raikee

[raikee]

“I’m not the person you left behind anymore. There’s no one here to miss.”

— Iain Thomas (via quotemadness)

[raikee]

Day 1

I thought I will be fine, but when it finally happened, I felt my whole world crumbled down. My chest felt heavy, that deep heavy feeling of loss and emptiness at the same time suffocating me.

I know this is the best for both of us, but I can’t help but feel like I lost something important. I wanted to cry and grieve yet also unsure of what is it that I had lost.

I wanted to talk about it to someone who understands me, someone whom I feel at peace. I wanted to run and be in the safety of someone who feels like home..but sadly, that someone is you..and I’ve lost you..we lost “us”.

Tomorrow I will be waking up in a day, after 9 long years that I won’t be talking to you. I will open my eyes, grab my phone, and I don’t have to message you anymore. No one will ask me how I’m doing or how my day went, and say goodnight.

Tomorrow I will go to work and there wouldn’t be any reason for me to take breaks and go out to check my phone.

I wonder if I will still get the random feeling of missing you, of randomly wishing for things we could never do.

Tonight I just want to be sad and mourn for the love we lost..for all the things our love can never be.

I hope tomorrow and the days after I will be better.

I wish one day, I won’t look for your presence anymore.

But one thing is for sure, I have loved you and you have loved me, though our love can never be..

---080322

#the beginning of our love's end

[raikee]

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov Chapter 4: A Hymn and a Secret (1880)

[raikee]

“This is why you should never, ever get your hopes up. This is why you should see the glass as half empty. So when the whole thing spills, you aren’t as devastated.”

— Emily Giffin, Something Borrowed (via razairazerci)

[raikee]

I will be less afraid... I will be better next time.

[raikee]

“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”

— Jim Carrey

[raikee]

“I want to write, but more than that, I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart.”

— Anne Frank

[raikee]

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either

[raikee]

I thought I'm better but I still hurt myself..

[raikee]

I think I could have loved you

better than anybody,

and I can’t stop making lists

of all the times I almost told you that.

[raikee]

[raikee]

[raikee]

And for some reason, I always felt a little more when I would hear you laugh.

R.M. Drake (via wordsnquotes)

[raikee]

You never loved him back. You loved that he loved you.

violetdiary  (via wnq-writers)

[raikee]

Long after you’ve forgotten someone’s voice, you can still remember the sound of their happiness or their sadness. You can feel it in your body.

Anne Michaels, The Winter Vault (via wordsnquotes)

[raikee]

I loved you silently, without hope, fully, In diffidence, in jealousy, in pain; I loved you so tenderly and truly.

Alexander Pushkin (via wordsnquotes)

I loved you so much I got exhausted.

[raikee]

People go but how they left always stays

Rupi Kaur, Milk & Honey (via thelovejournals)