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longingfreesia · 9 months
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Ain doesn't understand how Ciel can love something so impure.
this deals with self harm pretty directly. doesn't occur within the fic but like, talking directly about it. and lots of self hatred and such. i think its interesting the degree to which 4lain is so full of self hatred and deep down very fragile and lashes out bc of all these complex feelings blah blah i dunno im cringe here is nothing. this is a good tweet.
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longingfreesia · 9 months
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erblu runs away from home. this is when erblu "becomes" bluhen. there's.. oh geez. i don't really know how to tag this one. he has several illnesses, the ones highlighted here are regarding religion, and his mother. there's a bit of self-deprecating narration from his pov. tread carefully is all i can say otherwise. love
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longingfreesia · 1 year
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They had promised to see the ocean together, after all. 
i really, really, really like uta. i have a character essay on her drafted in my mind palace. i don't have much to say about this..! sorry. but it Is post true ending, so, spoilers... kind of? not really... but also yes... you know how it is... definitely big spoilers in my ending notes. sorry about this.
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longingfreesia · 1 year
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What greets him is, of all things, Richter. Looking disturbingly disheveled, for how neat he always is, tense in posture and staring at Ciel with wide eyes.
They fall to the blade in his hand, and then back up to his face.
Ciel quickly realizes how suspicious this looks.
do you have any idea how hard i'm struggling not to make anything involving ciel its own collection. it's like. it's my pride or something. i managed to go so long without it man. BUT it's not really ship, everyone's just besties right now. i realized i desperately wanted someone Uninvolved to give the perspective of someone outside looking in. so here we are
thanks to satyrgod for brainstorming with me as always via me ruining their dms but also bc they're responsible for a good chunk of this ciel.
cw for very brief self harm (hitting head and hair pulling). it's immediately stopped and only happens once.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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how the three siblings came to be under ishmael's care 
hi. oh, god. ok. so. a few points.
this covers child abandonment at length. they are adopted in the end, and will be happy eventually, but this isn't in this chapter itself and the abandonment is very much what the entire thing is about. tread carefully !
here, richter is 8, bluhen is 3, herrscher is 1. Baby mode this time.
please feel free to correct me on the german. i'll correct any mistakes. i will readily admit i don't know it and while i am multilingual i'm just sort of applying the logic i know from those languages to try and make the machine tl make as much sense as i can. research can only do so much when you don't actually know the language though so i am fully aware this may just be cringe. thanks. also don't ask me about the details of this i don't know a goddamn thing and i'm just throwing darts at the wall.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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bluhen gets a phone call from his mother while on a date
double update. something has come over me. i made it 3 & 1/2 whole years without including any proper shipping in this. i tried so hard, man. anyway, Again, cw for, well. implications of a bad parent, via a character's behavior. if this makes sense. some discussion of that.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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herrscher thinks about his hospitalizations throughout his life     
cw for discussion of hospitalization/hospital settings, IVs, illness, general depressive thoughts and all.. i hope i'm not missing anything.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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Bluhen crouches down next to the fallen Angel. “You were beaten.” is the first thing to come from his mouth, after the smile.
“I was not.” Richter feels as if he is being insulted. “Ishmael’s Agents are not beaten.”
Bluhen’s eyes crease at the corners as he beams. “This one was.”
hello! this one has been stuck in my drafts since january 2019, so 3 years it haunts me. i've always been determined to finish it, though, even if it took that long, aha, so here we finally are. at the time i was rather infatuated with this idea of richter and his idea of perfection, his relationship to his sense of self and what he should be for ishmael, etc... i also, especially revisiting this after master road was released, think it's interesting to observe how he feels about the other angels, obviously. anyway this started back then as me forcing richter to confront humanity in various forms and meanings and now i don't know what it is. it's very headcanon-heavy and self-indulgent, as usual.
the temple they visit is the underground chapel in feita. it largely takes place in what was the boss room of it.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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they haven't exactly had much of a chance to just sit down and talk. naturally, there's an awful lot to talk about. set immediately post-5.3.
good lord. hello! this one has been haunting me forever, since i first wrote it in august 2020 immediately after finishing 5.3, in a sort of feverish haze. i was only able to finish it recently, however. sooome info for anyone unfamiliar with my ocs, my wol is.. 40ish, just shy of g'raha's height, freckled all over, barrel-shaped and blind in his right eye. here's a visual. i think he's very cute.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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sometimes Harque seems a little too dreamlike to be real. or, maybe Clamor’s just too caught up in his own head. a little conversation about the state of things in a new family.
i can't keep making rarepair tags by being the first one to post them, man. this is like the third time. anyway, it's kind of gay this time, sorry. however, because it's Me, and it's also This Settingーmore so, this timeframe of this setting, this fic once again deals with discussion of abusive parents. it's not as strong as the previous fic, in that it isn't as fresh, but like, the main conversation here is about these two's bad parents, so.
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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really, the festival is so lovely and compelling. it'd be nice if everything were that happy and simple, but grief is something very human that ain has no idea how to process.
cw: its.. more grief/mourning talk. sorry. brief mentions of sibling death
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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noah realized recently, that something he's always wanted to do is make some kind of memorial, something to remember his big brother, the kind he never got to have.
cw: extensive discussion of sibling death and/in the context of, grief and mourning; and implication/mention of negligent family. its catharsis
btw; respectively: pray for me, family union; sweetness, return to/of happiness, humility, purity, you've made my life complete; remembrance, success, sympathy
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longingfreesia · 2 years
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“Say, kid, not like I mind, but... You stay here so often - surely your family minds you being gone so much?”
“No. They don’t.” He says it so effortlessly, not missing a beat, without even looking up. Something about it is unnerving. Something about it says this conversation is over here, just as soon as it started.
hello! sorry for the bad summary and oh my god this au is a nightmare okay. here is a drawing i made a while ago explaining some of the setting. it is very very headcanon based and indulgent. harque has a lot of Issues that affect how he outwardly deals with things and rationalizes to himself. he's very much this tweet. clamor is like a second big brother to noah. harque and clamor are like.. kind of.. y'know. but that's not really relevant in this so it's not tagged.
anyway, i need to denote an important content warning: this fic deals extensively with familial abuse. it goes into sparing detail about the abuse itself (which escalated to physical in this instance, but otherwise not), but mostly, it's about dealing with the feelings that stem from it, moving on, and getting away from that situation. still, it might be heavy or hard to read. please do be careful.
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longingfreesia · 3 years
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in a moment of incredible weakness, bluhen decides to pray for the first time in a long time.
hi. this was originally written for an rp and i don't feel like altering it to make sense without those contexts. so here's a few important facts to know so this makes any sense at all
he died and was revived shortly before this. he bears scars on his physical body as proof of that. people used his death as a pawn in their moral arguments but ignored him and his wellbeing.
rosso snapped and told him his goddess never cared for any of them and definitely didnt care for him, either
"why are you posting this if it makes no sense removed from context" i like some of the writing i did for it. i'm tired. 
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longingfreesia · 3 years
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“I’m doing well for myself lately.” Bluhen smiles, in a difficult way. “I think Mother will be happy to hear about it. Don’t you think?”
Herrscher stares hard at his hands, having to decide then what he’s willing to give up for his sake.
part of a little conversation (argument?) between bluhen and herrscher. sorry about the tonal whiplash between chapters
hi. im back. i have so many thoughts. this is just a little drabble, because i wanted to get one of them out. i also updated the information about this au to cover things i made concrete that werent before, story updates, etc.
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longingfreesia · 3 years
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it's only natural for thancred to worry about a fellow scion. he doesn't understand why rihnn is so embarrassedーor why he is, for that matter.
wc 2017, pre-relationship semi-hurt/comfort. a very repressed and tired wol is taken care of in a somewhat clumsy way by thancred. i cant stop writing bonding over food.
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longingfreesia · 3 years
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“I’m glad to see you too. It’s been ages since I saw you last, and when I did, you were headed in here without a word. And then you never came out. I got a bit worried, you see.”
wc 4340, domestic fluff galore. some kind of modern au, probably. joseph is frustrated because he cannot seem to portray his muse correctly.
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