palismet

[palismet]

good afternoon we are celebrating the ttt anniversary by writing the most heart wrenching flapjack hurt/comfort fluff fic that i can't get out of my head. thank you for your time

#thank you. it is about having a friend for the first time and only being able to hold them for so long. #to know your own hands did this. ended this. inside you and outside you and too-bright. a sun within you. #it's about LIGHT METAPHORS! being the dawn and the sunset and the eclipse. #every bright star within you being his. his. his. it's the best part of you. it's always been. #i am so SAD!!!!!!!!!!!! #scribbles. #been getting over being sick and my head is just like: it's here. it's the anniversary of ur fav ep. what's up. #and i'm just in tears like FLAPJACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[palismet]

sometimes u write things and u gotta scream about it. you gotta just wail a little bit. let the demons out.

#when the character speaks to you directly in the narrative. when they go please? please? don't do this. don't let me be here alone. #and you as the reader have to go oh ... oh but i can't save you? not yet? not here? i don't have that power? i'm not holy? #and you are just LOOKING and SEEING #snippets.

[palismet]

putting my head in my hands. the grief. the grief of not knowing now where you belong .... of trying to find a place and making it for yourself and yet nothing fits the same ....

#(me from the back) you know you're never gonna feel as right!!!!!! as in your gold past life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #snippets.

[palismet]

because you're a weapon and weapons don't weep / what is a lineage if not a gold thread of pride and guilt / if i let him do this to me, what else will i allow? anything, anything, anything / nothing else matters when he loves me and nothing else matters when he doesn't / i know i should go but i follow you like a man possessed / i am the sword (if i'm not the sword, who am i?) / i will wait for the next time you want me like a dog with a bird outside your door / i am dirty, infinitely dirty, this is why i scream so much about purity / grief taught me inhumane things / if you're raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house / but you have to satisfy the monster. the monster has loved you for longer than anyone else / anything i've ever let go of has had claw marks on it / if you killed me, would you make it good? would you make it holy? / god loves you but not enough to save you.

#maisie peters vc: oh lord i'm going back to therapy! therapy! #oh god i'm gonna wring out all of the religious trauma out of this story like a man possessed. POSSESSED #HOW DO YOU LOVE / LIKE A FIST / LIKE A KNIFE !!!!!!!! #I KNOW WHAT IS AND ISN'T MINE !!!!!!! #coughs. tucks all of these back in my pockets. i'm fine i'm cool i'm so normal. completely normal. #scribbles.

[palismet]

never in my life did i think i could be so into the vibes of and arc of and writing for some colonial ass white boy named hunter, of all things, but alas. here we are, loving and thriving

#me before: man hunter is such a deep country tractor boy name. he prob works at cabela's or bass pro shop i bet #me now; nuanced and smarter: oh it's about being named into a role and then having to live with that. to try to deviate from the narrative #and try to find something else to name you the way your name should have. to become in a way unknown to you. ungiven. #to forge a path besides yourself for yourself; against all odds. your mother named you cain but you were anything but. #you were never able to pick up the stone; the sword. you were never able to find violence where there has always been a hope for ease. #you have never been able to give anyone / what they wanted. #you know / like how it be sometimes !!!! >:') #scribbles.

[palismet]

he's stupid and he's biased, your honor.

#he said it's not even a competition i didn't even want one at the beginning and i STILL got the best boy. #and then he gets to know the others and is like oh. oh so all palismen are just like that huh!!! #a softer world! #snippets.

[palismet]

you leave your home behind, but you take your ghosts with you. don't you see the problem? how the story has already begun to unravel, before your eyes, in your hands: the way the world is too gentle, the light too bright, how your reflection doesn’t really look like you? hunter expects the human realm to be at least somewhat similar to that of life on the boiling isles. it isn’t, and he struggles to come to terms. or: times hunter does domestic human things the wrong way, and how over time he begins to get it just right (in his own way, which means kind of, not really, not at all).

hope u all enjoy some time in the human realm + trying to adjust to it after king's tide angst n comfort vibes. i have a handful of chapters for it lined up and outlined further so far, so buckle up, we're in for a ride >:)

#pictured: me wringing out thanks to them vibes for a what we could've had ... all the storylines .... #all of the hurt n comfort and gentle silliness ... i am bringing it into being it IS what we deserve #evil fun hurt comfort hours your honor. i have too much of this. all of it brings me sooo much joy. #the owl house #the owl house fic #toh fic #hunter toh #toh hunter

[palismet]

he would sacrifice himself for them. listen to me. listen to me, he would, he did, and even still he would give everything. he would choose to give everything.

do you understand what i'm saying? he would choose.

everything he has ever lived for has been chosen for him. a guiding light to live by, a glowing halo of rightness that was always out of reach. never crowned, but close. always having to earn and work and prove to be there. to have the the right to it.

with the others? he's - he doesn't have to. for the first time, he doesn't have to work for their care, their attention. he can just be. he can be whatever he wants. do you realize how insane that must feel for him.

what do you mean you don't want me as a tool. i can do things, i can give you things, i have worked my whole life to be the sharp edge of a blade and you want me to be soft? you want me to be whatever i am, however i come? how does that make any sense?

to never have that, and now do, so fast and so decisive it must feel like leaving something integral behind you for it? here, in it, almost a near-thing, like dusk, like dawn, the cusp of everything new?

of course he'd give them everything he has. they'd do the same for him. and what do you do, with that, other than do it first? to grasp the chance with both hands and say thank you for finding me?

#it's about being a thing made for loyalty and then having no fealty to pledge. about having others see you and go - #but what are you? who are you beneath that; beyond that? what do you want to be? #and to have no answer. but to be comforted; even still; that you have time. that they will go with you. #going absolutely insane this afternoon boys. going feral ! #hunter toh #the owl house #the owl house analysis #toh analysis #i think ab zeno's quote all the time. all the time it means sooo much to me. big brain move

[palismet]

Here is the problem: Hunter doesn’t know what to do with his hands.

He wouldn’t even know what to do with his hands.

that first & last line parallel ... i feel it in my blood like caffeine.

it's that good ouroboros lore, it's the feeling that your decisions have already been pre-made, far before you, beyond you? how the story is already set, long before you'd ever even taken a breath?

if your narrative isn't an endless loop, doing spirals around spirals until the entire thing a a parallel of itself, a parable of it's own telling, what're you even doing, u know?

#it's ab how you have always been and always will be doomed by the narrative !! how you try n try to only be in the same place! #scribbles. #snippets. #anyway obsessed w/ finally sitting down to finish the first chapter of this fic and accidentally writing like 3 chapters. #without knowing it. me putting lil breaks in: haha it'll be a long first one! that'll be fun! #the me in my head: you are literally. you are. the breaks are RIGHT THERE

[palismet]

it's giving 'what do you want and how much is it gonna cost me' sibling energy and it brings me so much joy

#you can tell this is early early drafting stages bc it's all still in lowercase and silly ghjkd #gotta get the VIBES out there first u know the way of things. #i love gus sm. a brilliant burnt out gifted kid who gives off such undiagnosed autism vibes. my son. #i need more fics of them so i WILL do it myself thank u !!! #scribbles. #snippets.

[palismet]

this chapter is giving me so much trouble but man .... man this idea is haunting me each time i scroll by it.

if we're putting the weight on luz's insecurities in the w&d nightmare scenario, that this is what she feels she is: trying to always be more than what she can be, always wishing to be understood but always falling short? she has made this world into a story of her own making, her own narrative, playing god, just like belos.

to have it pushed back at her, to hear hunter say no, no you can't save me, i'm not a character, i don't have a place in your silly stories - i don't deserve it, like something too honest to hold. to heavy a truth to handle, hurt and horror and everything terrible.

because here, it means - failure. who is the hero if they don't save everyone? if they leave someone behind?

#there's gotta be some name for the metaphor when your characters deny being characters. #' i'm not in the story ' says the story. #emo ab my fic today folks ! working slowly but surely on it and 7 other things at once but oh we are always having emotions. #scribbles. #toh fic #the owl house fic

[palismet]

i am putting together the pieces. i am hurting. the pieces are there, bc it's the same look. it's the same smile.

it's always, in his story, about sacrifice. it's about giving yourself up to a cause bigger than you, what you have been meant for, made for? as both solider and grimwalker; to know the hurt you go through is for the greater good. to know, weighted and assured and certain, that you are making the right decision, no matter the cost.

because nothing is greater than giving everything you have for the people you love. for the opportunity to help them, save them.

it's bravery in the face of your fear. it's about doing what you think is best no matter the consequences. it's a similar feeling - and yet they are totally different, coming from entirely separate places.

it's the same expression but the based emotions are different, the intentions are different, because hunter is different.

and the story, for him, here – has finally, finally, changed.

#oh two second cut frame from thanks to them you will always be canon in my heart. #you deserved the FAMEEEE every single angsty fanedit you will live forever in my heart !!!! #the owl house #the owl house analysis #hunter toh #toh hunter #the owl house hunter

[palismet]

the nocedas have a peanut butter jar that is just hunter's because he constantly eats out of it with a spoon. it's his. he's marking his territory with germs. he's got an eating disorder and he's doing his best to just eat something sometimes so they're happy with it.

luz pranks him by bedazzling his name on the side of one of the jars in bright pink and he may, accidentally, be very careful when washing it out when he's finished with it, keeping it with his things afterwards. it's fine, it's just not necessary to trash something she worked hard on, is all. he totally doesn't like it, or anything

#eating disorder mention #hunter toh #the owl house #pittwins #i know i have not one (1) original thought but u kno. it fits and it's my canon now ! #soft times of healing in the human realm. the chance to be someone different; someone new. #to be seen? finally? finally seen; in all of this new light. #and maybe - even if he still sometimes thinks he has to earn it somehow - maybe even loved? what a revelation. what a concept. #m allowed to have a little fun and shitpost ab my fic as it's being developed !! #the siblings ever. i am totally normal ab them 🥺💛

[palismet]

u ever go in to do final reads to look for spelling errors and weird formatting things and accidentally, idk, end up adding five hundred more words

#scribbles. #it happens every time and now i gotta do those checks AGAIN #and it's just going to happen AGAIN #and i wouldn't have it any other way but my things will never be posted like thisssss

[palismet]

the alt. thanks to them opening boards are going to emotionally scar me for life. look at his face. luz is terrified but desperate with a hope she feels is unfounded, needing that optimism to imagine a way out of this that doesn't hurt; that doesn't end in more tragedy?

she thinks they're on the same level of bad but sad. that she did as much as hunter in the name of helping belos, without knowing the whole truth of who belos was, who he is. she's traumatized by it.

she needs to not be alone in it.

the i'll keep your secret if you keep mine is a knife to the heart. we are in this together, she is saying. whether we like it or not, at least we have each other. at least i'm not alone.

but what do you say to that? how do you make a witch's oath without magic? you take it to heart. you hold it closer to anything. there aren't words for a devotion like that, the kind of devotion hunter has led with his entire life, and now, here, it's for luz. it's for everyone, for protecting them, to be able for them to get home again.

it's reminiscent of that good old golden guard loyalty, but remade in the light of this new world, new life. it's a cause to live by, a goal, a dream; and as the story goes, we can see - there isn't much he isn't willing to sacrifice for it, especially if the cost is only himself.

(he has nothing to return for, after all. he has a graveyard, filled to the brim with bones and masks and a future he only narrowly escaped.)

sacrifice - that is something he's been waiting for his whole life. so of course he's willing to risk everything for them. what better ending is there, where at the very least, his friends can go home to where they are loved? where no one has to be afraid, anymore?

#toh analysis #the owl house #thanks to them #toh storyboards #the owl house storyboards #hunter toh #luz toh #hey u ever think ab how hunter has been trained AND made to be a sacrifice his entire life? for phillip and the coven? #u ever think ab that frame they cut of the end of the danger deep water battle w/ belos possessing hunter at the end of the ep. #his small; shrew smile he gives after 'never hurt anyone ever again'? #i think of that and the smile he gave at the end of hunting palismen. the smile of acceptance. of i am doing all that i can; #of i am doing what is Right. it's the same thing here. that determination. that need to do what is Right. #obsessed with his ARCCCC look at how much he has changed and yet how some things stay! #how it's almost FORESHADOWED right here in this moment? the soft nod of i'm here with you? i will make sure you're not alone? #bc of course it ends in sacrifice. of course he would give everything for them; their kindness; their love n acceptance? #how couldn't he!!!! it's what he wanted + waited for his entire life and the meaning of that? the power of it? magic of friendship 🥺💛 #and then flap :( which he would never expect. why would anyone sacrifice for Him? it's only supposed to be the other way around? #the hurt of it!!!! the love!!! the way he is never prepared in the face of it!!! i'm so normal ab this !!!!!

[palismet]

u ever think about how hunter would learn about wolves in the human realm and then have the windows open, hear a familiar, distant sound and go oh! oh! wolves in connecticut! wolves in connecticut! and it's just the siren of an ambulance

#hunter toh #the owl house #it's a canon event we can't help him :( luz is laughing and he is doing his best not to be devastated :( #the excited; thrilled press of his ear to the window mesh / trying to get as close as possible to hear it? to be Sure? #and then the continual awooo of it and just going oh. oh. medical transport worm. gotcha. gotcha. i knew that. #him? excited? dunno what u mean. that was fine he's not disappointed or anything #it's living near hospital lore™. the constant vibe of it. #a silly boy !!!!!!!!!!! #after a brief google search i now am aware there are no wolves in connecticut. can you imagine his betrayal. #hunter: u could live anywhere and you chose??? a place with no natural wildlife??? #luz: wolves aren't natural town wildlife. they're an apex predator who like to live away from cities bc People #hunter: well at least they've got something good going for them! it's what they Deserve!! #and he'd be right !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[palismet]

hunting palismen ending storyboards you will always be dear to me. it always makes me feel something so soft and forlorn. that lil smile? the gentleness of it all, even as it fades into something more pensive?

the cradling of flapjack's staff, the ease already at his presence; tinged with fear and hesitance, but the comfort still there. to finally have something that is freely given, that doesn't have to be continually earned. to have a friend that chose you, even where you are now, even at your most contrasted against the story? to be chosen. not destined, or fated for something, but chosen, freely, wildly, as in i am here, with you, of my own volition. i am yours above all else - i choose you.

no wonder he wasn't expecting that, no wonder he immediately held it close, and then at a wide distance. what do you do in the face of a feeling you have never felt, never really truly believed you'd earned before? you hold it as close as you can. you dream of one day earning it. you push it as far as you can, because you know, you know - it is a day that will never come.

and then it does, it does, it does.

#toh storyboards #the owl house #hunter toh #toh analysis #he doesn't have any comparison!!! and it is the saddest thing!! #slamming my hands down in my desk he is happy!!!! here in these few frames of a moment he is happy!!!!! for the first time; #in this way; something has been given to him. he has never had this before and it has to feel like something entirely new? #it has to hold in him like a light that can't go out. that he'd never let dim. suddenly - there is a palisman belos can't have. #and that CHANGE??? THAT SHIFT??? #it makes me go crazy. a whole story told here in like. two seconds. insane. dana terrance & crew pls give me therapy money #or a job!!!!! i'm not picky!!!!!