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Why does basil smell so fucking amazing

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having to pay for parking at a hospital will always be fucking deranged to me. Sorry

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Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

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this is what i mean when i type 👀 btw

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dragon ball z was so good i wouldnt even consider it an anime. it was more like a documentary it was so good

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"so how did you two meet"

she messaged me on tumblr and we became obsessed with each other literally immediately and now we are bound by the red string of fate

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I NEED TO READ I NEED TO WRITE I NEED TO CREATE I NEED TO DRAW I NEED TO CLEAN I NEED TO WORK OUT I NEED TO LEARN *watches YouTube for 6 hours*

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the housing market is ruining my sex life

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"don't go grocery shopping when hungry" doesn't work for me because Not Hungry Me cannot conceive of a universe in which food is needed so she buys like a cup of pomegranate seeds and some fancy cheese and thinks that'll get us through the week.

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Everyone wanted to be thicc but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wanted the dad bod but nobody wanted to be fat. Everyone wants fat mommy milkers but nobody wants mommy to be fat. Everyone wants to be a bear but not like, an actual fat bear. You get what i’m saying

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you could argue literally any large company connects to imperialism down the supply chain but I feel like "perhaps don't work at the blatant War Crime Factory" is a reasonable request people are being obtuse about because they want the six figure salary at lockheed martin. lol

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if you search gay bars on google it'll show you stuff just bc someone said the word gay in a review apparently

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original thread by @pukicho and several other users

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faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid