mymindgoes-suicidal

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

I mean, just when you think everything was ok you have to discover a new lie, do I meant something to you? Do yo really love me? Have you ever felt sorry for lying to me, cheating on me, pulling me apart from my family? How can you live with yourself?

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

i’ll never really know how much you lied to me. and i hate it.

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

“I often stood in front of the mirror alone, wondering how ugly a person could get”

-Charles Bukowski

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

In another universe, you stayed.

— In this one, you didn’t and it ruined me.

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

i think the thing that’s most frustrating about chronic fatigue for me is when the fatigue is so bad that you can’t even think or focus.

my pain is so bad i can’t physically do almost anything right now (even just laying in bed is exhausting) and the brain fog from my fatigue is so bad that i can’t even listen to an audiobook or podcast to make the laying down less boring.

time to just fucking stare at my ceiling all day i guess

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

Patient: *has a bunch of different symptoms without a clear cause*

Doctors on medical shows: right I’m ordering every single test or scan available, I want a specialist from every department paged to take a look at this case and I want this group of interns looking into every possible rare disease that this patient might have. We won’t let this patient leave until we’ve gone above and beyond to help them. Let’s go people!

Doctors in real life: lol idk the three basic blood tests I did came back normal so it’s probably just in your head or something.

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

"Do these symptoms interfere with your daily activities?"

Bitch these symptoms ARE my daily activities wym

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

to anyone who thinks those of us with invisible disabilities have “passing privilege”:

being denied access to resources you need is not a privilege.

being refused disability benefits at first glance because you look “healthy” is not a privilege.

getting dirty looks and having insults thrown at you for parking in a disabled space, using a disabled toilet or sitting in disabled seating is not a privilege.

getting accused of faking or exaggerating because “you look fine” is not a privilege.

being made to feel like you shouldn’t sometimes use mobility aids/wheelchairs because you “seem fine without them” is not a privilege.

having doctors not believe you’re sick and even refuse to give you any tests or diagnosis is not a privilege.

being denied treatment and medication because doctors don’t believe you really need it is not a privilege.

constantly being told that “you don't look sick” when you tell someone about your disability is not a privilege. 

being forced to do things that you really struggle to do because “you seem fine” and “you CAN technically do them” is not a privilege.

constantly worrying about how you look and if you should wear certain clothes, make up or do your hair because you’re afraid it might give people another reason to deny your conditions is not a privilege.

being afraid to even tell people about your conditions because you’re worried about how they’ll react and if they’ll believe you is not a privilege.

having your own loved ones question you is not a privilege.

questioning yourself and wondering if it is all in your head is not a privilege.

looking healthy does not mean you get the privilege that comes with a healthy body and mind. having an invisible disability is NOT a privilege and never will be.

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

ⓘ This user is tired.

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

When will people realise that Chronically ill people cannot predict how they will feel in the next few minutes, hours, days or months. I could wake up feeling fine and then feel like I’ve been hit by a truck within the hour. There are no warning signs.

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

me, forgetting that fatigue is a symptom of all my illnesses: why do i never do anything im so lazy :^/

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

[mymindgoes-suicidal]

can someone tell me how to make a decision that feels like the hardest decision of my life?

#how do i know what is right and what is wrong? #decisionmaking #decisions decisions #decision #how #bpd #love