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#SoundCloud

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I must admit when I first saw the circle of fifths I was like "what fucking voodoo is this?".

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Merry Christmas

#SoundCloud

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Me? Buy stupid shit? I can't believe it.

WAIT! It’s been ME spending MY money?

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Battery Powered Romance

Rose was in her solar system simulation. She had no clients which was odd given how busy the site was. It should have worried her but now she accepted her fate. She knew it was only a matter of time before she was erased. When she was pulled from her simulation she knew. It was almost over and her only regret was she would have no more time with Frank. But she suddenly found herself in a room with Victorian furniture. If she was being erased the company was going about it in an odd way. She looked up at a painting over a large renaissance fireplace of a woman sitting in a divan identical to the one in front of the fireplace. She turned to look at a mirror that was hanging on one wall and then looked back at the painting. The painting was of her. Walking to the fireplace she sat down on the divan and looked at the painting. It was strangely like looking into a mirror, the furniture in the painting was identical to the furniture in the room. However in the painting she was holding an old wooden hourglass. She noted that the hourglass had run completely down. Patiently she waited, staring up at the painting, listening to the sound of some large ticking timepiece that she couldn’t see that she assumed was in another room.

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Technically he succeeded. He won't be nutting in November.

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I can't believe I just googled "do spiders have vaginas?". Turns out no. No they do not.

which tolkien character has the fattest ass

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☝☝

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Would you rather have guns or pumpkin spice lattes? Guns make us prepared. Pumpkin spice lattes make us basic.

It’s that time of year again

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I know girls aren’t really harder to raise than boys, the issue usually just crops up when people try to get their daughters to be pretty and quiet objects, but honestly, in our current culture, when you do it right girls are harder to raise than boys. my parents raised my siblings and I to be outspoken and unforgiving of bullshit and my brothers were the most popular boys in school and my sisters and I were coming home like “why don’t people like that we aren’t total pushovers. why do people get so offended that we aren’t falling all over ourselves to clean up their messes” and my parents had to be like, “yikes! sorry girls, we forgot to warn you about that. that’s going to be a trend in your lives.” as much as I’m glad I did it, stabbing the guy who groped me in high school did not win me homecoming queen. my parents had to run double duty to undo society trying to reverse their parenting and convince us that we were actually stupid sex objects, on top of actually parenting us. my brothers were praised for being “straightforward” by every teacher ever, and my sisters and i ended up in detention regularly for having an attitude or arguing with teachers about sexist unfair shit.

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I picked the right profile picture.

Boo-urns

#Mr Burns #politics #sci-fi #joe biden

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Sir, how dare you misgender this stunning and brave woman. Oh shit, I just assumed your gender. #Selfcancelled. #Wellgotttago

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"(with him powerlessly looking on and crying and screaming and tearing out his hair before doing some more cocaine to calm himself)" Is it wrong that this image made me hard enough to split my trousers?

No literally where did it go kfahdahdsf

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It was always about control, not productivity. There are way too many bosses who care more about control than results.