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petspurgatory · 5 years

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Emotions and feelings. Two words used interchangeably, but wrongly so.

Emotions create biochemical reactions, altering our physical state and therefore measurable. While varying from person to person , being slightly individual and depending on circumstance, they are coded in our genes and are generally universally similar across all humans. For example, you look at a loved one and your brain releases serotonin, resulting in a biochemical reaction that leaves you happily content. Or you smile and your dog wags its tail.

Feelings on the other hands are subjective. They are mental associations and our reactions to emotions, influenced by our personal experience, beliefs and memories. A feeling is a mental portrayal of what is going on in our bodies when we have an emotion. It's the byproduct of our brain perceiving and assigning meaning to the emotion, so in a causal chain, emotions preceed feelings. Our inner "truths"/"voices" determine how we interpret a physical sensation.

So if you find yourself "feeling" love, affection or close to someone, that certain someone created a biochemical reaction in your brain that altered your physical state, maybe in the form of an increased heart rate, flushed cheeks or physical arousal and so on but now comes the real interesting part. How will you interpret this? And even more interesting, how will the one causing these emotions react to your reactions? Will you invoke an emotion in them that they will interpret as something bad? What exactly is "bad" to them and why is it "bad"?

And you wanna hear the best part? Emotions stay the same, but feelings, ohh my friend, feelings change and in some people, they do so rapidly. Granted, you can never really know what exactly moves a person to a certain outcome, but in regards to love, one should always try and be as clear as can be. To oneself and to the other person, because there's almost nothing more heartwrenching, nothing more devastating, nothing coming closer to dying with a heart still beating than letting someone believe you feel the same way as them and act accordingly, and then turning around 180 degrees and not telling them why. They will be left dumbfounded, second-guessing everything they did.

You fell back in love with your ex? Tell them!

Something came up that fucked you up mentally? Tell them what it is!

You're unsure if this course of action is right because past relationships have left you traumatised? Fucking tell them what's up! Tell them what it was that traumatised you. Tell them how you plan to heal from that, if you know that and if not, that's still fine as long as you communicate it.

Chances are you have someone infront of you who really wants to see you glow with everything you got. Someone who wants to help you repair what you feel as frayed, broken. Someone who wants to walk with you through the fog. Someone who wants to help you heal your wounds, who wants to make every past relationship you had seem like child's play.

Communicate to them, clearly, how you feel, why you feel like that and why you acted like you did. Because we all have the same emotions, but you are the one controlling how you feel about them and how you act on them, so don't make someone else feel like absolut shit by keeping critical information to yourself. By keeping information, you prevent your opposite from moving on in a healthy way, or if we wanna put it in a more colloquial tone, Bitch, stop lying cause you think that hurts less, be fucking real, as precise as you can be. We all here just trying to make it through another day, so don't make someone else wish it was their last.

#feelings #emotions #shadowwork #life is hard enough already #make it count

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