messagefromthedaughters-blog

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ERA - We’re almost there!

We’re getting closer to the Equal Rights Amendment becoming a part of the U.S. Constitution. With 38 states having already ratified (shout out to Nevada, Illinois, and Virginia) there is nothing standing in the way of women’s equality (aside from some arbitrary date given in the past). But since we know better, we’re gonna do better, right? This is major! Listen…

#ERA2023 #equalrightsamendment #womensrights #usconstitution

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Ayanna Pressley Leads Press Conference On Democratic Joint Resolution Fo...

We’re almost there!

#youtube #equalrightsamendment #ERA2023 womanequality

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#messagefromthedaughters #honoringtheself #radicalselflove #breathing #comfort

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…And Joy Cometh In the Morning!

2023! - Yay, we made it to a new year! Glory be to the gods! 

As I celebrate another trip around the Sun today, I reluctantly considered the year past and what it meant for me. Reluctant because I was anxious to construct and begin new goals but I knew I had to stop to contemplate the lessons learned from previous chapters. Why? Lessons I’ve learned from the prior year or chapter, I will take with me as I continue to grow and write new chapters. 

There were relationships that required new boundaries as well as relationships that required an ending. But at the same time, there were old bonds that were strengthened and new communities that are now budding (shout out to the #blackgirlfollowtrain on TikTok). 

Another insight was that I was successful at being aware of the goings-on of the world without being consumed by it. This was major! And I learned how to check in with my Self on a regular basis. So now that I’ve gathered actionable insights from the recent past, I could revel in the making of new goals and intentions. 

For me, 2022 was a long and rough winter evening.  I tossed, I turned (literally and figuratively) but I woke up feeling glorious and ready to take on the day. Here’s to a new year, a growing me, fabulous friends, and golden opportunities. 

#joy #blackgirlfollowtrain #new year #birthday #messagefromthedaughters #insights

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15 Ways You Can Protect Black Women

For anyone wondering how they can protect Black women, know that there are a myriad of ways to do so. Here’s a short list of ways that you, too, can help:

Support and amplify the voices of Black women when they speak out on issues that affect them.

Educate yourself on the history of Black women and the unique struggles they have faced throughout time.

Support Black-owned businesses that are owned and operated by Black women.

Vote for candidates and policies that prioritize the rights, safety, and wellbeing of Black women.

Learn about the unique health needs of Black women and advocate for healthcare policies and services that meet those needs.

Join or create organizations that advocate for the rights of Black women.

Challenge racist and sexist stereotypes and language whenever you encounter them.

Speak up when you see Black women being targeted or discriminated against.

Support and celebrate the successes of Black women.

Listen to and learn from the stories of Black women.

Support organizations that are dedicated to protecting and advocating for the rights of black women.

Raise awareness about issues that disproportionately affect black women, such as racial profiling and unequal pay.

Amplify the voices of black women by listening to and amplifying their stories and experiences.

Educate yourself and others about the injustices black women face, so that you can become a better ally and advocate.

Create safe spaces for black women to speak their truth without fear of judgement or retribution.

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Spring has Sprung.

By Qwaneeqwa Cotton

Spring has Sprung. Trees growing. Flowers blooming. Sun is shining. All things NEW. So what about you?

When we have children, we understand the importance of balancing the things in their life. Their diet, their activities, their schooling, and the time they have to play. This is because as parents we want what's best for our children and a WELL BALANCED Lifestyle is a joy to growth and health.

As adults, we STILL NEED that. Yes, we are parents, employees, business owners, volunteers, and more. We're starting, moving, changing, and living life. Starting NEW chapters and closing old ones. Don't lose the importance of self when it seems overwhelming. Take a step back and re-evaluate, re-focus, and refresh.

Remember these key things:

Spiritual dimension - Where's your faith level and belief at? What is your belief? Connect with it.

Physical dimension - Exercise (no, it doesn't have to be extreme). A simple walk up and down your street (or stairs) will do. Nutrition. Eat sensibly and comfortably. Rest. You still need adequate sleep to function at your greatest.

Emotional - Be in the with your feelings. Don't ignore them. Learn to express yourself in a healthy way.

Occupational dimension - What brings you joy? What can you do forever even if you never got paid? Do that. Our gifts and talents will make way for us. Meaning that when we use our gifts to serve others, they serve us in provisional monetary ways.

These are just the beginning steps. Then there are the environmental, social, and intellectual dimensions. We exist in them all. So what's the takeaway? Self-care is not selfish.

Balance is key. Let's Grow!

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ENDING GENERATIONAL TRAUMA

Unwanted Hands by LaLa

The Hands of a Stranger

The hands of a stranger that I know

caressing the limits I didn’t ask to be pushed.

My soul leaving my body because it doesn’t want to be present to this. Mouth shut because my words mean nothing no more.

No fight left in me

No soul

No words

Just sweat

The silent tears

and the finish of a stranger I once knew.

The above piece, sent in by Lala, is an experience we hear and know about far too often for far too long. This taboo subject is often not to be talked about in family circles. And even worse, it is ignored by those we depend on for protection and refuge. When speaking out, we are told we are the cause of confusion in our families or just about bringing drama.  But those that label it as such know and realize that there is a problem but are too coward to admit it. 

Why is this? 

Why aren’t our bodies worth protecting? 

Why is it okay for access when consent is withdrawn? 

Why are we gaslighted when exclaiming the unwanted touch or attention from others? 

Why are the perpetrators worth protecting but not our bodies? 

Why are our feelings relegated as a non-factor in our family circles? 

 Sexual abuse will not stop being a problem in our generational lines and familial communities until the perpetrators are called out, shamed, and held accountable. The overall message should be “This will not be tolerated - AT ALL!”  Until this happens on scale then abuse will always creep and prey in our families breaking and devouring souls sometimes before they are fully formed. 

We can stop this madness, break this generational violation and reclaim the family unit. Victims need to be believed and supported.  Thus, we need to have this conversation with our families. It is a tough conversation indeed and in some cases, you may need to have a mediator involved.

If you are the victim of abuse talk to someone you trust.  If none are available, contact one of the national hotlines for victims’ services. Talk to someone and begin reclaiming that part of your self that was violated. 

Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) 800–656–HOPE (800–656–4673)

StrongHearts Native Helpline (domestic violence and dating violence support for Native Americans)  844–7NATIVE (844–762–8483)

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Setting Boundaries

Sometimes we find ourselves in the difficult position of having to put distance between ourselves and others. What that looks like may be different for everyone. For me, it was cutting off phone communication from someone who exhibited extreme toxic behavior.  I found this person disrespecting my time and expelling negative energy with every breath.  It was time for action on my part.  My time on this planet is ever so important and I take careful effort to curate my space for constant growth. To have this negatively impacted by others required a change in access to my self and space. 

Now this doesn’t mean that I love them any less, just that I love myself more. I honor me by drawing a clear line in the sand what I deem necessary in order for me to thrive. Love, respect, kindness, honesty, and authenticity is vital to my existence.  Anything opposite of these characteristics must not be allowed to dwell in my sacred space. 

Even though these decisions seem harsh, especially when dealing with someone you love very dearly, we have to remind ourselves that we’re no good to ANYONE if toxicity seeps into our ether and into our space. 

Setting boundaries is necessary self-care in order to maintain who we are or fully become who we aim to be.  It’s a part of loving our whole selves.  Not everyone is meant to accompany you on your journey. Not everyone will understand or even respect the path that you’re on.  Remember that It is not your burden to help them understand but it is your responsibility to be the vanguard of your journey. 

Someone once said that “you can’t make someone respect you but you can refuse to be disrespected.” Set those boundaries and make them clear. Then exhale. You’ll be all the better for it. 

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DONT SCROLL

my donation posts keep dying no matter what i do and these past months my posts have gotten little coverage. me and my family are struggling very hard to make ends meet and we need assistance for things like groceries, bills, and medical expenses. im asking if you can spare your time to boost or donate, any little thing helps even if its just a dollar.

paypal

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I love talking about this so here's another instance of me talking about it: during the 504 Sit-Ins, wherein disabled activists occupied federal buildings in 1977 demanding better protections from the US government as they delayed enacting the regulations set forth in 1973's Rehabilitation Act, specifically the section entitled 504, which was supposed to provide better access to education and employment for disabled people, and the accommodations needed for such.

The activists, disabled or sick in a variety of ways, occupied multiple federal buildings across the the USA. The occupation of 50 United Nations Plaza Federal Office Building in San Francisco lasted 26 days, the longest of the protests, and I believe the longest occupation of a federal building in the USA's history.

The protest was spear-headed and led mostly by disabled women, many of them queer disabled women.

The length of the occupation was only made possible by the support of the Black Panthers, who brought food to the activists daily and stood their ground against the FBI when the feds tried to stop them from entering the plaza in an attempt to starve the protesters out. The Black Panthers then proceeded to bring hot meals every day for the rest of the protest, which ended with the enactment of the 504 regulation

Moral of the story: mass movements and protests work better when you have solidarity among various movements who, while initially fighting for different people, are all fighting for a common goal--rights, safety, empowerment, etc--and the Black Panther Party was demonized by the federal government and individual authorities not only because they were they fighting for the rights, safety, and empowerment of Black people, but because they were fully capable of and did bring unity among the many civil rights groups fighting for the individual causes, in a way that would have enacted great change in this country had they not been infiltrated and destroyed from within, arrested on bs charges, or flat out murdered by the federal government.

Anyway the history of disabled rights are unknown even among the modern disabled, the involvement of the Black Panther Party is even less known, and without the 504 regulation laying down the base foundation we probably wouldn't have the ADA so here's your history lesson informing you about all this. And thank you Black Panthers ✊🏿♿✊

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Benedicta Buatsie

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@/brownblaze on Twitter

There are no new links from Ms. Yates, though I second giving directly to individuals and families (or those who can send that money to their families). General communications seem to still be down in the South (WhatsApp might be working for some), but they're working on it.

Fanm Djanm on IG has posted this:

And here are the Instagram links:

Ayiti Community Trust

Hope for Haiti

Grown In Haiti

Bati School

Two links suggested in the replies of the previous tweet :

This organization Little Footprints Big Steps was already accepting donations from the previous earthquake to help families in Les Cayes (where the recent earthquake hit nearby)

Haiti Air Ambulance is another that works sitting emergencies to help airlift victims to emergency medical care providers

There's a lot going on, but ever bit can count!

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The Dark Place

Overwhelmed

by RDC

Blaring music coming from 

the speakers

Voices heard throughout the hall

And it is the fast and hard pounding 

of my heart

that is the loudest of them all

So many dark thoughts

Are being entertained in my mind

But I can’t control or stop them

A solution I cannot find

Pray…I did that

Cry… I did that too

Sometimes I wonder if all 

this heartache

Is worth going through

I feel so hopeless

like no one cares

I’m not sure how much longer

this burden I can bear

The above poem, sent in by RDC, speaks of that dark place you experience when you have truly had enough.

God, Multiverse, Ancestors…I just can’t take any more

But here it comes - The ‘more’ you couldn’t take. 

No, not this. This will surely be the end of me. The end of it all. 

It’s just one more thing on a heaping pile of things that puts you over the edge to think you will not survive.

So here you are. Falling off the edge and dangling in limbo, the fire underneath. 

Now this is too much…

How will I get through this?

Will I get through this?

Do I even want to go on?

Your breathing becomes rapid and you are empty of tears. You feel drained. There’s no more fight left. 

Inhaling…Exhaling…

But yet, you breathe, even without permission.

Relief, where are you? 

But only echoes of nothingness fill the air. Feelings like disappearing take over because you just can’t do anymore.

Inhaling…Exhaling…

You know what? At this moment, be sad. Be angry. Be frustrated. Clench your fist if you must. Grab that pillow, lean in, and let that scream out.

Inhaling…Exhaling…

And if the tears flow, let them flow until they empty you of the strain and comfort you. 

Just lay there if you’re inclined to do so. Remain in the stillness that envelopes you in this time. 

Inhaling…Exhaling…

When these feelings are there, face them, accept them. Honor this very human part of you.  It doesn’t make you weak or less than but rather just the opposite.  Facing these moments and allowing your being to run its course naturally can prevent blow-ups or underlying rage and longer states of depression. 

But now what? What to do next?

Unfortunately, the answer may not come at this moment. But this post is about being where you are. Accepting the state that you’re in. And breathing throughout. As human beings, we will feel a range of emotions, and we must accept these states if we’re to overcome them.  In other words, ignoring these feelings will cause them to underline everything that we do, think, and feel. 

Inhaling…Exhaling…

You’re still breathing. And this may be the only thing you can do at this moment.

#overwhelmed #thedarkplace #breathing #anger #Frustration #honoringtheself #inhaling #exhaling #hugyourself #depression

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Making Space for Self

The job. The kids. The partner. The family. The friends. The coworkers. The classmates. We manage to make space in our lives for them all. But what about our Self? Do we make space for our Selves daily or rarely? 

The fact that our bodies and minds tend to all the aforementioned (and in some cases, even more) day in and day out says something about our physical and mental agility.  It says we should always take time to honor and make space for it…it being our whole Self.  

But how can we make space for our Selves daily? Finding the time can seem like a challenge. Not everyone can take the time out for a long bubble bath, background jazz music and scented candles.  However, making space for Self doesn’t have to be as event or time driven as we may think.  In fact, making space for our Self can be as simple as honoring who we are in the moment.

And one way to honor a moment in time is by listening to our breathing. Just listen.   Yes, that physiological process that we may take for granted.  The proof of life. Whether we’re in the car, between meetings or making meals, listening to the breathe can make a world of difference. 

Listen to the breath. Ahhh. This breathing. That’s me! That’s life! I’m alive. My body. Breathing. On its own. In this moment I am aware. Of self. I’m grateful for me. My breathing. My mind. My body. Connecting with the source of this breath. I honor this breath. This body. This mind. In this moment I make space for self. I honor me. And I am grateful. 

What are some other ways you make space for Self?

#comfort #hugyourself #radicalselflove #messagefromthedaughters #breathing #makingspaceforself #honoringtheself

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💓💓💓

#messagefromthedaughters #happy mother's day 2021

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#messagefromthedaughters

#messagefromthedaughters #mothers and daughters #happy mother's day 2021