maryamgostudy

[maryamgostudy]

05. January 2021

Starting uni druing this pandemic is extremly difficult to be honest. I am stuck in my 4-wall-room, sitting at the same desk with the laptop in my face all day and all night. The only view i have is out of my little window at the facade of the building vis a vis and a fragment of a tree (at least). The only exercice i get is the 6 step walk to the bathroom and the 20 steps to the kitchen (yes, i actually counted my steps). I know i am "not alone" and "everyone is going through the same", as my dad keeps telling me to cheer me up, but the huge difference for us students compared to the home-office-workers is that it doesn‘t stop at 5pm. We don‘t have a weekend or just can take a day off to relax. Even after class, we have to keep studying and focus on the assignments. The pressure of failing is following every step you make, now more than ever, since you don't even get the little breaks between class or afterwards while going home. To make this already very depressing situation even worse: winter has been very hard on me too. It has been weeks since i've last seen the sun. Clouds have been covering the city non-stop since November. But the very real problem for first semester students is that you can’t exchange your struggles with other students. You don‘t really know anyone, so you're just left with an anxiety of not knowing if you're doing alright or if you're completely off. And again to top the whole problem with a sweet cherry on top of the cream: i am extremly introverted. I have maddening difficulties to approach anyone even online and you don‘t get the lucky chance to work in groups or with partners to get to know some students better. You just stare at the blank squares during online class. Names. That is all you get.

The pandemic is facing me with pressure and anxiety i have never felt before. I can feel the real depression creeping up my throat again. I say real depression because i have felt a lot depressed in the past years, but it has always been superficial. I always knew i would get over it eventually. But this depression is biting me in places i wasn't expecting and it scares me. I can feel it under my skin. I can feel the fog filling my brain, the heavy wights all over my body. It makes it even harder to concentrate and work for uni, what yet again increases the pressure of not failing.

I usually can handle A LOT of pressure. It takes very much to upset me. I am also quiet used to being alone. But this time i so feel lost. I am genuinley worried that i won’t pass this semster. I dont know what i should do to get out of this deadly circle of pressure, anxiety and weariness.

To all the students facing the same problems: please look after yourself. Stay alive.

lots of love.

#cant imagine how hard it must be for students living alone #at least i have my parents #alhamdulillah

[maryamgostudy]

03 JANUARY 2021

The first semester’s actually almost over. There’s only few days left until the final presentation of our projects and I am a little bit stressed out. I didn’t work much during the last two weeks of vacation. I tried very hard to keep up with my schedule but I’ve been very, very tired lately and that made it extremely difficult for me to push through and get my work done. Well, now I have to make the work of two weeks in only two and a half days... so wish me luck.

#energy drinks are prepared #i actually wanted to buy caffeein pills but the drug store didnt have them so i have to work with energy drinks and gfuel #architecture #architecture studyblr #architecture student #study #study tumblr #studyblr #uni #university #college #blog #study blog #academia #bw #aesthetic #coffee

[maryamgostudy]

01 JANUARY 2021

So, let me introduce myself. My name’s Maryam and I am a first semester student in Architecture. I live in Switzerland. Last summer I’ve finished a 3 year training as a draftswoman for architecture and now I’m studying at a university for applied sience. The main reason for this blog is for me to understand my study process better and to motivate myself to work harder. So if you want to join me on my journey you are very welcome! :)

#Study #study tumblr #studyblr #blog #university #college #uni #architecture #architecture student #architecture studyblr #academia #aestethic #model