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might come back here and my lottie blog...stay tuned?

#ooc.

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Conversation 16 by The National is very Shauna/Jeff:

I figured out what we're missing / I tell you miserable things after you are asleep

A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More Touch Me by Fall Out Boy is very Shauna/Jackie:

I confess, I messed up, dropping I'm sorry like you're still around + I don't blame you for being being you / but you can't blame me for hating it

#chara study. #musings. #idk if this makes sense to anyone but me but !!! #jeff tag. #jackie tag. #shauna x jackie. #shauna x jeff.

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I'm so sick of history dragging behind me. ━ Cathy Linh Che, Go Forget Your Father

#visage. #chara study. #!!!

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YELLOWJACKETS (2021—) 1.02, “F Sharp”

#visage. #javi tag. #idk I've GOT to get better tags #anyway this makes me wanna die <3

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1.01 (pilot) / 2.01 (friends, romans, countrymen) / 1.09 (doomcoming)

#visage. #chara study. #jackie tag. #shauna x jackie. #OUUUGH

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@misquigley said: ❛ how long has it been since you've slept? ❜

If she was honest, she didn't really know. The exhaustion she felt didn't feel like something even the best sleep could fix. A weariness in her bones, a tiredness that burned her eyes, an empty ache that never seemed to truly dull. And she knows Misty is just checking in, just trying to help, caring (as she always did, whether or not it was well received). But Shauna didn't want to be cared for, she wanted to stew in her anger, wanted to rot in her solitude. Part of her almost felt like she deserved to. She doesn't look at Misty, simply staring into empty space. "I don't think it really matters," she says simply.

#misquigley #asks. #ic asks. #v; younger (wilderness) #she's having. a moment <3 #jldskfgh

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@perfectionreached said: ❛ you’re not a very convincing liar. ❜

There's a certain look of indignance that crosses her features, as if it was anything but a fair statement. She wasn't just unconvincing, she was abysmal at best. And if anyone was going to be able to read her and see past the bullshit, of course it would be Taissa. So why even bother?

Well, maybe because Shauna has spent years trying to forge an armor, a thick and fake layer of ease and simplicity. It was easy enough to get lost in, but Tai clearly knew better. Because she had always known better. "That's--that's not it. I'm not lying." She says. "Look, sometimes it's better to just leave it be. I mean it'll...pass, right?" As if it would, as if it ever did.

#perfectionreached #asks. #ic asks. #ngl idek the context here jdfkg #v; adult

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𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓷𝓸𝓷𝓼 — send 💭 + a topic to receive a headcanon about said topic.

#!!! #this might help get my brain flowing again 👁👁 #memes.

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&. 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  you  know  that  dynamic  of  the  emotionally  closed  off  one  &  the  kind  one  they  have  a  soft  spot  for?  yeah,  that’s  the  vibe.  )

said from the lone wolf.

❛ you think you know me, but the truth is, you don’t. ❜

❛ going home isn’t an option anymore. ❜

❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ 

❛ do you wish i was different? ❜ 

❛ i just, i don’t want anything bad to happen to you. ❜ 

❛ you deserve better than what you’ve got. ❜

❛ i guess we both lost something we were fond of. ❜ 

❛ i’m not leaving you out here alone. ❜ 

❛ you don’t have to keep me company, i’m fine by myself. ❜ 

❛ coming here to see you is the only place i could go. ❜

❛ i’m afraid of losing you, okay? ❜ 

❛ i know you probably hate me right now, and i get it. ❜

❛ what is with your weird fascination with me? ❜ 

❛ yeah, you keep on telling yourself that bullshit. ❜ 

❛ i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, i just have a lot on my plate. ❜ 

❛ you’re lucky you got away with only a scratch. ❜ 

❛ if i could be a different person, i promise you, i would be. ❜

❛ people like us don’t get to decide when we’re done. ❜

❛ i’ve never had anything good happen to me when i trusted others. ❜

❛ you won’t survive out there. they tear all good things apart. ❜

❛ i don’t know what’s the truth or what’s a lie anymore. ❜ 

❛ you got guts, i’ll give you that. ❜ 

❛ the more you know, the shorter your life will be. ❜ 

❛ for the first time in years, i felt something that i thought had been lost to me. ❜ 

❛ what you think you’re going through is nothing to what i have been through. ❜ 

said from the soft spot. 

❛ you’re not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ how is it that you’re never scared? ❜

❛ you think i’m weak because i’m not like you. ❜

❛ you wanted to be left alone, right? ❜ 

❛ how do you make the pain go away? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t smoke, you know. ❜

❛ destroy what is destroying you. ❜

❛ i hope you find the peace you’re searching for. ❜

❛ you know my door is always open to you. ❜

❛ i look at you and my heart breaks because all i see is loneliness. ❜

❛ you’re avoiding the subject and you know it. what are you hiding from me? ❜ 

❛ you’re not at war anymore, you can come home. ❜

❛ it feels like you’ve been avoiding me. ❜

❛ what are you so afraid of? ❜

❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜ 

❛ why do you care? you could have just walked away. ❜ 

❛ i know you. how else do you think i found you so easily? ❜

❛ if it was the other way around, would you have come back for me? ❜ 

❛ i just thought you’d like some company. ❜ 

❛ are you jealous? want me all to yourself, do you? ❜

❛ i knew you had a heart. ❜ 

❛ can you look at me? please? ❜

❛ i don’t think i’ve ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ if you won’t take care of yourself, then who will? ❜

❛ you have something beautiful inside of you. it’s hard for some people to tell, but it’s there. ❜

#rbing this as if I am not already hoarding memes<33 #memes.

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🫠

#how to ask for feedback/validation somewhat #without seeming like you're fishing for compliments 😭 #idk skdkfkgk I just need to do some writing and push through this little funk fr #ooc. #negativity tw #kinda?

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I'm gonna try to write a little and work past my Sad Bitch Hours™️ skdkdkfkg

#I can do this #I will enjoy my hobby!!! #ooc.

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@liveshaunted said: ❛ if i didn't know any better, i'd say you were jealous. ❜ (from lottie)

Eyes narrowing, she lets out a scoff. "I'm not jealous," Shauna says. She was though, a feeling that always seemed to seethe just under the surface of her skin. It was a feeling she always seemed to circle back around to as well, some sort of vicious cycle.

She just wanted to be seen, was that so bad? Shauna wanted the things she did and the person she was to be acknowledged. (Just once would be fucking nice.) And more than that, she wanted to be chosen.

After all, wasn't it them who kept putting the knife back in her hand? It felt cruel, to forge this role for her and then make her feel like it didn't matter. She clearly had the guts to do what no one else did. Sure, some of it was her choice, but by now this had all extended far past what any of them had ever anticipated. It made her insides twist with a bitterness she couldn't quite seem to get off her tongue.

"This is stupid, you know? I don't care what you think. I am so over caring about what any of you think."

#liveshaunted #asks. #ic asks. #v; younger (wilderness) #(idk could maybe be after the whole uhhh dear diary these bitches fucking SUCK moment?)

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Wish I could find that post that's like "Shauna's problem is that she didn't have enough enrichment in her enclosure" bc like yeah...Real

#😭😭 #ooc.

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I really need you right now. Please. (insp)

#gonna cry about it #visage.

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Once upon a time, there was a cabin that sat empty in the wilderness. And it waited, and waited, and waited. Until finally, one day, someone finally showed up in hopes of banishing the darkness away. But the thing about darkness is that when you spend so long trapped in darkness, you find that the darkness begins to stare back and threatens to consume you.

( promo credit )

#yeahhhhh!!! char is so awesome!! #promo.

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#dear diary, these ungrateful bitches didn't elect me antler queen.

#GOD.... #u ever think about this role she was put in and how heavy it must be #I'm interested to see how this resentment kind of carries her #where it'll lead #visage. #chara study.

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Ppl who dislike older/adult timeline Shauna are so Wrong in my personal opinion. I think she's so interesting and a good example of how trauma at such a young age can mark you and leave you just so...perpetually stuck in the past. Ofc they all kind of embody this, but it's also just the way she has tried to forge this mundane life for herself and will simply never be satisfied with it. It's a punishment in some ways, maybe an attempt for peace in others. But it never truly works. And then also — she refuses to truly process things, she continually makes these choices, these near regressions, and refuses to accept that the fallout is the result of her own making.

"You know there's no it, right? It was just us."

She feels this guilt and this shame, she regrets her actions but deep down, some of it did feel good. There's a part of her that stayed in the wilderness and that part of her will never be truly satisfied with an average life. Violence is simply ingrained in her, there's something volatile just beneath the surface. And she's scared to feed it, but just as much she wishes she could.

This turned into a whole other thing but!!! Idk I just think she's neat.

#rbing from my personal bc I think it's relevant #sorry that it makes no sense I am Not Eloquent #chara study.