mortalorder

[mortalorder]

i hate it when game devs put “fixed several issues” in patch notes 

no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.

you know those patch notes that are like “fixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, they’d become the size of a skyscraper” 

i wanna read those. tell me those. 

[mortalorder]

sir that is my beloved mutual with whom i have not shared a fandom since 2013

[mortalorder]

I get a lot of entertainment thinking about how containers are used in video games sometimes.

[mortalorder]

[mortalorder]

alright I reflected on the self. I'm 100% sure the beasts are the issue here

[mortalorder]

you there. high quality production youtube channel with a team of people. why are your captions autogenerated.

[mortalorder]

my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.

it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.

it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords

[mortalorder]

wet vs dry

[id: a tiktok by dogsofttiktok6. Upbeat music plays as it shows clips of a variety of dogs, cats, and one chicken, before and after a bath. The “after” animals usually look waterlogged and unhappy. In some cases, the difference between the dry and wet appearances are slight, with the hair a little plastered down. In the case of the chicken and some of the fluffier cats and dogs, their wet coat/feathers sticks to their body, revealing that they are actually much smaller than they looked.] (id by @levymcgarden55 - thanks!)

[mortalorder]

TIL that there's an '80s movie where they portrayed Smilodon by sticking actual fake teeth onto actual live lions.

[mortalorder]

[mortalorder]

there’s such an unbelievable multitude of this type of (straight) woman who’s like “when he mentions a ‘she’ 😡🥺👀” “when he calls some girl his ‘friend’ 👀👀🔪” etc and this person is like a different species to me. this person is a space alien. this type of person makes me feel like amy adams in arrival

[mortalorder]

[mortalorder]

Feeling sleepy 😴

#pokemon hypno #pokemon

[mortalorder]

being the most left leaning family member means everyone will always think that youre insane and then in two years they will believe what you were explaining to them two years ago but still think youre insane now. and you do it anywaybecause you love them

[mortalorder]

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

[mortalorder]

[mortalorder]

tipsy girl at the club is a kind of paladin