people just wanna shake me
i'm sorry if i'm quiet now
i think i just like you
i'm nervous to show you myself
scared you might find out
that i'm dumber than you might think
people just wanna shake me
shake me up side down like a soft drink
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― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
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my love is a witness
for the loss of your innocence
so give it all up, give it distance
live it up for the path of resistance
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May Sarton, from Recovering: A Journal [ID in alt text]
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and i don't know the answer
but i know that you don't have it
i don't know what i want
but i know what i don't, you bastard
i don't know what's right
i just know that you're wrong
i don't know where home is
but i know that i'm not there now
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trapped inside my mind
thoughts of a better life
thinking back to a time
when i was yours and you were mine
there was so much more to say
but i couldn't find the strength to speak
and now i can barely breathe
selfishness flows through my veins
setting fire to my soul
into an early grave
selfishness deeper within
reduced to ash crippled by guilt
consuming all of me
i let my emptiness drag me to hell
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we just need to throw some new ideas in
it will eventually get out of this closed off circle we are part of
W H I T E W A L L
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-Jens Lekman
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anything to kill this grief
anything to numb
anything to kill your ghost
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these words will last forever
i'll dream our memories away just to make you hurt
just to make you feel my pain
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but i must say what i feel and think in some way
it is such a relief
but the effort is getting to be greater than the relief
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i'm scared to get close and i hate being alone
i long for that feeling to not feel at all
the higher i get, the lower i'll sink
i can't drown my demons, they know how to swim
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take your time to find me
i can't promise where i'll be
it was my mistake from the start
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