pavlovean

[pavlovean]

Babies are socially accepted parasites.

[pavlovean]

#flower field

[pavlovean]

imagine you make microwave popcorn and by wild chance every single kernel has the same exact popping point and after like a minute in the microwave the bag instantly fills up with a single earsplitting gunshot noise would that be fucked up or what

[pavlovean]

insane push notif from twitter today

[pavlovean]

i should have fucking picked chemistry

[pavlovean]

please just tell me that somebody out there knows the post i’m looking for

[pavlovean]

[pavlovean]

Porky Pig’s speech pattern deconstructed.

[pavlovean]

Weaponized incompetence my ass just weaponize it back. Once my dad tries to pull the “but I don’t know how to clean the counters as well as you” on my mom and she said “ok honey I’ll show you” and she made him stand in the kitchen and watch her clean the counters. Then she pulled out a bottle of chocolate syrup and proceeded to spray the entire kitchen in chocolate, hand him the sponge and said “okay now it’s your turn”

[pavlovean]

[pavlovean]

#finn balor #otis wwe #wwe

[pavlovean]

Effeminate dentist: You need to brush more on your gums-- hold on why am I "effeminate?" What? I'm literally just a normal dentist. A masculine one, even.

Me: (struggling to speak through the dentist's fingers) youw weren't shupposhed to shee that

#tp

[pavlovean]

[pavlovean]

[pavlovean]

i dont ever want to see her step foot in a ring, but i do think that if taylor swift were a wrestler she’d have the best ring gear

#im macklemore and youre watching disney channel #ts

[pavlovean]

Both were filled at the same time with the same water, only one had oysters.

[pavlovean]

look, guys, this may seem ironic coming from a person with Verbose Disease, but I'm about to tell you the secret to winning social media: shutting the fuck up. you have a controversial discourse opinion? shut the fuck up and no one will know. can't participate in a boycott for various reasons? shut the fuck up and no one will know. you think or do something Problematic that has no bearing on anyone but yourself? shut the fuck up and no one will know. you haven't been keeping up on a pressing social issue? shut the fuck up and no one will know. your mind is a wonderful place where you can have all the bad takes in the world and they're all perfectly insulated from everyone and everything unless you try to excise them on a grand scale. you can take the mental L all by yourself without using a public platform as a confession booth and face zero repercussions and it'll be just fine. open up a damn diary and explain yourself there.