muppetjohntavares

[muppetjohntavares]

Sandra Abstreiter half sleeve this is not a drill

#sandra abstreiter on my dash!!!! #i am weak!!!! i am crumbling!!!!!!!! #ouagh..... i think i hauve couvid....... #pwhl ottawa

[muppetjohntavares]

hockey rocks because they basically have to wear 25-50 lbs of color coded heraldic device bdsm gear, and then they get forced to race like feral dogs for 60 minutes. and sometimes they get to make out with their best friend in front of crowds of 10,000+ people, but only if they're good

[muppetjohntavares]

The sexual tension between the opportunity to see 4K HD Ultra All or Nothing Johnny Toronto on my parents' big ol' TV and me, who cannot emotionally handle the Johnny Toronto arc in that show and will watch it next month in good company? Oh yeah it's tangible

#winty media availability #i might peek in later..... as a treat..... #for now im torturing myself and watching past lives

[muppetjohntavares]

ITR Season 1 - my favourite Kris moments

#i think i may just need to binge watch ITR at some point #pens #58 tanger #i miss you babygirl

[muppetjohntavares]

kyle you have the opportunity to do something so funny (recreate the kessel trade, thumb your nose at the org you left, make the gta implode in on itself under the weight of its own circular curses, make nathan mackinnon wake up three hours before the news officially breaks in a cold sweat and stomach already curdling with pre-envy, give our two headed monster a new guy to fight over, reunite bunts with his buddy, fuel new homoerotic tragedy for the hockey gods to feast on for years, etc) and then you call verbeek and get zegras for a steal (we have discussed the benefits here. #diva4diva.) and then you re-sign jakey (who says no. if someone does we kick them into the sun) and all of this is somehow super under the cap

best top six/seven (we could never forget you strawberry soju boy) in the league by combo talent, skill, and the all important Vibes and Narrative and then, well. i shan’t say. kris letang press play on i touch myself.

i have feelings for you

#i like the way you're thinking anon #kris letang press play on i touch myself!!!!! #pens #incredibly funny

[muppetjohntavares]

if i had the animating prowess i'd animate every john tavares media availability but replace him with kermit

#incredibly relevant to my blog concept op #(shrine to mister muppet man)

[muppetjohntavares]

do you ever just want to cry because you thought you caught lightning in a bottle but it's gone again

#ooof johnny 😭 #91 jt #leafs

[muppetjohntavares]

Darcy Kuemper appreciation post

Black & White - Road Conditioning

#you would think im on a tag deep dive but no the followed tag algorithm is just being very generous today #anyway. ogling respectfully #35 nothing kuempers to you #kings

[muppetjohntavares]

Get to Know Darcy Kuemper (x)

#oh baby kuemps 🥹🥹🥹 #thank u followed tags for showing me this #35 nothing kuempers to you #kings

[muppetjohntavares]

a loss is a loss but are you ever really a loser when you've got someone this pretty tending your goal?

#35 jarry #pens

[muppetjohntavares]

there was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead

#prettiest birthday princess!!! #35 jarry #pens #hbd girlie

[muppetjohntavares]

I am going to tear up if I think about it too hard. but the fact that he did this makes me think that he thinks he might not be back.

#don't do this to me oshbabe #i cant take this right after the big jeff surprise (to me) retirement 😭 #77 dieser oschie #horrible end of (post)season for enjoyers of 77 wearing players #caps

[muppetjohntavares]

funniest thing you can do is have photos of celebrities/characters in your home/wallet replacing where youd usually see family

“oh is this framed picture of your… cousin?”

“oh no thats NHL star Boston Bruins goalie Jeremy Swayman. I kiss him everynight before I sleep”

#me with my six hockey men in my wallet #i open up my wallet to pay. you are flashed a smile by motivational message john tavares #also somehow the tkachuk brothers share a shelf with a picture of my dad in my bookshelf. go figure #i should downsize my pocket hockey men but the face people make seeing the card of geno with the tiny hockey kids?; #and tanger on the ice in the goalie cam? priceless

[muppetjohntavares]

nate and cale after scoring together in the tendy tandem | asg 2023 skills: tendy tandem | 2.3.23

#lanches #29 my good friend natemac #8 blushy

[muppetjohntavares]

Kris's 1000th game

#prettiest kitty in all the land #58 tanger #pens #i miss you bbygirl...

[muppetjohntavares]

2024 Stanley Cup Playoffs: Round 1, Game 4 Canucks @ Predators | April 28, 2024

#putting him in my pocket #43 quinnifer #nucks

[muppetjohntavares]

Okay that ranked very high in my personal anthem ranking

#canucks lb