meri-writes

[meri-writes]

I love what I fear the most.

#meri writes

[meri-writes]

I hate myself more than anyone. They're my greatest enemy, they know all my weaknesses, and they constantly use them against me.

But I love you more than anyone. You're my greatest ally, you know all my strengths and you constantly use them to uplift me.

What's more; I love you more than I hate myself, so I'll stay, I'll stay for you.

#meri writes #just some thoughts #about no one in particular #maybe #don't worry about it

[meri-writes]

When I lost you, I lost something people go their whole lives searching for; something most people never find. Not love, not status, not wealth, or fame.

Enough.

I wanted for nothing else but to be with you.

#meri writes

[meri-writes]

The characters I write that I love the most, I tend to hurt them the most. I hurt them, I break them, by the end, they are not the same person they started as. But I always make them strong. Strong enough to survive, to fight through the pain. Sometimes, I can't help but feel, like I'm writing, who I want to be........

#meri writes #a bit more personal this time

[meri-writes]

I promise I won't let what you worked so hard protecting die.

And I promise, it won't die by it's own hands.

#meri writes

[meri-writes]

Sink or Swim

It's like swimming in the middle of the ocean, the waves crashing against me, it's cold, I can barely see. Everything is so hard, not impossible, but hard.

And the question I must ask myself, is will I give up and sink, or keep trying, and swim?

I chose to sink........ But I can't, because I have a lifeline, that holds me up, that teaches me to swim.

And for so long, I swim, the water colder, deeper, more treacherous, I lose parts of myself, I lose things I can never get back.

And the question I must ask, through all this loss, is if I'll lose myself too and sink, or if I'll keep trying, and swim?

I choose to sink........ But I can't, the lifeline holds me so tightly, it can't pull my out of the water, but it can stop me from sinking.

I lose track of time, of space, am I even making progress? I lose the reason why I keep swimming, why this lifeline of mine, keeps me from sinking.

And the question I ask myself, is if the beckoning of the depths below will finally win me over, and sink, or if I'll keep trying, and swim?

And I choose to sink........ The darkness below feels safer than whatever light I could find at the end of this. But my lifeline keeps my afloat, prevents me from going to the depths no matter how badly I want it.

The waves hit harder than ever before, the water freezing me to my very core. I'm scared, angry, upset, stuck in the deepest waters yet. And I feel a snap, as my lifeline breaks. No longer there to keep me safe.

And the question must be asked, will I finally succumb to the waves and it's terror, will I finally sink, putting an end to this pain, or will I keep trying, and swim?

........Swim I choose to swim The most difficult and most painful decision I've ever made. But I want to swim.

#meri writes #this is just for me #a poem about losing something that meant everything to me

[meri-writes]

I want to break the kindest soul, I want to hear them curse my name.

#meri writes #okay i did think about giving this more context #but honestly #it's really dark #i mean REALLY dark

[meri-writes]

Living for myself is impossible, but living for others feels wrong. I want to leave already, I've found nothing for myself here.

Dying for others is too easy, but dying for myself is selfish. I want to stay, in my hoard of lies and my never ending web.

#meri writes #just creative writing #don't think too hard about it

[meri-writes]

I want to see you bleed.

#meri writes #out of context #but i promise there is context #but like #maybe i don't know what it is #sorry it's so short #i just get these thoughts and i NEED to write them down #otherwise this single phrase will replay in my head and i won't be able to think about anything else

[meri-writes]

I want you to hurt me in ways that only someone who loves me can.

#meri writes #this is NOT about abuse

[meri-writes]

And look at how far you've come.

#meri writes #i would write more #but i like how short this is #is there context? maybe!

[meri-writes]

Remember. Remember why you're here, why you do what you do. Remember the feelings you had, that first drove you to come this far. Remember all the pain you felt, all the joy you had, all the sadness in your heart.

#meri writes #this is about a villain in a story i'm writing #i like villain monologues #but i also don't like villain monologues #i think i write a monologue they would have #then just base a personality off of that

[meri-writes]

I keep getting these thoughts, of cracking Minds cracking Bodies cracking Buildings cracking The streets cracking The world cracking....

#random thoughts #meri writes

[meri-writes]

First post, hopefully of many, gonna try and write one every day, let's see how that goes.

#meri writes #not story related