nonepizzawithleftglitter

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I cannot wait for the weather to get warmer so we can finally put the peanuts outside.

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#fascinating

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one of the best tips for Real Life that I’ve ever picked up is to always highball your estimate whenever someone asks you “when can you get this done by” by about 25% (if you can get away with it). that way, if it ends up being harder than you thought, you’ve got extra time to figure things out and if you were right about how much time it takes then you get to look like an absolute genius instead of just a simply competent person.

what you may not have realized is that I learned this crucial piece of life advice from an episode of Star Trek where Scotty is telling Geordi that whenever he told Kirk something on the Enterprise was at full capacity, it was always only ever a notch or so below full capacity so that Scotty looked like the god of all engineers when he was able to magically hack the warp drive to run a little beyond what he’d told everyone else was “full capacity” and honestly that one throwaway gag from Star Trek has changed my life.

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Consider: Batman’s identity gets leaked to the press, enough that it’s a popular rumor but not enough for it to be confirmed, and the JL all pitch in to just. Gaslight the shit out of the media.

Superman: Uh, Bruce Wayne? Hasn’t Batman saved that guy a couple of times?

Wonder Woman: I’m unsure if we’re speaking of the same Bruce Wayne. The one who invited me to a gala three weeks ago and got so drunk he tripped into a chocolate fountain? This is the Bruce Wayne you believe to be the Bat?

Green Lantern: Doesn’t Bruce Wayne have like a million kids? And run a business? I don’t know about the rest of the League, but superhero-ing’s a full-time job for me.

Flash: (play dumb) Who’s Batman? (not that dumb-!)

Green Arrow: Why would I want to be on a team with a billionaire?

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if you want to actually start to end homelessness, you need to give homeless people unconditional homes, including when we use them to do drugs or sit around drinking. either housing is unconditional or it isn’t

someone sitting at home alone, an active alcoholic, squandering your charity, drinking all day is better situation than a street homeless alcoholic. someone using drugs in your charity house is better than them doing the same w no shelter

most of you would not like most street homeless people, I definitely don’t and didn’t when I was street homeless. for every one person who uses unconditional shelter to turn themselves around, someone else will do jack shit and very slowly, if ever, work through the issues that made them homeless, will maybe never be able to live independently. still better than street homelessness, still worth doing. ultimately either you believe that shelter should be universal or you don’t

homeless people actually can’t be rehabilitated if you want to end homelessness. we either affirm the right to shelter for the worst drunken, lying, filthy, cheating, self destructive homeless people that exist, genuinely irredeemable wankers, or we concede that shelter is not a right

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the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

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Wenn ein Programmierer das Vorderende eines Bootes repariert: Bugfix

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Though the proverbial "showdown at high noon" is largely a media invention, many famous gunslingers of the American Old West did engage in formal duels at least occasionally. The main differences from the popular media version are twofold:

Formal duels were rare; most famous gunslingers duelled only once or twice in their entire careers, and a gunslinger with three or more duels under their belt would have been considered extraordinarily prolific (and also extraordinarily stupid – see below);

Those gunslingers who did duel typically made a point of accepting challenges only from opponents of demonstrably inferior skill; there was something of an unspoken agreement among prolific duellists to avoid duelling each other by any means necessary, as they knew the surest way to cut short one's career was to duel someone who actually knew what they were doing!

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because some day I want to write a semi-competitive tabletop RPG where the player characters are all rival gunslingers living the high life on manufactured drama and exaggerated tales of their legendary prowess while going to elaborate lengths to avoid having to actually fight each other.

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Went to a better place. Left this world. Swimming with the fishes. No longer with us. She has passed on. He is taking the long nap. They have bitten the dust. She is looking at the radishes from below.

The last one is German but you get my point.

i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least

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fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

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Not gonna lie, my morale is at the lowest point it's been since the beginning of the invasion. Russians are successfully occupying more and more territories and shell frontline regions every day. People are dying, our culture and herritage is destroyed. International aid dwindled significantly because of american bullshit. Mobilization law has been signed and there is a chance that my family members get conscripted soon. Don't even get me started on internal political problems. A bunch of articles in foreign media talking about our defeat and "peace talks" (what a joke).

It feels like there were no at least moderately good news in a while. On top of that, the feeling that we are screaming into the void is stronger than ever. I'm happy when I see a foreigner online supporting us and spreading the word, because it gets rarer. Ukrainians feel like none of what's happening gets outside our info bubble. Most likely no one but Ukrainians will see this post either. Honestly don't know what to make of all of this.

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<Reblog to get a sword.> o()xxx[{::::::::::::::::::::::::::::>

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if the world had protected itself half as much against the spreading of Corona as tumblr apparently protects itself against the spreading of posts via reblogs then summer 2020 would just be a vage memory of some beach vacation

#no id

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The homo americanus is so used to being dominant in its territory that when it spots a homo australis, it attacks it in confusion.

I find it fascinating and baffling how mamy people out there seem to follow you and read enough of your posts to know things that are happening in your life and STILL assume you're American. It comes up that you are not like every day???

On Tumblr there will always be someone to assume that you are American

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Random worldbuilding: A culture where everyone's social status is expressed through how their hair is braided.

Children all have the same kind of a simple, unisex "child's braid" which is meant for their parents to be easy to do - traditionally boys were only taught how to do a "wife's braid" while women braid both their husbands and their children, but a modern man is naturally an attentive father and contributes to both cleaning and feeding, and clothing and braiding his children.

While this kind of knowledge is more accessible in the modern age, the art of braiding is still seen as an intimate family thing, and it's not unusual for a youth to come out to their parents by the way of braids - for example a daughter asking her father to teach her how to do the "wife's braid", or a son asking her mother how to weave the "husband braid" for their future spouse. Or a trans kid asking their parents to give them the other gender's braid when it's time to transition from the child braid into the "unmarried youth" one.

It is nonetheless still somewhat common to see an older gay man with a "wife's braid" or two older women both wearing "husband braids", because that was the only way they were taught to braid a future partner's hair when they were young. They could learn the "appropriate" braid now, but it has become a part of the culture, an old-fashioned gay thing to do. It's pride - if you wear this braid to show that you're an adult with a spouse, why try to hide who braids your hair every morning?

The only braid that one is expected to do on themselves is the widow's braid - the only one that is also unisex, braided in reverse from the simple children's braid. Sometimes, young unmarried adults who have no interest in starting a family switch directly into wearing a widow's braid to signify that they are not looking for a partner and are independent adults on their own.

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I'm curious. Reblog this if you know how to cook

I don’t even care if it’s macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDN’T STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldn’t fix them food or they couldn’t go out to eat. 

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Star Trek: Deep Space Nine "Past Tense, Pt. 1"

#no id