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Some of y’all are not appreciating Bilbo Baggins enough. I am here to remedy that. This guy has:

• somehow managed to establish himself as a respectable, staid hobbit by the time he was fifty, despite being both a grandson of Bullroarer Took and the Shire champion of pretty much every aiming-game known to hobbitkind

• had an in-depth debate on pleasantries with a random guy passing by in the street, who turned out to be GANDALF

• collapsed in front of his own fire shaking and muttering “struck by lightning” over and over again in response to hearing about dragons and danger

• mind you, this was after he screamed loud enough to startle a roomful of Dwarves

• signed up for a dangerous quest completely outside of his league out of spite

• when told to scout out a mysterious light, saw some trolls, and instead of reporting back with the information, decided to PICK THE TROLLS POCKET

• arrived in Rivendell for the first time and said it “smelled like elves”

• upon meeting a strange creature that visibly wanted to eat him, he decided to play a riddle game with him- and guessed pretty much every one, and made up his own riddles, afraid and alone, that not only were good and full of linguistic puns, but actually stumped the other guy- AND THEN CHEATED AND WON WITH A QUESTION

• showed mercy to said strange creature who wanted to kill him, and was now standing between him and freedom

• eavesdropped on the dwarves arguing over whether to try to save him, then popped up casually smack in the middle of them just as they were debating

• somehow managed to sleep like a log at the really really high eyrie full of wild predators

• found himself in a bad situation, said eff it, and turned around and antagonized and fought off an insane amount of man eating spiders, like enough of them that fifty was a small portion, by singing at them with incredibly complex and punny insulting songs composed on the spot, while simultaneously slaying them in multitudes despite having zero combat training. Seriously, we don’t discuss enough how epic the spider scene is.

• broke a company of dwarves out of the very secure prison of the Elvenking by inventing white water rafting with barrels

• charmed his way out of being eaten by a dragon

• stole the frickin Arkenstone from the guys who employed him, one of whom was a king

• took part in an epic battle, only to be knocked out in the first ten minutes and miss the entire thing

• was named elf-friend by the guy who’s prisoners he sprung

• wrote his own autobiography, complete with all the narrative recognition of his own heroics

• spent 60 years writing said autobiography

• taught his lower class neighbor’s kid how to read

• taught his nephew Elvish- not only Sindarin, but Quenya too

• spent decades telling his cousins his own story as fairy tales, complete with character impressions accurate enough that one of them was able to fool a servant of the Enemy with a second hand impression

• used the One Ring of Power to hide from his neighbors

• planned an elaborate feast with multiple social faux pas to mess with his neighbors, complete with a purposefully bewildering speech and culminating in him vanishing into thin air in front of everyone

• left his cousins and neighbors very unsubtle passive aggressive gifts in his will

• settled into Rivendell, randomly befriended the heir to the throne of like half of Middle Earth, and apparently spent his time writing very personal poems about his hosts and reciting them to crowds of elves

• after being invited to a Council of basically every major kingdom in the continent, spent a quarter of the time reciting vague poems about his friends, a quarter of the time telling anyone who would listen about his heroic past, and half the time interrupting to ask when lunch would be

• volunteered to bring the ring to Mordor

• became one of only four or five mortals in history to live in Valinor

Seriously, Bilbo Baggins may well be the most chaotic, insane person in the entire legendarium, and that includes the likes of people like Finrod “bit a werewolf to death to save the life of guy who he just met and gave up his kingdom for” Felagund.

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no wonder why Hannibal loves him

Will Graham and David of Michelangelo

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Hannibal "Kiss alts" "There were several takes and there was never any actual lip locking. But there was a lingering [in one take] where Mads's lips parted, hovering over Will's mouth in a way that went on... For a while." —Bryan Fuller

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Hannibal season 3 behind the scenes

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someone told me bryan fuller decided to cast hugh as will after seeing him in venus in fur, and if that's actually true...it explains A LOT like a lot a lot

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1x01 || 3x13

#the way the show started with hannibal and will saving a life together and ended with them taking a life together

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The character Hannibal Lecter is based on a real person, who was GAY!

He is 100% fucking gay and I'm gonna be forever upset we did not get our Hannigram kiss

#hannigram #hannibal lecter #will graham #nbc hannibal #chesapeake ripper #shitpost #im so annoyed #like why #what the fuuuuuuuuck #i'm sharing this because i refuse to be the only one to suffer

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It's always

"When will fanfic writers update their stories?"

And never

"Does this fanfic writer have adequate enrichment to engage in writing behaviours?"

Fanfiction writers (Scriptor fictus) are intelligent animals who need plenty of enrichment as well as encouragement! If they're stuck in poor conditions (e.g. have studies, work, have to actually write to have something written) then they require the proper enrichment to engage in more healthy behaviours, like writing. Remember, due to poor breeding and socialisation, over half of all fanfic writers suffer from low self confidence and executive dysfunction so take care of them!

Give your fanfic writers proper care. Fanfiction writers are a life long commitment.

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the four horsemen of Queer Agony

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Will Graham had so much rizz that two serial killers killed for him during his trial just to set him free. One of them put him in there but missed him so much that he decided to kill the judge, and the other who barely knew him killed the bailiff to exonerate him. Even after finding out Will isn't the ripper he was still willing to kill for him.

AND this is how they both looked at him:

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no tv show will ever be able to resolve a m/m/f love triangle as perfectly and as weirdly as Hannibal, in which the woman kisses one of the guys, sleeps with the other one, then decides "actually, never mind, you're both awful!" and marries a rich lesbian instead - and, while this is all going on, the guys develop a weird homoerotic obsession with each other culminating in them going off a cliff together. truly unhinged and unmatched

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jack crawford is a better man than i am. if one of my employees said to my face admitting that he contacted a fickle and dangerous serial killer minutes before their arrest, escalating the situation and thereby causing the death of a civilian and near-death grievous injuries to me and another colleague, i would not have sighed dejectedly and just tried to ask for his help for a new case. i would have put his ass in jail for good this time. for not exploring his latent bisexual revelations on someone safer.

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