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If You Can’t Be Unafraid, Be Afraid and Happy.
~ short but sweet little fic about Saeran having trouble sleeping, but his friends are there in the chatroom to make him smile again ~ based on some of my favourite posts from this account hehehe ~ 1k 
✧⋆*✴✰✦*⋆✢✧⋆*✴✰✦*⋆✢✧⋆*✴✰✦*⋆✢✧⋆*✴✰✦*⋆✢✧⋆*✴✰✦*
The paralysing fear of waking up from a nightmare wasn’t anything new. Saeran had spent his entire life getting used to the sensation of his heart stopping completely as his mind exploded back into consciousness. The sweat pouring down his ice cold skin was almost a comfort at this point, a sign that it was over, that he was now awake. Safe. In recent months, his therapist had recommended he pretend the sweat was a waterfall, and that he was merely a rock sitting behind the cascade - thoughtless and fearless.
But that wasn’t true. Saeran was full of fear. Even now. His life had changed completely for the better, he awoke each morning to his own smile outshining the sun beaming through his very own window in an apartment he could call his own, where all choices made were his alone. He would pick up his phone to countless messages from his friends, and his brother, asking him how he is, and inviting him to hang out with them. His life was, for the very first time in 21 years, entirely his own, and he was living it in a way that made him happy! But happiness didn’t obliterate fear.
And now, in a life where there was no longer any real danger for him to be afraid of, all of the fear was saved up to be spent in the early hours of the morning. When he should be letting himself fall asleep, all tucked up and warm in his bed that was as soft as a cloud, excited to live again tomorrow, that’s when he was afraid.
Afraid of the horrors that would torment him the second his eyes were closed, and his consciousness was snatched from his desperate grasp. The twists and turns of the demonic presences that made their home in the voids where his dreams should be, the poison thorns that wrapped themselves around every vein in his body until he was choking, choking, choking
drowning
falling 
endlessly into a cavern of nothing 
nothing
nothing
nothing
except for her.
No. No, not tonight. He wouldn’t let his nightmares win tonight.
He couldn’t if he wanted to. The fear had subjected him to tossing and turning for the past two hours. He’d done well to not let it build into a panic attack, and he was proud of himself for that! And he knew his friends would be proud of him, too! And that feeling, that truth, was enough to bring the hint of a smile to the corners of his mouth.
And although that smile wasn’t enough to quell his pounding heart into a soothing lullaby, he had a feeling he knew what would.
Saeran reached for the phone resting under his pillow, and instinctively opened the messenger app.
Saeran: Guys
Saeran: Guys
Saeran: Guys please I know it’s late but this is really important
ZEN: What’s up buddy?
MC: Saeran sweetie :( Are you doing okay? Do you want me to call?
Yoosung★: i’m going to be up playing LOLOL for a few hours if you want to join!! :D
A tear formed in the corner of Saeran’s left eye. Not in a sad way, but in a disbelief and overwhelming joy at the fact his friends are this kind and understanding and patient. Something he never believed he would get to experience, something he never believed he deserved to experience. Their genuine care and concern almost made him feel a little guilty for what he was about to do.
Almost.
Saeran: I’m okay don’t worry!
Saeran: I just
Saeran: I have to tell you something
MC: You can always tell us anything, buttercup! We’re always here to listen :]
ZEN: yeah! go ahead! ZEN THE KNIGHT is here to banish any troubles
Saeran: So
Saeran: I learnt something.. 
Saeran: if you pour water into a hole of dirt and put grass in it and mix it around it makes something.
Saeran: it’s called pottion.
The chat was silent for a few moments, and the bubbles of laughter were erupting from his throat and popping in the air around him, each one sparking the same joy as a gentle kiss on his forehead. He knew objectively the interaction wasn’t particularly funny, but to his exhausted, fearful mind, it was the most magical lifeline.
MC: Saeran.. … .
MC: I’m not disagreeing but
MC: You know potion is spelled with only one t, right
Saeran: if i ever misspell something no i didn’t that’s a secret letter i put there just for you and you found it.
Saeran: my gift.
 - Saeyoung has entered the chatroom. - 
Saeyoung: I just got kicked out of a tarot reading.
Saeyoung: oh hi ho brother of mine 
Saeyoung: potion. .. … … . .. . .are you sure you should be giving away this secret knowledge …. .. . are you sure it’s safe .. .. .. . .what if they .. .. they make their own potions .. ..
ZEN: What kind of potions would we make? MC: ones that include water dirt and grass obviously were you even listening
Yoosung★: You know I’m actually a potion master on LOLOL :D I made a potion that gave 460XP yesterday :DD
Saeran: Nevermind the potions, how the hell did you get kicked out of a tarot reading?
Saeyoung: *le dramatic sigh* Saeyoung: I put a draw 4 down on the 2 of cups
MC: Tell me you’re joking. Tell me you’re joking right now. 
Saeyoung: *le dramatic sigh x2*
MC: I am going to smack you with a broom you fool how could you disrespect the cards like this MC: I’m never giving you a tarot reading ever again the cards are going to hate you now
MC: hang on
MC: WHO THE HELL DID YOU GO TO FOR A TAROT READING??? I AM RIGHT HERE??? DO ME AND MY CARDS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?????
Saeyoung: …….
Saeyoung: .. . . … .. . .. 
Saeyoung: *le dramatic sigh x3*
ZEN: maybe if you’d made a potion like Saeran suggested this wouldn’t have happened
Saeran: hey don’t bring me into this
Saeran: i-*morphs into cryptid and scuttles away into the night* - Saeran has left the chatroom. -
And with his throat full of laughter, his heart full of love, his smile full of giddiness, and his thoughts full of a friendship powerful enough to calm his every worry, Saeran puts down his phone, and comfortably allows sleep to take over.
Saeran once read, “If you can’t be unafraid, be afraid and happy,” in a book. And if fear demands to still be present in his life, then he will demand that happiness is the most prominent feeling inside himself every day for the rest of time.
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consider: saeran can't get to sleep at night b/c nightmares so he cheers himself up by sending weird shit to the rfa to get a reaction out of them and then he falls back asleep thinking about how thankful he is that his life has changed and the friends that he has xoxo then u can like,,, combine ur usual writing style with the stuff u do on the other blog
,,, This is the first thing I've written I think all year? And it's accidentally over 1K? So thank you for sending this in 💖
I haven't proofread it at all as it's midnight and I really need to go to bed but! Here you go! I think this was a really cool concept, and I had a lot of fun writing it :]
If You Cannot Be Unafraid, Be Afraid and Happy
~ 1K words
~ Slight angst in the beginning? Nothing much just mentions of nightmares/fear <3
The paralysing fear of waking up from a nightmare wasn’t anything new. Saeran had spent his entire life getting used to the sensation of his heart stopping completely as his mind exploded back into consciousness. The sweat pouring down his ice cold skin was almost a comfort at this point, a sign that it was over, that he was now awake. Safe. In recent months, his therapist had recommended he pretend the sweat was a waterfall, and that he was merely a rock sitting behind the cascade - thoughtless and fearless.
But that wasn’t true. Saeran was full of fear. Even now. His life had changed completely for the better, he awoke each morning to his own smile outshining the sun beaming through his very own window in an apartment he could call his own, where all choices made were his alone. He would pick up his phone to countless messages from his friends, and his brother, asking him how he is, and inviting him to hang out with them. His life was, for the very first time in 21 years, entirely his own, and he was living it in a way that made him happy! But happiness didn’t obliterate fear.
And now, in a life where there was no longer any real danger for him to be afraid of, all of the fear was saved up to be spent in the early hours of the morning. When he should be letting himself fall asleep, all tucked up and warm in his bed that was as soft as a cloud, excited to live again tomorrow, that’s when he was afraid.
Afraid of the horrors that would torment him the second his eyes were closed, and his consciousness was snatched from his desperate grasp. The twists and turns of the demonic presences that made their home in the voids where his dreams should be, the poison thorns that wrapped themselves around every vein in his body until he was choking, choking, choking
drowning
falling 
endlessly into a cavern of nothing 
nothing
nothing
nothing
except for her.
No. No, not tonight. He wouldn’t let his nightmares win tonight.
He couldn’t if he wanted to. The fear had subjected him to tossing and turning for the past two hours. He’d done well to not let it build into a panic attack, and he was proud of himself for that! And he knew his friends would be proud of him, too! And that feeling, that truth, was enough to bring the hint of a smile to the corners of his mouth.
And although that smile wasn’t enough to quell his pounding heart into a soothing lullaby, he had a feeling he knew what would.
Saeran reached for the phone resting under his pillow, and instinctively opened the messenger app.
Saeran: Guys
Saeran: Guys
Saeran: Guys please I know it’s late but this is really important
ZEN: What’s up buddy?
MC: Saeran sweetie :( Are you doing okay? Do you want me to call?
Yoosung★: i’m going to be up playing LOLOL for a few hours if you want to join!! :D
A tear formed in the corner of Saeran’s left eye. Not in a sad way, but in a disbelief and overwhelming joy at the fact his friends are this kind and understanding and patient. Something he never believed he would get to experience, something he never believed he deserved to experience. Their genuine care and concern almost made him feel a little guilty for what he was about to do.
Almost.
Saeran: I’m okay don’t worry!
Saeran: I just
Saeran: I have to tell you something
MC: You can always tell us anything, buttercup! We’re always here to listen :]
ZEN: yeah! go ahead! ZEN THE KNIGHT is here to banish any troubles
Saeran: So
Saeran: if you pour water into a hole of dirt and put grass in it and mix it around it makes something.
Saeran: it’s called pottion.
The chat was silent for a few moments, and bubbles of laughter were erupting from his throat and popping in the air around him, each one sparking the same joy as a gentle kiss on his forehead. He knew objectively the interaction wasn’t particularly funny, but to his exhausted, fearful mind, it was the most magical lifeline.
MC: Saeran.. … .
MC: I’m not disagreeing but
MC: You know potion is spelled with only one t, right
Saeran: if i ever misspell something no i didn’t that’s a secret letter i put there just for you and you found it.
Saeran: my gift.
~ Saeyoung has entered the chatroom. ~
Saeyoung: I just got kicked out of a tarot reading.
Saeyoung: oh hi ho brother of mine 
Saeyoung: potion. .. … … . .. . .are you sure you should be giving away this secret knowledge …. .. . are you sure it’s safe .. .. .. . .what if they .. .. they make their own potions .. ..
ZEN: What kind of potions would we makeMC: ones that include water dirt and grass obviously were you even listening
Yoosung★: You know I’m actually a potion master on LOLOL :D I made a potion that gave 460XP yesterday :DD
Saeran: Nevermind the potions, how the hell did you get kicked out of a tarot reading?
Saeyoung: *le dramatic sigh*Saeyoung: I put a draw 4 down on the 2 of cups
MC: Tell me you’re joking. Tell me you’re joking right now. 
Saeyoung: *le dramatic sigh x2*
MC: I am going to smack you with a broom you fool how could you disrespect the cards like thisMC: I’m never giving you a tarot reading ever again the cards are going to hate you now
MC: hang on
MC: WHO THE HELL DID YOU GO TO FOR A TAROT READING??? I AM RIGHT HERE??? DO ME AND MY CARDS MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?????
Saeyoung: …….
Saeyoung: .. . . … .. . .. 
Saeyoung: *le dramatic sigh x3*
ZEN: maybe if you’d made a potion like Saeran suggested this wouldn’t have happened
Saeran: hey don’t bring me into this
Saeran: i-*morphs into cryptid and scuttles away into the night* ~ Saeran has left the chatroom. ~
And with his throat full of laughter, his heart full of love, his smile full of giddiness, and his thoughts full of a friendship powerful enough to calm his every worry, Saeran puts down his phone, and comfortably allows sleep to take over.
Saeran once read, “If you can’t be unafraid, be afraid and happy,” in a book. And if fear demands to still be present in his life, then he will demand that happiness is the most prominent feeling inside himself every day for the rest of time.
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Hey hey lovelies! I hope everyone’s doing well!
I wanna get back into writing, and I really want to write some more Mystic Messenger fics  🥺 🥺 If anyone has any fic ideas/requests they’d like to see then send them over! I’m most comfortable with writing Saeran, but I’ll happily write for any of them!
My published Mystic Messenger works can be found here:  🌛  🌸
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