mercurybomber

[mercurybomber]

taylor swift fans are so scary it's like i'm in the truman show. watching taylor swift fans talk about how she soo gets neurospicy mental illness grippy sock vacation is exactly how truman felt when his wife started advertising coffee or something to nobody in particular

#thinking about the customer i helped at work who unprompted told me she’s a 3rd grade teacher and her classroom is taylor swift themed #and she was making a custom taylor swift barbie doll to use in an upcoming class diorama project

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[mercurybomber]

カツブシよこせです

Give me bonito flakes!

#cats

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in the 19th century i would've gotten diagnosed with ghosts in my brain

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i love tumblr because sometimes i get an urge to rb posts about something nobody likes and everyone just politely ignores me. everyone's like oh he's fallen into madness again, he'll be fine later i guess

#me

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Hangyodon Kyubifuwa Plush

#cubical

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First thing he did when we moved into the new place was figure out how to open the closet door and grin devilishly

#cats

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The Snarling Snatcher

#cats

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first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

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Snoopy's first thought

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don’t ever feel guilty cuz whatever you did wrong was probably your parents fault or the government’s

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sometimes life is very boring and no one will throw ANY frisbee at ALL and all you can do is curl up in your new pallet bed and bitterly eat pieces of your headrest

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Apples are so fucked up you can get two from the same pile ans one tastes more like an apple than anything youve ever eaten and the other tastes like water poisoned by pharaohs

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you cannot advertise to me in a way that matters.

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nice outfit LOSER lol *puts phone up to ear* 65,000,000 BCE called .They said aomething really bad happened to the dinosaurs