mateotorrezjr

[mateotorrezjr]

clockwork angel → cassandra clare

i fully reserve the right to change the star rating when i'm less in my feelings about how this book made me feel while reading it.

my major complaint here is really just that i feel like some of the content didn't really adhere to the world built in the first half of the tmi books, at times information here just felt flat out contradictory. sure there's over a century dividing the evens of this book from tmi, but that still never quite felt like reason enough for some of the information to be so wildly varied.

i also didn't quite appreciate getting trust straight into the action of the story this much around. if only because i don't really think that any satisfying explanation was given for what tessa is exactly. while her abilities seem to have some sort of rules, at the end of the book those rules seemed to be thrown aside [ the possibility of me missing the part where the rules were followed is there, i just think the rules totally changed for the third act battle climax ]. all in all, tessa played into everything that i disliked about this book.

i also wasn't the biggest fan of how addiction was handled here. i think that it stemmed from a real place and cassandra clare isn't the first storyteller to introduce addiction in this way, spencer reid on criminal minds had a very similar arc. however, there was something about it here that just rubbe3d me the wrong way. it's entirely possible that by the time this element was introduced i was already so annoyed that anything more would have only bothered me that much more.

lastly, i wanted to talk about the mundane servants employed by the london institute. i thought that they were entirely unnecessary. i understand that this story is set in victorian-era london, but there was something about their employment i didn't like. particularly thomas, as it was noted that he had no choice of whether he wanted to work there and neither would any future children. that's literal slavery and it was just discussed so casually as if it were nothing. sophie and agatha also add nothing to the plot. the fact that there were three mundanes with the sight made me wonder why everyone was so shook about it in the tmi books when meeting clary for the first time. that just struck me as it being far more common than i had been led to believe.

to end things on a positive note, i would die for jessamine lovelace. she's easily engineered to be the kind of character that i would stan, but i don't care. i was so upset that she didn't get to have as much to do, but still. i also am happy that we at least got the one action piece with jessamine because it was easily the best written and choreographed piece in the book.

#clockwork angel #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

city of glass → cassandra clare

um, i have no idea what i was thinking the last time i read this, because this definitely isn't a one star book. maybe i've grown as a person, is this what character development is like?

honestly, though i think it was because this book spends the bulk of its runtime trying to justify clary/jace's incestuous thoughts and feelings for one another. it's hardly challenged on the page and the last third of the book has them embracing those feelings when they think that they could die. i also feel that the book takes a hypocritical stance in relation to the incestuous themes presented, which i think are plain and obvious if you've read the book, i'm just too lazy to give out a spoiler warning.

the saving grace of this book was easily simon, who was back to being less creepy. i don't know what that detour in city of ashes was about, but i was happy to have my boy back to normal. i also really loved aline penhallow. she wasn't around a lot, but i loved the bits that we did get to see.

once again there was almost always something happening in this book, and again i think those character moments were sacrificed. there were several sort of major development that happened between characters that all happen off screen and then appear later in the page that just feels like this particular arc was rushed. i respect that since this book was published the series has expanded and i'm sure these problems have been remedied, but reading this i felt that the reader was asked to fill in a lot of holes with their personal headcanons or love of a character and i didn't really appreciate that.

at the end of the day though i do really appreciate the enjoyment i got from this first half of the series, i think that these books work really well as a set and i guess that's what counts.

#city of glass #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

running with lions → julian winters

full disclaimer, i don't think that this was really the best time in my life to have read this book, and even with that, i think that it's really the sort of book that i was ever going to click with.

i say that because this book is set at a summer soccer camp, and i am not an athletic gay. i could probably sorta follow along watching a soccer game, i understand the basics of the game. i know absolutely nothing about positions or jargon and i felt that that's really what a lot of this story was? i don't think that there was really a lot of growth in terms of the characters as people? sebastian felt like the same character he was at the beginning, which is fine. the timeline of the book is rather condensed, but even then i don't really feel like there was a lot of resolution in terms of him figuring out his future? he was just suddenly okay with things being slightly unclear for him?

the romance in this book was really what killed it. honestly, it's what's meant to carry the story. i think that sebastian's feelings were well explored since we experienced the book from his persepctive. emir though was a character that i never really connected with. he was meant to be of british-pakistani descent, and as a character that had apparently spent a lot of his life being raised in the uk, to the point he had an accent and used a lot of their colloquialisms, it never quite rang as genuine to me? emir was standoffish and isolating the entire novel. even in the moments that were meant to be him opening up to sebastian i never quite felt like he was actually opening up. like i said, it never felt real to me. it felt like an affectation and since i never connected with him it never felt believable that sebastian connected.

except for the fact that they used to be friends before the events of this book.

that was another issue i had. this didn't really feel like a complete story. it sorta felt like a dragged out sequence from what could have been a longer book. we spent a lot of time sorta doing the same thing and not really progressing. around the entry into the third act, we learn that emir is there to try and make his dad proud, but his dad is never a character we meet and we never spend any time with him ever. it seemed as though almost every character was undercut by the decision to stay at the soccer camp as long we did.

at the end of the day, i think that if i had been younger reading this, or more knowledgable about soccer, in general, this story might have resonated with me more. sadly neither of those two things are true, and so this just turned out to be an okay read for me. it's a book that i would recommend, especially for people in the more ideal ya demographic, i think that they will get more out of it than i did.

#running with lions #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo → taylor jenkins reid

i just want to preface this review with the fact that this book made me feel things that no other book ever has. i don't think i've ever had as immediate a reaction as i did to reading this book. i feel like my updates have made my distaste for this book pretty evident, but in case it wasn't i'm going to walk through all the things i hated about this book one final time before i try and put as much space between me and this work of fiction as humanly possible.

i knew going into the book that evelyn hugo was a latinx character, it wasn't until i started reading though that i discovered our other narrator, monique, was also a woman of color. [ don't call her black though, she's biracial. ] and almost immediately i was uncomfortable with this ide. that said i carried on thinking that i was probably just stretching, reaching for things that weren't there. that said i think that the narrative utterly fails at the nuance necessary to tell the story of a cuban-american finding success in the 50s. utterly fails to depict the nuance in the way that someone like evelyn would have to navigate the world, or how her racial identity would have had an impact on most of the things she experienced in life. it's really only brought up at the beginning when she's initially denied roles and evelyn immediately pivots into this racially ambiguous/spicy white category that she's happy with becuase it ensures her success. that doesn't stop her from later bing mad that her maid doesn't know she's cuban even though she's actively tried to supress that side of her for literally decades. i won't even get into how the narrative makes evelyn retiring to spain to make tortillas her reconnecting with her cuban roots or how monique actively distances heself from blackness while never questioning the impact that being raised by a single white mother following the death of her black father might have any role in that. you really mean to tell me that she has memories of her father but not his family? that the first black person she met was a girl in elementary school? okay. sidenote evelyn just randomly dropping that she supported civil rights and mlk jr towards the end of the book felt totally out of place and while not a big deal that part of the book felt very disconnected from what else was going on.

I didn't feel attached to any of the characters really, let alone any of the seven husbands. i have ones i thought were more interesting, but that's only because so did tjr and they were the ones given more time on the page. none of the characters that appear in the novel though are nearly as developed as evelyn hugo, something that i think makes it easier for a reader to be drawn to. there is literally no one else. no one is given the time or energy, even the major players in her life. i didn't think that the love story between evelyn and the person that would be the lover her life was all that compelling if anything i thought that that person was actually lowkey terrible and the romance they shared was almost certainly nothing to write home about.

there are a number of deaths in this book, and again, didn't care about any of them.

at the end of the day though i did enjoy the voice of evelyn hugo, the character to be clear. though the most revolutionary thing about her is being a bisexual character in their 70s, there's just something about characters like evelyn that i will always support and that's no different here. again though it helps that evelyn is easily the only character crafted with any kind of depth.

i can't in good faith recommend that anyone read this book. i got very little enjoyment, but also there is nothing to gain? i realize and appreciate that my thoughts are in the minority here and i in no way feel like my opinion will ever be the one most agree with. if you do decide to pick this up i hope that you are able to enjoy it in ways i couldn't.

also just a warning but this book details incestuous thoughts of child sexual assault, actual child sexual assault/pedophilia, and abuse in general [ definitely physical, emotional up for discussion i'd say ] so just know that if you want to pick this up.

#the seven husbands of evelyn hugo #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

mini discussion

city of ashes

city of ashes → cassandra clare

i didn't appreciate everything about this book, but i know that i enjoyed it far more this read through than i did any other time i tried getting through this. i honestly don't have a whole lot to add, a lot of things happen in this book in pretty rapid succession, but just about none of it feels rushed which was a little surprising? i do wish that we could have really spent more of this book exploring character dynamics, or even just characters because i felt that a lot was sacrificed in that area to keep the pace of the plot going forward and that meant that a lot of the supporting cast got paid absolute dust.

#city of ashes #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

mini discussions

china rich girlfriend + rich people problems

china rich girlfriend → kevin kwan

i don't think i have a lot to say about this. i stand by my feeling that this doesn't really feel like a sequel to anything, the book doesn't really build toward anything it's more of an exploration of some of the characters we met in the first installment. i don't think the fact that it doesn't build toward anything is necessarily a bad thing. there were some elements toward the end of the book that i wasn't the biggest fan of, they just kind of felt like they existed for the drama that i didn't need. if anyone did have a significant arc in this book it was my girl astrid, who is still the person i aspire to be when i grow up. she really was the star of this for me, though that's not to say that rachel and nick weren't also nice to be around. it felt cozy being back here, sort of a pleasant surprise to get to be with these characters again.

i do think that there is a very accurate depiction of domestic violence and abuse that can take place in a marriage without things ever getting physical. i wasn't really expecting that, and there was a scene toward the end of the book that really put a spotlight on that. so just know that going into this i guess?

as i said, i don't have a lot of deep thoughts, i liked getting to be back here, i liked getting to go on this journey with familiar faces and as long as you aren't expecting something more than a good time then i think you'll also enjoy this.

rich people problems → kevin kwan

this is easily the entry in the series that i care about the least. for half of the book, it feels like we're building to something that the second half doesn't really deliver on i guess. or at least the second half wasn't anywhere as satisfying. there was just something off. i compared the previous book to tuning in to watch a season of a show you love and this one feels like that rough patch all shows have and you just push through it because you love the characters.

#china rich girlfriend #rich people problems #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

somewhere only we know → maureen goo

for the beginning act of this, i was really enjoying myself. i thought that the set up was solid, i thought that the characterization was solid. it was only once the book started going that i found myself getting a little bored. i think for people that go into this wanting to hit certain beats they'll get far more out of this than i did, but i didn't really feel like there was anything here to set this story apart from the other generic contemporaries with similar plots. i did enjoy the k-pop angle, though i don't really know if it added anything other than a different location. i can see how that might come off as me dismissing the representation aspect, and that honestly isn't my intention. obviously for people that can connect with that representation and feel seen in a story like this, then far be it from me to try and take that away from them. it's just that that angle didn't really impact me, and so i was just left with an international setting and two characters i only sort of cared about. part of me does wish that we didn't bounce between perspectives as the book is a typical contemporary length in terms of page count and so while they are together for the bulk of the book i don't really feel like any insight was gained bouncing between them because i don't feel like there was a lot of differentiation in their thought processes. at the end of the day though i don't think that time crunch contemporaries are really my thing. i think that there needs to be something special about the story for it to work as a book, and there wasn't that something extra here. i do think that this would be a great movie, one i would watch on repeat. there's nothing inherently wrong with the writing, i think i just wanted a little something more, and for those in search of a solid contemporary, i would recommend picking this one up.

#somewhere only we know #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

permanent record → mary h.k. choi

i was lucky enough to receive an arc of this at yallwest, the thoughts expressed in the following discussion though are completely mine.

before we get into specifics, this was one of my most anticipated reads. if i’m being honest i’m still looking forward to september when i can get my hands on a finished copy of this. i also went into this book pretty blind. after finishing emergency contact earlier this year i was pretty confident that i’d want to pick up anything other stories mary h.k. choi decided to write and spoiler, i’m just as content after having finished this as i was after having finished choi’s debut.

i also want to say that i am almost certainly biased in favor of enjoying the way in which choi tells stories, and while there are aspects i’ll discuss in a more negative light toward the end of this discussion on the whole even the aspects that some readers might take issue with, they weren’t as big a deal with me. i also don’t believe that it’s not my place as a person who talks about books to do so in an objective way or to discuss this book as though it exists in a vacuum. as i discuss my thoughts here they are inherently subjective and i can only talk about the book in the way that i experienced it through a singular lens. hopefully, i’ll be able to articulate my thoughts to clearly convey that lens and how my lens and my experiences and what i got out of the book can assist someone else assessing whether this content could be for them.

i don’t really feel it’s my place to discuss pablo being korean + pakistani or the son of a not so strict muslim, nor is it my place to talk about how leanna’s being mexican is handled in the book. i don’t think anything in terms of their diverse heritage is written in any kind of problematic way, i think that both identities and the respective characters relationship with that identity is something that was explored in a really thoughtful way in the novel. with pablo, in particular, i felt that there were several moments where choi would callback to very specific feelings that he had where pablo would have these introspective reflective moments that were really a joy to read. i think that there were a number of lines in the book that dealt with the topic of identity and racism that really made me pause and chew on that thought for a moment. i really appreciated getting to have that sort of relationship with the text, specifically on that topic. i don’t think that the goal of any of these moments or scenes was characters moving to accept the intersection of their identities, rather than simply acknowledging how those intersections have impacted them as people and formed all aspects of their personality. i feel like the way i described and interpreted those moments makes it sound technical or detached, but it really resonated with me on a very fundamental level. the moments carried with them an honesty that i found to be really refreshing. because as i said they weren’t so much written as the characters struggling with what it meant to be x identity and more understanding how said identity has shaped them as people and continues to impact their lives. honestly not sure if that made anything more clear there, but i just really liked that aspect of the book.

i guess i want to start this discussion off with pablo rind, that just seems the most logical place to root this. i was initially surprised that the entire narrative was told from his perspective. or at least i was surprised after having skimmed the summary. i don’t think that the narrative falters because we only get pab’s perspective it was just something i wasn’t expecting. that said, being in pablo’s head was easily my favorite thing about this book. much like i’ve already talked about his introspective thoughts on his identity, i was in love with how pablo saw the world and thought about it. i don’t know if i would say that i agree with all of pablo’s observations, i would say that i was thoroughly entertained by them. while pablo is technically younger than i am, i felt that pablo was easily someone i could know. his friend group to a lesser extent also felt like people i could know. i appreciated the fact that pablo had a complicated relationship with his parents and family, but they were still an integral part of the book. if i’m being honest i’m really happy that this seems to be a trend with choi’s work so far. there’s even a sequence toward the last third of the book that involves pablo that is sort of a homecoming, it’s not really the correct phrasing but the best i can do while still remaining vague enough to not spoil anything that i thought was really fantastic. there’s something about the way choi juxtaposes his initial joy in this homecoming as his first instinctive thought against the realization that the childhood expectations he had were sort of silly that resonated with me on a very real level. it felt very grounded in a reality that allowed the reader to really connect with pablo in that moment.

i think that a lot of what i loved about pablo in particular, and again something that was a surprise, was how little the romance plays into this contemporary. i don’t mean to imply that the romance isn’t, i think that pablo allows this romance to be the thing that distracts him from everything else. almost in an “if i can keep this thing then the fact that all the other shit in my life that’s currently falling apart will work out” kind of way, that while anxiety-inducing in a way that i’ve never experienced before; was also just something that again grounded the novel. i’m very lucky in that i don’t have a crushing amount of student loan debt from my decision to drop out after one semester, so i couldn’t relate to that aspect of his journey, at least on a personal level, i was able to empathize with it. i think that a lot of the financial binds that pablo finds himself in are not only very real but provided something i don’t think gets a lot of page time in contemporary novels with this. the struggle with paying for college is something that a lot of american’s at least have to struggle with, and including that in the realistic way i thought was really a nice thing to do. even if only because when pablo was explaining the situation that landed him in the financial situation he was in gave me the big short vibes [ a film that has nothing to do with twenty-somethings falling in love, but their way of explaining complicated concepts relating to the lead up to the great recession was easily some of the best cinema ever made ] and i was already a sucker for pablo’s thoughts and when random bits of foundational material can be incorporated into the narrative in an organic way that was at least entertaining af to this human.

more than anything though the fact that pablo wasn’t really sure what it was that he wanted to do with his life was by far the most relatable. while i couldn’t relate to the full pressure of being financially in debt to the extent he was, can’t relate to bill collectors hounding me, but the sense of “i have plan” without actually moving forward was the biggest mood™. there was something anxiety-inducing about continuously reading about pablo continuously ignoring those particular responsibilities, but i think that was really a credit to choi’s writing. i was genuinely concerned about pablo. just as i was about his family when around halfway through the book there’s an emergency. obviously, not all of the characters were given an equitable amount of page time, but i felt that the page time we got with them was spent crafting believable and easily relatable.

i guess this is the part of the discussion where i guess we can turn to things that i didn’t quite vibe with. i’ll be honest, i don’t expect this portion to be any less ramble-y than the first half of this was, but i also am still unsure if these are actual flaws of the novel. i’ll do my best to remain spoiler free and i’ll do my best to explain the context of the lens through which i experienced this, and i fully accept the fact that i might not have interpreted this as was intended, but i don’t think that i’ve reached too far in terms of me not appreciating these aspects.

first, and what i think is the briefest conversation is some of the interactions between pablo and his friend group was just odd. maybe i’m more like pab’s mom [ the scene where he talks about her being the least sentimental person really struck a chord with me ], but there were moments that i thought really should have been called out. to be fair they were, and again, pablo’s position in life is different than my own circumstances and so expecting him to react to wyn’s obama birther comment in a way that i would have is unfair to all parties. the part that really left me speechless though had more to do with the cultural insensitivity of his friend getting his first big break on a law and order type procedural focused more on federal agents in nyc where he’d be playing a terrorist character with a generic middle eastern sounding name that fairly rubbed pablo the wrong way. this notion that pablo was somehow being a shitty friend for not being happy for this break or even that pablo had sorta ghosted the friend group to spend time with leanna at this point in time was wild to me. sure the girlfriend stuff is pretty valid, but the idea that a person should be happy that their friend is going to go on national television and play a stereotype about my culture, that seems to be outside the realm of what i would consider being actual friend behavior. the scene later with them making up and mending bridges and moving past that was nice because again we got to have a moment with pablo being introspective and his friend did raise a lot of valid points to all of the things going on in pablo’s life that he wasn’t dealing with. all of that i thought was really well handled. again, it’s hard for me to really label it a flaw, especially given i feel like it could have been written with the intent for the reader to stand with pab in that particular instance, but i remember just having a really getting rubbed the wrong way by the part of the conversation that dealt with this friend playing the terrorist on the racist television show.

now we get to the hard part of this discussion, the part of the book that honestly made me the most conflicted. the romance between our two leads. seeing as i didn’t talk at length about the stuff i liked about that particular aspect at length before i will do so now. i was a big fan of their initial meeting. as far as meet-cutes go this was solid, and i was really on board with their dynamic from the jump. i will say though that i’m a sucker for any dynamic where both parties are clever, i’m a sucker for a snappy one-liner when two characters teeter on the edge of being mean to each other i’m destined to fall for them. i think that’s sort of the appeal in a contemporary with romance elements, you want those conversations where both parties are on the top of their game, where there isn’t that missing beat or that thing you wish you could take back. the dialogue is just heightened enough to where you can believe that people would say these things but still at a level where it can come off as aspirational. if that at all makes any sense.

i even thought that the duo was opposite enough to make it work. sure the famous entity going matched with someone who leads a more ordinary person isn’t the most unique idea under the sun, but even then i think that the setup worked well enough. there were still aspects, particularly the interim between the first and second bodega visits that could tug on a reader’s suspension of disbelief, but i don’t think that it’s anything that ruins the novel. again, we’re operating in a heightened space that is still trying to come across as realistic, and a minor tug isn’t going to be the thing that makes me lose it. i’d need a few more instances and thankfully none popped up.

i want to revisit the part of the discussion where i talked about this being told solely from pablo’s perspective. i didn’t really start to think this was an issue until the end of the novel where i felt things started to come together almost too neatly? i started to get this sense that it was almost like through his time with leanna that pablo was able to see the things in his life that he wasn’t doing, the steps he should be taking to better himself. i’m hesitant to really call leanna a plot device because i do think that it’s always been clear that the two of them weren’t exactly the best of matches for one another. again, i think that there were a lot of moments in the novel where pablo was allowed to have introspective moments and it was established that he was the type of person that allowed himself to be distracted or chased after thing for the chase and that relationship with leanna could easily be one of those instances, so discussing it in this way is hard for me to do. taken as a whole i don’t think that the novel is poorly written, especially in regards to their relationship. i don’t really think that there were any moments where leanna outwardly tried to change pab or show him how his life could be better, which is part of why i stop short of calling her a plot device. i do think on some level even before the final third of the book pab knew and understood what the endgame would be. i actually liked what the endgame happened to be. i’m a big fan of the trend in contemporaries not to give in to the expected ending, or at least the ending that would break the internal logic of the book. i think it’d be easy to call the ending a disappointment, but i appreciated that the ending like so much else int he narrative was honest in a raw way that allowed the reader to connect to it.

before i transition into my closing thoughts, i do want to say that there is a part in the book, the final third where there is a discussion of actions that i thought were just grossly manipulative of leanna as a minor. i wasn’t expecting it, i don’t think that it detracts from the narrative in any way. i just think that i think that it implies a more complex dynamic between leanna and a side character that i know i would have appreciated having explored with leanna’s perspective. that also wasn’t the story that choi wanted to tell, and i think that it’s always a sign of a good story when there are threads that you want to keep pulling, so it’s not a knock in this case i guess. if it wasn’t clear by this point that i have a lot of contradictory thoughts, particularly in what are the “weaker” points of the novel, then i don’t know what to say to you. just know that there’s about a paragraph of text in the last third of the book that could be considered grooming behavior. around the middle-ish, just before the third act, there’s a conversation centering around assault / unwanted touching. again, it’s nothing graphic, it’s two pages of a conversation, but it is there. i think both instances were well handled and well written. just know.

at the end of the day, this is one of my favorite books i’ve ever read, period. i have never felt more connected to the main character than i did reading pablo. i was constantly torn between wanting to read the book as slowly as possible as to savor every moment i’d get to spend with pablo for the first time and reading through the novel as quickly as possible to continue the experience i was having. this book constantly had me pausing to chew on a sentence, whether it was because of the construction or the content, and i’ve honestly never felt this engaged while reading something. choi crafted something in these 400+ pages that were truly magical and one of a kind. i will forever be jealous of those that get to come to this story for the first time and is a book that i know i will return to time and time again. not only to check back in on pab but because of the narrative; while discussing issues that are relevant today, are also issues that i think are timeless and welcome a revisit. someday things might fall into place for me the way that they did for pablo, i’ll have to work on that. until then though i’m grateful to have had this experience at this point in my life. i hope that all future readers of this are able to enjoy this book at least a fraction of the amount that i did if not more so.

#permanent record #mary h.k. choi #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

keep this to yourself → tom ryan

i received an earc from the publisher in exchange for a review, all thoughts expressed are my own.

putting my thoughts on this book into words is something that i'm still finding really hard to do. in short, though, it was easily one of the most addicting books that i've read this year and i absolutely loved the journey and the end product quite a bit.

doris is easily one of my new favorite characters of all time, the moments where we got to spend quality time with her were easily some of the highlights of the book. mac though i felt was also a really solid character, especially when used as the character we experience the story with. i was never really annoyed by any of his actions, despite how reckless they seemed to be at times. i also was just a big fan of how mac's love life was handled and balanced with his investigation into the catalog killer. that integration is always what i want from a story and i think that it workes really well as a b level plot without me ever feeling like it was functioning as a distraction.

my only real gripe is with the final quarter of the book, and even then it's not really a major complaint. i will say that i didn't see it coming, and while i felt that the explanation is given didn't fully feel like a cop out i don't know if it was all that satisfying? i'm still struggling with it and it's still something that i'm debating with myself, so in that regard, i'm happy that it's the ending we got. if nothing else actually getting to that point was one hell of a ride, full on a roller coaster of emotion so for that least i'm really happy it's the ending we got.

#keep this to yourself #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

mini discussions

sailor moon eternal editions volumes 3 + 4 and bloom

sailor moon eternal edition volume 3 →  naoko takeuchi

i don't know how i forgot to add this and honestly it was so long ago i don't remember much. i think this was one of the weaker volumes i read this year, but i will forever appreciate these characters. a lot of this really just set up for the next volume.

sailor moon eternal edition volume 4 → naoko takeuchi

wasn’t a fan of the two bits at the end, but i also understand that at that point the arc of the volume was over and so i cant really be mad at the filler. that said this volume fucked me all the way up, so shoutout to that.

bloom → kevin panetta

i wasn't a fan of the romance in this book. wasn't a fan of the racial ambiguity. it was cute for what it was. maybe I was expecting too much. it's not the worst thing I've ever read, but honestly, i wasn't really motivated to talk about this book when I finished reading it and so little of this has stayed with me in the month or so since i finished that i don't really have much to say. i think that had i read this a couple of years ago i might have connected with it more. the art was stunning. i'm not usually a fan of monochromatic graphic novels like this one, partially because of the racial ambiguity situation, o brushed against earlier. but i didn't mind the blue hues so much, and just the art style, in general, was a pleasure to experience.

#sailor moon #bloom #book review #graphic novel

[mateotorrezjr]

mini discussions

the lost sisters + fence vol. 2, and lethal white

the lost sisters → holly black

let me just say that if you go into this novella already not fucking with taryn, then you're going to leave this novella not really accepting any of the explanations that she offers for her actions in this book. that said, taryn is easily my favorite character in the series, and so having this novella really made me happy, but not for the reasons that i feel are probably understandable?

i don't think that this book did anything to really highlight taryn's motivation. i understand how silly that sounds since that's really the whole focus of the book, but what i mean to say is that as someone that already appreciates her as a character for me it was easy to pull these motivations of her character when i was reading the cruel prince. for that that reason i don't think that this novella is honestly all that necessary. further, i don't think it really paints taryn as a sympathetic figure for people who read the cruel prince or the wicked king and don't like her? the nature of her character and who she is allows for her explanations to read a lot like excuses or justifications that are likely to annoy the reader.

i didn't have that issue, and so for me it was a lovely time spent exploring the most nuanced and layered character in the series.

fence vol. 2 → c.s. pacat

honestly this volume was serviceable, and as far as a continuation is concerned it was nice. not a lot worth discussing actually happens here, again i feel like the real standout of this series is the art, which i find just absolutely stunning. there was some subtle, yet very interesting character moments, particularly with aiden that i was really drawn to? also i feel like their coach is another standout that i've really appreciated. our two leads continue to be a bit of a weak spot as far as i'm concerned. i'm not really interested in nicholas a character or his situation with seiji... particularly after the moments with aiden and harvard, i think that their dynamic is something i want to see more of as it's more layred and nuanced. there's nothing here though that's grievously bad, and it was a light quick read.

lethal white → robert galbraith

this book was a complete slog to get through.

now that i've gotten that out of the way i do think that there's a lot we can talk about here. my major issue with the book was that the first third or so heavily dealt with the robin/cormoran romance that i've never been invested in. as characters i've never really fallen into the "will they, won't they" nature of their relationships. to me it's not as important as everything else that is going on with their dynamics as characters. given how the last book ended some of the exploration of the aftermath i feel was to be expected, but it felt protracted and drawn out to a degree that for my taste wasn't all that enjoyable to read.

as for the mystery in this book, much like the other installments i didn't find myself solving it along with our leads. i personally don't think that it's a bad thing, and i do think that his book in particular if that's something you wanted and do read a lot of mysteries you could do, just wasn't in the cards for me. i also just wasn't invested in this case? for much of the novel it feels very low stakes, and even after the plot twist nothing feels raised. i did have a healthy break between the third book and this one, but even this, this felt sort of like a lull after the story that happened there. it's not that it's a bad thing necessarily, but between not being invested in the non-mystery aspects of the relationship drama and then not having the mystery to latch onto there was little else for me to look forward to.

that said i was pretty happy with how the narrative ended here, and while i didn't have the best time reading it, at the conclusion i was satisfied. i think that it ends in a nice place where if you wanted to stop the series you could, and if no more books were released things would be fine while also having it be a nice place to pick back up again should another book come out. i don't think i would tell people to rush out and read this, nor is my favorite in the series, but i don't think it's a waste of anyone's time either.

#mini discussion #the lost sisters #lethal white #fence

[mateotorrezjr]

red, white & royal blue → casey mcquiston

special shoutout to st. martin’s press for giving me a copy of the book in exchange for this review, all thoughts as always are mine.

it’s almost difficult to put into words just how much this book touched me on a personal level. it so beautifully captures the feeling of be a queer dude in your early twenties, stays grounded in reality while also perfectly executing the more fairy tale-esque aspects that one would expect from a plot about the fsotus falling in love with a prince?

alex’s voice throughout the book was incredibly refreshing, the amount of times that i laughed or smiled or had a knee jerk positive reaction to something that was happening on the page are too numerous for me to even try an ballpark a number. he felt like a person i could know, that i do know, even side characters like june and nora or henry’s sister bea were all realized in a way that brought a smile to my face. tertiary character like queen mary or president claremont at times felt less three dimensional, but never in a way that i felt that the narrative was suffering because of it.

initially i was worried at how the novel seemed to be paced. we seemed to be covering a lot of ground in a very short amount of time, months seemed to be elapsing at a pace where i wasn’t sure if it was wise. by around the forty percent mark though i was confident with how the the pacing was being handled, yes the novel does cover a lot of ground and there are quite a few beats, but none of it felt rushed or hurried. all of the big character moments still felt authentic and genuine and not like they were being pushed in because we needed to get this character to this specific emotion. i think the fact that there were moment in the narrative where the book paused, took a breath and delivered some really amazing character moments really helped. there are some seriously incredible monologue moments where characters are given the opportunity to make speeches that simply melted me. there was multiple moments where i was nearly moved to tears by how much mcquiston had made me care for this characters.

the only real issue i have with the book is in the last twenty percent with how and who is revealed to have betrayed a character. it was the only part of the book that didn’t feel true to me. i do think that the subject matter was handled appropriately, and in terms of a political motivation it made sense, but i feel like the reader isn’t as attached to the character making the revelation as they should be for it to work. i know that they were an important person in alex’s life, and they appear a couple of times before that and you did get a sense of the importance they played, but the explanation almost felt too tied up in a bow. for a romance novel that’s not necessarily even a bad thing, it’s just that specific plot point didn’t make me feel the way it was meant to, and that’s purely a subjective thing. i don’t think that nearly as many readers will have the same issue that i did.

overall i love this book with my whole heart and soul, i didn’t realize how much queer characters in their twenties was a thing that i needed in my life until i had it. i can’t imagine my life without them, and i honestly can’t adequately say how much i loved the experience of getting to be on this journey with these characters.

#book review #red white and royal blue

[mateotorrezjr]

again, but better → christine riccio

special shoutout to st. martin’s press via netgalley for providing me with a copy of the book to review, all thoughts expressed in the following discussion are my own.

if i were a person that used half stars, i find that this is a book that would a perfect time to utilize them. as it stands, i don’t, and while from a purely objective standpoint this is a solid three star book, i don’t rate books objectively. i rate them from a purely subjective standpoint based solely on my enjoyment, and so i had to settle on a solid two stars.

before i descend into a ramble i want to acknowledge that i don’t think it’s inherently wrong for an author to draw on their own personal lives for a character, in my opinion while this is a novel it does teeter on the edge of semi autobiographical. i don’t even think that it’s wrong for a book to serve as wish fulfillment for an author or for a protagonist to be any kind of analog for an author. it gets into a weird territory when you can start to draw those connections perhaps, but to judge the whole of the book in that way i do believe to be a mistake. my relationship to the author, as tangential as it is as i haven’t watched her youtube content regularly in a few years, is not universal and there are plenty of readers that won’t come to this story with the same baggage that i did. if there was anything about the self-insert, semi autobiographical nature of the book it was the use of references. for a bulk of the novel the references seemed to be used entirely to make the reader that the book was taking place in 2011, it felt more like a crutch and one that riccio refused to abandon as the book went on. judging by how lackluster the bulk of the descriptions we did get i can understand why the references were used as a crutch. i’m not sure that at this point the “world building” could have been strong enough without that reliance. if the second half of the novel is anything to go by, even when presented a second chance to fix some of the lackluster descriptions the opportunity wasn’t seized.

part of the reason i felt like i needed to keep this in two star territory and not simply round up to a three were the characters. not so much individual arcs, but i found that our supporting players were never quite utilized an any kind of meaningful way? they existed seemingly as afterthoughts, which is kind of insulting as they do serve as some of the books only “diversity”. first we have shane’s roommates during her semester abroad in london; sahra and babe. babe is described as “dark skinned and curvy”, i’ve seen at least one person label babe as a black woman, and if further description of babe is provided in the book i can’t recall anything other than a mention of her hair being thick and curly. i feel like descriptions like this don’t do any service in terms of representation as “dark skinned” can refer to a multitude of ethnicities and racial identities. sahra is described as tan, and that’s about it. her name coupled with the fact that her family went on a trip to lebanon at some point in the past i assume that she’s middle eastern, but it’s never confirmed and furthermore neither of these characters are all that instrumental in shane’s life. there’s a throw away line about babe becoming her best friend, but all of those sort of references are made off the page and we rarely get to see those moments. they do get to share pleasant moments of general getting along, but nothing that would make me believe they were anything ever than simply pleasant with one another. what bothered me most about these two characters specifically if they were meant to be woc, is that both of them have moments where they are seemingly antagonistic toward shane for seemingly no reason, both times for pure shock value.

the novel also includes atticus, a gay asian [ nothing more specific is ever given to my recollection. so whether he is japanese or mongolian or vietnamese is a complete mystery to me ] and he is only ever included in minor moments of even far less significance than the ladies. presumably because the novel isn’t from pilot’s, atticus’ roommate and the love interest of the story, perspective. there is a second gay character, but he is by far and away the least important character in the story and his coming out is shoehorned in at the very end of the book in a way that feels more like a deleted scene that forgot to be removed. there is a black woman at shane’s internship, but her not getting an arc wasn’t an important to me given that she wasn’t really an important character to the story in the same way that babe and sahra could have been.

now i want to discuss the plot twist of the book that happens just before 50 percent of the way through the book, without getting too spoilery. simply put i don’t think that it was at all necessary. if anything i think that the later half, particularly the parts written between 65 – 80ish percent of the way through the book were by far and away the weakest of the novel. not only because we were retreading ground that we had already traveled, but really at no point did it feel as though any of our characters had grown.

in the interest of fairness some of the character have an excuse for the staticness of their arcs, this was a novel that was really never interested in making those characters three dimensional and was really only interested in one of the two leads. that said even they didn’t seem to have grown in a way that i think would have made sense given the circumstances. when you take into consideration shane’s goals the fact that she remains so static becomes even more painfully obvious.

shane as a character herself was also really painful to read at times during this novel. part of me feels that if you don’t fine shane interesting and compelling by the time you get to the plot twist the second half of the book doesn’t really offer you anything you can’t assume will happen, there’s very little reward for sticking through it once you’ve reached that point. that aside, shane for so much of the novel seemed to be pushing the blame for certain actions off of herself and onto the shoulders of various other characters. particularly in the first half of the novel. there’s an instance where she meticulously planned and coordinated a lie and then when confronted tried to play it off like it was an accident or she hadn’t meant to do it. i don’t think that the story really ever dealt with that situation, or even what would have been the fallout following the plot twist?

another thing i think the book failed to do was describe anything well. it never crossed into white room syndrome, i did typically have a general understanding of the layout and some of the key furniture or flooring, but there was general lack of depth. the book is set in london, but there are moments that take place in rome, paris, edinburgh, and new york city. all of these cities have distinct flavor and vibe to them, that riccio utterly failed to capture. i’m not even sure that it was a goal of the writing, and i do feel like it hurt. the setting all sort of blurred together. in terms of settings i think riccio relied on landmarks to really do the heavy lifting without thinking through how these setting could play into the story she wanted to tell in a way that was important to the narrative.

at times i found the dialogue to be clunky. mostly that a lot of it seemed to be 1) a reference to something or 2) something that could have been in any straight to dvd teen rom com situation. some of the clunkier moments were when riccio was trying to subvert a popular ya cliche. the first being a riff on the “i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding,” line that was honestly just whatever, nothing to offense. what really made me decide that it was clunky was a line later that’s an extended scene and conversation about that big romcom moment in entertainment where two love interests have a conversation that builds to a sort of iconic tattoo worthy word like “always” or the “okay, okay” moment from tfios that ends in the most ridiculous way. to be fair, it wasn’t the worst thing i’d ever read, in the grand scheme of things for some people that moment will work. it didn’t click for me, and it’s one of the easier moments to point to and not the countless conversations that obviously occur over the course of a novel that didn’t click. y’know?

riccio also made the decision to include postcards written to shane’s parents and her journal entries, and while i do think that at times they help to make shane a more well rounded character, at least more in comparison to the characters. but i found that these journal entries were another crutch to breeze through aspects of the story that honestly should have been far more fleshed out. i feel like this approach was taken to better facilitate this plot twist that i don’t think was entirely necessary. a book can only be so long, and the way that this narrative was chosen to be told, you have to make concessions and unfortunately i’m firmly in the camp that this same story could have been told without it and that the story could have even been better without it.

how many times can i sneak that sentiment into this discussion?

it’s hard to talk about the cheating that takes place in this book without going into spoilers, but i’ll do my best to. the cheating aspect was one of the many things that halted me from becoming fully invested in this romance. i was also partially not into it because for at least the first half of the novel i think that it was really easy for a reader to see as very one sided. i don’t know if that’s me being a dumb bitch, or me being stuck in shane’s head where her running commentary and anxieties. after the first 25% i was really convinced that this mutual attraction thing wasn’t all that mutual. even when i was back on board i thought that it was very strange that shane would continue to pursue a relationship with someone that was already in another relationship, and at one point in the novel she laments about how upset she was that the dude didn’t cheat on his girlfriend with her? it’s something that’s completely and totally irrational. i think that the narrative casually ignores the fact that after the plot twist shane is technically not in a position to be pursuing a relationship. ignoring isn’t the right word, it’s acknowledged, but still tossed aside in favor of resting on the fact that because of the plot twist it changes things. it’s a very nuanced situation, and one that i don’t think that this book was honestly not prepared or wanting to handle. it’s serious ethical conversation that most ya contemporary novels aren’t trying to tackle. it’s okay. just don’t introduce them. pilot’s girlfriend is also firmly in stock character, total plot device status. we literally get to know nothing about her. also just not a fan of this idea that after three months you should be completely in love with someone or the relationship is a failure, like, i feel like that’s not the message. i also feel like the book send a weird message about pursuing people already in a relationship, that if you have a crush on someone that is with someone it can work out for you and you can get a happily ever after with them. it’s very complicated like i said, and honestly not the type of conversation this book is capable of handling.

i had a lot of issues with this book, if you are interested in my live reactions and thoughts about things i did livetweet it, so you can check that out here. i tried to keep this review centered on the larger issues that i had with the narrative. i’m almost positive thought that few of the pettier critiques i had slipped in, and i wouldn’t be surprised if i was more than a little repetitive.

all of that said though, i objectively don’t see this book as terrible. if nothing else i was compelled to finish the book, it was really easy to read and so it never felt like a chore to continue despite the fact that shane was constantly annoying me and the narrative was constantly failing to utilize it’s whole cast of characters. as i’ve stated there’s nothing inherently bad about this story. despite the fact that i’ve given it such a low rating, i do think that there are people that won’t have the same issues that i did. i don’t think that this book is for everyone, that said i think that it’s also really easy to tell if it’s not for you and even if it’s not if you do manage to get to the end i don’t think that it feels like a waste of time. as aggravated as i became that the narrative wasn’t living up to the full potential, i can’t deny that some small part of me was at least pleasantly entertained by the mess that i was watching unfold. it’s a book that while can’t support the conversations that it sparks, it does spark discussion and i think that’s certainly better than a book that exists simply as matter in the universe.

#again but better #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

you asked for perfect → laura silverman

what i loved most about this book was how grounded the romance was. sure, we can have a conversation about the pacing because the book is less than three hundred pages and perhaps if it were a little longer that aspect could have been allowed to breathe more and we might have had more time with amir before he was firmly established as love interest, and subsequent b-level plot lines also might have had more time to breath. that’s not the book we have though, and i think that the book we have does well to pace out the romance plot in addition to the other arcs being explored.

this is definitely one of the books i wish i had been able to read as a teenager, but even still as an adult i think the narrative works. while i personally don’t suffer from anxiety and the mounting pressure of senior year never quite got to me the same way that it does to ariel, i was still able to really connect to that. i also felt that that inner conflict was the highlight of the story, and was almost in a way the a plot. it’s probably one of the things that could have benefited from having a few more pages, but even without out them i think that they worked. i loved the moments between ariel and his rabbi leading up to the harvard interview and getting to see that pivot in him personally.

as for the romance? it was simply too cute for words as far as i was concerned. i loved how grounded it was, it very much felt like a high school kind of love. i’ll throw the rest of my thoughts about them under a spoiler cut.

while the narrative hints at them trying to make things work through college and i will forever think of ariel and amir as a couple, i did appreciate that the narrative never tried to sell their relationship as the most epic love story ever told. it very much felt like two guys in high school that were attracted to one another and had shared interests and wanted to be together and hopefully they will, but it never went to a level where it felt like the kind of romance that could only ever happen in a movie, it felt like something attainable. i also appreciated that it was treated like such a nonissue, and i think that particularly for a ya audience that might still be coming to terms with who they are getting to see two boys falling in love and it’s treated the same as any other romance in any other ya novel, like i’m just so happy to live in a time where themes like that are becoming more common place.

while i’m not jewish, i did love all of the scenes around the holidays and them spending time as a family unit. i’m so happy that the family was integral to at least the b-level plot at all, really. so often i think ya has this stereotype of family not being important and characters will spend so little time with them. obviously not every family will function the way that ariel’s does, but still it was nice to see him and other character interacting with their families in ways that i think aren’t always represented in books. it was relatable and enjoyable to read about because of that.

i honestly cannot recommend this novel more highly, easily one of the best books i’ve had the pleasure of reading this year.

#book review #you asked for perfect

[mateotorrezjr]

on the come up → angie thomas

it’s honestly extremely difficult for me to out into words just how much i loved reading this book. the entire cast of characters were amazing to follow, though bri as a protagonist was easily one of the better aspects of the book. her thoughts and dialogue were so easy to relate to, so easy to connect with and see myself in. though while we’re talking about characters a special shoutout to sonny. as i haven’t looked into many queer books featuring black characters, it was so nice to see sonny as a queer male, not at all defined by his queerness. of the handful of black queer male characters i have had the pleasure of reading, sonny will forever and always be a personal favorite.

i would say though if you are a person that enjoys plot more than characters, this book might let you down. only in the sense that the narrative isn’t driven by a larger overarching goal. there are moments and things that do spark change and character growth, but i don’t think that plot is the main focal point of the book? it’s more centered on bri’s personal growth, her family life, and how those intersect.

it’s not important to have read thomas’ debut novel before reading this novel, but they are set in the same universe and i do think that if you have read the hate u give then there is an added layer of depth to the story.

if you want three dimensional characters that will grip you from the first page in a setting that couldn’t be more fully realized then this is the read for you. if you need higher stakes plots then again, probably not for you. i still think it’s worth a shot though, because it’s honestly just that good.

#on the come up #book review

[mateotorrezjr]

the sun is also a star → nicola yoon

i really wanted to love this book, and there’s a part of me that really does enjoy most of what this story was.

natasha and daniel were both perfectly fine characters to be in the heads of. even the chapters that weren’t necessarily from their perspective but those of side characters or other miscellaneous side chapters didn’t bother me as much as similar storytelling devices have in other narratives. i felt that they were incorporated in a way that wasn’t invasive and genuinely added context to the story that i appreciated.

however, daniel’s family was highkey anti-black when natasha was first meeting them and it was microaggression after microaggression and while the narrative explored that element, it just all felt very surface level. and all black people will respond differently, but it was really uncomfortable to read about. because the way the narrative is structured i understood that we were in a time crunch and so problems had to be resolved in a way to keep the pace of the story from lagging, but that was an issue as was later on in the narrative when daniel blows up at natasha. i found that not only to be out of character, but something that was completely unwarranted? again, i understand the narrative forces the time crunch, but i found to be so unbelievable and not something that any rational human would expect to be told in the first few hours of having met someone that it just really pulled me out of the story, and later when natasha says that she should have while daniel recognizes that it was too personal felt off because she really shouldn’t have felt like she needed to explain something that personal to someone she just met?

with all of that said my biggest issue really was with the epilogue. it felt almost as though yoon wanted to have their cake and eat it. they wanted to craft this bittersweet, realistic ending and then immediately undercut it. for me, that was the last straw and it honestly really upset me? partially because of all of the convenient coincidences that this book is built on for it to have the pretending it does is already annoying, but you appreciate it for not being a copout, even if the explanation for how it gets there is dumb. but to then do what yoon does with the epilogue? it just wasn’t anything that i was interested in and i think it underscores almost how absurd this premise is. for me it made me view the book in a completely different light.

i do think that this is a decent contemporary romance. it does sort of gloss over a lot of the heavier topics. it does address the fact that natasha’s family is low income and the struggles they’ve faced as a result, it doesn’t shy away from that. or how natasha was teased for being an immigrant, but it’s also not really the focus of the book. not that i think it needs to be, just wanted to mention it.

i do think it’s worth reading. it’s really easy to get through, there isn’t anything grievously wrong with the book i just might have expected too much from it.

#book review #the sun is also a star

[mateotorrezjr]

dragon pearl → yoon ha lee

after reading this i’m really interested in looking into some of yoon’s other works, but that’s not the purpose of this review.

i think that the elements of the korean folklore were weaved really well into this futuristic society. if nothing else i appreciated that the fact that there was magic never seemed to take away from the legitimate scientific aspects of the novel. min as our main character was really enjoyable, and being in her head as she worked through problems was an actual joy. sujin and haneul were excellent side characters that i thought made the part of the book aboard the pale lightning bearable. even jung added an interesting dynamic to the novel.

my criticism is that a lot of the novel does seem to fall into place just by pure luck, which to it’s credit the novel does recognize? luck is a recurring theme in the novel, and so it’s not something that i think is a major concern. though i do think that the final climax of the book happens far too late and then the resolution is almost a little neat.

all of that said, this is a middle grade novel and i think that while a person of any age will be able to appreciate the story that is told, the target audience will appreciate those things that i might have found to be a nuisance. in terms of asian representation i think that this book is just great, so especially for young readers looking for that this is something that i think they’ll be able to appreciate on a level that i never will.

#book review #dragon pearl