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Xylokinetic Combat and Vehicle Physiology...

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

#cee #ess trade me

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Paper charm magic, coolcool, and... World Healing Magic...?

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

#holy shit #ess

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For uniquely American statements, how about-

They take the front door to Woolworth's (because MACUSA is hidden in the Woolworth Building).

They'll never climb a mountain (Mt. Greylock, where Ilvermorny is located).

Their grandmother's from Massachusetts (a reference to Sale, of course, and specific enough to differentiate between someone who actually has family from Massachusetts? And maybe, with the mix of cultures you get in America, there's a common theory that magic passes best matrilinially).

Maybe-

Their kids have (or will have) a dog? I can't remember mention of any wizarding family or individual having a dog, the closest they seem to get is a crup. (Sirius Black doesn't count.) Maybe dogs are seen as mundane and it's a faux pas to own one, or maybe they are too reactive/not reactive enough to magic and so are unsuitable to magical households.

And can I throw in ويضع السجاد في الأوساخ (wayadae alsijjad fi al'awsakh) which, according to google translate, means "their carpet lays in the dirt" as a beautifully derisive statement a Middle Eastern wizard might make? I know we're talking about America but. Mm.

I was thinking this weekend about how awkward it was that Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them insists that Americans call muggles “no-maj.” First off, it just doesn’t sound like an abbreviation we’d use, and it sounds even worse in plural. But I finally realized the more important point: it’s too direct. Especially for the time period, Americans would never have been that straightforward in talking about a topic that sensitive. And so I would like to submit, in the spirit of early twentieth-century slang, a list of possible euphemisms we may have used for muggles:

He washes his dishes with a cloth.

He pays in nickels and dimes.

He rides the trolley to work. 

He takes his boots to the cobbler.

He’s grateful for Mr. Edison.

He’s one of Grisham’s boys. (here imagining that Grisham was a prominent wizard who famously fathered no magic children)

He dances on the ground.

He writes with a pen.

He’s fond of a two-piece suit.

He’s more King Arthur than Merlin.

He’s got to wind his pocket watch.

He gets his wax from bees.

His wife darns his socks.

He treats his ailments with tonics.

His portraits stay put.

His broom is only for sweeping.

I’m having a little too much fun with this, so if you have any to add, please send them over.

#ess #potterhead

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Enter the year you were born on the gif area and post what you get.

#cee #ess

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Aaaahaha and the checkers pieces can be used to block chess pieces but not capture them, and if you make it to the other side of the board you can chose to be king'd and have a checkers king or set a captured pawn on top to make a chess king so you get an extra chess 'life' but then you have to protect it and it's on the other side of the board. (If you pull pieces from a bag both players start with one king and one pawn and pull the other 14 pieces?)

new idea: hell chess

all the basic rules are the same like playstyle wise

trash talking is encouraged

you get as much time as you need but if you look away from the board your turn is over

the referee is yelling everything like a sports announcer and you cannot complain

you can take one of your pieces from the board and throw it at your opponents head but you sacrifice that piece

you have to name the king and queen something

fun additives to make the game unique:

a. close your eyes and reach into a bag of about 48 chess pieces to pull out your sixteen pieces. whatever you get is what you play and you must follow the rules of those chess pieces. if you get four queens good luck. if you get no queens good luck

b. the referee can decide to throw in as many checkers pieces as a time as they please, as long as equal pieces are distributed to both players. the players are now not only playing chess but also checkers on the same board.

#ess

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The last TV show or movie you watched will now become your life story for the whole summer!

What ones did you get?

#steven universe! #wait #watched actively or was on the television in my presence #if the latter #designated survivor

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1000 Picspams Challenge | #405 House Friendships | Slytherin & Ravenclaw

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we need a universal hand signal for “my parents don’t know about that”

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Welcome to Markiplier TV! Here to bring you the very best in everything that is Markiplier!

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2006 aesthetic

skinny weeaboo girl who sits like L while eating anything

anything to do with death note

yaoi paddles

every pairing has a ‘every time we touch’ amv on youtube

cutting thumb holes in your hoodies

having a million stickers on your deviantart

roleplaying your favourite characters on neopets, but moving the racy rps to msn messenger

kingdom hearts everywhere

snapesnogger’s naga art dominating the deviantart most popular

harry potter ship wars

:3 nyoro~n

leekspin meme

the dance from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or Lucky Star

advice memes

the amazing atheist

lolcats

fml and mlia

_____ the abridged series

epic fail compilations

phoenix wright parodies

OH MY GOD, SHOES

we’re going to candy mountain charrrlliieee~

still using newgrounds.com

one hundred thousand sonic webcomics using sprites and gamer humour

SHOOP DA WOOP

have you seen amv hell 0?

#ess #NO SHAME #we were all children once #i loved this shit

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Anyone else ever think about the fact that Zuko/Azula’s family and Sokka/Katara’s families and their respective narratives were meant to be foils and reflective of one another, with the Political father that both sets of children try desperately to please and honor, the absent mother and the toil it’s taken on the family, the older brother who feels often feels overshadowed by the naturally talented little sister and the struggle said brother has to travel to find themselves and their purpose and decide whether or not that purpose will be supporting the family or not and how that’s ultimately a struggle of love versus fear, and the little sisters’ narratives literally being opposite mirror images of a powerplay of love against fear and how in the end it will be love will always triumph–

 And then how Aang is literally the glue between these families, or maybe even the mirror meant to reflect them to the other–

–Because the families are Aang’s past family and his future family. 

Anyone else?

#cee #azula is the older sister but still #great commentary

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And now he's Lemony Snickett! And rockin it, too. And he is the "Pilot" for Soarin' Over California @ DCA

how do you think the kronk voice actor feels knowing he’ll only ever be recognized as the kronk voice actor

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classic lit authors on ao3

Jane Austen: The slowburn writer to end all slowburn writers. Has a mild case of purple prose syndrome. Sets you up to think she's using a really lame trope or cliche, but then pulls the old BITCH U THOUGHT. Gets in fights with commenters who completely miss the point of her work.

William Shakespeare: Where dick jokes meet feels. Recycles old plots that have been in the fandom for years, but always manages to put a new spin on it. That said, he's better known for good character writing than good plots. Kind of problematic, but people love him anyway. Laughs at and encourages commenters who completely miss the point of his work.

The Brontë Sisters: Their fics get lots of comments but they never reply. They never leave author notes, either. They share an account, and there are talks of a collab fic coming soon. Write fics for OTPs of questionable healthiness and consent. Only ever write darkfic. Like, REALLY dark. ...People are getting kind of worried about them.

Edgar Allan Poe: Also only ever writes darkfic, but at this point, people have moved past being worried about him and have just accepted that he's weird, he's morbid, and we love him. Channels his feelings about his ex into his writing. It results in really good stories but everyone's sort of like, "...Dude."

Charles Dickens: Trying to set the record for highest wordcount on ao3, and it shows.

Victor Hugo: Currently holds the record for highest wordcount on ao3.

Oscar Wilde: Only ever writes M/M. Has a BAD case of purple prose, but it's worth it if you manage to get through. His stories are either hilarious or soul-crushing. Or somehow both. People love him but know better than to disagree with him publicly, lest he destroy you with one of his infamous subtweets.

L. Frank Baum: Wrote one really well-loved story that's among the most famous in the fandom, and it's literally all he's known for, and it pisses him off. His popular story became a multichap against his will because it's the only one of his stories anyone actually reads. He keeps trying to end it so he can work on other things, but always ends up coming back.

Arthur Conan Doyle: Feels L. Frank Baum's pain. SO much.

James Joyce: Has fascinating ideas, but takes forEVER to get to the point in his stories. Also a stoner, and it shows.

Lousia May Alcott: Writes stories for her unpopular OTP (that's a NOTP for most of the fandom) and breaks up everyone's favorite ships, mainly out of spite. Also kills everyone's favorite characters, less so out of spite.

Mary Shelley: Writes incredible stories, but publishes under her boyfriend's account because she's banned from ao3. ...Again.

#ess #iM DYIGN

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ALL HAIL

Bubbles

These are natural. More commonly known as Mammatus clouds. On this rare occasion, the lighting makes it look unreal.

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 I’m afraid of Americans

#ess #yup