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it’s gonna be may (birth month!)

my artwork for @coartremix ! I’m so keen to see this remixed :) first artwork done after my mega injury and I’m surprised it turned this good

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james potter would know how to do a backflip for absolutely no reason.

#truer words have never been spoken...!

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WOOO POTATOS!!! I LOVE CHIPS!!! EVERYTHING IS CHIPS!!!

ready salted or cheese and onion?

was slightly thrown off by the wording "ready salted" for a second there LMAOO hm i think cheese and onion is like the one chip flavour i actually prefer over original. i am veryyy picky with chips and crackers and all that sort of snack stuff and will usually just go with the most plain option possible but i do love cheese and onion

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okay yes i do say chips but don't lump me in with the americans just yet, what you call chips is also called chips here. chips everywhere. it's all chips. woohoo for chips!

ready salted or cheese and onion?

was slightly thrown off by the wording "ready salted" for a second there LMAOO hm i think cheese and onion is like the one chip flavour i actually prefer over original. i am veryyy picky with chips and crackers and all that sort of snack stuff and will usually just go with the most plain option possible but i do love cheese and onion

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ready salted or cheese and onion?

was slightly thrown off by the wording "ready salted" for a second there LMAOO hm i think cheese and onion is like the one chip flavour i actually prefer over original. i am veryyy picky with chips and crackers and all that sort of snack stuff and will usually just go with the most plain option possible but i do love cheese and onion

#a #eme tag

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DAILYFLICKS 30K EVENT: FAVORITE 90s FILM PER MEMBER ↳ VELVET GOLDMINE (1998) — Sonny (@fathermax)

For once, there was an unknown land, full of strange flowers and subtle perfumes; a land of which it is joy of all joys to dream; a land where all things are perfect and poisonous.

#my latest obsession... #i cannot shut up about this movie

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i know someone doesn’t understand this fandom when they say jegulus is the same as snily lmfao

#i dont mind snape as a character and wish he was utilised more often in nuanced ways #but people act like every ship is just a copy of another #the whole point of diff characters existing is that theyre different #i feel bad for you if you see half the chars as just clones of eachother that must be super boring!

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question of the dayyyy

kiss, marry, fuck, kill:

envy, sloth, wrath, and pride.

kill sloth because i don’t want a lazy fuck or lazy huband, fuck wrath because i don’t want an angry husband but it could be fun for a one-off thing, kiss envy because i don’t want to deal with a jealous husband that’d be a nightmare, and then marry pride i guess. could be worse lol

#a #james tag

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but if I don't get weird and horny about this then who will

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@jegulus-microfic / football / 768 words / @bellaxisworld i love you

--- here's a little kiss cam brainrot <3

"But I hate football, you know this," Regulus reiterated to a very persistent Remus over the phone.

“I know, but Sirius can’t make it and he doesn’t want the tickets to go to waste. It’s just one game,” Remus remarked with a hint of something that Regulus couldn’t quite place. 

That’s how he ended up at a Saturday sports match, hoping the players were hot; at least he would be entertained that way. He approached his seats and yelled Remus’ name, but someone else turned around: James.

“Reg? Why are you here? I thought I was meeting Siriu-” Regulus interrupted him, only a Potter could manage to insult him as he was greeting him.

“Nice to see you too James, well I thought I was meeting Remus. So you were also not who I expected to see.”

Before James could give a proper response, they both got a notification on their phone. Regulus looked at his screen to read Remus' quick text: Sorry, can’t make it. Have fun.

“I’m going to kill him,” Regulus mumbled. 

“Sirius just canceled on me. I’m guessing you got stood up too?” James asked kindly, but only received a mean glance in response.

In silence, they took their seats. Regulus was beyond pissed. How could Remus do this to him? He thought for a second that they might’ve been set up, but he thought this ruse was a bit dramatic even for Sirius’ standards.

“Do you like football?” James asked, breaking the silence.

“Detest it,” Regulus replied tersely, still too upset to entertain James’ attempt at conversation. When his brother’s best friend asked if he wanted anything to drink, he simply declined in a polite and quick manner.

But when James returned with his favorite treats and a wide smile to his seat, he couldn’t remember what he was upset about. Regulus felt a discreet blush work its way towards his cheeks as James handed him his favorite candy.

“Sirius mentioned you liked this, so I figured that if you were stuck with me and in a place you don’t want to be, you might as well get a sweet treat, no?” James said casually, as if remembering someone’s favorite candy was nothing.

To Regulus, it was such a significant gesture, but he couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic by how such a simple token could make him feel so warm. If he was honest, maybe it had more to do with who was giving him that attention than the piece of candy itself, but that was not the time to process that.

The game continued, and to Regulus's surprise, he found himself having more fun than he had expected. While Remus would have been good company, James was captivating in his own way. Despite not being a fan of football, Regulus made an effort to stay informed about the current games. A fact that he deliberately kept from James as the other man’s eyes lit up explaining everything. He never expected to be so absorbed in James’ words or thoughts or lips or eyes or arms or smile...

 Oh god, when did James Potter become so attractive?

“Regulus?” His name coming out James’ lips took him out his trace.

“Yes?”

"Kiss cam," James said, pointing at the screen in front of them. There they were, the two of them, with a crowd surrounding them, chanting for them to just kiss. Regulus felt as if seconds extended into hours as James's hand gently cupped his chin, his eyes silently asking for permission. An inaudible yes left Regulus's lips as the distance between them evaporated.

His hand instinctively reached for James' shirt, pulling him closer as if their lips touching was still too far a distance to bridge. He allowed himself this moment, the touch of an angel on a broken man. Every crevice of doubt within him was filled with warmth as James kept asking for more with his tongue. James parted slightly, and the absence of his lips made Regulus remember himself. Embarrassed, he started to pull away, but James held him tightly, his hands not leaving Regulus' face.

Regulus bravely opened his eyes to face the regret that was sure to be all over James’ face, but instead he found something else— something sweet and soft, something only honey eyes like James’ could convey. He was still light-headed from James’ touch, he couldn’t make sense of just how long he had been given access to heaven. 

But the reality remained: he had just kissed James Potter, who seemed just as delighted to have kissed Regulus Black.

Maybe football wasn’t that bad.

more microfics here

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@jegulus-microfic | april 30, prompt: sky | word count: 1.927 featuring older ceo regulus black and younger secretary james potter part 2 | part 1 AKA word on the street is i Excel in the sheets

“Erh…” he tries after a stretch of silence. “So, how was your day?”

Regulus pins him frozen to place with a look, a sign spelling ‘stupid’ nailed right into his forehead. “You know how my day was. You manage my schedule.”

Damn, tough crowd. “Okay,” James drawls, a little unsure. “But, like, how did it go?”

The place functions as any other hole-in-the-wall restaurant that serves just a handful of people throughout the day, most of whom are loyal customers returning every so often for a comfort meal when homesickness becomes a little too much to bear. Even now, there are only a couple of people scattered about, none of which pay any mind to either Regulus or James.

“So, first impressions?” James asks when he takes a seat across from him.

“It’s satisfactory.”

“Satisfactory.” James blinks.

Regulus is quiet. He looks terribly out of place wearing a luxury suit exported from one of the globe’s corners and James can’t help but feel a little guilty. He’s seen Regulus carve into lobster with only a fork and knife but still can’t help but worry about future dry cleaning prices for which he may or may not be responsible.

“Erh…” he tries after a stretch of silence. “So, how was your day?”

Regulus pins him frozen to place with a look, a sign spelling ‘stupid’ nailed right into his forehead. “You know how my day was. You manage my schedule.”

Damn, tough crowd. “Okay,” James drawls, a little unsure. “But, like, how did it go?”

Regulus, perhaps finally acknowledging his poor attempts at small talk to ease the awkwardness, studies him intently for a long, close moment before acquiescing. “Enervating.” Right, because Regulus is the type to unironically use words like enervating. 

“The business deal?” James asks and Regulus nods. “Dude from Jakarta, right?”

“The CEO from the biggest real estate company in Jakarta,” Regulus corrects him. 

Tomato, tomato. “Does this mean you get to leave work at a reasonable hour starting tomorrow?”

“I’ve never had reasonable working hours.”

“Of course, I forgot the very important detail you’re a raging workaholic.”

Regulus’ mouth sets into a firm line as his brows knit together into a censorious frown—his entire face contorting into something that’s one odd remark away from turning downright petulant. “I am not—” He stops. Breathes in. Probably recognizes James is very carefully pulling his tail and for some reason becomes decidedly collegial. “Allow me to rephrase myself. I am meticulous. I prefer finishing tasks before going home and don’t mind when it results in me staying at work a little longer. It’s inevitable as a CEO when timezones don’t work in my favor.” 

Absolute bullshit. “Just last week you kept leaving the office after the cleaning shift already came by to sweep the place clean. I know because they told me.”

“I can’t see how any of this poses as a bother to you.” And there it is, the good ole Regulus Black-esque deflection. 

“I’m just worried. That is all.”

Regulus’ nose twitches and he looks away, a clear indication that he no longer wants to be a willing participant in the conversation. When Regulus becomes like this, James has learned to leave it be.

Luckily, it doesn’t take long for the food to arrive. James can stop pretending to take in the beautiful sight of the night sky, cracked asphalt, and the flickering colors of traffic signs when the plate is placed on the center of the table, carrying an assortment of different meat cuts and a modest side salad that will probably be Regulus’ for the taking.

Using the table etiquette of a properly groomed aristocrat, Regulus carefully selects some vegetables to put on his plate and a modest serving of rice. He skillfully carves out some pieces around the skewer.

“Seriously,” James deadpans. “Go on, Your Royal Highness, you can use your hands for this.”

Regulus almost bridles at the mere suggestion.

“Seriously, there’s no shame in it. Here, let me do it for you”

Regulus watches as James grabs one of the skewers and uses his fork to tear chunks off, dropping a generous portion of roasted vegetables and meat on Regulus’ plate. “You want some of this flatbread?”

Regulus shakes his head and James shrugs. He swiftly mouths off a dollop of sauce on his thumb, which earns him one of Regulus’ notorious James-exclusive grimaces.

Right, table manners.

They get to eating and James is once again reminded of how much of a slow eater Regulus is. It’s like he counts his chews, jaw working diligently with the faint scrapes of his cutlery against the plate. That and he works even as he eats, almost on auto-pilot with how he takes out his phone to open Outlook.

“Using your phone at the table is rude manners,” James teases.

“I got an e-mail.”

“Of course.” He nods. “Nothing workaholic about that, no.”

“It’s an important e-mail.”

“You know I read something about how it’s also important to spend time with your employees.”  He waves around a piece of the flatbread as if to emphasize the point. “Get to know them better and all.”

“I know plenty about you,” Regulus answers as he types away.

“That so?”

Regulus looks at him, entirely indifferent as the phone is placed face-down on the table. “James Potter. Twenty-three years old. Finished your master’s degree at Oxford, with flying colors might I add. You took a gap year to travel, working all sorts of jobs to pay for your accommodation. Currently, you live near Camden and spend most of your spare time enjoying hobbies or going to the pub with your friends. You have a Joe and the Juice stamp card.”

James tries not to physically reel back. “That…” He starts, absolutely nonplussed. Someone come pick his fucking jaw off the table, it’s dropped off its hinges. “You know what Joe and the Juice is?” Impossible, all things considered. Regulus is in a tax bracket where chain restaurants might seem like fanciful inventions, the kind of places mentioned only in tales where fine dining is unheard of. There's a brief curiosity about whether this is the equivalent of discovering that Toy Story's Pizza Planet is a real place that actually serves food.

“I've come to understand that it's a venue offering juice among a broad array of meals and beverages, yes.”

Still, that’s doesn’t explain… “How do you even know all of that? I hardly even know anything about you other than that you recently turned thirty and were homeschooled for this position.” And that he’s quite fond of the occasional handful of candied macadamias when feeling particularly indulgent. James keeps a packet of it in his bag.

Regulus’ throat bobs. “I do thorough research on the people I employ”

That’s not more than thorough research at this point, far beyond the usual background checks done on new personnel. “Uh-uh. Or you stalk my Instagram during your free time.”

Regulus promptly chokes on his food. His fork falls onto the plate with a loud clatter. James nearly knocks his knee against the table as he too scrambles for the pitcher to pour him water, almost knocking over his can of Sprite in the process.

“Easy, I was just kidding.” He has half the mind to stand up and start patting him on his back to dislodge whatever molecular-sized cucumber wedged itself in his airpipe. “I doubt Mr. Black Enterprises even uses Instagram.”

Regulus looks up startled. Definitely not from the lack of air.

Oh.

Ohohohoh.

“Oh my god.” James’ face splits into a distinguished, shit-eating grin. “You do.” 

“What?” It’s barely a wheeze with the way Regulus has been caught. His grip is deadly around the fork, something that should warn James to be wary.

“Instagram,” James repeats, trying his hardest not to gloat when Regulus shivers. “You use it? The Regulus Black uses Instagram? I thought you would be a member of some upper-echelon-exclusive platform instead of mingling with us.”

The worry swiftly dissipates, giving way to confusion, and then settles into something far more at ease. Although James enjoys those fleeting moments where he gets Regulus riled up, he much prefers seeing him relaxed. “Oh—I—Yes. Occasionally,” he stammers, swallowing and reaching for a napkin to dap at his mouth with. “Barty convinced me,” he hastily adds. “It’s a very private account. I’m hardly active on it.”

Sinking into his seat, James pats around for his own phone. “You should follow me.”

“Shu?”

“On Instagram. You should follow me. If you want, of course.”

The tips of Regulus’ ears turn a delicious pink as he returns his attention to his plate. “I’ll think about it.”

After some more idle talk and eating, they decide to head out before Barty ultimately decides it’s past working hours and he’s not dropping Regulus off at home—some palatial penthouse tucked away in one of London's secluded enclaves where the affluent reside, enjoying a life of extravagance as they remain shielded from the public gaze.

Nonetheless, the cherished designated driver will have to linger a bit longer, as both James and Regulus pull out their cards at the cash register. Being a very wise man, Hakeem registers the amount into the terminal and swiftly turns away, well aware that nothing good ever comes from getting involved.

James dismissively waves his hand. “You can put away your card, it’s on me.”

Of course, Regulus isn’t compliant in the slightest. “I made you feel obligated to stay longer than you intended, so it's only right that I pay.”

“I’m the one who invited you, come now.”

“And I’m the one responsible for making you miss out on dinner.”

“Nah. I told you, it was my fault. Seriously, I want to—”

He attempts to move closer, but Regulus also edges forward. Despite being shorter, Regulus exudes an air of authority that instinctively compels James to widen the gap between them and not bump into him. “And I insist.”

But luckily, James is taller and his arms are longer. “Gotta be quicker than that then.”

He extends his arm, shooting right past Regulus’ and taps his card against the terminal, smiling smugly when Regulus scowls up at him, not in the least impressed by his playing dirty. James’ lips part, a jab resting right on the tip of his tongue, something along the lines of ‘They don’t teach you this at fancy pants school?’ only for a chime to disrupt his train of thought.

Card declined.

“Low funds, Yakup,” Hakeem announces without looking over his shoulder like James isn’t sinking to his knees in embarrassment already. 

“You got paid four days ago,” Regulus murmurs at his side.

“Rent and utilities were due yesterday.” It nearly comes out in a whine.

“I doubt your rent takes up your whole salary.”

“I also had to pay off my credit card,” James grits out, fumbling through his wallet looking for some cash. In an alternative universe where they’re starred in some cartoon show, the poor faux leather division coughs up dust motes.

“Seriously? How much do you make?

“Might I remind you that you pay me.”

The way Regulus clutches onto his credit card, unlimited of course, one might think the poor thing is about to fold in half. James might as well, to be honest. “Move.”

“No.” His pride’s already been hurt. “Hakeem, can I pay in installments?”

“Only if you take young Khadija out on a date.”

James considers it for a moment, but Regulus the comment only makes Regulus seethe further, “Potter, if you don’t move I’ll give you a reason to worry.”

That’s enough to convince James. He steps away, all kicked puppy-like, and watches how Regulus’ payment gets processed far quicker. “Next time’s on me.”

Regulus rolls his eyes, even as the apples of his cheeks dust pink. “Come, I’m tired and want to go home.”

#GRINNING SO HARD READING THIS!!! #theyre so. theyre so. ARRFHRHFHRHH #the top secret instagram… #THE CARD DECLINING ASHSGAABASA

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ideal careers for barty crouch jr besides being a domestic terrorist:

line cook

heretic

slutty eurotrash dj

eccentric, dexterous 1890s safecracker enlisted in a high-stakes heist to steal the queen’s diamonds

the guy that people mean when they say “i know a guy” in mafia movies

STUNT MAN

2000s pop-punk emo band frontman with pictures of his crotch on myspace

manipulative high society victorian-era celebrity hypnotist famous for “causing” somnambulism at his “shows”

electrician (thanks lune)

engineer, but specifically the one behind the infrastructure used in risky motorcycle stunts

slutty eurotrash club promoter

the sound-effects foley guy for b-roll action movies who is always walking around w/ headphones and holding one of those skinny boom mics

house husband

ideal careers for regulus black besides being a failed domestic terrorist:

the sullen, withholding renaissance-era muse of a tortured artist, posing in place of the angels, his enigmatic yet eerily beautiful portrait immortalized forever on the ceiling of a cathedral

critic of any kind (professional hater)

surgeon at a hospital for stuffed animals

a broken man, unfixable. a fool, hated by all, exploited till death. only in this way will he be redeemed

cunty benedictine monk

#GOD these are fucking real #THE perfect regulus yes

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hEY HEY

question of the day for my fish!!!

would you rather turn into the jersey devil

OR

become a siren?

what the fuck is the jersey devil. i have never heard of that in my life and i looked it up but was just left with more questions. i’ll stick with siren i think. that thing is a freak

#a #james tag

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sunday snippet

thank you for the tags @fromagony @ninety-two-bees @sixlane <33 your snippets were all incredible

here's a little bartylily which once again may or may not leave my drafts

Lily was sprawled out beside him, heads close together but bodies angled away. Barty wondered that if someone were to look down on them if they’d look like one strange creature. Lily held up her hand to the sky, fingers spread like she was trying to catch the starlight. “Sometimes I wish I could just stop time and catch my breath for a moment. All the time actually," Lily said to the night sky. “I'm tired of being perceived.” Barty let the words settle between them for a moment. In the end, his curiosity won out. “Even right now?” he asked. Lily dropped her hand next to his so that their pinkies brushed. “No. Not right now.”

np tags: @ecstarry @starchaserwrites @soreddieforit @bellaxisworld @theicarusconstellation @regscupid @siriusblackfamilytrauma @prongsfish and anyone else who wants to share

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who are these guys

#1 fish 2 fish red fish queue fish

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The lyrics in Slipknot's "Custer": "CUT/CUT/CUT ME UP AND FUCK/FUCK/FUCK ME UP", describe exactly what happens in Evan and Barty's bedroom

those and the first few opening lines of disasterpiece too... poor evan is not beating the necrophiliac allegations

#barty would fuck with disasterpiece and i stand by that #slipknot in general but especially that song

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tsn is my favourite movie in the world but maybe i'm just a hater i do not want a sequel 😭😭 just saw people getting excited for it but i was horrified when i first heard about the idea. tsn wasn't good because it was about facebook, but because it was about the interpersonal relationships behind facebook. there cannot be a sequel about that because they're real people. aaron sorkin said he wants to make it because he thinks social media was responsible for the jan 6 riots and yeah i don't disagree with that but. make a different movie. i cannot imagine a way to make a real sequel of tsn. you can't just make a movie about facebook and call it a sequel?? idkkkk lol!

#none of my followers care about this #i care. #this is my personal diary it's your fault for following #'i want to see andrew and jesse reunite' #eduardo has nothing to do with facebook anymore. why the fuck would andrew be in a hypothetical sequel 😭😭😭😭😭 #i thought we all agreed that unnecessary sequels suck. have we forgotten (infinite list of failed sequels to iconic movies)