poems-never-sent

[poems-never-sent]

I often wonder

Whisper

if the clouds would have parted over us

If my depression could have floated away

as easily as I did when it seemed

the world would judge our love.

I have not fallen into

easy love.

Not after the first time, anyway,

but with you, you were different.

You were the fog that rolled in thick

when I was left without my coat

choking me with the weight of your affection

and I only just off the sick bed from pneumonia.

I wish I had had the strength

to weather the storm

or at least

to go down with the ship

until you held me under the waters

in an everlasting embrace.

Fuck what those bastards on that tiny slave ship

would have said.

I loved you,

even if it caught in my throat

and I couldn't say it.

Even if saying it would have killed me.

I should have loved you

like the sun burning away the heavy fog

until you, too, were free

and we, the watered flowers,

could finally bloom.

I think often

of the sunflowers reaching toward the heavens,

you, already so much closer than I,

drawing me up with a love so overwhelming

how could I help but fly?

But I flew toward the sun instead.

My wings melted.

I crashed far, far from home.

If only I had let you love me.

If only I had loved you.

#poems never sent #original poem #ex lovers

[poems-never-sent]

I just think

that if I could talk to you

and tell you all the bread

I am carrying

perhaps you could take

just a little

in your talons

and fly with it home.

As you coo

it might not be the thing I need

but the flapping of your wings

could bring me such comfort.

I do not know why

you flew away

so long before winter.

I thought we had many seasons

left.

I hoped you would fly above

the baptismal font

maybe to invite the fresh rain to fall.

My calendar seemed to say

you had scheduled in the time

to rest upon my shoulder

when I found the right rice

and tickle my face

as crumbs fell into my beard.

I do not know why you flew east

before we even had a chance

to bathe in the new basin.

Now you are far beyond my grasp.

I hope your freedom calls others to fly.

You are the reason they call me Icarus.

I hope to meet you in the sky.

#original poem #lost friends

[poems-never-sent]

Dear friend

Who once told me

You could never support me:

I'm glad to see you're queer

And happy

And free.

Dear friend

Who once told me

You thought trans people were sick:

I'm glad to see you're non-binary

And happy

And free.

Dear friend

Who once rode around me on roller skates

Dating a man almost as masculine as you

Never really fitting in with the people

To whom you thought you belonged:

You belong here, with us, on the queer side

In laughing and living and loving community.

I am glad you have grown into who you were

Even if we are no longer friends.

#poems never sent #distant friend #i hope your life is as wonderful as your insta