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A bread is one of the most vulnerable animals on earth of all time. It can die in a number of different ways, which include being smashed, being old, being rottened, being crumpled up, getting too hot, having water put on it, and having water not on it but being in the air a lot (the water (mist)). The bread’s favorite way to die is being eaten, but the world is a complicated place, and it does not care for what the bread wants, and so it dies in a variety of ways which are not the preference of the bread.

Humans are considered the bread’s natural predator, and also, are the bread’s mommy (make/give birth to the bread). Humans are a large species of ant or plant or ele phant with two grasping appendages which they use to give birth to the bread. They also have one hole which eats the bread, and some other holes, which the bread is not allowed near, generally.

Some bread can go in the fridge. Some bread has fruit in it. Scientists don’t know why, as putting fruit in the bread is considered yucky, and scientists have difficulty imagining an organism that likes yucky things.

There is the anteater, which is an organism that likes yucky things, but scientists do not need to imagine it, because it is real.

#oddity

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“It’s pouring rain out and I’m not at all attracted to you.”

#need someone to look at me like this fr :(

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Terrible, horrible metafan comic based on Kate Beaton's Poe shortie at Hark! A vagrant featuring the worst possible space lyctor ship; please enjoy

I'm also going to include a detail shot because this was my proudest moment

#the locked tomb

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harvard has fallen

#good for them

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MALYAROVA OLGA Red Bird Dress 2022 if you want to support this blog consider donating to:ko-fi.com/fashionrunways

#fashion

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— WISŁAWA SZYMBORSKA, translated from the Polish by Clare Cavanagh & Stanisław Barańczak.

#poetry

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going to the movies alone is one of the last sacred experiences of modern society

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#every other day #unless i get gross or sweaty then it's every day #and if it's a bad mental health streak i might go longer without #but i do try to keep it every other day even when my brain is bad because being clean makes me feel better

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i love when guys come in and order samwiches like "oh this ones not for me its for the WIFE haha such a weird order i know but its not for me its for my wife. i wouldnt usually order this but its for my wife" like alright mister whatever you say 🤨 heres your sissy lil faggy homosexual samwich! for YOU!

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why is tumblr roasting this cat every 5 posts on my dash

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As I gaze at the structural column in Copley Station, cracked nearly in two and held together with zip ties that have been carefully painted over to match the column underneath, I feel my soul intertwined with that of a small Italian boy of days gone by, who also stopped to look up at a large, groaning, newly painted tank full of molasses

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I wanna sit under your desk and do silly stuff with my mouth to distract u while you work (i am chewing electrical cords)

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bro I put on SPF 70 and went outside for 4 hours and still got sunburned. innovations in applied caucasian studies etc etc

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6-month-old mini aussie puppy 😭😭😭😭

#dogwatch

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The truth is out there.

#comics

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there needs to be a gender neutral word for niece/nephew that a) doesnt make explicit reference to them being your siblings kid b) doesnt sound fucking stupid