I’m getting fed up with this whole “feminism as an identity” thing. Time for “feminism as an action.”
So instead of asking “can a feminist do x?” ask “is doing x a feminist action!”
Can a feminist take her husband’s last name? Mu. Null. Question un-valid, please un-ask question.
Is taking your husband’s last name a feminist action? No it isn’t. It doesn’t challenge the patriarchy in anyway, it is the status quo thing to do, it is what is expected of women, and it carries a lot of historical baggage about ownership and shit like that.
But that’s okay, your life choices don’t have to be 100% dictated by your politics unless you want them to. And it’s okay to really want to take his name while recognizing that you also want to do the feminist thing and keep your own, and it’s okay to feel conflicted and have a hard time making the choice. But no more of this enabling “as long as I made the choice myself it is a feminist choice” -bullshit. Own your choices, even the ones that aren’t informed by your feminist politics. You are still a human being and people do shit that contradicts their politics and even interests all the time. Just stop pretending that everything you do is feminist because you are a feminist, that’s not how it works.
I feel like Dead Boy Detectives handles Crystal with such kindness. She has the ability to be cruel and... Just a terrible person. She also has a silver tongue and knows her aunties and grammies, she will suffer to save her friends in an instant, and she is better than who she was. She is the kind of person who would have brought about the death of the boys but she is working and doing better. I adore her. She spits fire and warms all around her