to your sides, the space between you growing ever smaller. 
"We do," he says slowly, eye to eye, almost daring you to look at his mouth instead. He wants you to. He wants to look at yours. 
You're steadfast, not impassive but certainly unreadable as you say, "Show me?" 
Steve reaches for the mouse behind you like he was always intending to, hiding any smugness he feels when you exhale noticeably. You turn back around, his arm brushing over yours as he sorts through the tag system to show you "ROM-COM INCO". 
"These are all the ones we have coming in. You know any of those?" 
"Hannah and Her Sisters. I saw that one." 
"Finally had some free time?" he asks wryly. 
"Shut up, Steve." 
"You know… I can keep the Breakfast Club for you. Next time it comes in." 
The smile you give him is blinding. "Thanks, Steve." 
"Yeah, no problem." He hopes the sudden increase in temperature is mutual. 
-
Your backyard is a field of flowers. Maybe dramatic, but Steve's never seen so many, a heavy green spotted in chartreuse, vermillion, bright oranges and pink-white. You lay on a towel in the grass surrounded by them, the sun lighting you up, your skin glowing and perfect. 
You're in black, spandex type shorts and a bikini top. Steve feels like a perv for looking, so he clears his throat. You don't budge. 
He creeps closer. You're in headphones listening to your Walkman. He can hear the music from where he stands at your backdoor, so it must be loud. He stands over you and hopes his shadow will wake you up. When it still doesn't he gets concerned, kneeling down carefully with his knees digging into your towel. 
"Y/N. Hey," he says. 
Still nothing. 
He pulls your headphones off gently, looking over your face in worry. You must be sleeping. 
"Y/N, you shouldn't sleep out here. You'll get sun stroke," he says. He strokes your arm though he shouldn't. He can't help himself, his fingers pressing into the crook of your elbow.
You blink awake and then slam your eyes closed. Steve adjusts himself to block the sun from your face and you manage to pry your eyes open, confused.
"Hello." 
"Hey," he says. He can't help the fondness that plays over his smile.
"Shit." Your eyes go wide and you cover your chest with your arm. "I'm naked." 
"You're not naked," he says. 
"I'm naked. Stop looking at me." 
Steve turns away obligingly. 
"Stop laughing at me, Harrington." 
"Is there anything I'm allowed to do?" he asks, though he does stop laughing.
"I'm so embarrassed. I was sunbathing and I must've fallen asleep." 
Steve lets his eyes stray to your naked thigh. He stares at your skin, follows a stretch mark upwards and then swiftly peels his gaze away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a total perv. I can go wait in my car." 
"You're not a perv. I'm being a priss. Sorry. I know I'm not, like, a model and I wasn't expecting to have this much skin on show. I don't look like Nancy Wheeler."
You sound more nervous than Steve has ever heard you. Worse, you sound dejected, though you've tried for nonchalance. Steve stares at you until you raise your chin, your fingers pinching meanly at your thighs. 
"You're messing with me," he says.
"What?" you ask, incredulous. "I'm not messing with you." 
"You gotta know you're beautiful. That's, like, a stone cold fact. A hard truth. You're beautiful. Who cares if you don't look like Nance?" 
You sigh, though it's not very believable when you're smiling so much. "She's really pretty." 
"So are you." 
"You know what I mean, Steve. She's… small." 
"She's a small woman," he agrees. "That doesn't make her prettier than you." 
"You're sure?" you ask quietly. 
Steve means it a hundred percent when he says, "I'm sure." 
The two of you sit there for a few seconds. He can hear your breathing and he's wondering if you can hear his. 
"What are you doing here?" you ask. 
Your hand is still held across your stomach but you're thankfully looking more relaxed. Steve meant what he said, you're beautiful, he couldn't care less that you're taller or that you weigh more than his ex. You're fucking pretty, and seeing you all laid out and sun kissed has made him kind of crazy. 
"Steve?" you ask. 
"Oh. I brought you The Breakfast Club. Just got it back in this morning," he rushes to say, grabbing the VHS tape from where he'd left it on the ground. The Family Video spine is glaringly ugly compared to you and your flowers. 
"Woah, thank you!" 
"You're welcome. It's under my name though, so don't keep it late. Can't disprespect the FV name. I'm going for employee of the month." 
You giggle. "You are? Are you the top contender?" 
"Nope." 
You laugh some more, the sound delicate and sweet as spun sugar, in Steve's humble opinion. 
"Not that my fellow employees try any harder, but Keith just picks himself every month for the free credits." 
You rub your fingers across the front of the box. "I won't be late. I mean, I'll watch it today, I've been so excited to see it." 
Steve stands up. "Sorry to disturb your idyllic sunbathing." 
"Idyllic," you murmur, smiling. "You're good, Steve. Thank you for the movie." 
"You're welcome. I'll see you later?" he asks, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, slowly backing away. 
"No," you say. He raises his eyebrows and you look sheepish but not shy when you continue, "Do you wanna stay? Watch the movie with me? I have stovetop popcorn and soda and everything." 
"What about the great weather? You don't wanna waste it." 
You force your hands between your thighs and hunch forward slightly. "I do wanna waste it. I mean, I've had enough for today, don't you think? I'm a half hour from heat stroke." 
"You're looking pretty warm," he says. Anything to take you up on your offer without sounding too interested. 
-
You're trying not to give Steve the side eye. Trying, but he's very attractive and very close, and he keeps making funny jokes. It's annoying how hot he is. 
Steve has slouched back and his jeans have slowly edged down, exposing the flesh of his hip. Not that you've noticed, or anything. 
You cram a big handful of popcorn into your mouth and flick your eyes back to the screen. You'd really wanted to see this movie but Steve keeps capturing your attention, again and again, over and over. You can't believe you'd asked him to stay and he had, can't believe he brought the VHS for you in the first place. 
That's a dedicated employee right there. 
You shuffle closer to him under the guise of sharing your popcorn. Your shoulders touch. 
"Thanks," he says. His thigh hits your thigh as he takes a handful. 
"Steve," you say softly. 
"What?" 
"I don't feel well. I think the sun killed me." 
He throws his arm around the back of the couch and twists, careful not to upend the popcorn bowl as he looks over you searchingly. You've seen Steve play caretaker before, but being under his watch is different. He's almost a different person as he checks you over. 
"You feel sick?" he asks. He holds his hand out between you, his knuckles at your eye level. "Can I?" 
You tilt your head back and close your eyes. Steve presses the back of his hand to your forehead and pets down softly, feeling for your temperature. 
"You're still really warm. Let's get you cooled down." 
Steve springs up and knocks the bowl. You blink, slightly disoriented as he disappears into the kitchen, picking up spilled popcorn off of the couch and eating it with slow chews. Now you think of it, your arms hurt, too.
Steve returns and sits on the edge of the sofa, a bag of peas in his hand. "I raided your freezer. Lean your head back." 
"I'm fine," you say, but tilt your head back anyways, gasping when the cold hits you.  
"You might actually get heatstroke. Do you know how dangerous heat stroke is? You need to cool down. Where's the A/C?" 
"It's on." 
Steve feels along your cheek gingerly. "I can't believe you fell asleep outside. What's that about?" He pauses. "Are you sleeping okay?" 
"I'm sleeping fine." 
"Are you sure?" 
His wrist turns and you feel the pad of his fingers rather than the back, the palm of his hand as he cups your face. 
You peek through your lashes at him. His eyebrows are pinched and his bottom lip juts out in a concerned pout. 
"You can tell me." 
The way he says it – well, you imagine you could tell him anything. He sounds warm and worried. This close you can smell his cologne, something heavy with sage, a little bit of lilac hidden under unmistakable bergamot. It's all so comforting and the sun has loosened your tongue. 
"Maybe not so much. It's… it's hot. You know? And…" 
"What?" he murmurs. Your heart skips as his thumb rubs over your cheek. 
You close your eyes like your confession might take form. "I'm kind of lonely, lately," it sounds like a question, "and it's- it keeps me up sometimes. I don't know, it sounds stupid when I say it out loud." 
"It doesn't sound stupid." 
"No?" 
"No, I get it." He pulls away but doesn't move too far, his hand still holding the freezing peas to your forehead, the other brushing against your arm as he drops it in his lap. "These days Dustin doesn't leave me alone. I don't want him to, either. The same with Robs." 
You let your head loll to the side. Steve doesn't look shy or scared to tell you, talking almost matter of fact. "But my parents were never home when I was in high school. They still aren't. I felt it more back then." 
"Yeah. I don't know. I never see anybody. Besides Dustin," you say. "We have him in common." 
"You see me." 
"When I'm annoying you at work." 
"You don't annoy me." He's stern though he abruptly turns into a conspirator whispering secrets. "Robin's fuse gets shorter with me everyday." 
"How come?" you ask, co-conspirator. 
"I can't stop watching the door." 
You lift your head. Steve takes back his bag of peas and feels along your forehead, now cold enough to ache. 
"Here, hold these to your chest. I'd do it for you, but…" 
You take the peas and hide a terrible smile, heart racing between your ears. Your nausea has flipped  completely into butterflies and they're rabid, knocking at your abdomen insistently. 
You're trying to think of a way to make him say nice things again when there's a knock at the door. 
"Dustin," you both say. 
"Jinx, buy me a soda," Steve says. 
You glare at him and he laughs all the way to the door. 
"Why are you always here? Where's Y/N?" 
"She's got heat stroke." 
"I don't!" you call hoarsely. 
"You sound like you do," Dustin says. "Can one of you give me a ride?" 
"She has heat stroke." 
You climb onto the back of the sofa to look down the hallway. Dustin stands at the front door with a huge piece of engineering in his arms that you don't understand, wires and ciricuits and things. 
"Remeber when you used to bike everywhere? What happened to that?" Steve asks, sounding majorly pissed. You can't work out why he's so frustrated but it makes you laugh again. 
The two boys turn to you with twin looks of confusion. 
"I can't bike there, genius. This won't fit in the basket." 
You laugh again, twice as loud. 
"What's wrong with her?" Dustin asks, shaking his head. 
"What don't you understand about heat stroke?
"Potential heat stroke," you interject.  
"She fell asleep in the sun. I don't know how long she was out there her brain might be totally jellified, dude." 
"You should take her to the hospital."
You clamber onto aching limbs and walk until your behind Steve, reaching for his elbow automatically. "I'm fine, babe. What's your doohickey?" 
Dustin smirks and pulls the weight closer to his chest. "Prototype." 
"For what?" 
"Top secret." 
You giggle some more, wobbling with the force of it. Steve sighs and wraps his arm around your back, his hand under your arm to grip you at the ribs. 
Dustin gets wide eyes like a looney tunes character. "What's going on here?" 
"Nothing," Steve hisses. "Look, let me set Y/N up with the works and I'll drive you where you want to go, you brat." 
Dustin drops his suspicion, having got what he wants. "I'll wait in the car. Feel better!" 
"That's three stamps on the shithead card, shithead!" Steve calls after him. The two of you watch his retreating figure and then Steve is manhandling you (not too roughly) down the hallway and back onto the sofa. 
"I'm not dying, Steve." 
Steve puts your popcorn bowl in your lap and the frozen peas back on your chest. He fills your glass either the warming carafe on the coffee table and then bends down to talk to you, entirely too intense. 
"Are you good?" he asks. 
"Perfect. I don't even feel hot anymore." 
He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, okay. Listen, I'm gonna go drop Dustin off, and then I'm gonna call you to make sure you're not dead." 
"You don't have to do that, Steve," you say, moving down into the couch, a cushion falling over as you do. He straightens it out, cups your face in his hand so fast you think you've imagined it and then squints at you. 
"Don't die of heat stroke." 
He starts to walk away and you're startled. Unfairly, you don't want him to go, and you call, "Steve?" 
"Yeah?" 
"What about The Breakfast Club?" 
He grins at you, a lazy, King Steve kind of smile. "I was always gonna leave that here. So you can come 'annoy' me at work when you return it." He pulls a hand through his hair and gives you a once over and then spins on his heel. "Make sure you answer when I call!" 
You lose sight of him as he leaves, the couch backing too tall. He shuts the door kindly and you can just about hear the crunch of gravel as his car pulls away. 
"He was definitely flirting with me," you say to yourself, pouring a sweet handful of popcorn into your mouth. You're smiling so wide it's hard to chew. 
-
Dustin bursts into Family Video with his small entourage, Mike and Lucas, and an urgent look on his face. Steve quickly stops his facade of being busy when he clocks them.
"What? Need to borrow ten dollars?" he asks, rolling his eyes. 
"Actually, it's about Y/N," Dustin says. 
Steve stretches across the desk on his elbows. 
"What about her?" he asks, suspecting a waste of time.
"She was crying her eyes out in her backyard last night." 
Steve blinks, feeling a pit open up in his chest. "What? Why?" 
"Well…" Dustin says. "I didn't ask." 
Steve pictures your pretty face crinkled with tears, sitting on the paving stones outside your house. He wonders what would make you cry, sob, whatever it was. You'd confessed to being lonely though he sort of hopes that the feeling has ebbed now that he's calling you every day. At first, under the guise of checking up on you, but, I don't think I'm at risk of heat stroke anymore Steve. It's been a week and a half. 
Better safe than sorry. 
"Nancy said she saw her outside outside Bradley's Big Buy last night looking miserable," Mike adds, in one of his worst outfits, a mismatch of colours and long socks, a visor that Steve once tried to bribe Dustin to destroy on a hot day with his magnifying glass. The small burned spot perseveres at the caps edge. 
Steve feels weirdly proud at their concern and better, their detective skills. The three of them look like they could solve crimes, a mystery gang. Lucas is the only one dressed well in Steve's opinion, though that might be because he's in similar fashion, a nice polo and blue jeans. 
"You don't know what's wrong with her?" Lucas asks.
His pride wanes. "Oh, you guys are here for gossip?" he asks scathingly. 
"No!" 
"You're her boyfriend, right?" 
"Not-" Steve swallows, "exactly." 
Robin, who had been listening from her stool a few feet back, strides over and falls into place by his side, braced by her elbows. 
"If Steve were her boyfriend, we'd know why she was crying," she says, earning a round of boyish chuckles. 
Steve nods and then understands her meaning, feeling stupid for assuming Robin would say something that wasn't mean while at work. "Fuck off, I'm a good boyfriend." 
Four sets of eyebrows raise. 
"I am! I'm romantic." 
"You smashed our trellis and dislodged a drain pipe," Mike says. 
Steve pins the dark haired boy with a smarted look. 
"Sorry, is that not romantic? Sneaking out to see a girl?" 
"Sneaking in to a young woman's bedroom," Robin says dryly. 
"Pervert style," Dustin agrees sagely.
"Jesus Christ." Steve turns away from his band of adopted heathens and takes the phone into his hand. "I'm gonna call her." 
"And what? Tell her we were spying?" Dustin says. 
Steve holds the cold plastic to his neck. "Were you?" 
"Girls lie about their feelings, anyway. You're never gonna get a straight answer," Lucas says morosely. "Trust me." 
He slams the phone down. "What am I supposed to do?" 
They stand in a heavy silence. Steve can feel a headache clipping his heels, approaching fast, stress and a sharp worry for you. He really doesn't see why he can't call you and check in. 
"Something nice?" Robin suggests, picking at her nails. 
"Like what?" he asks. Though, as soon as he says it, he already has the beginnings of an idea. Whether its a good one or not is anyones guess. 
-
Somebody knocks the door and all you can think is, oh god why me? 
You're in a bad approximation of pajamas - your comfiest and yet your sloppiest, old and worn and unattractive. Fresh out of a stress-cry shower, you've only just managed to catch your breath. 
It's like you told Steve, everything lately feels so lonely. You'd gone grocery shopping by yourself and had known without a doubt that you were moving unseen through the world. Something about deciding between TV dinners. Nobody knew where you were, what you were doing, or where you were going. The only people seeing you were the storegoers of Bradley's Big Buy and your disgruntled cashier. You doubt you'd made a good impression. 
It was maybe a silly thing to feel overwhelmed by, but you felt it anyways. Sick with loneliness and then panic. A thousand what ifs had filled your head; you couldn't stop thinking, what if it's like this forever? 
What if I feel this lonely forever? 
You'd finished grocery shopping with a peculiar numbness weighing you down and then you'd gone home to cry in the garden, comforted and horrified by your flowers. They were pretty and you'd planted them and it didn't matter, you were still alone. A ladybug had crawled over the nearest planter and you'd watched it until you calmed down, knees crossed and elbows digging into your thighs, pins and needles in your hands. 
Another insistent knock. You consider ignoring it and curling up into a ball. Something hooks you out of it. What if it's Steve? 
If it's Steve, you're gonna feel very embarrassed about your appearance. You check your reflection in the sheen of a photo frame and sigh, rubbing your face with one hand as you open the door. 
Steve stands a few feet away, leaning against the side of his car with a pair of shades slipping down his nose. He takes them off.
You're so happy to see him you forget your rumpled outfit. 
"Hi," you say, half-shouting to cover the distance. 
"Hey beautiful!" Steve shouts, properly, loud and unabashed.
The door digs into your tummy. You don't know what to say. His compliment flusters you from the get go. 
"Hi," you say again, laughing under your breath. 
"Hey." 
"What are you doing here?" 
"Somebody told me you weren't feeling well!" 
You frown, thoughts racing, and suddenly summon the image of your nosey young neighbour. You take a step back instinctively and Steve must see it because his face goes stony. 
"I'm sorry, I know you probably didn't want me to know. But- when I found out you were upset, I couldn't ignore that. You'll have to forgive me." 
You try pushing the smile off your face with your hand and stand there scratching your top lip. "No. No, it's okay." 
He raises his eyebrows and takes a few big steps towards your house. You step out onto the porch and he closes the space between you, holding his hands out. You take them and he envelopes you, warm hands pulling you along and up the path. 
He walks backwards. "Don't let me crash into someone, okay?" 
A memory. The two of you hand in hand, ground flashing under your skates. 
"Okay," you say weakly. 
He squeezes your hands and drops them, a foot from the car. "Stay," and he doesn't finish, turning away from you. He opens the passenger door, the door behind and then the trunk. 
The smell is beautiful. A floral wave. 
The sight is something else. A carpet of bunches, bell-shaped freesias and carnations, roses in darkest red, chrysanthemums, dahlias, tiny orchids and irises; gorgeous purple irises with white centred petals buffeted by frilly sweetpeas. 
"They didn't want to give me the buckets but I told them I had a really pretty girl waiting for me, and if they suffocated in the heat then I was gonna drive right back and complain loudly." He stands by your side and nudges you. "Break out in tears." 
"That's a lot of flowers," you mumble. 
"Half the store. The other half's on standby." 
"Standby?" 
"I worried you might not have the space." 
"I won't." 
Your gaze flits over soft petals and light green stems, thorns and leaves and greenery, baby breath tucked in by plastic wrapping. 
"Why did you do this?" 
"You…" he laughs at himself. "Okay, so. The day you had heat stroke-" 
"I didn't have heat stroke. I had heat exhaustion." 
"Semantics. You were lying in the backyard. Just… sleeping. I was waiting for you to look up and see me, and I couldn't- I still can't get the image out of my head. You looked unreal." 
You feel hot all over as he searches for words. He's smiling wide as he talks, like he can't believe how happy he is. It's infectious. 
He shakes his head. "Anyway, I know you like flowers. Obviously. So." 
"So you got me a florists?"
"Half." 
You hug your torso. The idea that somebody would do this for you, that Steve would do this for you, is so alien you can't comprehend it. 
"They're for me?" you whisper. 
"For you. All of them." 
You look at him, the flowers, him again, and start to laugh. You throw your hands up to your cheeks and giggle like a little kid. 
"Why are you laughing?" he asks, an undeniable affection in his curiosity. 
"Why would you do this for me?" you ask in a similar tone. 
He purses his lips and shrugs. "You could've called me. I want you to know that." 
You scrub your hot cheeks and shift from foot to foot. "I was being silly." 
"It's not silly. It's not stupid. And even if it was, I still want you to call me. These are 'call me' flowers. Call me first." 
You wrap your hand around the top of the door and lean in for a look at the sea of flowers. Pollen sticks sweet in your nose. 
"Do you like them?" 
The smallest hint of insecurity. You can't stop laughing, joy warping every word. "Yeah, I love them," you say over your shoulder, feeling as though you've become nothing but a vestibule of breathless wonder. 
"I didn't know which one was your favourite." 
All of them, you think. Not sure you could pick one, your eyes bump from bouquet to bouquet. 
You try to blink them away but tears form quickly, lashes heavy with them as you stand up straight and wipe under your eyes with the back of your index finger. 
"Thank you, Steve." 
"You're welcome." Steve comes up behind you and takes your shoulder into his hand, thumb rubbing roughly over your shirt. "C'mon, don't cry. I got you all those flowers because I don't want you to cry, not to make it worse." 
"They're really pretty," you say, strained, pushing the bottoms of your palms into your eyes to stop from sobbing. That would be dramatic, you argue with yourself, so dramatic, but this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you. 
"Shit," he mutters. 
You tense up as his hand moves across your back to grip your other shoulder and he hugs you to his chest, left hand stroking the length of your upper arm, encouraging your hands from your face. 
"You're okay, baby," he says. 
You sniffle as his right hand climbs your shoulder to cup your neck. He pulls your face to his mouth and presses a kiss into your temple, warm and tingling, firecrackers under the skin. You turn your face to look at him and he pulls back, his chin jutting down. 
The shape of his lips lingers on your forehead, a burn. White hot.
Steve wipes the tear tracks from your face with the side of his hand.
"I know what'll cheer you up," he says. 
You miss his touch as soon as he's gone. He leans over the passenger seat, the chair and its footwell both bursting with flowers, and turns on the radio. You watch him click to the cassette player. He turns the volume up high and then pulls out. 
Slowly, the song builds into a zinging guitar. 
"Oh my god." 
"Have you seen her? So fine and so pretty," Steve sings with no hesitation. You're startled by his confidence.
"Fooled me with her style and ease," he continues, holding out his hand. 
You take it, listening to him fight his way to the right pitch, his voice cracking.
"And I feel her from across the room-" He takes your second hand, gaze electric. "Yes, it's love in the third degree." 
He tugs at your hand, nodding until you join in.
"Ooh, baby, baby," you sing weakly, searching for footing. 
"Won't-cha turn your head my way?" he begs. 
"Ooh, baby, baby," you both sing, Steve with more passion, pulling your arm one way and another in an awkward dance. 
"Come on, take a chance, you're old enough to," and here's where you both go weak and high and enthused all at once, glad the stereo's up so high you can't really hear it when you both shout, "dance the night away!" 
It's not quite night yet. You've a lot of dancing to do if you're gonna listen to Van Halen's instructions, the sun a half-disk of gold on the horizon, the sky raspberry pink bleeding up into darkening indigo. 
Steve grins at your growing enthusiasm and twirls you around. You only allow him this, too afraid to step on his toes as you come to a stop. 
He hums along and you clutch his hand. You covet the other where it's held to his chest, pushing your fingers through his. They fit together perfectly. 
"Am I ever gonna get that tape back?" you ask. 
"No," he says, laughing loudly. "No way. I love this song." 
"I love this song too. That's why I bought the album." 
"You said however long I wanted!" 
"I didn't think you'd stick around this long," you confess. 
"I did," he says. He leans down, stops. "Can I kiss you?"
You nod and beat him to it, hand at his collar as you step on your toes and press your mouth to his. You're both smiling, your eyes closed tight and your lips tight together until he pulls back, pulling his hand from your brushing grip to stroke the side of your face, rough in his rush. 
When you come back together it's slower, your lips parted mid-giggle as he moves in. You sigh, a high-pitched and embarrassing sound from the back of your throat that's quickly swallowed by his ardency. 
"Stop laughing at me," he admonishes playfully. 
"I'm not! I'm not, I'm really happy," you defend yourself, setting back on your heels. 
You've forgotten all about your pajamas and the icky feeling in your chest. With Steve's palms to your cheeks like this – like you're something worth being cradled in careful hands – you can't feel anything but happy. 
"I don't have enough vases for your flowers," you apologise as he chases you down, dropping kisses over the corner of your mouth and the apple of your cheek. 
"Good thing I begged for all those buckets," he says, brown eyes squinting with the force of his cherubic smile. His pert nose flares with a silent laugh. 
"Good thing," you agree. 
He holds you by the shoulders. "Good thing," he says again. 
You descend into another round of laughter that leaves you panting for air, your head dropping into his chest. "A really good thing." 
"I didn't go overboard, did I?" he asks, petting the nape of your neck.
"You did." 
"Sorry, I-" 
You wrap your arms around his waist and squeeze him as hard as you can. He groans lightly as he encircles your shoulders, the tip of his nose a butterfly's wing against your forehead, impossibly light and skipping, back and forth and back again. 
"I'm gonna make you flower shortbread," you say eventually, soaking in his warmth, his closeness. 
"Yeah?" 
"I swear. And more penuche. What's your favourite? I'll make you whatever you want. What do you have a sweet tooth for?" 
"Could I get another kiss?" he asks quietly.
You tilt your head back and wait. Steve isn't quite smiling though his eyes boast an emotion you're afraid to name, unbearably fond. 
"Are you gonna kiss me again?" you ask into the gap. 
"In a sec, just… let me look at you," he says, hand cupping your cheek. 
You blink back a stinging wave of tears and smile, tracing over his features greedily.
"You're beautiful," he says. 
It’s funny. You were thinking the same thing about him.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thanks for reading!
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reallytryin · 1 year
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I miss u too. I hope your doin ok 🫶🏼
April *finger guns* 😉 how ya doin
HEY *finger guns back* i’m okay!!! been struggling with some mental health stuff but the past week has been a lot better (,: WBU??? i miss you!
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reallytryin · 1 year
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what if I helped you? We could collab or sum 😋
i miss writing /:
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Write then dumb bitch 🫶🏼💗😻😻
i miss writing /:
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Omg this is so cute. 🫶
State of Grace - Conrad Fisher
a/n: this is my first post, so please go easy on me, but feedback is always appreciated (just do it respectfully)!!!!! also, im so obsessed with conrad rn it’s scary, like ik he’s summer bf material, but the way belly described him in book 2 during the winter is making me feral
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Conrad Fisher is many things; a scholar, a surfer, a son, a friend. But most importantly, the one he prided himself most upon was that he was yours.
And today solidified that. Conrad and you were looking for your first house, your forever home. It was a hard conversation to have, discussing where you want to live, if moving into the summer house was best, if you were mentally and financially ready. In the end, you came to the conclusion that now was the time. So, you contacted the realtor, and scheduled a couple tours. That brought you and Conrad to where you are now:
“Are you sure this passed inspection? It doesn’t seem very safe.” Conrad asked wearily. Out of all the versions of Conrad you’ve met, you’ve never quite seen him like this. Nervous. You’ve already looked at 2 houses, yet none of them appeased his nerves. Of course, there were things you were nervous about too, but they were all fixable. It seemed like you’d never find a place.
“Yes, Connie. They wouldn’t be able to sell it if it didn’t.” You replied, almost annoyed. But it was still endearing. You knew Conrad wanted to make sure you had the best, and what would eventually be the best for your family. He wanted to continue the traditions his mother had laid out, and finding the perfect house was step one. So, in a way you see why he’s acting the way he is.
“Come over here!” Conrad exclaims. He’s wandered off farther into the house while you were lost in your daydream. Walking around the corner, you find Conrad with his shoes off, sliding on the linoleum floors. “Join me?” He says, scooting closer to you, holding out his hands. You slide your shoes off, and slowly approach him.
“What are we doing?” You whisper to him as he pulls you with him.
“We’re dancing, silly.” He said back, slowly starting to sway with you. You slowly fall into a rhythm, when he suddenly says, “I think this is it.”
“What?” You reply, unsure of his sudden change in mood.
“This house. I think this is the one. Yeah, I’m worried about some things, but it doesn’t matter. We can fix those. I want this with you, I want us to sit on the couch every night and share stories from our day. I want to bake with you in the kitchen while our child begs to lick the spoon. I want you.” He confesses as you stand there, stunned.
Not wanting him to worry, you reply. “Okay. I want this too.” He smiles and you smile back. But, it’s ruined when he leans in and kisses you. But when you pull back, he confesses one more thing in the silence of the room.
“Okay, let’s do this.” And that’s the moment you realized Conrad was more than his titles, more than what he had shown so far. He was Conrad, and he was your forever. So, you whisper back an okay like a prayer and hope that whatever this feeling was lasts forever.
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reallytryin · 1 year
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don't go breaking my heart pt 1
pairing: conrad Fisher x reader
Warnings: reader having a had relationship with their perants as well as being @bused by their dad
Genre:fluff and angst
a/n: I'm so sorry to the anon that requested this I lost the request but hopefully this finds its way back to you <3
That day was really hot. You had just gotten home from a party with your friends as well as your boyfriend conrad.
As you walk in to the front room you see your dad passed out on the couch,with your mom nowhere in sight. You sigh realising he's been drinking again. Looking over at all the cans of beer,and the open snacks you bought out of the money you got from working at the diner the weekend prior.
Before he could wake up you throw away the cans of beer and walk upstairs with your snacks. this should last me awhile if I get locked in my room again you thought. As your hiding your snacks in various places around the room, vanity,sock drawer ect. You hear your dad coming up the stairs.
Shit. You had to do something,but there's nothing you can do. You brace yourself for whats about to come. "Hey did you take my beers?" Your dad says in an aggressive tone. Yea I did what are ya gonna do about it? Is what you wanted to say instead you answered with a weak "no". His face twisted into a sinister smile. Like he was looking forward to what would come. Shit. He knew. He always knows. "Liar" he wisper yelled. For a few seconds the room fell silent. *ding* a message popped up
Connie 😽🩶
Did you get home safe? ❤
Oh god. "Who's that?" As far as your father knew conrad was just some dumb scrawny middle schooler,but conrad had grown up since 3 summers ago when your dad took you guys to the arcade. That was the last time he saw him,for good reason. "No one" your dad scoffed "yea right. Let me see" your dad was not as smart as he made himself out to be. But He acted tough enough for people to not question him. "No" oh god why did I do that.
"Excuse me?" You picked up your phone and put it in your back pocket. "You heard me" you felt so liberated so free,but that feeling didn't last for long.
You screamed as he pushed you into the wall and grabbed both your wrists. "Please I'm sorry I didn't mean it ple-e-eess" you say with tears streaming down your face. He raises his hand to hit you but the front door opens "I'm home y/n" it was your mother. The only one who listened,although she wasn't much help when your dad was taking his anger out on you she certainly helped you get cleaned up and would tell you over and over again how sorry she was.
"You got lucky this time bitch" it was rare for him to give up a fight but I guess he was hungry and your mom makes the best turkey sandwiches in the world.
You take your phone out of your back pocket and click on his message
Connie 😽🩶
Con:Hey did you get home safe? ❤️
Y/n:Yea I'm fine just my dick head dad
Con:You want me to come pick you up?
Yn:Yea please
Con:K be there in 5
🫶
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Are requests opennnnnn
YESSS
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Hi everyone it's August here or reallytryin OR previously known as emoandglam. Well I'm just letting everyone know I've added more characters on to my list for writing including the summer I turned pretty! So definitely request if u feel like it <3
@gaytoadwithapopsicle @lyssyspam @luvsickmp3 @sanderchu
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Happens to me too w my perants lol. I hope you find people who want to listen to you,but in the meantime I'm here 🫶
Dude I've been ignored by people all day and I'm about to fucking kill someone literally the WORST feeling in the world for me is when you start talking and someone cuts you off to talk to someone else or just doesn't fucking listen you know how many times I've started talking and then just stopped mid-semtemce because I know no one fucking cares?
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Totally not me us right!
Litteraly who the fuck asked?
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reallytryin · 1 year
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here goes nothing.......
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( this piece of writing is in no way shape or form trying to take away from Em's status as Tom's gf and is purley fiction )
Prompt: announcing relationship
Pairing: Tommyinnit x reader
Warning: I don't think there is any buy please let me know 🫶
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Here you where sitting in you're boyfriends gaming chair waiting for him to get of the phone with his best friend.
You could hear him talking but you weren't paying attention. " Wilbur wishes us good luck." you're boyfriend says walking into the room, towards you
"You ready?" He asks in a comforting tone. "Yea" you reply with no tone indications in your voice.
Where you ready? I'm mean you thought you where but now you don't know. What if you mess up? What if you say the wrong thing? Still you stood up and let you're boyfriend sit down. You walked to another chair in the corner out of sight.
You're boyfriend was a famous streamer. You had been hiding you're relationship online for a while but it's gotten to a point where you can't even go on dates in public out of fear that someone might realise. So you decided today you would finally be introduced to his fans.
He clicked stream and waited for people to join. "Welcome back everyone to the stream! I know i haven't streamed in a while but there is a reason for that......I HAVE A PARTNER!" it made you laugh seeing his online persona switch on so fast.
Straight after that he started explaining how you guys met and how you're the most amazing person he's ever met. The chat was filled with oohs and ahhs at the fact that the Tommyinnit had a partner.
"Are you ready?" You're boyfriend says. You click out of you're own mind and jump up out of you're seat to go sit beside him. "Every body this is my partner y/n! Say hi." "Hi everyone haha" you looked over at the chat and saw that it was filled with lovely comments about how you're so pretty/handsome.
You finally felt at ease with the whole thing,this is where you're ment to be no matter what anyone else said. The stream continued and you guys played some games and did a little Q&A.
Later on after the stream had ended you sat down on the sofa with a bowl of snacks. "Omg you did so good baby. They took it surprisingly well." It was you're boyfriend. He wrapped his arm around you're neck and kissed you on you're head. "I really didn't know how to feel I thought maybe they wouldn't like me." You replied.
Tom went on to explain how silly and how crazy it was for you to think that. In the end it didn't really matter because you knew Tom was the one and you didn't care what anyone else said.
The end
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reallytryin · 1 year
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YAY YAY YAY NEW FRIENDS
Lyss would you care to be mutuals as we share other mutuals. I would find it absolutely delightful if you were to accept but if not I shall not worry 🫶
hi yes of course :D i see you in my notifs a lot! :D
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Bro I just got my hair done and it was like €157 for litteraly nothing anyways
My hair is so fucking resistant to lightening, I have to use like 3 boxes of bleach kits on it to actually get all the orange out and it doesn't even end up damaged its just so much work
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Ik it cost alot but maybe get it done professionally so you don't risk damage
My hair is so fucking resistant to lightening, I have to use like 3 boxes of bleach kits on it to actually get all the orange out and it doesn't even end up damaged its just so much work
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reallytryin · 1 year
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Come a little closer - cage the elephant
I can't handle change- roar
Deceptacon - le Tigre
Star shopping - lil peep
Long way to go - cassie ( sped up )
lol @sanderchu @lucy-12179 @luvsickmp3 @lyssyspam @minorinnit
Tagged by my lovely friend @phoeniceae 🖤
rules: 🎧🎵 when you get this, you have to put in 5 songs you actually listen to at the moment. Then tag 5-10 followers to do the same. 🎵🎧
(decided to do it a little different this time and specifically pick theater songs)
1. The Origin of Love - Hedwig and the Angry Inch
2. Cut You A Piece - 35MM: A Musical Exhibition
3. Being Alive - Company
4. 30/90 - tick… tick… BOOM
5. Heaven On Their Minds - Jesus Christ Superstar
if ya want to @dykeredhood @cowboykitsch @julesmars @m-imprefect @rebeccabinch @when-the-sunlight-dies @zombiequeer
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