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(for the purposes of this poll, there is no monkey's paw situation: the chore you pick stays the same level of difficulty/grossness/etc. as it normally is for you, and you only have to do it as often as you want to. the chores you don't pick are magically done for you exactly the way you'd want them to be, just with zero effort on your part.)

#Cleaning the windows and mirrors #Cuz I only do that like every 5 years

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you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

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glasses

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You know what? Fuck it.

The amount of notes that this post gets by the end of April is the amount of words I'll write for one of my books.

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me @ my mutuals

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Sam broke up with Alice.

He broke up with Alice because she didn't know how to take some things seriously. She didn't know when to turn off the jokes. She made one too many jokes about something that wasn't funny and Sam got sick of it.

Do you ever wonder if Alice sat alone in her flat, wishing she was a different person so that she could be what Sam wanted?

And now he needs a job and she wants him back in her life. As a coworker, as a friend, anything. She'll take anything. She misses him.

She's learned her lesson this time. And now every time Sam tells Alice to "turn it off" she does so without any hesitation. She shuts right the hell up. She doesn't do that with any other person in the office. But for Sam, she'll try and be what he wants her to be.

And he goes and gets a crush on his coworker. Not Alice, though. Never Alice. No, he gets a crush on the beautiful, emotionally available girl that he has no past with and all the promises of a future. And she has to watch him bounce around her in a twitter pated mess, trying and failing to flirt and she remember what it was like when he was flirting with her. She remember that sweet, earnest care he gave her and how he too once offered her his good teas.

Maybe it wasn't enough just to be coworkers, to be friends. But it's too late now.

And now he comes back from his date, drunk and happy and looking like he's just a few more dates from getting lucky. She probably doesn't make awkward jokes because she doesn't know how to be real and authentic. Celia's probably perfect for Sam, the way Alice never was.

And now all Alice has left are the jokes, so she makes them and she hopes they hide everything.

They don't. Of course they don't.

"Be professional."

And now she's standing there. The ex girlfriend who's not over her old flame and everyone in the office knows it. She's standing there alone and Sam has robbed her of all the jokes.

Who is she without them?

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Lange Sitzung

#Lietpol my old love how are you? #Lmao #Fantastic #Amazing art

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No one:

Tumblr when my WiFi is connected and working perfectly:

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Jay in the recap: so it’s sorta ambiguous if he actually kills the infant or not

MONSTER: if i gotta drop another infant from a wall

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the first part of however many abt my silly hualian pokemon au but its just "here are their general designs and also here are their pokemon teams"

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god people have always been people. victorian noblewomen stubbed their toes and swore about it. medieval peasants ripped hangnails a little too hard and sucked on it to make it better. cavemen put kids on their shoulders so the kids could get their handprints up on the wall. someone in the 1760s played with their dog and someone in the 1340s dragged themself out of bed at some unholy hour of the morning to soothe a crying baby and someone in the 1550s stuck a flower behind their lovers ear. I'm gonna be sick people have always been people

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✨ Please reblog the polls to make them reach out to as many people as possible, but KEEP IT SPOILER-FREE to make people listen to the music with an open mind 💖 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll's conclusion, check the original post for an update! ✨

#The answer is that you love it #I don't care how you actually feel is a historical masterpiece

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people need to realise that a poor little meow meow must be a character who has committed atrocities you cannot poor little meow meow a good guy that’s not how this works

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tracking my improvement by drawing kaz across the span of 3 years has been pretty fun and cool i would say

#Amazing art #Love this #Kazzzzzzzzzz #Sweet baby crow