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rebooting una's blog to spare myself the constant hell of beta fucking up my old legacy tags <3. she'll be over at @owedfavors as always!

#i have three archives this is ridiculous #but ah well tumblr decided to be stupid about beta editor and tags so... here we are #⤷ file / from the writer’s desk.

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so I'm just sayin'... since snw is going the route of 'let's make una super casual with the crew'... and since they're bringing in spock's vulcan lyre... I deserve music hour with una and spock. I deserve her singing.

#⤷ file / from the writer’s desk. #snw negativity // #not really but IN CASE

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I'm preserving this for posterity because god... I am so ready to fight the whole goddamn universe over una's treatment / characterization in snw, and odette said it perfectly...

#⤷ file / from the writer’s desk. #snw negativity //

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Don't thank me. I know I'm good at my job.

#promo tag tumblr forgot #god this is the prettiest promo??? odette makes the prettiest things #but look odette is everything and if you’re not loving her and her girl #you should be #they’re both utter delights #and I love them very much

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so, in light of the trailer, this is a little pre-season 2 reminder that

in this house we do not respect or abide by una’s characterization in snw

unless this season turns around and blows me away ( unlikely ), I will not be acknowledging season 2 events at all. my post s1 verse is canon divergent and places una with section 31, not back on the enterprise. ( I’m happy to chat about an au in which somehow she is able to return to enterprise, but I will NOT default to it ).

#I’m grumpy already and that… bodes so well #I love almost everything in that trailer #but not una. very much not for una. #because what the fuck #is this characterization #they’re just gonna lean into everything they did wrong in s1 and compound on it and asldkfj #my girl… my love my light my life… I will defend her to the ends of the universe #snw negativity // #just in case #⤷ file / from the writer’s desk.

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finally watched last thursday’s episode. did I cry? yes.

#⤷ file / from the writer’s desk. #picard spoilers // #sort of only not

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sometimes I forget that una canonically reprogrammed the enterprise replicators because neither of the programs were good enough for her…

this post also brought to you by “someone make me write up headcanons about una and food because god”

#q&a is such a godsend honestly #⤷ file / from the writer’s desk.

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he has not and never will hear criticism from her that is meant as an attack, and she could state it as absolute promise with utter certainty. she has it in her to be ruthless, and in the right circumstances, with the right person, such might be the intent behind her words. never with him; christopher pike has long-since earned her trust, admiration even, and if she must ever temper some of his tendencies, it is never through judgment on him.

❛ because you failed to come up with a viable alternative, one that would have saved everyone? because it was an impossible situation in which there was no perfect way out? we all failed to come up with an alternative; that’s not your burden to bear alone. ❜ none of them had known, none of them could have known, when the away team beamed down to the surface, what they would find. none of them could have known the dangers, none of them could have foreseen the sacrifice that would have to be made to save so many others.

yet it was no one’s fault. not his, nor that of the away team, who had made the final decision on their own. ❛ with all the time in the world, I don’t doubt we could have found another way. we didn’t have time. ❜ it was a puzzle that had continued to nag at the back of her mind for weeks after, seeking a solution. una cannot leave anything unsolved, cannot concede defeat, and refuses to believe that there can be no winning solution.

their greatest foe is time, the ticking clock that hovers over them and not only impedes their focus and decision-making but also limits the time to collect and process all available information. to draw the connections and devise the solution needed.

❛ and even if you weren’t at the top of your game, you’re not expected to be perfect. there’s plenty more philosophically minded than myself who have pointed out that if we were perfect, we wouldn’t be human anymore. ❜ and perhaps there’s an irony in that, coming from her, she who strives so hard for that perfection. ( then again, she isn’t human, is she? ) ❛ and that’s why you, as the captain, have a senior staff. so that when you aren’t at your best, we can make up the difference. ❜ / @cptnpike

❛ I'll try to remember next time. Hell, I'll try to avoid a next time, that'd be best for all of us. ❜ The reminder that their friendship is far too strong to get in the way of their duties is welcome; it should be unnecessary, he thinks both of them would prefer it if he could shed his melancholic doubts which afflicted his faith and confidence and not let it mud the waters of his mind. It was a struggle to not let it happen. When it seeped into his mind, it cloyed everything, making it hard for him to swim up and break free.

This was why starship captains were encouraged to surround themselves with a trusted senior staff. Cowboys who never listened to everyone were dangerous. There was no one to pull them back. And sometimes, one trusted person wasn't enough. There was Boyce, April and finally Una, all of them approaching his doubts from different angles and nudging him towards the same conclusion.

❛ I think I know it when you're attacking me and when you're calling me out on my shit. I never heard the former, but I'm very familiar with the latter. ❜ He replies, smile inviting and warm.

The others were able to mostly dispel the swirls in his mind, but it was only here that he found the way back to his old self. ❛ I would. ❜ Eyes close, head shaking slightly from side to side. ❛ Doesn't mean... Doesn't mean I still don't believe that I wasn't at the top of my game a few months ago. ❜

#cptnpike #cptnpike:003 #⤷ file / interactions. #⤷ verse / canon | to unpath’d waters‚ undream’d shores. #I had to go dig up messages from SEPTEMBER where we discussed #how you viewed what happened

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he is too visibly pleased by their inverted roles for una to harbor either irritation or exasperation, and as it is, she only restrains a smile of her own with conscious effort. she is too grateful for the conclusion of enterprise’s repairs and the return of both she and chris to the ship to harbor even the faintest glimmer of a thought of ruining his fun. ❛ delighted though I would be to take credit for such a devious plan and its very fruitful results… ❜

❛ I got myself in trouble — unintentionally. is that what you wish to hear me say? ❜ the confession costs her little save her pride ( an easy price to pay, here ), which it has already taken plenty of blows in recent days. if it will make him happy, he may have the easy victory — mostly. ❛ though, in my defense, the injury was part of the getting arrested, so can you really count them as two separate strikes against me? ❜ she digs her own grave with the question, because in his place, in her usual place, she most certainly would count it twice. and so too shall he, in revenge for those countless instances.

she does have one earnest protest she might make. ❛ I am, however, not skipping my recovery time. I’m sitting here in my quarters, am I not? not in my office, nor on the bridge, nor interrogating department heads on their current status. ❜ she lifts the padd that had occupied her attention when he enters from her side and shows it to him. ❛ I’m not even reading reports. ❜ the text on the screen is a translated piece from the aenar literary canon. entirely recreational reading.

m’benga had said tomorrow, and while if he’d insisted on anything longer by way of recuperation time, she’d be guilty of the crime chris accuses her of, she’s fortunate: she can abide by the rules without true sacrifice of sitting idle too long. she is too tired to focus on work this evening, regardless, her thoughts to full of events to process.

Number Obe’s jests, as well aimed as they are, can’t touch him today.⠀⠀⠀For once, they are not litigating his history, or his tendency of getting into trouble at the drop of a hat;⠀⠀⠀she was the one who required saving from an alien prison⠀⠀⠀ —⠀ ⠀at the moment, he is not taking into account that she was in the middle of her own prison break and would probably have done just fine without him.⠀⠀⠀In the official report for the mission, he wasn’t stingy with his praise, praising her tactical skills and the actions she had taken to ensure the culture wasn’t further contaminated;⠀⠀⠀if he wasn’t already aware that she is allergic to promotions, he’d even worry that he went too far.⠀⠀⠀Knowing her as he does, however, he can just relax back and smile.

❛⠀⠀⠀I see it now. ⠀ ⠀ You let yourself get arrested by an alien species that hasn’t figured out, not properly, warp, because you were trying to get me back on the chair.⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ he says, waving a hand lazily in her direction, an accusatory note creeping into his tone. ⠀ ⠀

In a split second, Christopher considers that this worked out very well for her. ⠀ ⠀ Bruised ankle aside, and she’d be fine tomorrow, clearly, Una got everything she wanted:⠀ ⠀ a completed, successful mission and he was back on the chair.⠀ ⠀ It is only for a split second.⠀ ⠀ While he believed she could orchestrate such an operation without much trouble, she wouldn’t manipulate him in such a manner.

It was the universe’s ironic hand which guided him here.

❛⠀⠀⠀You know what? That makes a whole lot more sense, cause from where I’m standing, and correct me if I’m wrong, you let yourself get arrested, you were hurt on an away mission,⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ here there is a small hum, lips pressing together in a tight line, a smile almost bursting through, ⠀ ⠀ ❛⠀⠀⠀and now you are saying that what you need is to skip your recovery time and go back to work immediately.⠀ ⠀ ❜

He was running through all the classics, all the things she had said over the years when he limped back to work before it was time, or when he just decided there was no need to have a medical professional’s opinion and she throughly and effectively skewered him for it.⠀⠀⠀Chris got it now.⠀⠀⠀It was a lot of fun.

❛⠀⠀⠀Did I have that right?⠀ ⠀ ❜

#cptnpike #cptnpike:009 #⤷ file / interactions. #⤷ verse / canon | to unpath’d waters‚ undream’d shores. #she’s just so damn happy to see him happy that she’s willing to give him the win on this one without a fight #except she knows there’s no fun to it if she doesn’t argue at least a bit lol

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Ladies of Star Trek: Number One - “The Cage”  (Majel Barrett)

#in honor of me spending way too much of the day thinking about the cage #I think it's only fair we all appreciate majel because What A Queen #⤷ char. / visage. #not really but shhhh #⤷ char. / character study.

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she had braced herself for the hard explanations, prepared herself for the question she had felt certain he would offer first. this, this she could have answered long ago, on that long, agonizingly silent walk here. comparatively, there was little by way of weight to this question.

una does not even attempt to mask her surprise. they are out of sorts, as has become overwhelmingly abundant, yet she does not doubt for a moment he would pick it up regardless. ( and, fundamentally, there is no need to hide it. )

❛ rheya is no one. ❜ it sounds like she is attempting to sidestep his question, but she harbors no intent to do so. before he can protest, can argue that this does not constitute a straight answer, she continues, ❛ an alias, nothing more. I can’t exactly travel under the name una chin-riley. it wouldn’t mean much to these people, but all it would take would be the wrong ear to overhear in the wrong place at the wrong time, and starfleet would have to account for why I am not where every official piece of documentation ❜ — forget official, every piece of documentation — ❛ insists I should be — and should be for the rest of my life. ❜

❛ that would be… inconvenient. for everyone. ❜ and would promptly end her little tenuous agreement with section 31, who would have no choice but to relinquish her to federation justice, properly. a smile that does not quite reach her eyes tugs at the corner of her lips. ❛ I didn’t choose the name. ❜ but what’s one name or another, in the grand scheme of things? none are hers, none will ever be hers.

she shakes her head, dismissing the thoughts. ❛ or did you want to know who rheya is to them, my cover story? ❜ a nod towards the street, towards the city beyond. she doubts it, for it seems trivial in the grand scheme of things, but who is to say: perhaps he’s decided its better to focus upon the mission, to leave all else behind such that it cannot be a distraction.

For half the night, his mind had crawled with questions, waiting for the opportunity to shake them out of her, if she refused to answer him.⠀ ⠀Before, he never would have wandered if she was capable of really lying to him;⠀ ⠀white lies were one thing, a necessity of life, offered in order to keep the day going.⠀ ⠀He was guilty of more than his fair share of white lies, and dark, turbulent ones when the truth was something he couldn’t bring himself to say to her.⠀ ⠀Number One knowing something somehow made it real. ⠀ ⠀As long as they existed in the recesses of his mind, kept there and covered by playful omissions, he could outrun them.⠀ ⠀Now, he can’t help but wonder.

Una promised to tell him the truth, and that still carried a lot of weight. ⠀ ⠀A memory, however, troubles him. ⠀ ⠀Once, he asked her to tell him the truth, had come as close to begging as he’d allow himself, and she lied. ⠀ ⠀Evaded. ⠀ ⠀Sidestepped his questions with a grace and ease he didn’t expect from her. ⠀ ⠀It had taken months, and another ill-fated mission, for the truth about her past to be revealed. ⠀ ⠀The same thing which took her away from the Enterprise. ⠀ ⠀That first night, the truth had been at the tips of his fingertips, close enough for him to grasp that whatever she was keeping from him was monumentally personal, and he had allowed her to leave; ⠀ ⠀their current situation wasn't so different from the second night, when she had been forced to tell the truth. ⠀ ⠀An accident.

One lie in ten years of friendship. ⠀ ⠀Most people would describe him as lucky, recounting all the lies they heard from their friends that day; ⠀ ⠀but most people weren’t them. ⠀ ⠀One lie and if he had… ⠀ ⠀he could have pulled rank, or asked for the truth every single day until she forgot why she was lying to him. ⠀ ⠀One lie. ⠀ ⠀And it destroyed them. ⠀ ⠀

Except it wasn’t really one lie, was it? ⠀ ⠀Starfleet intelligence made it clear that she left a trail of deceptions in her wake. ⠀ ⠀Though…. ⠀ ⠀technically, in the broadest of terms possible, it was still one lie. ⠀ ⠀She lied to him once, and then kept it up, all to protect her original sin.

❛⠀⠀⠀You are wrong. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ Chris corrects after a moment of contemplation. ⠀ ⠀ As much as he wanted to know how the hell she ended up here, with him, when the voices quieted, that was not the question he needed an answer to. ⠀ ⠀ ❛⠀⠀⠀Don’t worry, I won’t collect on that today. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ The spoon clinks on the walls as he plays with it, stirring far too much, delaying having to ask his question. ⠀ ⠀

❛⠀⠀⠀I want to know who Rheya is. ⠀ ⠀ ❜

#cptnpike #cptnpike:010 #⤷ file / interactions. #⤷ verse / section 31 | the bright day is done‚ and we are for the dark.

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I cannot believe I am writing these words on this blog, but we’re gonna talk about ‘the cage’ for a moment. and I find this even harder to believe, but we’re not here for me to complain about it.

so I was taking myself down a rabbit hole this morning of una and her… frankly unhinged tendencies, as exhibited first by deciding to overload a phaser and kill them all to solve their problem.

but it also made me realize… the talosians believe she’s human. and of course they did, because she was human and her illyrian heritage is a ( beta canon / snw ) addition. but when she sets the phaser to overload, the talosian looks between her and pike and asks “is this a deception? do you intend to destroy yourselves?” the telepathic talosian doesn’t know whether una is bluffing, and looks to pike for answers.

and so, because I can, and because it pleases me, and because I like canon to agree and not contradict, I am going to interpret all of this to mean that the talosians are unable to read her mind ( though obviously they can still affect her perception of things in order to convince her the phaser is uncharged, that their efforts to blast through the door were unsuccessful, etc. so, I will see the limitation extending only to directly reading her thoughts ). something in her illyrian genetic make-up prevents it. why they don’t stop to examine their inability to read her, I don’t know. they may not even realize it until that final scene on the planets surface when he needs a direct read on her and cannot get it.

and, yes, my explanation does also create a direct contradition with what the talosians know ( or claim to know ) about her. however, they are in the minds of literally every other member of the crew. they have drawn their knowledge of her from the minds of the crew, not from her directly. so while her intelligence is undeniable, everything else we can take with a grain of salt.

below the cut, please find pointless rambling about una overloading her phaser. most of this is me laughing.

but on another note, I do also want to talk about that scene upon the planet’s surface and her decision to overload the phaser. because una’s explanation for that decision is “it's wrong to create a race of humans to keep as slaves.” it strikes me as the sort of moral justification I would expect more from pike than from una. and though I’ve never properly written it up, most of una’s moral compass comes from pike.

so I honestly love that he goes for the self-sacrificial play ( he’ll stay if the talosians let his crew go, including una and colt ), and una has to step in and go ‘don’t be ridiculous’. only her version of ‘don’t be ridiculous’ is to overload a phaser and kill them all. as if that isn’t just as ridiculous, in a different way. but pike immediately backs her play. he bails on his self-sacrificial bargain and adopts her alternative, and I am emotional about it…

#can’t believe I’m saying things about the cage that aren’t me griping about it #the one person who can most appreciate how much of a miracle this is #isn’t in the trek fandom anymore and I am sad about it #tumblr forgot my tag so #portrayal tag tbd #tag later #⤷ file / from the writer’s desk.

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I don't think they'd understand it, no    (    for @owedfavors  )

#asldkfj oDETTE. #it’s been hours and this is still killing me #you’re feeling normal about the playlist and I’m feeling equally normal about this #that makes us even right?? #that’s now that works? #cptnpike #⤷ rel. / cptnpike | know you with eyes wide open. #you’re so tempting me to change that tag #but it will wait for the new blog…

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I think we all know how I feel about ‘the cage’ , but sometimes I think about how una’s solution to the whole disaster is to overload her phaser like… una, darling…

#I can’t find the scene and I’m going crazy because I refuse to watch the whole episode #but also I can’t remember the specific context of this and I need it #(for no reason other than that my brain has decided I do) #but god I love this woman so much #⤷ file / from the writer’s desk.

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there’s no doubt in la’an’s abilities to urge her back to work; if there were anyone in whose hands she would most willingly leave her responsibilities, it is her friend’s. rather, it is a selfish drive, a need for the normalcy of her routines, a desire to be busy. ❛ I can’t think of a better way to stretch out sore muscles than to get back to work. ❜ perhaps not her shift upon the bridge itself, but her other duties leave her plenty of ground to cover — engineering, to cargo bays, to science labs, to medlab. ❛ and we both know I’ll feel better for it. ❜ her tone is gentle, despite her rejection of the offer, tinged with a wry humor at the traits they both exhibit and are therefore all too familiar with.

her lips press together at his surprisingly subtle change in topic, as much to keep herself from smiling as anything else. she deserves it: kiley 279 was far from her most successful of missions. she has been dreading a judgmental response from starfleet to her mission reports since she had sent them not an hour before.

at least with her captain, she knows the comments do not stem from true disapproval, nor from displeased judgment. if he is too delighted by the rare mess in which she had found herself, it’s only because it levels the playing field. ( briefly, just this once. don’t expect it to last, chris, she thinks ). she can read between the lines, knows him well enough after all this time to know.

no matter the place of friendship from which his response stems ( or maybe because of it ), una is unwilling to to yield to him, to confess her failure and acknowledge that he is right. instead, eyebrows raised, she retorts, ❛ now, whose fault is that? ❜ you are the one who stepped away for months, runs the implication of her tone. not accusatory ( never accusatory ), but merely teasing, though she has worried at times about his absence which yawned far more noticeably even then when he was gone serving aboard discovery.

her lips curve in a smile. ❛ I guess it’s a good thing you’re back where you belong: you can save me from trouble by getting into it yourself instead. and, it’s also a good thing that enterprise is back in one piece, so… can we agree to try and keep her that way, at least for a few weeks? preferably months. ❜ though she does not say it, she has missed this. missed the ship that is home, and the people that have become home. ❛ just imagine the trouble I’ll get into if she gets grounded to spacedock again. ❜

❛⠀⠀⠀I apologize. ⠀ ⠀ Commander La'an is excellent. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ The words are followed by a round of laughter; ⠀ ⠀ it was exactly what he expected, her prompt response so perfectly Una that he accepts it, with slight abashment, as his welcome home. ⠀ ⠀ La'an truly was a testament to Una, and her own resilience; ⠀ ⠀ cleverer than any person should have the right to be, fierce and terrifying. ⠀ ⠀ He is still shaking his head as he stretches down in front of her, legs crossing over each other, adjusting in the suit he usually occupies with familiar ease.

❛⠀⠀⠀Of course you can come back tomorrow, but that doesn't mean you need to.⠀ ⠀ There's nothing wrong with taking a few days to stretch out the sore muscles before jumping back in. ⠀ ⠀ ❜⠀ ⠀ His insistence is a formality, and a dash of his faith. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ Even St. Jude would tell him to keep his mouth shut, but Christopher can't help himself. ⠀ ⠀

Not when there is a smallest chance she'll say you are right, I should take a break. ⠀ ⠀ He wouldn't even lord it over her if she did ⠀ ⠀ — ⠀ ⠀ and not just because the surprise would make it impossible for him to get a word out, more than anything else, he would be too thankful to protest.

Lifting his eyebrows, he makes a show of once again looking for her over for injuries, though he knows that it is in her voice he can find her answer. ⠀ ⠀ There is a slight strain, enough for him want to argue, not enough that he believes anything he'll say makes any difference. ⠀ ⠀ Come hell or high water, she'll be there on the bridge tomorrow. ⠀ ⠀ And she calls him stubborn.⠀

Once done, a small tutting noise breaks through his lips. ⠀ ⠀ As expected, M'Benga's assessment was correct; ⠀ ⠀ she is alright, back in one piece, a little worse for the wear, but what else can you expect? ⠀ ⠀ Which means he can move on to the next item on his agenda.⠀

❛⠀⠀⠀Of course, it's not like I could leave you alone any longer.⠀⠀⠀Imagine what sorta trouble you'd have gotten yourself into next!!⠀⠀⠀A few months without me and you get yourself caught. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ If his statement echoes any prior conversation, the voice saying something along these lines is distinctively more feminine, and far less amused. ⠀ ⠀

#cptnpike #cptnpike:009 #⤷ file / interactions. #⤷ verse / canon | to unpath’d waters‚ undream’d shores. #I don’t remember if I have said this to you before #but una is never letting him live down the fact #that she brought him enterprise after repairs #only for him to get nearly a quarter of the saucer section damaged almost immediately

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she insists on selecting their destination when at long last they leave behind the now agonizingly boisterous gathering. the corridors of chancellor mraden are winding, too crowded with people even though the night has tipped to morning and progresses towards the dawn. she is tired ( too tired for the honesty that will be required ), worn thin by the press of noise and people and the necessity of keeping up a facade.

all too often, she has missed her quarters upon enterprise, the lull of the warp core’s steady hum, the expanse of star-strewn space beyond her window, and nothing save reports or a book to pull her attention. walking now with chris at her side, she misses it more, as if this were some mission, that, now completed, they might leave behind for the bright corridors of the ship that is home.

she cannot stand the thought of facing this conversation sitting within the confines of the small room in which she stays here. instead, it’s to a small tea shop, nestled in an alley-turned garden far off the main roads, that she leads them. it’s open at all hours, though with the city’s denizens all at rest ( or finishing their rowdy festivities ), it is quiet, empty save for a single employee and one guest who sits by the door, stewing over pen and paper. the night air is brisk, offset by heaters spaced at intervals around the outdoor tables, and it’s a contrast, a balance, that she appreciates. she can focus here, here with foliage of potted trees and vines that climb the stone walls around them offering a stark contrast to their previous surroundings.

still, una does not speak to him until they are seated in the back, the most private of tables. she does not address the matter at hand until tea rests upon the table, until she has poured it, until she holds between her hands, a soothing warmth. she does not bring the cup to her lips.

chris has been more than patient — far more patient, una thinks, than she would possibly have been in his place. yet, to broach the topic, to begin any explanations, is harder than it should be. it had been so easy, earlier, to push it off, to insist it would be easy when the time came, to feel almost eager to have it off her chest. now, that eagerness has given way to trepedation. the breath she takes before she speaks is unsteady, but she looks up from the cup in her hands at last.

❛ alright. I promised you answers — to anything. am I correct in assuming that your first question will be how I am here? ❜

// @cptnpike.

#cptnpike #cptnpike:010 #⤷ file / interactions. #⤷ verse / section 31 | the bright day is done‚ and we are for the dark. #so I assumed that he would wait for her since he knows her #(and therefore knows that pressing her doesn’t work) #but if that’s incorrect let me know and I’ll rewrite!

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in a way, she is not his anything, technically speaking. no longer is she his first officer, nor does the more remotely vague description of ‘colleague’ apply, and can she really be called his friend after months of absence ( months of lies )? there’s half a dozen ways he could have started that sentence such that he could have managed an introduction without this — without his own floundering, without the sharp stab of pain that accompanies the tightening of her chest.

una has spent a lifetime concealing emotions, however, and she grasps instead at the humor of his predicament, molding it into armor and mask all in one. she quirks an eyebrow at him ( dramatic enough to be unmistakably deliberate ), ghost of a wry smile upon her lips. she turns that same smile, minus the eyebrow, upon the couple. as if chris had never spoken, not finishing his sentence but starting over, she introduces herself with the alias section 31 had assigned her this time, a name that carries no meaning for her. ( they are too close here to federation and starfleet affairs, and section 31 has all but forbidden her from use of the name una chin-riley, no matter how far outside of federation space she might find herself. out of caution, they insist. ) ❛ rheya carr. ❜ the automatic way her fingers form a traditional greeting masks her as the stranger she truly is here.

with her next intake of breathe, una musters an easy-going nature so unlike herself, but no longer an unfamiliar guise to wear. a tip of the head in chris’ direction, an edge of conspiratory humor, and she continues, ❛ forgive him; I caught him off guard, turning up unexpectedly. ❜ this humor, unlike that to which she had offered him but minutes ago, is calculated, not her. she feels the tug of her smile differently, the tone of her voice not stilted but something different nonetheless. a role to play, nothing more, and she has become good at being something other than herself.

she offers his friends a full truth, and she leaves them to draw their own conclusions. so often, she had found it easier to catch and embrace the expectations of those one met than to invent explanations — especially when to do so might merely draw more attention, more question, than acting as if it is nothing remarkable.

though desperate as always to cut straight to the matter at hand, to bluntly ask the questions they need answered, una tempers her nature. on her own, she would have no choice but to find the empty phrases expected at such a meeting, at such an occasion as this party, no matter how bitter they would taste on her tongue, no matter how forced they would feel. she has done it enough in recent months.

on her own, she would have to. but here, by some miracle of fate ( she will gladly take back every derisive thing she has ever said about fate if it accounts for his presence here ), she is not alone. here, she can let chris take the lead on making friends.

The ability to compartmentalize continues to evade him.⠀⠀⠀Half-worried about Una and exactly how she ended up here at the same time as him, and now, under protest, half-worried about completing the mission parameters.⠀⠀⠀He can’t focus fully on either, it is not in him more to give everything that he is to Starfleet;⠀⠀⠀age and recent events have disturbed the trust which once reigned supreme.

He is still a Starfleet Captain. Service, sacrifice, compassion and love are still the principles he carries to every mission, but the sacrifice part is becoming stronger to reconcile after learning about the dark underbelly of Starfleet. Who he is, Discovery, Una, how much more will they demand of him before he has nothing left to give?

❛⠀⠀⠀Were you? ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ There is genuine surprise in his tone, red staining the top of his cheeks a second after. ⠀ ⠀ She was teasing him. ⠀ ⠀ Of course she was teasing him, it was how they communicated with each other, words laced with humor and a thousand meanings that only the other one could decipher and select the right one, and he had stumbled at the easiest one ⠀ ⠀ ( ⠀ ⠀ of course, that was the one he knew, what else had he been blind to during this interlude? ⠀ ⠀ ) ⠀ ⠀ ❛⠀⠀⠀You aren’t wearing the drab prisoner’s outfit I had been imagining you in. ⠀ ⠀ A potato sack would already have been an improvement. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ It was now his best retort by far, but it is an effort to fall into something he can manage alongside the mission.

It has the same tentative as her touch. ⠀ ⠀ They are both stumbling towards the middle, uncertain and reaching for something familiar.

❛⠀⠀⠀We met yesterday at a café near the plaza. ⠀ ⠀ He wants kids now, she thinks they should wait until he has a better position, they both this month has been unseasonably rainy. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ Their inclusion to the file was almost an after-thought, well-connected but powerless, not exactly the sort of connection a captain would usually make during a mission. ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ❛⠀⠀⠀I think you’ll like them. ⠀ ⠀ ❜ ⠀ ⠀ Christopher lied with a wide-grin, the words whispered so it only reaches her ears, and when his friends walk up to them, he is all friendliness, asking how their dinner went last night and how they were enjoying the party before waving a hand at his side to introduce Una, only to realize he is unprepared.

❛⠀⠀⠀This is my ⠀ ⠀ —. ⠀ ⠀ ❜

This is my Number One, my right hand. ⠀ ⠀ That’s how he usually introduced her, sometimes slipping in her full-name in more formal functions, when he felt there was a need. ⠀ ⠀ Who was she here? ⠀ ⠀ She was not a Starfleet officer; ⠀ ⠀ she wasn’t his first officer anymore, and the duties she once carried out had been redistributed to various crew-members. ⠀ ⠀ Una. ⠀ ⠀ For the first time since he looked at her file, she was Una.

A trace of helplessness slips into his features, the once wide grin decreasing into something unsure and tentative. ⠀ ⠀ When he looks at her, he isn’t asking for help to get out of this hole, he is once again searching for answers that only she can answer.



#cptnpike #cptnpike:008 #⤷ file / interactions. #⤷ verse / section 31 | the bright day is done‚ and we are for the dark. #if you want me to continue this to write his friends at all before you take it back just let me know and I can come add things <3