of-canes-and-manes

[of-canes-and-manes]

despite cold weather

little flower sprouts early

freezing in wet snow

March 10, 2024; haiku by me

#poetry #haiku #daily haiku

[of-canes-and-manes]

late winter snowfall

holds me to the windowsill

frosting the garden

February 23, 2024; haiku + photograph by me

#poetry #haiku #daily haiku #phone photography

[of-canes-and-manes]

Laundry day comes early

Mid February, 2024; photography by me

#photography #farmcore #laundry #cat

[of-canes-and-manes]

heat scalding wrinkles

smoothing over yesterday

to prepare right now

February 18, 2024; haiku + photograph by me

#poetry #haiku #daily haiku #laundry #phone photography

[of-canes-and-manes]

Dreaming of warm, early autumn days 🍂🍁

Mid October, 2023; photography by me

I finally had a chance to start going through the photos I've taken since catching covid in October, and even though it's now mid February, I still wanted to post these. This was right around when I first started really getting the hang of the shutter mode on my camera. Seeing these compared to some of my first photos, and especially compared to my more recent ones, I'm definitely improving!

#photography #farmcore #dog

[of-canes-and-manes]

the end of the bed

holds a little void with eyes

brighter than the stars

Feb 15, 2024; haiku + photograph by me

#poetry #haiku #daily haiku #cat #phone photography

[of-canes-and-manes]

Slate-coloured Dark-eyed Junco

Late January 2024; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore #bird #bird photography

[of-canes-and-manes]

Mid December, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore

[of-canes-and-manes]

The remnants of fall

Mid December, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore

[of-canes-and-manes]

Sunrise over the woods

Mid November, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore #sunrise

[of-canes-and-manes]

005: Coming Back From Covid

It took nearly three years of the pandemic and two near misses, but I finally caught covid in mid October. I still haven’t figured out how exactly it happened, as I only leave the house for doctor appointments and rehearsals with a local community band. But happened it did, and I’ve been out for the last month while trying to recover.

To be completely honest, I didn’t even notice I had covid at first. I had helped my mom move hay bales from the trailer into the hay loft on a Saturday morning, and paid no mind to the soreness in my body for the two days after that, nor to the difficulty I was having getting around. After all, that had been the first time I had helped with hay in some five odd years, as well as the most physical activity I had attempted since becoming physically disabled. It was entirely within the realm of normal symptoms for me to be physically exhausted, and I even considered helping with hay a success because I wasn’t anywhere near the amount of fatigue I used to experience from significantly less intense activities.

But the following Tuesday, I woke up at three in the morning drenched in sweat. I had spent the whole night tossing and turning, which isn’t unusual on its own, but never before had I woken up to soaked pajamas and bedsheets. As I stripped my bed and changed my sheets, it finally occurred to me that my symptoms were not just my usual post-exertional malaise from helping with hay; as it turns out, night sweats are a symptom of covid, and I tested positive that evening.

And so, that was the first day of what became three weeks of quarantining.

Truthfully, I enjoyed my quarantine, especially that first week before I began feeling symptoms above and beyond my usual chronic fatigue. Despite my best efforts, I had been rapidly approaching burnout territory via trying to do too much, even after I had already pared down my life to better suit my disabilities in August. I was just still stuffing too many activities into every day, vying for a sense of satisfaction I hadn’t felt in weeks, and rather than feeling fulfilled, all I got was misery.

So when I ended up hyperfixating on a new fandom right at the beginning of my quarantine, I finally allowed myself to stop and rest. I spent every waking moment of those first nine days reading fanfiction, and I made it through a million words by the time I started feeling sick. Even once I began feeling symptoms, I continued reading, and I ended up having not only the time of my life, but the break I so desperately needed.

The feeling sick came about a week after I tested positive, and once it did, it really hit me. I woke up sore all over, well above and beyond my usual morning aches and pains, and though I had been congested for a week by that point, finally my nose began to run. As I started going through a box of tissues every other day, my breathing got worse, until I felt like I had been swimming underwater. I stopped being able to brush the horses, and then I wasn’t able to keep up with basic self care, never mind all the housework I try to do.

A week and a half after I first tested positive, I had to go to the ER. It was a Thursday, I was still testing positive, and I felt worse and worse with each passing day. I had tried to get a hold of my primary care doctor, but never heard back. Luckily, the ER sent me home a few hours later with a steroid to help my lungs, but I still received instructions to return if I continued to worsen.

The steroid worked. After a week of that, I finally started feeling better, though the congestion stayed the same despite my best efforts. I was able to schedule a telehealth appointment with my primary care doctor a week after my ER visit, and was sent an antibiotic in the event that I had managed to contract a sinus infection. With the antibiotic in my system, the congestion began to improve, then returned to normal. I was finally, blessedly feeling almost entirely normal again.

It’s now been over a month since I first tested positive; I’m once again negative and no longer actively sick. My breathing is normal and all things considered, I’m back to my pre-covid health. But I’m feeling a fatigue that isn’t anything like the usual chronic fatigue I’ve experienced since 2016, and this fatigue has slowed me down something fierce. I still haven’t been able to get back to brushing the horses regularly, I haven’t ridden in weeks, and I have yet to figure out how I’ll prepare my garden for winter.

I’m hoping that with enough time and rest, I’ll regain the stamina I had pre-covid. In the meantime, I’ve been exploring hobbies and interests that I hadn’t before had the opportunity to, and discovering more of myself along the way. I thought that if my capacity for activity was reduced any more than it had been before covid, I’d lose everything I ever held dear. It is with great pleasure that I can say that that didn’t happen, and I’ve even found that I have no desire to return to the hectic life I had prior to catching covid.

That said, I’m very much so looking forward to the day I can get back on Tim and resume riding! It will come, hopefully sooner rather than later, but whenever it does, I will be ready for it.

May your day be filled with peace and joy

#of-canes-and-manes #actually disabled #text post

[of-canes-and-manes]

The coming of autumn

Early October, 2023; photograph by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore #wind chimes

[of-canes-and-manes]

Early October, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore #flowers

[of-canes-and-manes]

Early October, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore #chickens

[of-canes-and-manes]

Early October, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore

[of-canes-and-manes]

Early October, 2023; photography by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore

[of-canes-and-manes]

Hello there human!

Late September, 2023; photograph by me

#of-canes-and-manes #photography #farmcore #goats