mcrtyrdomsarchived

[mcrtyrdomsarchived]

( @nightreststarters )

gabe's sitting on the curb outside deadlights -- not because they want to, but because that's where they've been resigned to; their lip's bleeding, and their knuckles ache bad - they can't tell if they like the feeling or not, but it's something. something other than the pit at the bottom of their stomach and its twists and its aches and its ever-looming, growing nausea. gabe feels sick. maybe that's why they'd started the fight inside - why they were now on the timeout curb; should just be lucky their job's not on the line - not like gabe has a boss to fire them, anymore, anyways. somehow, they really don't feel that lucky at all. "what?" it's almost spat out - trembling, adrenaline-shot hand reaching to wipe at the blood collecting against their mouth - flinches at their now-tender piercing; their eyes flickering up towards the approaching shadow, "i don't look that bad, do i? s'just a scratch. barely hurts. you should see the other guy, really."

#––– ❛ starter 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #gabe go to the gastro omg tummy issues much? #violence mention tw #blood tw #literally dont match length im just dramatic #once again. maybe urs punched gabe. fair game<3 #ok runs to reply to other opens now

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Sharp air filled their lungs as he forced himself to breathe in - a feeble attempt at holding himself together that only further collapsed as Jaziel held their foreheads together. "Fuck - fuck," were the only words Gabe could get himself to say, folding beneath his brother's hug. They could feel their lip wobble, the suction of a sob threatening to spill out - fuck, this was embarrassing - exactly what Gabe didn't want to happen; but there was no stopping it now, hands clinging to the back of Jaz's jacket, tears seeping into his collar. "I don't - I don't wanna die, Jaz. I don't wanna die. I'm not - I can't - why - " Why his friends, why any of them? What did they ever do? Their body hollowed out; gasp muffled beneath fabric, "Nothing - nothing makes sense, and I can't - I can't do shit -" As soon as Jaziel let go - Gabe collapsed back into the chair, water bottle crinkling beneath their hand's firm clutch; their body still shaking, breath not able to catch up. "Fuck," they repeated, again - swallowing as much air as they could before exhaling again - lifting the trembling water bottle to their lips.

He didn't mean to roll his eyes, but it was a natural response when it came to Gabriel. Ever since they were younger there was always that fire of menacing in them that left Jaz wondering what truly went on in their head. What their brain thought about on the daily, and what reason he had to being so. . . them. "You're not, but you're also befuddled and inebriated, and that's no way of behaving in a large crowd." Jaz paused, eyebrows shrinking as he watched the scene before him unfold. Unable to fully understand what brought on Gabriel's tears, but feeling the need to hold them to him. It didn't matter how big an ass he thought them to be, in that moment Jaz felt for them. Jaziel placed a hand at their neck forcing their foreheads together and Gabriel to look at him. "Gabriel-fuck" he took a breath and sighed, "Gabe. Calm down. It's alright, you'll be alright. I got you." He brought them into a hug, holding him tight so they had no way of escaping his hold. "Breath. We can't go anywhere, there's pigs all over this place and no way to get out. Drink." he said, finally allowing them the space to let go and holding out the water bottle. "Please."

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:jaziel abreu #grief tw #death mention tw #it was this gif or the one of him crying over pikachu's body<3 #i chose this one<3

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It was the only way Gabe could've gone through the rest of the night - everything was too much, it hurt just to breathe; at least the alcohol calmed their nerves somewhat - it'd be more embarrassing to have a flat out panic attack in front of everyone there, than be as drunk as they were now. Gabe snorted - almost found Jaz's words funny, "So fucking what? I'm not - causing a scene. I'm not fucking - knocking shit over, or yelling belligerently. Have you listened in onto any of these conversations? I think I saw hair-pulling, tonight - I'm far from being the fucking...worst person here. I'm coping. My friend just fucking - died, and none of us knew until it - it was too late!" Right under their noses - how'd the killers manage to fucking do it? Were they magicians, pulling murderous rabbits out of their hats? Their words betrayed them - raising in volume towards the end; emotions running a little loose. "Don't - don't bring Sion into this -" Fresh tears sprang from their eyes; they blinked them back and stood rapidly - half-stumbling as they pushed their chair away from the table. " - It's not - that's not - fucking - fuck. I need air - I need to leave. I need to go."

Leave it to Gabriel to act so child-ish in a time like this. Like someone didn't just die again. Jaziel didn't know how to express himself and he knew this, but to act this way when all he asked was for them to drink some damn water was dumb. "You're not fine. If you were fine you wouldn't be slurring your words like some trash alley hooker looker for their next meal." If they were fine, then why were they still at the bar after what had just occurred in the building, pretending like the whole place was trashed with rainbows and fumes. "I ain't going nowhere, Gabriel." he said, watching them open up the bottle and take a sip. "The last thing I'm trying to do is go home to Sion and explain to her why her uncle went to heaven cause he thought it was fun to get fucking trashed with a murderer running about." That was good right? Showed he cared?

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:jaziel abreu #drinking tw #panic attack mention tw #grief tw #murder mention tw

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Apple's approval only hyped Gabe up more; practically buzzing with excitement - their friendships meant everything to them, especially with their recent losses. They never wanted to be alone again - wanted to be busy everyday, every hour, with their loved ones surrounding them. "Hell yeah, man - it'll be fucking great. I've got a baseball bat from when I tried out for baseball in high school - I fucking, sucked, by the way. Got a concussion like, immediately. I think they were aiming for my head, though - but I got 'em back. Not with the baseball bat! That's - that's too much. I keyed their car. I think it was a fucking - mustang? A horse car, for sure." They rambled on as they walked towards the bar - nose scrunching for a moment. "Aw - fuck, it's got fucking, um - coffee liqueur in it. I don't think it's vegan - it's that and vodka and sparkling soda, like a fancy black Russian - 'cos it's got all the fizz. I was going to go for a Scooby Snack - but then that's also got cream! I mean - I like cream, just not that kind, y'know? Sucks. I'll just do like - an espresso martini, or something. Fuck, man."

"Versatile!" Apple laughed, taking in all of their words and their humor. She absolutely adored Gabe from the moment they met. From the crazy personality, to the never ending rambles that they would go on. Apple talked a lot, but she could easily stand back and let them take the wheel. "That actually sounds like an amazing coping therapy. Sign me up, I think I'm free on Thursday. And if not, then I'll just to call in a family emergency or something." She could use the relief from beating up some old car with a bat. It definitely was better than beating her fists against her mirrors. "I have not, actually. Why don't you tell me what I'm getting myself into. Hopefully it doesn't live up too much to it's menacing name."

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:apple kiraz #drinking tw

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zehraxaydin​:

“yeah it is. almost like they didn’t turn the AC on.” it was one of the reasons why she was out on the balcony.  it was cooler in a way outside than it was inside.  "feels better here outside, honestly.“ looking out at the water, a small sigh escaped her lips. she just wanted to go home. but with analu dragging her there, she told herself she would do her best to stay as long as she could. "I am too. they both deserve to be happy.” she replied. in  a town where tomorrow wasn’t even promised, some happiness for some people was nice to see.

“it’s probably - just all the people. they know a lot of people, huh? feels like half the town’s in there, partying away.” gabe hummed, already feeling a little bit better being outside; they knew the longer they spent inside, the more they’d drink to compensate for their nerves. and it’d probably be embarrassing if they got super drunk - but the night was young; maybe gabe would watch himself this time ‘round. “yeah, they do,” their hands rifled through their pockets - eventually pulling out their cigarette case - packed full with a mixture of those and a couple joints. “do you mind if i smoke? do you want one? it’d be - a bit rude, if i didn’t offer.”

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:zehra aydin #smoking mention tw #drinking mention tw #i love foreshadowing

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"really? i dunno - i think you're pretty well balanced. best of both worlds. hannah montana-esque. except maybe the acting, i guess - unless you can act too?" they were jealous of her success, when they were younger - maybe still a little envious; she could go back to that world any time she wanted - while gabe didn't know how to move forward. "shit - yeah, okay - that'd be really cool. i'd love to hear them. you want some like - background, for it? i can bring my guitar, if you want. she's still kickin'."

"yeah. that's all that really matters." she replied. if mei and levi were happy, then great. mariana wanted mei to be happy. that was the one thing she wished for. hell, that was the one thing she wished for all of her loved ones. for all of them to be happy. "i think i'm a better dancer to be honest." she replied. she loved singing too. she had even wrote a good amount of songs. but she didn't even know who to share them with. "you know, i wrote some songs a while ago. maybe you can come over when ever you're free and i can show you them?"

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:mariana rojas

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hanaxrhee​:

“well then tomorrow i’ll make up some dishes for you then.” she replied.  she knew how some places didn’t have vegan dishes. which hana didn’t get. she made sure to have vegan dishes as an option at rhee’s. “a taste tester? how about this, when ever i come up with some new dishes, you can taste test them for me.” she offered.  while most of the time she taste tested the dishes herself, having another person to help with that would make things easier. “maybe pasta with wheat noodles and a marinara sauce.” that would be a good option too.

“that sounds great!” they beamed, then - not worried for once that there’ll be another person gone tomorrow; drunken mind only focused on the future good food they’d be eating, limbs lazy as they looked at hana. “oh shit - for real? i’d fucking - love that. y’know you guys - you guys make the best japchae, right? i dunno how you do it - i’ve had so many, but yours is just right. like fucking - like goldilocks. perfect porridge. except noodles.” their words slurred together - though mostly coherent, at least for now. “oooh - spaghetti! a classic italian stable. i think my mom makes it best - what about an eggplant parm? love me some fucking eggplant.”

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:rhee hana

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"Huh?" Gabe blinked; somewhere in limbo, between drunk and high - their emotions cold and hot, and nothing and everything. Their head ached, so did their chest - maybe if he collapsed, they'd take him out of here. He could sleep it off on a hospital bed, and wake up and everything would be okay. Their eyes focused in onto her phone, took a second to register what was happening. "I feel like I'm in a fucking Saw movie. We've all got keys in our stomachs, and there's only one way to get them out." Energy next to nothing, he tuckered himself out on yelling at Jaziel - their voice oddly deadpan. "I guess bad attention is still good attention for influencers, huh?" A half-mumble - followed by an even further mumbled 'sorry'; Gabe straightened up, staring into the camera with their tired, empty eyes, "I'm actively pissing myself as we speak, and we are witnessing unspeakable horrors. Um - watch Dawn of the Dead. Great movie. Either version, really. Love Zack Snyder, though. Is that controversial?" They reached for their water bottle - still working on drinking all of them, thanks to Jaz - took a longer than necessary sip. "Sorry. You get thirsty watching all your friends die. I think I'm in shock. Can shock be delayed? Anyways - um, I'd like to say to my mom: sorry I ate your lipstick tube when I was six and had to go to urgent care. It was not cherry flavored - and, um - for the people? Check out my Bandcamp - it's Gabesmacked, but I'll probably...fucking...change the name, or something. It's kinda stupid. Is - is that all? Can we stop now?"

TIME JUMP.

"Do you think I should vlog this?" Jieun asked despite already having her phone out as she slipped into a seat beside Gabe—turning to face the camera in his direction. "How do you feel about being locked inside with an actual killer?" Eyes solely focused on the screen of her phone, tapping the center of it to ensure that they were in focus. "Are you scared? Do you have anything you want to say to the public? What if these are your last moments? Who would you want to leave a message for?" She was being insensitive, fully aware of the fact, but she couldn't seem to help herself. Doing any and everything she could to feel like this wasn't a big deal—even if it was. "And if you don't die, imagine how big your following is going to be once you make it out of here. You'll be so famous, Gabe, and probably on television thanks to me. So, go ahead, tell the people how you feel."

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:park ji eun #hospitalization mention tw #murder mention tw

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dancewithiris​:

Iris wasn’t sure if they were drunk, weird, or telling her that they were nonbinary. Either way, the little monologe made her like them more, and she was going to swap her pronouns up just to be safe. “I never went to church, my mom worked three jobs so we never had the time,” she said, with a shrug. “Honestly, if I walked into one now I would probably go up in flames because I haven’t exactly walked in a holy path. I don’t know what the 10 commandments are off the top of my head, but its safe to assume that I’ve broken all of them.” 

Gabe eased up around Iris as she spoke - it was oddly comforting to be in the presence of someone else who grew up struggling financially, “Hey! My mom worked two jobs!” They enthused, “We went occasionally - I think I was supposed to be like, drowned for Jesus when I was a baby, but my parents forgot and now I’m like, promised to Lucifer. I think that’s what that means.” A small laugh escaped them, eyebrow raising, “Isn’t one of them like - thou shall not kill? Are you confessing to murder, right here and now? Kinda - kinda touchy subject, but I respect the confession. It’s ballsy.”

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:iris anev #religion tw #murder mention tw #jst casually joking abt murder like someone isnt about to die<3

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Where did Jaz get off, suddenly caring about them? Gabe scoffed down at their cracked phone screen, at the messages now delivering green - typical shit. All their life - Jaz has barely paid mind to Gabe, could barely spare him a glance - and now what, he cared? More like annoyed at their existence, like them drinking had any effect on him. They sat there - huffing and puffing until Jaz pulled up. "Drink," Gabe mocked - glancing up at their step-brother with an uncharacteristic contempt, "Three fucking bottles? That's just overkill, dude - I'm fine!" Their inflection said otherwise, sniffling back the phlegm that stuck in their throat - news of Lucia's death still fresh on their mind. After a moment - they folded and complied, opening one of the bottles. "I'm just thirsty," Gabe said, defensive, before taking a sip. "I'm - fine, go fucking - fuck off."

Location: The Pearl Hotel Ballroom Closed Starter: @mcrtyrdoms

Jaziel was fuming. Of all the things that he needed to worry about, Gabriel shouldn't have been one of them. They're a grown adult! A whole other human being who should be capable of handling themselves at a gathering, but noooooooo. That wasn't going to be it. Hell no. Why would it? Jaziel approached the other staring daggers at them before ordering three bottles of water. "Drink." He turned once the bottles had been placed before them.

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:jaziel abreu #drinking tw #this is fun!

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hanaxrhee​:

“if they don’t, we can alway go over to rhee’s and cook up some dishes for you.” she offered. she knew just a salad wasn’t enough food. and she didn’t mind leaving for a littlt bit to cook up some vegan dishes for him. it was the least she could do. plus it meant she would be able to get away for a little bit. “i’m hoping they at least have pasta. and maybe some garlic bread or cheese bread as well.” something simple like that.

“naw - s’okay,” gabe insisted, waving their hands, “i don’t wanna leave their party - i don’t wanna be ruuude. and everyone’s here! not to say i don’t love your cooking - i do! rhee’s is the best, i’d sell my soul just to be a professional rhee’s food test taster. that’s hard to say in a row - food test taster. tood fest fester. ah fuck -” they shook their head - a bad idea, on all counts, pressing their face against their open palms; trying to keep balance against the table. “pasta would be good! i’m sure - they’ll have like, options - ‘cos they’re richie mc’rich pants. can’t just have like - meats. plus - levi’s super considerate, he wouldn’t be like, let’s have only meats. d’you know when the buffet opens?”

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:rhee hana #drinking tw #jst bc gabe's drunk<3

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They're not fully convinced - just judging by Jake's tone, but smiles wide anyways, "That's good, then! I know tensions are high and everything -" and the world fucking sucks, right now, " - but we have to keep on being a community, y'know? That's - it's important. We can't isolate ourselves from one another." It's not worth it to pry, even if Gabe really wants to - they've never been on great terms with Jake, just semi-friendly faces; they just want to talk to Toby's best friend and pretend that it'll heal their emotional wounds. "I just hope - he's happy, wherever he is now." They look down at their hands, picking at dead skin and nail polish, before looking back up with another smile. "I'm sure she will - it'll just take time, y'know? She's strong. She'll make it through this - all of us will." Gabe clears their throat - figures a change of subject would be nice, "Did - did you get them anything? Levi and Mei, I mean."

Jake has never been a big talker, despite how easily he tends to get along with people, albeit the bruises on his face. His fight with Dominic is unexpected, mainly because he's the last person to let his temper get the best of him. But everyone had a breaking point. "No worries. Uh, yeah, something like that," Jake adds, even though they definitely haven't sorted everything out, and considering what the other had said, and Jake's own words that night, he doubted it was something that would happen anytime soon. At the mention of their common connection, Jake nods. "Yeah, me too," he lets out with a sigh, thinking how even the memory of Toby still burned at his heart. "Sarah's holding up. She lost a lot, but… hopefully one day she'll feel better," Jake answers, ignoring the part about himself.

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:jacob oh #grief implied tw #death implied tw

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"Mangos are fucking good! Versatile, too - my dad makes a mean chutney with them, like near god-like. Gordon Ramsey's got fucking - nothing on him. Or Bobby Flay - fuck Bobby Flay. It's kinda ironic to not like apples, though, 'cos like - you're Apple. Apple isn't apples for apples." Gabe giggled at the last sentence, their brief stunt of seriousness gone within moments. "Feel 'em, man. S'okay - I've been like, really deeply repressing everything, too. We should beat up a junk car! They bring them to the yard every fucking, um - Thursday, I think. From the mechanics. We should go beat one of 'em up, 'cos they're just gonna get all crushed up anyways. Let out all the feels." Without waiting further, Gabe steered Apple towards the open bar, an extra, drunken pep in their step. "Have you ever had a mind eraser?"

Apple hollered at his explanation -or was it a description? Leave it to Gabe to say some shit like this she though as she laughed. "I'm not the biggest fan of apple's, I think that mangos are much more enjoyable." It became hard not to look at them as they spoke. Their words being those that she's said so often to so many, but it wasn't her dilemma honestly. "I couldn't have said those words better myself. And here I thought I was the shrink," she joked to lighten the thoughts in her head before continuing, "My problem is not understanding that everything will be alright, Gabe. It's the constant feeling of knowing everything will be okay with time, when I just want to feel my emotions without letting go." Being who she was made it difficult for her to mourn in peace. Always too logical to cry for her best friends death when her mind was bugging her to get up and do things each day that she just didn't want to. Apple felt like she should hurt more and think less. That's what everyone else did, so why should she be exempt? Bianca was everything to her. Had been. "Yeah, let's. Although, I'm not exactly sure you need any more."

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:apple kiraz #drinking tw

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their attempt to stand still hadn't lasted for long, finding themself starting to sway along with the distant music - an attempt to soothe their nerves, hands finding a fraying hem to pick at and slowly unravel - they wouldn't be able to return the jacket in that condition, anyways. "that's what matters most tonight, though, right? that they're happy, and having like - fun. enjoying their night and future and whatever. i think the rest of us can tough it out for the evening." gabe tried to keep positive, even if the pit in their stomach worsened in waves of doubt. "that's good! you were always a really good singer. i've been - i mean, i've been good. i'm apprenticing at deadly inks, i might get back into guitar. i'm in an intense bidding war on ebay, actually, for this old epiphone sg g-400 - it's fucking beautiful, man. i want to be buried with that guitar."

glass in hand, mariana leaned against the wall. it didn't feel right to her to be here. to be having fun. or well trying to. it was hard to even be happy after the week that had just happened. from losing so many people within a short amount of time. hearing a voice, mariana snapped out of her thoughts before looking to see who it was. seeing it was gabe, she tried to smile. "hey." she replied. how long had it been since they had last spoke? a few years maybe? "yeah. happy day. at least for mei and levi." and she was happy for them. "i've been okay. and i am. not at the moment though. how've you been?"

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:mariana rojas

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"Oh...yeah," It made sense, what Jieun said - the colors they wore were muted, and if they took a moment to look around - everyone else wore much brighter colors; purpley lilacs and apple reds and light blues. "I like red." They offered - as if that tidbit of information was useful in the slightest, trying to not sound deflated; they hadn't really cared about being in the right season, but it only served as another reminder that Gabe was out of their league, here. The lavish hotel, the designer clothes - none of that was within their reach, and they highly doubted that it ever would be. Most of the time they were just fine with that, liked feeling individualistic and liked the lifestyle they led; but when it came to this - being surrounded by the rich (or well, richer than Gabe - not a hard feat)... they offered Jieun a sheepish grin, "Hope I'm a fall person - I was born in October, I feel like it'd be sort of a sham if I wasn't, y'know? If I took off the jacket, would it help? I could dress up that plant over there. It can be Colonel Mustard instead." It took them a moment to shimmy off the jacket - a little tight around the shoulders, a little short in the wrists. "Viktor?" They made a slight face - not quite a cringe, not quite a scowl - eyes scanning the crowd but not finding the other. "That - makes sense for them, I think. But I'll take the compliment! I feel more - like I'm wearing my dad's clothes, than anything. Thanks, Jieun." Gabe smiled at her, fully - folding their jacket over their arm.

"The colors would've been great in fall, but it's summer. If you want to stand out for the right reasons, you should be reaching for more.. out there colors. Red, orange, yellow.. you get it. But not the pastels." Because, to her, those were mostly reserved for the springtime. Not that she would actually expect them to get it because, just like what was said, their closet was filled with nothing but basic colors. The ones she'd wear when she'd want brighter colors to stand out. "You'd definitely be a fall person and I'm sure you shine a lot better in those three months. At least then, you don't have that summer tan and the colors would look a lot better on you. You're washing out the seasonal glow by wearing all those colors together," but then again, they probably wouldn't even know what she was talking about. Can't really expect anything more from someone who picked the Treasure Trove as their designated shopping place for cocktail attire. "Yeah, if you're doing it right," and judging by the way she looked them up and down, she didn't think they did. "Viktor. They look like they're getting ready for a Siren's performance and not attending an engagement party." Shrugging her shoulders as her lips curled up into a sweet-looking smile, "You look better than him, so you should be proud of yourself."

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:park ji eun

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dancewithiris​:

Iris couldn’t help but give a small laugh. “Maybe that’s because you’re a guy and you don’t get it. There’s no such thing as pregnant chic,” she added, rolling her eyes. When he said they were his friends it was obvious that he wasn’t getting the point and that made her laugh. “I mean, I’m not about judging the child, technically I’m also a bastard if that is what that means,” she said, with a shrug. “No big deal, but don’t act like they aren’t rushing this for some reason.” 

“I’m more like the vague, abstract concept of a guy. Like one of those paintings and it’s just like, strokes of paint and some random shapes and shit. Sometimes - and I mean like, sometimes, I’m just a little guy. But only if I’m about to get punched. Gotta guilt ‘em beforehand, y’know?” Gabe rambled on, picking at their already-chipped nail polish, “Sure there is. There’s chic everything.” They nodded their head in some sort of finality - like that was the truth Gabe was rolling with, whether or not it was just delusional. “Well,” they almost squeaked, “No - you’re right, probably. I mean - his family’s really religious. I think he grew up like, marriage before pregnancy. This probably feels - right, maybe? I dunno. I haven’t gone to church since like, my nonna passed.”

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:iris anev #death mention tw

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they gasp - loud and scandalized, hands covering their mouth instantly as they muffle-shouted, "i knew my stepdad was a cuck! oh my god - oh my god," their face twists into a variety of emotions; mostly disgust at the thought of their parents'... intimate life, together, "what if i don't have twenty bucks? i can get you, uh - i have this little fancy cigarette case but it's all joints- you can have it." they'd gotten it at the thrift - all metal, real nice - a damn shame to lose, but inebriated gabe knows no better. "are you m3gan? from the um - scary movie, with the big doll that's like, real, but not?"

it's not something that's unfamiliar to her. in fact, there hardly goes a month that she isn't questioned on if she's that one girl from somewhere or the girl from somewhere else. "actually, i was the girl who left your parents house night -- after i was with your mother. y'hackin' into her ring camera, now?" only jokes. "nah. but i'll give you ten bucks if you can guess where you know me from correctly. and you give me twenty after five tries if not." the least fair trade in all of existence, she's down to try and see if it'll work.

#––– ❛ replies 【 the sound of the waves collide. 】 #c:darla dueñas #drugs implied tw