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qis-diamant99 · 2 years

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before 2021 ends,

I want to wrap this up by sharing the things that i went thru this year. so many things happened in just a year. I feel like i’ve grown too, from all the mistakes, from the wrong ppl i met who hurt me, etc. I learn. i learned a lot. Earlier this year, i met someone. who i never thought would give me so much trauma, and pain. Till this day, when i think about it, i got gaslighted and manipulated to the point that it took me months to recover. To convince myself that its never me. Im not the problem. I was finding reasons why did the person have the heart to do tht to me cause i would never do that to him. I still justified what he did at the very beginning bcs i was inlove with him. I was depressed thinking if there’s anything wrong with me that made him do that. Basically, i was used. Taken for granted. He knew all along that he would hurt me at the end, yet, he kept me long enough for his benefit. when he was lonely, sad, thats when he searched for me. But when he didnt know what to do, he was confused, he just throw me away like im some trash. But im glad tht i threw him away too.. When he got back with her, despite telling me shits of how much he got hurt by that girl, he went back to that anyway? Whats the point rlly? I was the one tht told u to fix things with her. & the audacity of you to say “i cant have what i want” when u couldnt “leave her”. In other words, u’re saying tht she’s not wht she wants actually

I’ll never forget tht. I’ll never forget how u let me suffer alone without an apology for the argument, for the last call we had, for all the traumatic words u said to me. I still cant find myself to forgive u for tht. I’ll never forget when u said “u gave me comfort. And she didnt” now i cant even imagine if she knows u said that. I have all the call records of u saying tht in case u think im lying. And i can show tht to her too. Or to everyone if i wanted to. But see how i keep quiet? be grateful. Also, Remember when u gaslighted me with denying that u forgot tht u said u love me? I swear to god. Thats the worst thing someone can ever say. The damage i had to endure after hearing all that tho. U have no idea. Now imagine her even knowing that u said u love some other girl behind her back just easy? lol. When i was moving on from you, thats when i realise every single thing. Every thing was connected. I realised u did me so wrong & i just let it happen? And i even became the better person by apologising for something thts clearly not my fault in the first place. I was so manipulated. Yes, i sent u tht long message. I meant every single word i said there, at that time. Bcs i was so still inlove with u. When i even took my time to go to a quiet bookstore just to talk to you when i was outside with my friends, bcs u were scared of getting covid, i was shaking bcs i was so worried abt you. Wow i cant believe i did all tht to someone who decided to bluntly played me & had no remorse. & u had the audacity to tell me that she was there for you at the end of the day? After talking bad about her to me? After demonising her? And u didnt even tell me earlier? Do u even care about how i felt at the time, at our last call when u said tht? I was so well fooled. I was so so blind. and of course, you ghosting me just shows how much i deserve so much more than that & you def dont deserve me. I shouldve not responded to ur text when u start double texting me and calling me etc at the beginning when i tried to stay away frm you. And i made it clear. I had good intentions all along. My love was pure & but u decided to play around. Never again, i go thru tht. But thank you btw, thank you. Bcs of you, i learned not to settle for less. She can have you all she wants. Until she knows what u did to her of course. But thats not my job to let her know. When the tables have turned, good luck. U better be grateful, that i shut my mouth abt you. U better b counting ur blessings frm now on that i dont tell her anything until now. Just know tht the things u did to me, is such an asshole move. Remember, u dont get to treat people like this and pretend like nothing happened w/o any payback. Enjoy it while it lasts. What goes around comes around. Mark my words.

Happy new year to you. This will be the last time i talk about you or even think abt you or even say your name. For sure, i no longer feel the pain in my heart when i hear ur name. But i still find the things u did was unacceptable bcs i know i dont deserve it. No one deserves it. Im closing the book here, today. Also, Miss sabrina azli deserves to know the truth. I have all the proofs with me. but wtv, till then. Goodbye.

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qis-diamant99 · 3 years

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