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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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Day whatever
Il just update from time to time, New job yay alot happier there must have been my old work that was making me so mad and sad constantly, My boys walking yay well when ever he wants to that is at least hes on his feet yay, Little girls gettin older still annoying sometimes but gettin better My girl is gettin better sex still obsolete tho fml, sometimes i feel alot of love other times hate likw i could kick her out on her ass bit every relationship is the same isnt it? Me im ok im not constantly sayin im dying ir having many of them thoughts just working on my bike and cant wait to get back out on it. Its what keeps me going to be honest You depressed get a bike youl never look back for real no joke, Still have somedays where i get sad for no reason but fuck it man time to get mine, keep going to my goals and someday il be making bikes for ppl and be well known for custom bikes huh? God i wish but they do say if you want something bad enough youl get it right? Well until next time, Ohh shit yeah my friends fuck man i dont see anyone anymore feels like i aint got friends wheres my boys man didnt even have a birthday night out noone even wanted to go, how fucked is that i wouldnt miss any of there birthdays loyalty is cheap just cus i got a kid n cant come out to you guys yall know where i live come see me, that's something that gets me down alot my bros arnt so much bros now just, friends now everyone is moving on but seems im standing still fuck that So on that note untill next time, maybe someday someone will follow this blog
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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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Soooo
Since i fucked up with the days il just update when i can, So the new job within the new job... shit could have been doing my old job with way less hours and the same pay.. so thats great, i asked my girls dad to get me in with him to work. Its a factory job so its shit but its good for money, at home everything is shit i cant do anything at all wothout being questioned. Fuck it all. Now i am alone ive no friends basically, they don't understand the struggle with this life, its shit they dont call up see how i am or anything n basically dont reply to texts. Theres bound to be more than this man. I feel like a slave to the grind. No joke i feel i work come home look after family go to bed theres no in between fun or going places fun its fucking shit.. its up to me to change it but god dam its hard
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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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Day4
Today was not bad in work kinda enjoyed today, went good thought i made a good impression, i can see my old boss avoiding me, little bitch fucked me over and feels bad, all i eanted today is to ride my bike and escape for a few hours. That would be amazing. At home its shit just continually staring and thinking how my life could have been, i used to fuck some bad bitches, now i dont have anything.. fuck. Life sucks. I nesd my bike to escape shes my bad bitch now, my only friend i can rely on, my guys dont seem to bother with me anymore it hurts man.. they dont understand i cant just go when you have kids, esp when ur gf is a controlling cunt. Sometimes its better to just let her have her way than the endless arguements. I could kill her sometimes and there would be noone for the kids then.. no joke.
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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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Day3
Just a blur i didnt update yesterday, was just a typical day? Went to work in my new position starting to get used to it now i think the people make it better, still nothing improving at home same shit no sex and boring atmosphere, im not the age for that, i could be out meeting girls and having sex easy, i did it b4 look where that got me.. fuck. Ohh we'll continue on see if i can change this shit
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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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Day 2
Keep saying to myself im dieing? Lol weird y do i keep saying it i dont know. Im surrounded by family but feel alone. Find myslef staring alot people ask if im okay. I am 'dieing' internally but i say im okay, ask what am i thinking to be honest, nothing. In my head is nothing its empty all the ideas i had all the thoughts i had are gone just empty just like how i feel my life is leading to fuck all, just here takin life as it comes, dont know what i want to do next or go just sittin here staring at nothing thinking about nothing.. fuck me 23 2 kids a house okay job and im in a absolute mental shitstorm. Only reason i havent done anything drastic is cause of my little guy, i never told anyone that before no1 really knows what im actually thinking, im good a hiding, good at taking shit as it comes and continuing on like it aint shit. But its all a lie, im internally screaming mentally stabbing people in the fuckin neck for doing and saying shit they shouldnt have to mee
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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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Day2
Went out last night with my girl n my buddy n his girl, was good had some dinner and few drinks, took my mood off the shit thats happenin, but today i woke up feeling shit not with the drink but emotionally, everydays the same sometimes i can forget but its always there eatting me from the inside out, i wasnt good enough.. Fuckers, fuck them. At least at home things are a bit better, still not had sex in months could b around 6 month mark could be more, i dono i just couldnt be assed trying now. So much for a steady relationship. Bullshit, sometimes i just want to go and never come back to any of it, if i hadnt my son id of been gone long ago.
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meher1dog1girl1boy · 7 years
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So far
3 months ago got a job i wanted for a long time got on good done quite well, but my bosses thought that they would move me into a shitty back stage job that doesnt require alot a skills or require you to really challenge yourself, so thats shit. Home life is pretty mediocre nothing good boring never have anytime for anyone never have any fun, no body comes to visit. So in a nut shell my life is shit atm and i am gona write on this everyday so i can look at my progress to better life and better mental health
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