melancholyprocess-blog

[melancholyprocess-blog]

[melancholyprocess-blog]

[melancholyprocess-blog]

Mac Miller in his home studio photographed by Sam Balaban

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Grace’s moody living room. 

via moody maximalism

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#anticapitalist #workingclass #modernslavery #humanrights

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I'm allowed to be sad, and healing takes time. I thought we were going to be together forever and i honestly don't know why. I feel like I always secretly knew that we were morally incompatible, but they would always surprise me. Sometimes they would be kind. Sometimes they would be the most loving and validating person in the world. It felt like nobody would understand me better than you. But you broke a window. You tore down the walls. You beat the shit out of me. I spent so many hours holding the bedroom door shut in fear of your anger and violence. Now, I don't even remember what you were angry about. I can't imagine anything I could do to justify that type of treatment. But that's the thing. I never deserved it. I NEVER DESERVED TO BE TREATED THAT WAY. The "justice" from the government doesn't feel like justice. I feel like I can feel when you think about me and talk about me. We talked often about feeling psychically linked. That's why it was so obvious when you were using drugs/cheating on me. I'm allowed to be sad. I'm allowed to be devastated. I loved you. I was wrong for that. But I really fucking loved you.

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NEVER put someone's POTENTIAL over your own fucking mental health and wellbeing. That is not only self sacrifice, but self harm. You will resent them. They will resent you. It will end explosively. No relationship can ever withstand expectations greater than what they are honestly capable of. Sure he is sweet to you sometimes, but would you really want him to have any influence over your children? You are better off alone, rather than wasting energy on someone who refuses/cannot better themself.

Set your boundaries in stone. Still, if a person continuously disrespects these limits, and proceed to call you “too sensitive” or “dramatic”, then walk away from their lives. There is no point in reinforcing your boundaries to someone who will always invalidate them, and then disrespect you again.

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