queer-lemons

[queer-lemons]

My favorite kind of “I was cancelled” celebrity tour is when it’s part of the press tour for their newest Netflix comedy special for which they were paid millions of dollars

[queer-lemons]

queen of the world to me

[queer-lemons]

(SOUND IS CRUCIAL) this video is has murdered me dead the music the editing the way information is slowly revealed about the two of them the plot twist the breaking bad images. WILLIAM WILLIAM WILLIAM. all over minecraft parkour someone help im seizing

[queer-lemons]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

[queer-lemons]

i ROCKED it!!!! don't know if i got the job yet but i aced that shit 😎

about to start my first real job interviewwwww the anticipation is killing me but i will get thru it if only to update my beloved tumblrinas

[queer-lemons]

those cicadas about to have the time of their lives

[queer-lemons]

I almost scrolled past this on Twitter

[queer-lemons]

i dont “have ptsd” that’s all just the wizard’s curse

[queer-lemons]

I know people on tumblr looove stories of underwater cave diving, but I haven't seen anyone talk about nitrogen narcosis aka "raptures of the deep"

basically when you want to get your advanced scuba certification (allowing you to go more than 60 feet deep) you have to undergo a very specific test: your instructor takes you down past the 60+ foot threshold, and she brings a little underwater white board with her.

she writes a very basic math problem on that board. 6 + 15. she shows it to you, and you have to solve it.

if you can solve it, you're good. that is the hardest part of the test.

because here's what happens: there is a subset of people, and we have no real idea why this happens only to them, who lose their minds at depth. they're not dying, they're not running out of oxygen, they just completely lose their sense of identity when deep in the sea.

a woman on a dive my instructor led once vanished during the course of the excursion. they were diving near this dropoff point, beyond which the depth exceeded 60 feet and he'd told them not to go down that way. the instructor made his way over to look for her and found a guy sitting at the edge of the dropoff (an underwater cliff situation) just staring down into the dark. the guy is okay, but he's at the threshold, spacing out, and mentally difficult to reach. they try to communicate, and finally the guy just points down into the dark, knowing he can't go down there, but he saw the woman go.

instructor is deep water certified and he goes down. he shines his light into the dark, down onto the seafloor which is at 90 feet below the surface. he sees the woman, her arms locked to her sides, moving like a fish, swimming furiously in circles in the pitch black.

she is hard to catch but he stops her and checks her remaining oxygen: she is almost out, on account of swimming a marathon for absolutely no reason. he is able to drag her back up, get her to a stable depth to decompress, and bring her to the surface safely.

when their masks are off and he finally asks her what happened, and why was she swimming like that, she says she fully, 100% believed she was a mermaid, had always been a mermaid, and something was hunting her in the dark 👍

[queer-lemons]

[queer-lemons]

about to start my first real job interviewwwww the anticipation is killing me but i will get thru it if only to update my beloved tumblrinas

[queer-lemons]

Don't ask me for relationship advice cause I'll tell you to kill him

[queer-lemons]

I have figured out that all the sudden Taylor Swift hate on my dash is due to a new Taylor Swift album being out and seeing that I'm a casual Swift fan (I do not identify as a Swiftie) I think perhaps I should listen and report my findings so I'm gonna have it on while I get ready for class today. Which is fitting because I'm going to poetry class so seeing as I am technically a tortured poet supposedly this album is meant to speak to me so *mario voice* Here we go!

[queer-lemons]

i'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, but sometimes i hear women talking about their diets and it takes all i have to not be like "this is not normal. you have an eating disorder and you are in a cult."

[queer-lemons]

There’s no reason you can’t eat pie at every meal. They make fruit pies, vegetable pies, meat pies, meat substitute pies, I mean pies easily cover 100% of your necessary nutrient groups. They even make cake pies. The only reason not to switch over to pie entirely is pie sucks.

[queer-lemons]

[queer-lemons]