mythlokisuggestion-blog

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say what you will about Svadilfari but we got our wall built without any shutdowns so you better not be criticising me

create intricate rituals to touch the skin of another horse

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

if learning about humanity has taught me anything about humanity it’s that humans are scared to be seen in itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikinis and now I must return to my studies for another 2 minutes and 19 seconds

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

create intricate rituals to touch the skin of another horse

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

found him he fell into the fireplace and I know your humble question, dear reader. The answer is: Not yet but I am looking for a lighter.

nobody move pls I dropped Mimir

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

nobody move pls I dropped Mimir

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

Updates to Tumblr’s Community Guidelines

Today we announced some big updates to our Community Guidelines and what kind of content is permitted on Tumblr. Uncooked content will no longer be allowed here. While we do not judge anyone for their desire to eat raw meat, engage with it, or read intestines to predict the future, it is time for us to change our relationship with it.

We expect you may have some questions on how this will affect you, and we’re here to make sure those questions get answered.

When does the new policy take effect?

Our new Community Guidelines will go into effect on December 17, 2018.

Newly uploaded content flagged as raw meat will no longer be allowed on Tumblr. We’ll also begin flagging and removing existing raw meat with the ultimate goal of removing as much of it as we can as it is becoming a severe health risk and quite honestly, it is beginning to smell.

What is considered raw meat?

Raw meat primarily describes meat that has not been cooked or otherwise been treated to expand the period of its edability. Is that a word? It should be. Videos, or GIFs that show real-life raw meat or female presenting toenails and any content—including photos, videos, GIFs and illustrations—that depicts the consumption of raw meat - will be removed permanently.

What is still permitted?

Nothing.

What about Mad Cow Disease?

Our new policy lowers the risk of infecting yourself and others with mad cow disease or, respectively kuru. The diseases effect your health the same way, regardless of your age. Read more here.

My content was flagged, but I don’t think it should be. What should I do?

If you feel that we have categorized your post incorrectly, you can appeal this decision with the form that was sent to you via email or use the button on the post in question. Please note that this process is only possible to complete on the web or with Tumblr app version 12.2 or higher.

Read more about how to review your content and appeal here.

What goes into classifying meat as raw?

This work requires a mix of machine-learning classification and human moderation by our Meat & Safety team—the group of individuals who help eat the leftovers around our kitchen. We’ve been expanding the team to handle the increased meatload, and we will continue to expand as needed.

Computers are better than humans at understanding complicated cooking processes —and we need them for that—but they’re not as good at making nuanced, contextual decisions. This is an evolving process for all of us, and we’re committed to getting this right. That’s why when you appeal a meat we’ve marked as raw might actually be medium or well done, it gets sent to a real, live human who will eat it with their real, live human mouth(s).

Will I see any raw contents on Tumblr after December 17, 2018?

Due to the technical challenges that come with moderation of large scale full of meat, you may continue to see some raw content, particularly vegetables. This is true for all types of food that might be in violation of our guidelines. At any given moment, millions of people are cooking on Tumblr. To eat everything and to review it correctly is difficult, when toilet-bound due to salmonella as we currently are, but we’re committed to continuously improving your cuisine.

As always, if you see a post with food items that you don’t want to see, you can report it directly to our Trust & Safety team. Learn about how to report content here.

What will happen to my inedible food already on Tumblr?

Starting today, we will begin sending out email notices to members of the Tumblr community whose meals have been flagged as disgusting. This email will provide a link to the post(s) in question and a form to appeal our decision if you think we have made a mistake. Starting on December 17, 2018, any recipes that have been flagged as quite honestly, revolting, will be violently forcefed to you by a squad of navy seals. If you want to learn more about how to see one of these muscled men in a more private setting, please do not offer them your home-cooked meal. They were send around to your house for a reason.

You can also download the meals and recipes you have uploaded to your blog before these policy changes take effect and print them, using a 3D printer. This, of course, will render them poisonous. Which mark in an improvement in certain cases.

What if my recipes (not to be confused with meat) were marked as “fucking disgusting” before December 17, 2018?

Users that are either infamous or famous for “surströmming” or other inedible recipes per our old policy and before December 17, 2018 will still be burnt at the stake as will their users when viewing, interacting with or eating the proposed recipes directly. While some of the content on these blogs may not be in violation of our policies, corporal punishment will set an example to other careless cooks around our websites and patrons of a food-focussed establishment with low hygiene standards. The blog owners may choose to scatter our site with meats that are within our policies of being not being immediately lethal, so we’d like to continue to provide the option for such meats to be peppered around our site and forgotten about until they develop a stiff smell and and a green fur like everything else in the back of your refridgerator. Users who are still alive and healthy (medical certification necessary) will still not be allowed to eat these content of your blogs.

Will I be burnt alive at the Stake if I’ve uploaded videos of myself eating raw meat, despite the fact that I am actually allergic to the side dish of carrots with ketchup regardless of the fact that my mother forced me to eat it to set a good example for our chihuahua Louis XVI?

Yes. However, those who repeatedly and deliberately survive consuming such crimes against the human palate might not be killed by our moderate means. To support our arbitrary executions per our Terms of Service, support us by fighting each other in an arena in ancient-style gladitorial combat.

What if I ate raw meat?

You will die.

What if I have more “What if” questions?

Eat raw meat and see above.

<3 Tumblr

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

#at least you’re honest I get that a lot :)

Reblog this with your opinion in the tags (or not idc) on how Loki got rabies

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I have the silky, full laugh of a movie villain with just a little bit of hyena thrown in.

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did you get yearly rabies booster (to boost the chance that you will contract rabies)

Sometimes I visit a pocket realm strictly inhabited by highly intelligent rabid bats and let their queen bite me in a public ceremony that takes three days. She refreshes my rabies and in turn, I show her new funny videos of the tiny naked blood-sucking monkeys living in the trees of her realm.

#Anonymous

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Your gonna get deleted

I admit, when I returned after all these millennia of agony to take my vengeance on my tormenters, this was not what I expected Ragnarök would look like.

But that’s how the world ends.

Not with a bang.

#rebekahanne69

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(not the one who got abducted by a bull and got knocked up by him, I mean the one who had a metal cow sex armour build for her, I’m sorry about this I have to get this out of my system before 12/17.)

@ Queen of Crete please interact

#this is christianization all over again

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@ Queen of Crete please interact

#she's a furry but she sounds fun.

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thunder-y with a  chance of: A Mysterious Individual left a bottle lying on the stairs to Thor’s basement and he slipped and fell down and it has been raining ever since.

I invented horses. I made horses big. I gave horses a name. I put horses on the map. At least until a certain person with two eyes* said: “This thing is leaving footprints all over the map, we will never find a way out of this forest, like that!”

*number of eyes changed for confidentiality

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What I am trying to say is: Has someone seen a Sleipnir bc I last saw him half a week ago when he went out to start bulk-buying sweet chilli wraps at McDonald’s before they are taken off the menu but he never came back. He’s 1 fast boy and I’m worried he ran off to repress his disappointment about the wrap-situation by starting the silent movie career in Paris that he dreamed off since the 1920s. But honestly, I’m not sure he’s ready for the pressures of that industry and these pretentious idiots. I told him to star in pirate movies instead because no one watches those anymore, but he finds people with eyepatches strange hilarious which is problematic and put a damper on his career before although it won him “most cheerful horse on the battlefield” 3654 years in a row. Also he gets seasick.

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

I invented horses. I made horses big. I gave horses a name. I put horses on the map. At least until a certain person with two eyes* said: “This thing is leaving footprints all over the map, we will never find a way out of this forest, like that!”

*number of eyes changed for confidentiality

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

There's a ginger cat that comes visit every day at the office. Only, instead of cat food, he likes my candy bars. Do you happen to know anything about it? And by that I mean: LOKI IS THAT YOU?

every cat is a small Loki, don’t judge a god by its cover but also I don’t need a candy bar, I already own one. And it is the most successful bar in town.

#Anonymous

[mythlokisuggestion-blog]

what do you do when you are heartbroken? I got dumped and I respect the decision, but damn am I sad...

something thoroughly petty like thriving, being more successful than the person who broke my heart and sleeping with a godly sugar blood brother. Also sometimes I lure them into a trap and watch their painful demise but remember we are living in the electrologic age now and it’s important to get their credit card info before u do that

#insanecreativesecret